by H. M. Ward
Colin must be dying somewhere. I need to call him.
Mother continues, “Our family and the Frey family have been friends for ages. I’m not sure if you know this, Cameron, but we lived in Dallas before we moved to New York.”
You mean before we left New York the first time because you nearly bankrupted Dad’s business. Daddy was forced to salvage what he could from an awful situation, and Texas' tax laws make it a debtor's haven. Temporarily relocating gave Daddy time to pay his debts without completely ruining us, while accessing a pool of high-profile investors unfamiliar with our reputation. Mother acts like it had nothing to do with her, but I know otherwise.
Mother beams, glancing from me to Cameron, “Beth and Colin were high school sweethearts.”
I stare blankly across the room, knowing she won’t let me speak, but it doesn’t stop me from trying. “That’s not true, we’re just—”
“Now, Beth, please don't interrupt. You know how I hate such rude manners.”
I fold my arms across my chest and keep quiet. As long as she's talking about me instead of the value of Cameron’s antiques we're good. I sit back listening to Mother tell her version of my relationship with Colin.
“It broke Beth’s heart to leave Colin when we moved back to New York. You should’ve seen the two of them, so darling together.” She sighs. “Colin’s mother, Andrea, said Colin was so devastated by Beth moving he hasn’t dated any girls since.”
That’s because he’s gay, but I don’t mind Cameron thinking I’m a heartbreaker. He glances at me to confirm my mother's story. I cluck my cheek with my tongue and shoot a finger gun at him. You know it. I’m hot stuff. Bwuhahaha.
“Thank goodness for the internet,” Mother continues as if an expert on Frey family affairs. “Even though Beth attended university in Texas and Colin went to Harvard, they managed to have virtual dates all the time. And now that Colin and Beth are both back in New York, I’m sure he’ll pop the question any day now.”
I choke back a laugh. “What makes you think he’ll do that?”
“Because Catherine Degatto told me the Freys are visiting New York next month. Why else would they travel so far if not to visit with you?”
“I don’t know, maybe to visit Colin?”
“Well, yes, but also because they’ll want to welcome you officially into their family.”
Cameron is sweet. “Either way, it’ll be nice for Colin to see his family again,” he says.
“Can you imagine the boost their only son's engagement will provide Michael's Senate campaign?" Mother’s eyes are on fire with excitement, but her face takes a sudden turn toward regret. "Oh, no! I've ruined it! Now, Beth, you must look surprised when he asks you.”
“I will look utterly shocked when Colin asks me to marry him. Scout's Honor.” I hold up three fingers with one hand and cross my heart with the other.
Cameron smiles, but doesn’t laugh. He tucks his chin for a moment, and then nods as mother starts talking again.
“Catherine also mentioned hosting a masquerade ball fundraiser for Michael Frey. Will you attend, Cameron?”
Cameron blinks, surprised Mother’s giving him a chance to speak. “Yes, of course. If you permit me, I’d be honored to escort your family and purchase the tickets for all of us.”
“How wonderful. Jane will be delighted to hear that.”
“Hear about what?” Jane’s soft voice comes from behind us.
Cameron lets out a breath and his eyes grow soft as they look at Jane standing at the doorway. “Jane, you look lovely.”
“Thank you,” she says shyly.
“Cameron is accompanying us to the Degatto's next masquerade ball. Oh, and I’m getting married!” I let out a squeal and smile at her like the Joker.
“What?” Jane’s brow pinches as her gaze darts between Mother and me.
“Girls, be serious,” Mother admonishes. “Let’s keep Beth’s engagement to ourselves for now, shall we?”
Mother walks past Jane taking a moment to pluck a piece of lint from Jane’s pink summer dress. “How lovely! At least one of my daughters has good taste.”
As Jane and Mother slide into the car, I glance around. No sign of Darcy. Apparently last night was a one-time thing. I can’t blame him—we have nothing in common. He lives and breathes on a different plane. But I can’t help but wonder which man is real—the one with the cold eyes and snobbery, or the guy with the soft voice and caring touch.
CHAPTER 14
It’s late in the evening, and I’m looking over Dad’s accounts again. Dad’s at a meeting, not due back for another hour. It gives me extra time to examine the dozens of Excel files Mary and I found in his computer.
The numbers don’t look any better now than they did a week ago.
I reach for my coffee, sipping as I scroll through, pausing to scribble on my growing list of notes. The only way Dad will listen to me is to know everything inside out, and grovel a little—okay, a lot—for looking at the books in the first place. He clearly needs help. I’m not sure why he hasn’t said anything.
“When you were little, you loved sitting on my lap while I balanced the books.” I jump, startled by the unexpected sound of Dad’s voice. “You thought all the red on the screen was pretty.”
“That was before I knew what it meant. Dad, I’m sorry.” I set my pen down and swivel my chair to face him, rubbing my eyes as they adjust to the darkness of the room.
Dad sits on the couch across from me. He’s exhausted—dark circles rim his eyes, and his skin is yellow and gaunt. “You were always asking questions. Always trying to learn,” he pauses, staring off into space, remembering the past.
“Yeah, I was a pest.”
He smiles softly. “No, you wanted to learn. What father could deny his daughter of that? I remember when you couldn’t figure out a problem, you’d get so mad, and your little face would scrunch up as if you could physically force the answer out. You’re so different from your sisters, Elizabeth. Jane believed everything we told her without question.”
“She still does,” I interrupt in a mumble.
“Yes," he chuckles, "She does. And Mary, well, she changed when Sofia died. Mary will sort herself out in her own time. But you, you have this fierce independence, this determination to make your way in the world. You’re so much like your mother.”
“What?" I screech. "I'm nothing like Mother.”
His brown eyes, so much like mine, gaze at me intently. His lips curve into a warm smile. “It's hard for you to believe, but your mother was different when we first married. Her priorities have changed.”
"That's a bit of an understatement, don’t you think?"
“Beth, you can’t understa—”
“You’re right. I don’t understand.” I move to sit by his side on the couch. “I know you love Mother. I know you want to please her, but you can’t wear yourself out maintaining this lifestyle. We don't need it. We do need you.”
He frowns. “Not everything is as it appears, Beth. You’re too quick to judge.”
“I know what I see, Dad. Sometimes, a cigar is just a cigar.”
“What?” He looks at me, puzzled.
“It means I can't find any deeper meaning for Mother's actions other than her being a social climber.”
He winces.
“Daddy, you have to tell Mother to stop spending.”
His jaw locks and his face grows angry. It’s an expression I haven’t seen in a long time. “Elizabeth Bennet, we are your parents. The relationship I have with your mother belongs only to us, and I will not allow you to dictate how we live our lives. Additionally, you will show us the respect we deserve.”
“But she can't go on spending like this—”
“No buts.” His face softens when he sees tears forming in my eyes. “Beth, I know you care. There’s just so much you don’t know about what’s happening.”
“Then tell me.” My voice is small.
“I can’t. I can tell you that your mot
her and I have always put you and your sisters first. We love you.”
“Oh, Dad.” I throw myself into his arms, crying. “I have to do something. I can’t stand idly by watching you suffer like this. Maybe I could help you in the office?”
He hesitates before answering. “All right. I could use a little help.”
I let out a breath of relief. Somehow I'll find a way to convince him we need to cut back. My thoughts are cut short by the doorbell.
“Colin! What a surprise," I hear Mother say in a voice that doesn't sound surprised at all. "Come in, come in. Beth," she yells in a singsong voice, "Colin’s here!”
“Good luck, kiddo. You better get in there before your mother starts taking Colin’s measurements for his wedding tuxedo.” He winks at me, humor twinkling in his eyes.
“Dad!” I laugh. “We’re not getting married. There’s no way Colin would ever ask me to marry him. We’re just friends.”
“I know. He’s gay.”
I do a double take.
He grins. “Don’t look so surprised, I know things.”
“How?” For a moment, I’m worried that it came from me.
“Beth,” he places his hand on my shoulder and squeezes, “some things don’t need to be said. To someone who knows that boy at all, something like this is obvious. But don’t tell your mother—she’ll be loudly disappointed.” He stands, and winces. “I’m a bit tired. I’m going to take a quick nap. Give Colin my regards.”
CHAPTER 15
By the time I reach the sitting room, Mother has Colin cornered, grilling him with rapid-fire questions. Jane’s distressed face is flushed red with embarrassment, but Colin takes it all in stride. Being a politician's son is not without benefits.
“You must be thrilled your father announced his Senate campaign. Of course, he’ll win by a landslide.” Mother smoothes the skirt of her designer dress. It’s new. Of course, it is. Fuck me sideways. If there’s one thing the Bennets can do, it’s go down in style.
“My family is very excited.” Colin smiles.
“Now that you’ve taken residence in New York, are you considering a political career here? I suggest you start small first. Maybe run for mayor first, and then governor? Wouldn’t that be wonderful, Jane, having the governor of New York as a close family friend?”
“Maybe," I interrupt, "Colin doesn’t want to be a politician.”
“Oh, Beth. Don’t be ridiculous,” Mother says as I sit down next to Colin. “Of course, he does. Who wouldn’t?” She nearly giggles, but covers her lips before her composure can escape.
“Actually, Mrs. Bennet, I'd prefer to settle into my law career before considering other career moves.”
“Speaking of settling,” Mother’s eyes jump from mine to Colin's like a Ping-Pong ball, “you’ll want to marry soon, I’m sure.”
“Mother.” My tone is a warning.
“Maybe even start a family…”
“Mom!”
“Especially now with your father’s campaign starting soon. Just think of the positive publicity your family could gain through a wedding! Wouldn’t that be exciting?”
“MA! Stop! Leave things alone for once.”
Her eyes flick to mine, and if she owned a gun, I’m pretty sure she’d shoot me right now. I’m ‘that’ child—the disobedient, willful, and defiant ingrate. If she could mount me above the fireplace and write a book about taming her wayward daughter, she would.
“Elizabeth, everyone with a respectable career marries. It’s not a secret.”
Colin shoots me a side-glance and intercedes on my behalf. "The media does love a good wedding.”
We're saved from further wedding plans by the sounds of stomping feet and a slamming door.
“Colin Frey! Get your pasty ass out here!” Mary marches into the sitting room wearing ripped pants and black combat boots. She flops on the couch between us, tosses one tattooed arm around Colin's shoulder and uses the other to stab him in the chest with one finger. "Your ass is grass, golden boy!”
“Your hair... Your hair is... GREEN!” Mother cries, her face frozen in horror.
“Don’t be silly, Mother. It's not green—it's lascivious lime,” Mary draws out the ‘L’ with her tongue and grins before turning back to Colin.
Mother’s face grows an alarming shade of purple, but Colin jumps in before she blows. “I like it. It’s fun.”
Mary doesn’t care that she’s in the blast zone. “Don’t try to butter me up, Frey. Is it true your father is making a deal with Degatto Industries, agreeing to block any environmental bills that prevent doing business as usual?”
Colin’s pale blue eyes blink innocently. “I don’t know. My father doesn’t ask my permission regarding either his business decisions or his political policies. He doesn’t ask me anything, actually.
“Michael Frey is a man of integrity," Mother says in a shocked voice. "He’d never make a deal like that. Colin, I apologize for Mary’s behavior. Please know her accusations do not reflect how we feel about you or your family.”
Mary ignores her, studying Colin for a moment. Then she sighs and relaxes her arms. “You’ve never lied to me before. And Suzy, from Suzy Loves Poochies, has been known to exaggerate from time to time.”
“Oh, dear God. Not that ridiculous blog again.” Mother pinches the bridge of her nose. “Why don’t we give Colin and Beth some privacy? I believe Colin wants to ask Beth a personal question.”
I glance at Colin and mouth an apology. He already knows Mother is crazy, but she’s exuding it ten fold today.
“No, it’s okay, you stay here, Mother," I say, knowing it will be too easy for them to hear everything we say in the sitting room. "We’ll go to Dad's office.”
Before Mother can say another word, I grab Colin’s hand and haul him off the couch.
“It was nice talking to you—ow! You’re ripping my arm out of its socket.” Colin rubs his shoulder. I push him through the door and glance down the hall, making sure that no one is near.
Closing the door, I rest my forehead against it. My head is pounding. There is way too much drama in this house.
CHAPTER 16
“Are you okay, Beth?” I feel Colin’s hand rest gently on my back.
“Yeah, it’s just taking me a while to adjust to the family again." Colin drops his hand, and I turn to face him. "So what did you want to—Colin Frey, what the hell are you doing?”
Colin is kneeling in front of me, his summer blue eyes gazing intently into mine through long, dark eyelashes. I notice streaks of lighter blond hair I hadn’t seen before, woven through soft bangs on his forehead. We’ve been friends for so long I sometimes forget how handsome he is. I hold in a breath as he folds my left hand into his.
“Beth, you are my dearest friend. You’ve been with me through good times and bad. When I needed a shoulder to cry on, you were there. When I needed a dance partner, you were there. When I needed a boob to feel up, you offered me yours.”
“Colin!”
“Shh! Let me finish. It may have slipped your notice, my dearest Beth, but my friendly affection for you has transformed into something more intense. I think, nay, I know I love you.”
He drops my hand to pull a Cartier box from his pocket and opens it. A monster of a diamond glitters under the overhead lights. “Elizabeth Bennet, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”
His eyes hold mine. His face beams sincerity and hope. It’s heart-achingly beautiful, and, just for a moment, I’m left breathless.
Then dread knots my stomach.
How is this possible? I think back on all the time we spend together—our endless chats, the way he holds me when we dance. Could he… Does he... love me? Like, LOVE me, love me? How did a gay guy somehow fall in love with me after all this time?
Tears spring into my eyes as I gaze at him. I’m not in love with him. He’s waiting for me to say yes. I can’t. I can’t marry him. But I can’t hurt my one true friend.
What do I do?
> Suddenly, I notice his lips twitch slightly—a movement so small, I almost miss it.
“Oh, my God, Colin! You ass! You almost had me!”
He clutches his chest and theatrically falls to the floor. “You wound me, woman!”
I plop beside him, laughing so hard my belly starts to ache.
“Admit it,” he gasps between laughs. “I was good. You believed I was in love with you.”
I shove his arm playfully. “What’s wrong with you? I felt so guilty I considered saying yes to avoid hurting your feelings.”
“Really?” His eyes shine with hope as he sits up. “Because I wasn’t kidding about you marrying me.”
“Be serious.”
“I am serious. My father called this morning—and you know that means it's important. He hasn’t talked to me directly since the day he caught me with Brad Carter.”
I nod.
Colin and I met Brad our freshman year of high school when Brad transferred to Texas from California. Brad was tall, tan, and gorgeous, his hair bleached by the sun—and he had a mad crush on Colin. With my help, Colin went on his first date and even had his first kiss that year.
Everything was great until Mr. Frey caught them in an awkward embrace. Colin's attempted cover story was that Brad was helping him practice for wrestling team tryouts, but really? Colin on the wrestling team?
Since then, Mr. Frey has spoken with Colin through his wife or his personal assistant, and only when necessary. Were Colin not so popular in both the media and the polls, he'd have been disowned.
“What did he want?” I ask while picking at my nail polish.
“He wants to announce our engagement.”
“Who gave him the idea we’re getting married?" It takes a minute before understanding hits me. "Aargh! It was my mother wasn’t it?” That’s why she’s been acting so giddy and telling everyone it was only a matter of time.
Colin looks like someone is about to punch him. “Please don’t get mad.”
“You didn’t! You wouldn’t!”
