by Stella Rhys
His door was ajar. I pushed through, closing it behind me and making a beeline for his bathroom. The shower was already running, and I could hear his belt clanking to the floor as he undressed behind the door. My cheeks were hot. Just a second ago, I’d accepted defeat. I’d accepted that I screwed up and it as over. But apparently all it took to light a fire under my ass was seeing Liam openly flirt with Bree – seeing her suggest doing something sexual with him. If I couldn’t stand a second of that, there was no way I’d ever handle seeing him with another woman. There was no way I could stand to see him ever touch, kiss or be with someone else.
“Liam.”
The glass and mirrors were already fogged when I opened the door. Liam was down to black boxer briefs in there, and through the thick air he looked at me with as much surprise as his stoicism allowed.
“What are you doing?”
“What do you think?” The beating of the shower filled the silence between us as I gave myself a moment to look at him. The ice in his gaze refused to thaw despite the heat pouring in the air. I swallowed hard, trying to find my words. “I need something from you, Liam,” I said finally. “I need an explanation. I need to hear more than ‘sorry, I need a break.’ I know I made mistakes, but I still deserve more than that, and I deserve more than having to watch you immediately move onto some twenty-year-old you barely know. Whatever we had, I wasn’t under the impression that it was something you could throw away with one text. I thought I was more important to you than that, and if I was mistaken, please let me know.”
The seconds that passed felt like an eternity as Liam stared at me. I wasn’t sure if I imagined the hurt in his eyes.
“I said everything I had to say to you, Sasha.”
I spoke through the quivering in my throat. “So it’s over? We’re just done here?”
Liam sneered at me. “Christ, Sasha.”
“What? Talk to me,” I pleaded angrily. My knees were ready to buckle as Liam glared at me with what looked like disdain.
“You never listened to a fucking word I said. You were on an entirely different page if you thought I would ever end things between us, let alone with a fucking text.”
I stared. I was thrown so off guard I steadied myself with a hand on the sink as Liam closed the gap between us.
“I needed a break from you, Sasha. That’s the truth. I couldn’t watch you lie to me, and I still can’t. I hate every second of it.” He backed me against the door. “But I told you already. I love you. You’re all I want, and now that I’ve had you, I won’t settle for anything less. With that said, you still piss me off, Sasha. You still drive me fucking insane with all you secrets, and all the things you won’t tell me.”
I was paralyzed by his stare. My breath quivered as I breathed in. “You didn’t do anything with Bree?” I hated that that was my first question. Liam’s lip curled.
“I did as much with her as you did with Tuck. How’s that work?”
“That would suggest you were naked with her.”
“Goddamnit, Sash, I don’t need reminders that Tuck Mathis saw you naked,” Liam growled. “And for Christ’s sake, I wasn’t at any point naked with that girl. The only reason I agreed to spend any time with her was because your mom would actually leave me alone when I did, and as you probably can assume, I rarely want to be anywhere near your mom.”
I swallowed. “Fine. But what was this about ‘rubbing up’ on her?”
“I can’t imagine she means anything than bumping into me on purpose a hundred times because apparently, that’s how twenty-year-olds flirt. Does that suffice for you?”
“Yes.”
“Good. Are you still under the impression that we at any point broke up?” Liam’s body was so close to mine I could feel his warmth grazing me below my belly. Eyes on his bare chest, I shook my head.
“No.”
“Perfect. Glad I could clear that up for you,” he said, his voice steely. “Eases your mind when you finally get answers, doesn’t it?”
I lifted my gaze to him. “I wish I could fix everything that happened this past week, Liam. The only reason I ever hid things from you is because I love you, and I’m scared of what you’ll do if you find out. You care about me more than anyone in this world, and I realize I punish you for that, and that I keep you in the dark and it hurts you. But after the past three days without you, I’ve thought about how I need to fix that. I don’t want to hurt you anymore, Liam – I need you, and I’m sorry.”
I wasn’t sure when I’d put my hands on his chest, but my fingers curled desperately against him now. He gazed down at them, a low rumble coming from inside as he leaned in to me.
“I’m sorry, Liam,” I repeated softly, staring at his lips. I wanted so badly to kiss him, for him to kiss me. But he didn’t. He stood close enough for me to feel the outline of his erection on my stomach, and for his lips to almost graze mine, but he didn’t kiss me. I held my breath, standing utterly still for him as he pulled my skirt up and tilted his head to get a look at my black thong.
“Are you sorry?”
“Yes.”
“Then show me.” He hooked his finger into my pantyhose and yanked. I heard a clean rip. “Show me how sorry you are,” Liam demanded, stroking long and slow over the length of my wetness. Gazing down, I cupped him, watching and feeling him get fully hard in my hand. “Take it out,” Liam murmured. He watched every second as I did. “Get on your knees. Put your mouth on it.”
I obliged his primal command. I could hear Riley coming upstairs to look for me, but the sound of her steps did nothing to stop me. I opened my mouth to welcome Liam’s bulging thickness between my lips. When I wrapped my hands at the base, he stopped me.
“No hands. Hold them behind your back.”
I did as I was told, relishing the taste of Liam’s cock. I wanted him to feel the appreciation in my every wet pull on his steel length. I wanted him to know just how sorry I was. There was something hot and wrong about apologizing with my mouth but with no words spoken at all, so on my knees, I gave Liam my all. My cheeks hollowed as I sucked eagerly, taking pleasure in being so very compliant – in providing Liam the kind of ecstasy that had him shuddering quickly with the need to burst on my tongue.
“You’re going to tell me everything tonight, Sash,” he said brutally. “Everything you’ve been hiding. Every fear. Every fucking secret. Do you hear me?” He withdrew from my lips with a wet pop. I nodded, staring at his smooth, shiny cock. It was only an inch from my mouth and all I wanted was to take it back in and suck till I had every drop of his cum down my throat. But he wanted an answer from me first. “Say ‘yes,’ Sasha. Say you’ll tell me everything.”
“I’ll tell you everything, Liam.”
“Promise me.”
“I promise you,” I whispered hastily.
“Good girl.” Liam held my jaw firmly. “Now let me come in that mouth of yours.”
I wrapped my lips back around his cock. My fingers twisted his boxer briefs, bringing him deeper into my mouth. It didn’t take long. His hand in my hair, the other flat against the door, his abs flexed, and with a desperate grunt, he speared his cum onto my tongue. I watched the sections of his six-pack clench with every shuddering spurt. Satisfaction unfurled through my body as I swallowed, leaning back against the door and gazing up at Liam breathing raggedly above me.
When I returned to my feet, he caught my chin with a reminder. “You promised me.”
“I know. I’ll tell you everything tonight,” I whispered, closing my eyes as Liam pressed his forehead to mine. I could hear both Riley and my mother yelling for me now. Their voices joined the noise in my head that told me Liam would kill Ethan for putting his hands on me. But there was no going back on my word now, so I reminded myself that any price was worth it for him. “Just promise me, too, Liam,” I said quietly. “You have to promise me that no matter what I tell you, you won’t do anything crazy. You won’t fight. You won’t do anything that’ll get you hurt or in trouble
.”
Liam wore a deep frown between his brows as he looked in my eyes. “Okay, baby.”
He nodded all too quickly, but I believed him.
Chapter Twenty-Six
Like we did as kids, Riley and I waited by the vending machines while Mom lined up to pay for the groceries. Riley braided her hair as she watched her from afar. “So. Now that Mom’s out of earshot, can we talk about what a scandalous whore Bree Dalton is?” she asked. I snorted, but she pressed on. “Seriously! I can’t believe she’s actually coming over tomorrow for dinner. Like, doesn’t she have a family of her own? Why would she come to our dinner?”
“I think you know the answer to that.”
Riley scowled. “I do. And I find it annoying.”
“Why?”
“She’s not good enough for Liam.”
“I’d have to agree.” I paused and glanced at my sister. “But who is good enough for Liam? In your eyes?” My question was genuine. I specifically needed to know. But Riley shot me a look.
“Someone smart and classy and not cheap or trashy.”
“Alright, that works for me,” I said, but apparently, that didn’t work for Riley because she was narrowing her eyes at me.
“Honestly, is it so wrong of me to have standards for our stepbrother? Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t really want to see him settling down with some nasty little groupie who’ll probably suck off Max or A.J if given the chance. I mean can you imagine if he ever settles down and marries one of those little gold diggers that hangs out outside his gym? Imagine if she had his baby, and then he found out that she’s been like, sleeping with Dwyer or someone the whole time?”
I raised my eyebrows. “Damn, you’ve really thought about this.”
“Oh, please, okay?” Riley snapped. I tensed at the sound of her falling into her angry defense mode. “Don’t make me feel like I’m some kind of freak. It’s not like I’m sitting at home actively thinking about Liam all the time. Is that what you think I do?”
“No, that’s not what I think.”
“Then stop guilting me for having standards for Liam. He’s my stepbrother.”
“I know, Riley,” I frowned. “I’m sorry I made a passing comment that sounded like I was judging you. I wasn’t.”
“I love him in a normal way, okay?”
I blinked at her, completely stunned. “Yes. Okay.”
“I know you hold onto all the times I’ve like, drunkenly said he’s hot or whatever, but you know what, we all say shit when we’re drunk, and whether or not I meant any of it, it’s not like I’m in love with him. I just care about him. I want the best for him. That is all. Period.”
“I… okay, Riley. That’s fine.” I blinked at her, trying to figure out a proper reaction to her rant. But I was speechless. I had never heard my sister sound as obvious as she did right now, nor had I seen her get so worked up that she actually got red in the face.
“What’s going on?” Mom frowned when she came over. She handed me both her bags. “Riley?”
“Nothing,” Riley snapped, turning and walking fast ahead of us. I froze for a moment, blindsided by her anger. Then I fell quiet, feeling instantly awkward as I walked alone with my mother out of the store.
“What did you do to her?” Mom asked accusingly.
“Nothing. Why would you assume I did something to her? I was just having a conversation with her.”
“I’m not stupid, Sasha. I know it wasn’t as simple as ‘a conversation.’ But by all means, play innocent. You really are great at it.”
Her words stopped me in my tracks. I could’ve shrunk back and given up right there. In the past, I would’ve swallowed it and let it ruin my day in silence, so no one else would have to get upset. But before I knew it, my face was hot and I was pacing out into the busy parking lot to catch up with my mother.
“What did I do to you?” I demanded. “Can you tell me in words what I did to you to make you act like I’m some kind of disease? Why did you even invite me to see you?”
“I didn’t invite you to come early. You did that on your own accord.”
“I know that, Mom, I’m asking why you even invited me to Thanksgiving dinner at all!” I seethed as we closed in on the car.
“You’re my daughter, for God’s sake. How could I not invite you to Thanksgiving?” Mom asked with irritation. “Why do you like to waste my time with these kinds of questions, Sasha? Honestly!”
“Because sometimes, I wonder if you hate me,” I said heatedly. Picking up on the tension, Riley climbed quickly and quietly into the driver’s seat. Staring at my mom over the roof of the Audi, I waited for her to respond – to easily deny the fact that she hated me. But she didn’t. “Do you then?” I challenged, losing my capacity to act perfectly nice and docile for my mother. “‘Cause if you do, just say it. At least be honest about it.”
“Good God, Sasha, you are embarrassing me,” Mom hissed, peering around to make sure we didn’t know anyone passing by. She yanked open the car door. “I don’t hate you, but let’s just put it this way – I am never dying to see you. Now get in the car.”
* * *
The liquor store was surprisingly empty for the night before Thanksgiving, and to my irritation, they were already playing Christmas music. To make it worse, the tunes were all bubbly and joyous, as if actively trying to mock my incredibly shitty mood.
“Look, Sash, I’m sorry about what she said,” Riley muttered. We scoured the aisles looking for the only brand of Chardonnay Mom ever drank. I wasn’t exactly dying to run errands for her, but when we got home and realized we’d forgotten the wine, Riley volunteered to go back out for it, and I joined her since I preferred another shopping mission than being alone with my mom for even a second. Trailing me around the store, Riley heaved her twentieth sigh of the past five minutes. “I didn’t mean to get her involved, Sash, and obviously, she didn’t mean what she said. She was just upset.”
“She meant what she said, Riley. ‘I hate you’ would’ve been a stretch, but ‘I never care to see you’ is her being honest. And it wasn’t like I provoked her, she was looking for a reason to convey what a burden I am. She doesn’t like me, Riley. We both know that, and this isn’t really new information, anyway, so let’s just move past it and get all of this over with,” I said emptily.
Riley considered protesting but stopped herself. “Fine. Where is this stupid Chard anyway?”
“I don’t know. Why don’t you take this aisle while I check the next?”
“Go for it.”
Dragging my feet, I wandered into the next aisle just as a tall man did the same from the opposite end. I barely caught a glimpse of him, but staring at a row of bottles, my heart began to inexplicably pound.
You’re imagining it, I told myself, forcing my brain to read the labels and try to find the brand we were looking for. But it was like I was illiterate. I couldn’t make out a single word. The panic rising in my chest was sudden and so sharp it was painful. I pressed my palm between my breasts, freezing helplessly when through the corner of my eyes, I saw him stop in his tracks.
He’d seen me. And he was staring at me. But I refused to believe it was him. It can’t be. You’re emotional. You got in a fight with Mom, and it’s making your brain crazy. It’s not him. It’s not him. It’s not –
“Sasha.”
I didn’t look up. It was him. And it was his voice, but I wanted to hold onto my last bit of hope that this wasn’t happening. This wasn’t real.
“Sasha, stop. Jesus, please don’t cry.”
I didn’t realize I already was. I touched my eye, my hand shaking as it wiped away tears. Still, I refused to look at him. I simply stood there like a trembling statue. It wasn’t till he reached for me that I jerked away.
“Don’t you dare touch me.”
Owen held his hands in the air, his grey eyes pinned to me as he took a step back. “Okay. Okay, I won’t touch you,” he said, putting on that overly gentle voice that always made my skin
crawl. See, you were the one. You were the one who was good at acting innocent when you weren’t. It was you.
Not me.
“You shouldn’t be here. What are you doing here?”
“I’m just trying to buy a bottle of wine. Just like you.”
“You don’t live here. You know we do. There’s no other reason for you to be here, so why are you here?” I demanded shakily, forcing myself to look at him again. He had to be in his mid-forties now, but to my dismay, he looked the same. His evil hadn’t manifested into his appearance as I once imagined it would. He still looked like a nice man. Like everyone’s favorite neighborhood dad who coached baseball, drove a truck and manned the grill at barbecues. He still wore the same grey fleece zip-up, dark jeans and Timberlands. His sandy hair was still cut short, worn neat. Only his beard was showing age, peppered with a little bit of grey.
My stomach turned as I remembered how those bristles felt against my neck.
“Did you come here to find me?” My voice trembled barely above a whisper.
“I didn’t come to find you.”
“You’re a liar.”
“Sweetheart, I swear I’m not lying.”
“Yes you are.” I was losing my composure, if I had any to start with. I told myself to find Riley but I couldn’t move. My legs defied me, and my tongue blurted the words I told myself to suppress. “You’re full of shit, and you don’t care what that means for other people. You don’t know how they have to live with your lies.”
Owen shook his head and gave me a wounded look. “Geez… look, Sasha, I don’t want to talk to you until you’ve calmed down. Okay? You’re confusing me. You’re making me feel like I’m some kind of monster here.”
“Aren’t you?” I felt out of body now as I stared him down in shock. “How could you believe that you’re anything but a monster?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, sweetie,” he whispered pleadingly. “I think you’ve remembered something incorrectly.”
