by Stella Rhys
My heart slammed against my chest. My jaw dropped to the floor as the men surrounding us burst into reaction.
“Holy – what?”
“You weren’t shitting me about that?”
Jenna grinned, watching me with a smug look on her face as she sipped her martini. “Not at all, gentlemen. Come on, Sasha. Tell ‘em.”
My hands were shaking as I held onto the edges of my seat. I was in disbelief at how quickly this situation had turned. Everything had gone to shit before it could even start. My cheeks were on fire as the men around me suddenly clamored for my attention, their smiles all dirty and leering.
“Hey, what’s your name, sweetheart?”
“How ‘bout you come work for me?”
“I’ll fire my receptionist in a heartbeat.”
Air barely made it through my throat as I sat there completely mortified. They all craned their necks to get a better look at me, as if I were some kind of rare zoo animal.
“Christ, Jen. From the way you talked about her, I thought she’d be a dog,” the one with the slicked hair said before sliding his heavy business card at me. “Hey, if you ever get tired of getting it on with your brother, you should give me a call.”
“Don’t get your hopes up. She thinks she’s gonna marry the guy,” Jenna laughed.
This isn’t happening.
The room was spinning around me, the sound of their raucous laughter fading out of my ears. Numb, I slid off my chair, my eyes stinging as I made a silent beeline for the door. Don’t you dare, I berated myself. Don’t you dare cry in front of Jenna Pettit. It was exactly what she wanted. I should’ve known that and I should’ve known I was walking into some sort of trap. Because mentally, Jenna was still in high school. She still bullied to boost her ego and get her way. And if she couldn’t get what she wanted, she’d find the person who had it and make that person’s life a living hell.
Public humiliation was always a good start on that one.
“Hey! Sasha!”
I ignored Jenna’s voice and walked as fast as possible, my heels clicking hard against the sidewalk.
“Sasha!”
When I felt her grab my wrist, I promptly yanked it back, finally facing her and her look of thorough amusement. “Are you fucking kidding me?” My voice was shaky but I did my best to gather myself before going on. “Honestly, Jenna, how old are you? What does it accomplish for you to tell a bunch of strangers that I’m fucking my stepbrother? And to pay my rent? I truly can’t even wrap my brain around how immature you are.”
“Me? Immature? You’re the one who hit me up just to gloat.”
“Where did you even get that idea? I had no intention to gloat, Jenna, I came here to ask you if you could find it in yourself to keep what you saw the other night a secret, but I should’ve known that you’d never just volunteer to be a decent person.”
She laughed bitterly. “Please. As far as you’re concerned, I haven’t said shit about you yet. Those guys in there don’t know you. They don’t care about you. They have their own fucked up lives and secrets to worry about, so don’t flatter yourself, girl. You’re not even a blip on their radar, you’re just some slut they met at lunch.”
“You’re unbelievable,” I muttered, walking off. She followed.
“Honestly, that would be you.” She slid her hands casually into the pockets of her pencil skirt as she traipsed next to me. “Seriously. I mean that as a compliment, Sash. I never thought you’d have the ability to out-bitch me.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do. You know what you did the other day,” Jenna sneered, walking faster to keep up. “I told you I was going for Liam and you knew you’d lose him to me if I got the jump so you used the one and only advantage you have on me, a.k.a the sexual taboo of being his stepsister, and you fucked him. Before he could ever get a taste of me.” We were moving fast but I felt her eyes searing into mine as she waited for some sort of reaction. “Oh, Sash, honey, please. You’re a smart girl. Don’t pretend this isn’t just a novelty fuck for him. Don’t act like you think he’ll actually stay interested past a couple weeks – maybe another month, tops.”
I clenched my teeth, hating that her words had any power to make me think. And doubt. I hated that her stupid taunting had any effect on my psyche.
“You know you’re only setting yourself up for hurt.” Jenna caught up to walk in front of me. I stopped and cut my eyes to her as we stood on the corner of Fortieth and Lex, the busy Midtown rush milling past our total standstill. My throat tight, I glared, struggling hard to find my voice.
“Whatever I’m doing, Jenna,” I started, “it’s none of your business.”
“Isn’t it though, babe? I can always tell everyone you know about your nasty little family fling. I mean holy shit, I can tell Ethan,” Jenna breathed, as if only just realizing that she could. Her smile parted with delight as she caught my reaction. “Oh my god, you’d hate that,” she murmured slowly, shaking her head of long, blonde hair and letting out a laugh. “Oh God, poor girl. Look at you in your wannabe girl-boss outfit. You are so see through. Just because you’re wearing red lipstick and fucking Liam right now doesn’t mean you’re not the same girl. The same weak pushover who stayed with an abusive idiot for years because she had nothing else going for her. You’re way too nice, Sasha, and that’s not a compliment. You don’t know how to fight, or manipulate or scare off the way hotter girls who are going to go after your man. You’re boring. And once Liam realizes that being his stepsister doesn’t make you a better fuck or anything close to wife material, mark my words, he will leave you.” Watching me closely, Jenna’s hungry eyes glinted, feeding off my vulnerability. When she bit her lip with satisfaction, I knew she’d seen the tears in my eyes. Goddamnit. I hadn’t let them fall but they were there, welling heavy and giving away the fact that she’d possibly hit the nail on the head.
Because my confidence only came in spurts. And I wasn’t sure I could keep Liam’s interest. I wasn’t sure if what he felt for me was real or fueled by taboo. More than anything, I might not be able to handle the pressure of being with him – of constantly facing naysayers and negativity and insecurity. It would never stop with a man like Liam. He wasn’t someone who could walk around unnoticed, un-approached. He attracted attention everywhere he went and with attention came trouble and complication.
“Oh, Sash,” Jenna gave an exaggerated pout. “Poor babe. Guess you just have to wait till your little fluke runs its course.”
I felt my cheeks flex as my jaw tightened. I wish I had some cutting comeback in my arsenal – something I could use to cut down her ridiculously smug satisfaction. But I had nothing. “I’ve got nothing to tell you, Jenna,” I muttered.
“I know, sweetheart. I know you’ve got nothing. And you’ll have even less once Liam realizes he’d rather have me than you.” With a shrug, she gave a little wave. “Anyway, I’ll let you go. But I’ll see you soon, love. Maybe at Liam’s Halloween party?” She tossed a seductive wink. “I’ve already got my costume, but you should definitely make sure to wear something extra sexy,” she said, a distinct mischief in her voice.
And then she waltzed away, glancing over her shoulder to confirm one last time that in this particular exchange, she had hands down walked away with the victory.
Chapter Thirteen
To my relief, Riley gave me the next day off at the bar, so instead of heading to work, I went to help Aria clean up her moderately trashed apartment.
“If it’s any consolation, now that I’m roommate-less, you can crash here whenever you want. In case you get tired of Liam because you’ve… I don’t know, lost your mind completely or stopped desiring men,” Aria snorted. She paused in the middle of tying a trash bag and looked at me, groaning to the ceiling when I didn’t laugh. “Oh my God, woman. In case you’re being classic Sasha right now and feeling bad about this, it’s not your fault. What happened between you and my cousin has nothing to do with why she
moved out. She was going to anyway. She said it herself.”
My lip curled as I picked up the mess of old shopping bags, receipts and empty tubes of Chanel lip gloss that littered Jenna’s old bedroom floor. “Well, I have a feeling she left it such a mess because she’s not happy you picked me over her.”
Aria pursed her lips. “Well, with that you might have a point. But so what? The thing that sucks about family is that you can never figure out when to cut the bad apples out of your life completely. Most people never do. But you, my friend,” Aria grinned broadly, “just made that decision for me. So with all my heart, and on behalf of my newly returned spine, I thank you.”
I laughed. “You’re sweet.” She was spinning what happened into something positive, but in reality, it was far more of a shitshow. After my disaster of a meeting with Jenna in Midtown, I’d gone home, cried and wallowed in more insecurity than I’d ever felt in all my twenty-five years. I sat on the couch all day, didn’t bother to turn on the lights when it got dark, and when Liam came home, I promptly pretended to be asleep. I’d done it to him before but this time was far less sexy since I was wrapped in an afghan, my hair in a sloppy bun and my cheeks streaked with dry tears.
Liam’s voice had been in my ear, murmuring softly, calling me “baby” to see if I’d wake up. But when I didn’t stir, he turned off the TV and carried me to bed. I pretended to wake a little once I felt him lift me easily off the couch, but by then, he was kissing my forehead and telling me to go back to sleep.
So I did. Or I tried. I spent a few hours tossing and turning while wondering what Liam saw in me. And then I fell asleep, all the insecurities I’d unearthed still awake and lurking in my brain. It wasn’t the best night’s slumber but thankfully, I’d woken up this morning to an empty house, which meant I didn’t have to hide my mood from Liam, who was annoyingly perceptive when it came to my emotions.
“Woman, you look like hell,” Aria said as she watched me clean her house like a zombie.
“Thank you.”
“Don’t sass me. I just can’t stand to see you so torn apart anymore. Maybe you and Liam should just come out as a couple and just rip off the band-aid.”
“A hundred percent no.”
Aria threw her hands in the air. “Then what? Just live in fear every day that Jenna’s going to activate her bitch card and tell everyone?”
“I’m just praying she’ll keep quiet till I figure out what I’m doing with this situation.”
“This ‘situation’? Please don’t call you and Liam a situation – you guys are the most beautiful thing that’s happened to your life since you and I first met,” Aria said with a big smile. “You’ve wanted him for ages and I’ve spent years watching the way you guys looked at each other. It’s been a long time coming for me too, girl. I’ve been watching this shit like a soap opera. I know it feels overwhelming, but this is a good thing, Sasha. It’s a happy ending.”
“Well, stories never actually end at the happy ending.” Tossing the last piece of trash into a bag, I plopped onto the bay window and let my head fall back against the glass. “I’ve wanted Liam since forever and I’ve questioned my relationship with Ethan forever. And now Ethan is out of the picture and Liam is in, but ever since all that happened, it’s been nonstop drama. I had less drama in my life when I was dating a scumbag.”
“Sure did. Your point?”
“My point is that I’m completely lost in terms of what I’m doing. I don’t want Liam and me to end but I don’t know how to make it work.”
“You just do.” Sitting across from me, Aria brought her legs up, hugging them to her chest. “You push through in secret for as long as you can and only tell people like Riley and your parents when it’s been going strong for at least a year, maybe a year-and-a-half. Then they can’t tell you it’s a bad idea or to nip it in the bud. They’ll know by then that it’s real.” When I opened my mouth to protest, she cut me off. “It’s either that or spill the beans now, which I know you won’t do. It’s tough, Sash. But you just gotta woman up, ride it out and remind yourself that this is all worth it for that beautiful man.”
My lips wiggled in a reluctant smile. “Fine. I guess it’s just weird to be technically attached but not allowed to talk about my… relationship to most people. Like, just between me and Liam, and maybe you and A.J and the guys, would he call me his… girlfriend?” I cringed, embarrassed to even say the word. I was even more embarrassed when Aria didn’t immediately respond.
“I don’t know,” she said honestly, blinking. “Maybe some relationships aren’t meant to have a boyfriend-girlfriend stage. You two have been soul mates since you first laid eyes on each other, and the reality is you’re a unique situation. So maybe you skipped that phase. Maybe ‘boyfriend’ and ‘girlfriend’ are words that are too insignificant to describe you two.”
I chewed on my lip. It was a romantic notion but I still frowned. “I want that title though. I want the stupid, little things, like going to a party and hearing him say ‘this is my girlfriend’. I want to celebrate Valentine’s Day with him. I want to go on dates.”
Aria clapped her hands. “You can!” she chirped excitedly. “And you totally should,” she said, getting that look in her eyes that meant she was scheming. I narrowed mine at her.
“Don’t you go quiet on me now. What are thinking about?”
Aria broke into a huge grin. “You should ask Liam out on a date. An official one where you guys meet at the restaurant so he doesn’t get to watch you doll yourself up at home. You guys should do the whole first date thing. Ask about each other, get to know each other – even more than you already do. And you should buy yourself some super sexy lingerie since Ethan like, banned you from wearing lingerie.”
“Ugh.” I groaned at the thought. The one time I ever wore lingerie for Ethan, his friends noticed my red bra strap and made sly comments all night. Ethan hated it, convinced that I was wearing lingerie to get attention from other men and cheat on him someday. It was irrational but it became such an argument that I got turned off from ever trying to feel sexy around him. In Ethan’s mind, sex was to happen strictly on his terms, not mine. Freshly pissed off again, I clenched my jaw. “I wish I never had to think about Ethan again.”
“Okay, I wasn’t trying to talk about that asshole, I’m trying to talk about Liam and how you’re going to pull out all the stops tonight with garters and heels and all that jazz, and you’re going to remind yourself that you are beautiful, this is your man and despite the haters, you guys are going to do your thing,” Aria said. “You should have fun with it like you would on any other first date! Spend the whole day glamming yourself up.”
I had to giggle at the idea. “I like that. I actually do, Aria, but it sounds like a lot of money I don’t currently have.”
She slid a little plastic card from her pocket. “Which is why you’re going to use the five hundred dollar Bergdorf’s gift card Jenna left behind.”
“Excuse me?” If I were drinking water, I’d have spit it out. “Holy shit, you should just sell that. Who even gives five hundred dollar gift cards?”
“Married men who want to keep their mistresses quiet, I guess?” Aria laughed. “Jenna was tearing her room apart trying to find this thing last month. I found it within ten minutes of cleaning the mess she left behind. So I guess that’s karma.” She extended the shiny, purple plastic to me. “Her loss, your gain.”
“I can’t take that. What about you?”
“What about me? I have a full wardrobe and plenty of lingerie I’ve never worn once in my life because I don’t have the guts to. I also am ashamed to admit that I still use my dad’s credit card from time to time so trust me when I say I don’t deserve that money. You do. Especially after taking so much of Jenna’s abuse,” Aria said. “All I ask is that you have an amazing time and tell me all the details tomorrow. Excluding the sex parts. I don’t really need that in detail – though I would like to know how he reacts to your lingerie.”
; I bit back a massive smile. Fuck. I really wanted to see Liam’s reaction to me in lingerie too. I was already fantasizing about what he might do to me. “Okay,” I finally agreed, letting Aria slap the gift card into my open palm. “I’ll do it.”
“Good girl,” she said before squinting to herself and then grinning. “Actually, I think I mean the opposite. Go spend that cash and be a bad girl tonight, Sasha. Ethan couldn’t handle it but you know Liam can.”
I smirked as I slid the gift card into my pocket. If anything, Aria was definitely right about that.
Chapter Fourteen
There were butterflies in my stomach as my cab pulled up to the unmarked, doors on West Broadway. The lounge I chose was a place I’d fantasized about going to after seeing it in a magazine a couple years ago. It was dim and sultry with satin walls and leather couches surrounding indoor fire pits. I’d been too intimidated to ever walk in before, but now, I couldn’t wait.
Mostly because I was going in to meet Liam for our first date. Ever.
“Hi.” I was nervous as I approached the hostess, who was wearing the hell out of a nearly transparent maxi-dress. Once upon a time, I looked at girls like that and wondered how they ever found the guts to wear something that basically screamed sex. Now, I was just about in the same boat. “I’m here to meet someone – he said he’s waiting in the room farthest to the back?”
“Of course. Follow me,” she said, flicking her eyes all over my ensemble as we spoke. A pang of heat hit my cheeks and I promptly second-guessed myself, as I knew I would. Walking through the main room and candlelit tables of beautiful people, I glanced down at my outfit. It was a little risqué and I hadn’t been sure about pulling it off, but after texting Aria photos of various angles, she implored me to buy it instead of the simple black dress I’d kept as my safety – rather, what she called, the “basic good-girl’s-idea-of-a-sexy-dress.”
