by Stella Rhys
“Let’s go,” he said. I closed my eyes and breathed out hard. “I mean it, Sasha. Let’s just go. Before it gets worse.”
“But what about everyone else?”
“What about them? You can see them individually if you want. And if they don’t want to, you didn’t need them anyway. But you know some of them will still love you because they always have, and they always will.”
“I know.”
Liam’s strong hands encompassed my neck, cupping my chin and the back of my head. “If you know, then let’s go.”
I sucked in a breath and gave in. “Okay.” As my aunt’s laughter boomed outside, I dared to scoot my feet forward till my toes were touching Liam’s. Standing alone with him in the kitchen, on our own little vacation from the table, I exhaled. I rested my head on his chest and closed my eyes, saying a quick goodbye to the house I did have some good memories at. It was where I’d first met Liam after all, and where he’d come every week to save me. Because of him, it was a place that made me realize I could go on and survive and become someone new, even after the Owen debacle. It was for those reasons that I loved this house. Still, it was time to let it go. “Okay. Let’s think of an excuse.”
Liam tipped my chin up. “No. Don’t waste that energy.”
“Fine. We’ll take Riley, too?” I asked.
“Of course. Come on.”
With that, Liam and I headed back out. The second I stepped foot in the dining room though, I felt my mother’s eyes on me. Like a masochist, I met her gaze and confirmed the look of pure disdain she had on. All for me. But I didn’t care. I was seconds from being done with her, and she had no idea at all. She had no idea what she’d put me through last night, or the last ten years for that matter, and to my odd sense of pleasure now, she would never found out. At this point, my mother didn’t deserve to know me, and the best solution for us now was for me to disappear from her life swiftly, without another second of stress or struggle. It was the first step to my new start, and I felt genuine joy and relief in my decision.
“Everyone,” I started nervously. “So… I wish I had a better explanation, and I hate to spring this up out of nowhere, but I actually – ”
“Wrong,” Mom droned. “Wrong one.”
I blinked. “Sorry?”
She heaved a sigh at the bottles of wine I’d from the kitchen that I’d set onto the table. “Those are the wrong ones, Sasha. These bottles have been in my fridge for months. Where are the bottles I specifically sent you to get last night? I told you the brand. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t that complicated.”
I heard Liam curse under his breath as I clenched my teeth, the peace of my decision wavering fast. “They weren’t there, Mom.”
“I called ahead to ask, so yes, they actually were. But it’s alright,” Mom said primly, heaving a sigh. “My fault for trusting you. I guess I never learn.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.”
Liam said it loud and clear. I froze, as did the rest of my family as he stood at the end of the table, laughing in bitter disbelief with his eyes trained on my mother.
“Do you want to know why she didn’t get your wine, Pamela?”
A chill ran over me. No, no, please no.
“It’s because she ran into Owen at the liquor store. You remember him right? I do. I’ll never forget him and I’ve never fucking met him.”
“Excuse me?” Mom hissed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Liam, but I’m certain this is not the place for the conversation, so please stop talking.”
“No,” Liam declined casually. “You deserve to hear this. You deserve to remember that you abandoned your daughter. You blamed her for something you knew wasn’t her fault, because all you cared about was Owen, and your life and your fun. You gave her no fucking chance in the world to be happy. You’re just lucky she turned out as strong as you like to pretend to be.”
My mother’s blue eyes were mortified and wild like I’d never seen. I watched her grow quickly hysterical as her gaze flitted around the table, confirming the audience she had for this moment of shame. I shouldn’t have been surprised when she finally directed her fury at me. “How dare you tell anyone about this.”
“God, Mom,” I exhaled in final disappointment and reached to grab my purse off my chair.
“I mean it! How dare you? You are classless!”
“Stop yourself,” I whispered.
“No! You are a classless, nasty girl!” she hissed at me. “You are the reason!”
I faced her in tears. “For what?” I wanted so badly to hear it. You’re the reason I had to break up with Owen. You’re the reason I can’t love you. I just wanted her to say it so I could finally hit back with everything I’d been holding in for a decade. I forced you to break up with Owen? Because my fifteen-year-old self seduced him? Is that what you believe? “I mean it, Mom. Tell me what I’m the reason for.”
“You’re the reason things get ruined!” she blurted furiously, still desperate to stay in denial. I lost my sanity fast but Liam wrapped his arms around me and turned me protectively away from the table.
“Tell them about Owen, Pam. Tell even your side of the story. They’ll still figure it out on their own,” he muttered between his teeth, holding me tight as I stared out at the living room and cried. “You let a monster into your daughter’s life, and you blamed her for what he did to her. It’s fucking repulsive and delusional. But you take your time figuring that one out. Maybe in another ten years you’ll start to realize how cruel and worthless you are, but expect to do it alone.”
Through a wall of tears, I stared out the window at the plush lawn. I couldn’t see my family anymore, but I could hear Vic’s chair push out, his voice low but pushed to its brink. “You gotta leave now,” he muttered to Liam, enraged yet still matter-of-fact.
“Not a problem.”
The rest of the table stayed silent. If they knew the truth about Owen, they wouldn’t be. But they didn’t, so they were. Liam’s arms still wrapped around me, I leaned my head back on his shoulders. I was so incredibly tired.
“Well.” I heard Riley’s chair skid out from under the table.
“You go ahead,” Mom said with contempt. “You go right ahead too.”
“Oh, trust me, I will,” Riley said, walking fast ahead of Liam and me to get the door. I was surprised by how placid she was as she stood there, opened it and waited for us to walk through. Her dull eyes were pinned to Mom as Liam carried me down the steps, and I heard her casually toss in the last word before stepping out the house herself. “By the way, I’m getting a divorce.”
And just like that, the front door slammed behind us.
* * *
There was an attempt made at driving the hour and change back to Manhattan. But instead, Liam booked two overpriced hotel rooms a couple miles away, and we headed to Junction Pub. I knew I should have been grateful for how we went from chaos to calm in a mere ten minute drive, but something just didn’t feel right about the smooth transition from cutting off family to drinking whiskey sodas and thanking the bartender for the buybacks.
“Mad at me?” Liam murmured his question once Riley was off to say hi to a friend.
I rattled my ice cubes. “No.”
“You’re quiet.”
“Shouldn’t that be expected?”
Liam gazed down at my hands. “I know you didn’t want it to happen like that. I’m sorry I changed the plans.”
It wasn’t till he apologized that I realized I was upset about that. But considering the circumstances, I wasn’t going to hold it against him. “It’s okay. It’s over.”
He peered across the room at Riley then brought the back of my hand to his smooth lips. “I know,” Liam murmured, giving me a soft kiss. “Almost, at least.”
I said little in return, feeling quiet. But within another hour, I was fine enough to be playing darts with Riley against Liam and one of the guys we regularly saw after holidays at Junction. Anthony or Aaron, or something like tha
t. I didn’t worry about how heavily he and Riley were flirting because she wasn’t quite that drunk yet, and I reasoned she needed this. She needed something of a pick-me-up. I was the only person she wanted to talk to about her divorce, but I knew she felt guilty bringing it up after everything that had happened to me in the past twenty-four hours. Lately, it felt like there was madness at every turn, so harmless flirting at a bar seemed like a good recipe for temporary relief. I just made sure to keep an eye on her when she waltzed off to sit at the guy’s table with all his friends. Sitting at the bar with Liam, our hands entwined under the counter, we went back and forth between watching Riley and trying to talk about happy things, like A.J and Aria, or what we could plan to do for Christmas.
“Aria’s dad has a house in Vail,” I said, laughing at the face Liam made. “I know. It’s kind of posh, but the four of us can go there and have fun. We can bring Max, some of the guys from the gym. It’s a big enough place and Aria’s always fantasized about having people over there. It’s really pretty.”
“Yeah?” Liam grinned at me, his eyes gleaming as true excitement built in my voice.
“Uh-huh. It has a wraparound deck with a view of the river and you can drive to Vail Village in a couple minutes, and – oh.” I nudged his elbow with mine. “You can finally teach me to snowboard since skiing is for bitches.”
He laughed and finished his beer. “I never said that. A.J did.”
“Well, you guys can teach me and Aria how to ride and do jumps and tricks. Or...”
“Or?”
“Or she and I can sit in the lodge and drink boozy hot chocolate till you two are done with all that stuff.”
“That sounds more like what’ll actually happen.”
I giggled, but just then, I heard Riley’s sharp voice cursing someone out across the bar. “Oh, fuck,” I said outright, sliding off my chair and walking fast toward her. I didn’t recognize the girl who was getting up in her face and jabbing a finger an inch from her eyes, but it didn’t take long for me to hear her telling Riley to stay away from her man. Riley laughed with real amusement as she slurred at the girl.
“I don’t even fucking care. He is nobody… nobody…”
Before it got messy, Liam helped me bring Riley back to a corner booth, lifting her up onto the table. She’d snorted and giggled the whole way there, but the second her ass plopped down to sit, tears were streaming down her face. I reached straight for the tissues I’d hoarded in my pockets and started wiping her cheeks, hardly surprised since I knew this moment was bound to come tonight. We’d been through too much to not have a total meltdown at some point. I reasoned it was only healthy.
“Alright. It’s okay, silly,” I smiled as she tried to laugh through her sobbing tears.
“I don’t even care! I don’t care about that guy! I don’t know why I’m crying.”
“I think it’s pretty normal, Riles, considering the Travis thing, and everything that went down tonight,” I said, combing her hair out of her eyes with my fingers. I took comfort in braiding it away from her face as she talked, despite the fact that it was what my mother used to do with me. But I’d always loved it. “Listen, it’s been a big week for you, so get it out. You need to. But know that you are going to bounce back.”
“No. I’m almost thirty.”
“Christ, Riley,” Liam laughed and took her hand. “Forty isn’t old, so thirty definitely ain’t either.”
“Yes it is.”
“No, it’s not,” Liam and I said in unison.
“But I let myself go since marrying Travis.” Riley’s tears returned in full force. She shouted over us when we protested. “I did. I don’t get attention the way I used to. Admit it. I’m not as pretty or skinny as I was on my wedding day! Right?”
“Wrong,” I said flatly.
Riley sneered at me to look pitifully at Liam. “Just say it.”
“Not a chance.”
“Why not?”
“It’s not true.”
“Yes, it is, and I need to hear it from guy, so just tell me!”
“Christ, you’re fuckin’ beautiful, Riley, are you kidding me?” Liam groaned. “You want the truth? The truth is any guy would be lucky to have you. You’re the classic blonde fuckin’ bombshell, and you’re perfect as it is, babe. All you need is to take off that wedding ring.”
Riley swallowed her hiccup. On came a fresh wave of tears, but I flashed a grin at Liam, because we both knew these were different. “Tell me you really mean that,” she said to Liam with big Bambi eyes.
“I wouldn’t lie to you about that, Riley.”
I chewed the inside of my lip, watching my sister gaze up at Liam with a look that worried me, because I remembered her tendency to let her crush spill when drunk, and I remembered the fact that I’d still kept that crush a secret from Liam. It wasn’t like the other secrets – I just knew Riley would kill me if she ever found out, and that Liam would feel at least a little awkward around her. But my years of protecting them from that little truth were about to fall apart as I watched Riley stare down at Liam’s hand in hers, her fingers gingerly trailing up the vein that went up his muscled forearm to his bicep. Nervous, I touched Liam’s shoulder.
“Hey, I don’t think the kitchen’s closed yet - can you go get us some food?”
“Yeah. Definitely.”
“No,” Riley huffed, pulling Liam back. “You go, Sash. I want to talk to Liam,” she said, rolling her eyes when I stayed put. “It’s nothing personal, okay? I just need a guy’s perspective so I don’t lose my mind completely.”
I pursed my lips and stood there for a moment, trying to think of a reason to defy her. But it was hard to win a standoff against her pitiful tears, so before I knew it, I was going to the bar and ordering every greasy item on the menu that might soak up our booze. Leaning against the counter, I turned back to keep an eye on Riley. My shoulders relaxed when I saw Liam herding her into the booth to take a seat, handing her his glass of water.
“Keep it open?” the bartender asked about the tab.
“We should probably close it out. But it’s not my card, so I’ll let him know.”
“Take your time. And hey.” She caught my attention before I turned around and slid a pint in front of me. “That’s for you. Drunk girl duty’s no easy job.”
I laughed and wrapped my fingers around the ice-cold glass. “Thank you. Appreciate it,” I said, not quite realizing how badly I wanted this drink. I slid a five onto the bar and brought the foamy top to my mouth.
But when I turned around, I nearly dropped the fresh glass to the floor.
My cheeks burned like hell as I watched Riley grasp handfuls of Liam’s shirt, climbing onto his lap and smashing her lips against his. No, no. Shit, shit, shit. One glimpse of her tongue and my legs were racing so I could help with damage control. I saw the shock frozen on Liam’s face as he pulled her quickly off his body, and I could see him immediately launching into a speech to soothe her. You’re drunk, it’s okay, I understand it’s a confusing time right now…
“Riley,” I said, urgently setting the drink down, but she was already sobbing.
“I don’t get it! You said I was a bombshell…”
As she shrunk away from him and against the wall, I stuttered and stammered, searching hard for something to say. “Riley… it’s okay. Our heads are all so fucking scrambled right now. Right? It’s been an emotional day. Let’s just go home,” I suggested, climbing into the booth. But her drunk legs kicked me away.
“Leave me alone! I just… I don’t think it’s a big deal, Liam. I really don’t think it is,” she whimpered at him. “I’m never going to talk to my mom again after today, and she’s my only connection to your dad, so it’s not like we’re really related. And if it’s not the time now, then I don’t know when it is, because I’ve been in love with you for eight years, Liam, and it has to mean something,” she cried. “It has to.”
Dread sunk to the pit of my stomach as I exchanged looks with Liam. I
let out a heavy breath.
“Riley, we’ve all had too much to drink…”
She swiped my hand away. “Don’t. Don’t tell me that, because what I’m saying right now has nothing to do with that. I know my brain, I know my heart, and I know I’ve been keeping this in forever. But I thought I couldn’t have you, Liam, so I told myself marrying someone would make it better, and it would make the feelings go away, but it never did,” Riley went on desperately. “And I just see everything happening right now – I see the way everything is falling apart but really, I think it’s falling together. The divorce was meant to happen now, and that blow-up with Mom was meant to happen now. Because of me and you. I know we have something, Liam. I have so much fun with you.”
It was an official trainwreck. I slid my hands up my face and gripped handfuls of my hair, utterly lost, with no idea where to take it from here. But apparently, Liam did. I watched a gorgeous frown grip his brows, and my heart beat fast as he wet his carved lips.
“Riley. I’m in love with Sasha.”
I closed my eyes.
Fuck.
A blaring silence followed, but I could hear the knife twisting slowly in Riley’s heart. “I… excuse me?” she finally whispered. I opened my eyes to see the blood drained from her face. My hands slid down to my mouth, and I pressed my fingers to my lips as I watched my sister’s stare float away for a moment. Her mouth parted, and months of realization flashed through her blue eyes before she breathed, “Oh my God.” Her crisp words hung like icicles in the air, but then her eyes turned to me, and I watched as the sheer hurt flared into absolute fury. “Oh my God!” Liam tried to contain her as she thrashed at him, kicking and climbing over his lap till she was on her feet. But she stood barely a second before falling, tripping again as she tried to get up.
“Riley – ” I grabbed her, trying to hold her up, but she shoved me away.
“It was you!” she screamed at me. “I knew it! You were the girl he was talking about at the bar. ‘Light brown eyes. Fuckin’ face of an angel’ – I remember. I remember every word ‘cause it fucking hurt like hell, and you just stood there, Sasha! You let me humiliate myself every time I talked about him!”
