by B. C. Harris
I glance at Jamie. He has his iPad open to the Internet. He turns and smiles at me. We have talked before about the reality that most of Mr. Kraviak’s teaching was a word- by-word recitation of information on the Internet. He nods at me as if to say that today’s lesson is being brought to us by Wikipedia.
“In 60 BC, Caesar, Crassus, and Pompey formed a political alliance that was to dominate Roman politics for several years, setting a political framework that would last several hundred years into Anno Domini.”
I catch a glimpse of Michael silently imitating every facial expression that Mr. Kraviak makes in his reading. I fight the urge to laugh.
Does Mr. Kraviak realize that most of us can read much faster than he can talk? If all he’s going to do is read to us, they why not let us read the text ourselves? He could go home and save all our parents one less teacher’s salary.
“Their attempts to amass power through populist tactics were opposed by the conservation elite within the Roman Senate, among them…”
I know I’m about to nod off. Fortunately, this is not a big concern in Mr. Kraviak’s class as he rarely asks any questions. Even Martha, the one person in my class who likes to be heard as much as Mr. Kraviak, months ago stopped jabbing her hand into the air to ask questions. A week or two into the course she learned, like the rest of us, that there was no sense trying to ask any questions or add any relevant information to the current lesson.
Mr. Kraviak has only one communication skill, and that is talking. He seems to be both blind and deaf when it comes to realizing that there is a class of students in the same room as him. In some ways he reminds me of a former grade 6 teacher who constantly read stories to us. She knew if she ever stopped talking that our class would erupt into chaos. That was, until midway through the school year when she discovered that most students had portable music devices and earphones. Soon we were all listening to our music in class instead of her constant stories. She seemed to be pleased with this new approach and we were certainly much happier without her stories.
“Caesar was proclaimed dictator for life.”
Dictator for life? Sounds pretty dangerous to me. Is Mr. Kraviak aware that wars are occurring right now in our world because some power hungry men want to be dictators for life? Would discussing what is happening in the present and comparing it to what happened in the past make this class more relevant and interesting? Are there some lessons to be learned from Julius Caesar? If I asked Mr. Kraviak for his opinion on this thought, what would he say? I suspect he would pretend that he didn’t even hear the question.
As my mind wanders, I realize I have been procrastinating about my return visit to Tamor. During the past year I religiously counted down the days before I would use the powerful emerald again to return back to this unusual world. Three weeks have now passed since that self-imposed year ended. How could I have waited so anxiously for something to happen, then once the time arrived for me to take action, I failed to do so?
I think that part of me is excited about returning to Tamor, while another part of me is frightened. Unfortunately, the frightened part is currently winning the battle to control my decisions. I’m resisting returning back to Tamor because I’m afraid. I once read that more people are motivated by fear than they are by success. I need to find a way to overcome my fear.
I begin to formulate some of the questions that have been percolating in my mind during the past year that I would like to ask Capurni. Perhaps this will help to inspire me to return back to Tamor.
For example, one of the last things I did with the emerald just over a year ago was to locate Squirt after he was lost. Could I use the emerald in this same manner to discover what happened to my father? It’s now eleven years since he vanished.
Before I left Tamor, Capurni told me that the people of Lattisan needed me to help them with something else. What do they need me to do? Do I have enough courage to go on another mission? Is this why I have been avoiding returning back to Tamor?
In addition, I have a list of questions for Capurni related to the emerald. While I know that I can use it to travel between places, can I also use it to travel into the past or into the future? That would be incredibly cool if the emerald was like a time machine.
“The dramatic assassination on the Ides of March in 44 BC sparked a new civil war in Rome which directly led to the formal founding of the Roman Empire.”
Mr. Kraviak pauses to catch his breath, a rarity when he’s talking. Thankfully, the bell rings to end our class.
In the immediate collective rush to escape the boredom of the class, I wonder if the emphasis on having smaller classes in high school is the result of teachers like Mr. Kraviak. After all, if we had more students in our class, it’s possible that some students might get trampled at the door in the rush to escape the room at the end of the class.
Once I reach the hallway I take a huge gulp of air in an attempt to wake myself. Looking to my right, I notice Drew and Jasmin walking together in the distance. It looks like they’re holding hands. Is this really possible? In the school hallway? In front of everyone? For a moment I feel like Drew punched me in the stomach, but then I laugh. Yes, delaying my visit to Tamor is definitely stressing me. If I wait much longer, I’m going to become a nervous wreck.
“You okay?”
It’s Jamie.
“Ya. I guess I’m a little uptight about returning back to Tamor.”
“I don’t blame you,” Jamie replies with genuine concern. “The fear of the unknown can be a huge obstacle in making a decision, especially when your past experience on Tamor was life threatening.”
I nod at Jamie. There isn’t much else that I can say. I know this is my problem. I have to solve it on my own, although I appreciate his understanding.
“Maybe we could chat tonight,” I say.
“Sounds good.”
For a moment there’s an awkward silence between us. We both hesitate before continuing to walk. I know this moment has happened before.
It’s lunch time. One would think that friends like Jamie and I would simply continue walking to our lockers and then on to the cafeteria to eat lunch together, but that never happens, and I’m certain that it’s my fault. I just finished asking Jamie for his help tonight, but now I’m going to ditch him. Jamie is a good friend. Why am I always so resistant to eat lunch with him? Why am I so concerned about what other students might think about my relationship with him? Shouldn’t I be proud to be with my friends?
I’m about to ask Jamie if he wants to have lunch with me, but he’s already a few steps away from me. He knows the routine. Chat at night. Smile at each other in class. Even work together on projects. But don’t eat at the same table in the cafeteria.
As Jamie walks away, I feel embarrassed. How can I be so insensitive to him? On the other hand, there are times when I think that Jamie likes me in a way that goes beyond just being friends. If I ate lunch with him, would this encourage him to think that we are more than friends?
Sometimes being a teenager is confusing.
- 3 -
AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY
My mother has departed from my bedroom. Déjà vu, I say to myself. I remember that first night a little over a year ago when she left her beautiful emerald necklace on my night table. On that evening, a ribbon of green light radiated from the emerald taking me to a bizarre new world. Tonight it’s time to repeat the journey.
Jamie and I chatted for more than an hour tonight. I really enjoy talking to him. In terms of all my friends, and I don’t exactly have an exhaustive list of people that I can identify as close friends, I think Jamie is the one person I feel most comfortable talking to. While I’m sure that others would say that Jasmin is my best friend, and perhaps she is, there are many topics I don’t feel comfortable talking about with Jasmin. Part of this is because Jasmin is not a good listener and part of it is because I don’t trust her to keep our conversations confidential. And probably, I’m also worried that she’s going to tell Dr
ew whatever I say.
Jamie is a great listener. He understands whatever I say to him. He seems to know exactly how I’m feeling when I express my thoughts. I know that if I ever have a life altering decision to make that he would be the person I’d turn to for help.
Tonight Jamie and I talked about our boring history class, and even about Drew and Jasmin. Jamie also noticed Drew and Jasmin holding hands today. I’m pretty sure he realizes that I have some romantic interest in Drew. This was the only uncomfortable part of our discussion. How could I really talk about my feelings for Drew when I guessed that the guy I was talking to might have similar feelings for me?
Sometimes I wondered if I should come right out and tell Jamie that I only like him as a friend. If I did this, would it destroy my friendship with him?
The one thing we didn’t talk about was my realization that I knew the Miracle Man in Rome. When I first saw his picture on the TV screen three weeks ago, I almost died, but I kept my reaction hidden. For now, this is my little secret. Similar to returning back to Tamor, this is one more thing that I’m trying to avoid thinking about.
My talk with Jamie has given me the final push I need to return back to Tamor. As he clearly pointed out to me, I have an emerald with incredible powers. If I fail to learn how to use these powers in a positive manner, I might be leaving the door open for someone else to take the emerald from me to use it to cause great destruction. Avoiding any sense of responsibility, as the Keeper of the Emerald, is likely going to cause further problems, rather than avoiding them. As Jamie said to me, “Sometimes you have to face up to a problem to prevent it from multiplying.”
Jamie offered to go with me back to Tamor. Although I considered his offer, in the end I knew that this is something that I need to do on my own.
What would I do if my emerald no longer works for me? What if it takes me somewhere other than the fabulous underwater world of Lattisan?
Although there isn’t even a glimmer of light radiating from the emerald, I realize that I haven’t given it a command yet as to where I want to go. I’m still trying to build my confidence before I tell the emerald to take me back to Tamor.
The more I think about returning back to Tamor, the more I begin to wonder if I should wait another night to do this. After all, I’m so tired that I can barely keep my eyes open.
I decide to wait until tomorrow night.
My thoughts turn to Drew as I fall asleep. He’s generally a good person to dream about. In my dreams I don’t have to worry about Jasmin or Jamie. I can do whatever I want to do.
I begin to imagine that I have my arms around Drew. I feel his muscular body. I remember the smell of being close to him before.
Suddenly I find someone pushing me away. I blink rapidly trying to understand what is happening.
An unexpected scene unfolds before me. I’m not in my bedroom anymore. I’m on a couch with Drew watching TV.
Somehow I have traveled to Drew’s house.
I gasp. How can I possibly explain to him how I ended up in his house, especially when I’m not sure myself?
Then I realize that the emerald must have brought me here.
“Emily?”
“Yes Drew, it’s me,” I mutter with great embarrassment.
“What are you doing here?”
“I don’t know. I think my emerald brought me here by mistake.” I wonder if I might have said “Sandarium, Drew” in my dreams.
Drew smiles as though he’s glad to see me.
He moves closer to me.
Before I know what’s happening, he’s kissing me. This is not like the kiss when he saved my life last year on our mission to the Land of Shade. This is passionate; flooding all my senses. Part of me wants him to stop, and part of me wants him to continue forever.
I pull away from him. This is wrong.
Touching my emerald, I say, “Sandarium, my bedroom.”
I wake up. I’m in my bed. I look around. There’s no one else in my room.
Either I have experienced a very powerful dream, or I have accidently travelled to Drew’s house.
I pull my covers tightly around me.
I wonder how I will respond when I see Drew at school tomorrow. What will I do if he starts to talk about us kissing?
It was just a dream, I keep telling myself.
- 4 -
A DREADFUL DAY AT SCHOOL
Jasmin is sobbing by my locker when I arrive at school.
“What’s the matter?” I ask, fearing the worst. It was a sleepless night for me. I couldn’t stop wondering whether I actually travelled to Drew’s house, or whether this was part of a dream. The sight of Jasmin crying throws my mind into panic.
“Dre…, Dre…, Drew,” Jasmin manages to utter in between her heaving.
Jasmin is prone to being dramatic. Whatever has happened, and I already have my suspicions, this is not going to be pretty.
“Did something happen to Drew?” I ask, trying to remain calm as several other students are now slowing down in the hallway to take a second look at Jasmin. If I’m unable to calm her, soon the area will be flooded with students who are looking for gossip. Unfortunately, if my intuition is serving me correctly, it’s quite possible that by the end of the day my friendship with Jasmin will be over.
“Jasmin,” I say softly, but with determination, “you’ve got to get control of yourself. Did something happen to Drew?”
My best friend sucks in a few ugly sounding sniffs and attacks her watering eyes with her sleeves. If I’m hoping to subdue her outburst, I’m not having much luck. I’m sure the other students are beginning to wonder if Jasmin is having a meltdown. I need to get her out of the hallway. Maybe schools should have a crisis room where kids can go to cry or work out their problems without any interference from others. For now, the washroom will have to do. At least that will eliminate one half of our school population.
The nearest washroom isn’t very close.
“Jasmin, let’s go to the washroom. Maybe we’ll have a little more privacy there.”
Although she begins to move in the intended direction, she moves at the speed of a sick snail.
“Jasmin, we need to hurry. There are only ten minutes until the start of our first class. We both have math. You know this is one class where we can’t be late.”
I think I see a glimmer of acknowledgment in her eyes. From past experience, I know that Jasmin can turn her emotional outbursts on and off at will. She can appear to be dying one minute and then be laughing the next. I need to find some way to turn that switch.
As I push her towards the washroom, I notice Jamie approaching. Oh no, I think. I’ve got to keep him out of this. As he gets closer, his face reflecting his curiosity, I do my best to ignore him.
“Drew…,” Jasmin begins.
“Jasmin, wait until we get inside the washroom,” I say to her. Whatever she is about to say, and I have a pretty good idea what it might be, it doesn’t need to be announced to the world, especially if Jamie is within range. After today, he might be my only friend.
“Yesterday,” Jasmin sobs, and then in a moment of clarity continues, “Drew told me that he wanted me to be his girlfriend. This morning he said he has changed his mind. He said he met someone else. How could he possibly meet someone else overnight?”
“I don’t know,” I reply, although I suspect that I do. “Come on, we’re almost out of the hallway. Let’s finish our conversation in the washroom,” I say as I push her rather forcefully. Jasmin’s exaggerated flood of emotions are nothing compared to what I know I will soon be experiencing.
Once inside the washroom, I hug Jasmin. I feel her body trembling against mine. Have I really caused this?
“Emily, Drew doesn’t want me anymore. Yesterday, we were both so happy. I even spoke to him for more than an hour last night. I couldn’t wait to see him this morning. We agreed that we would meet early at my locker. When he never showed up I began to look around the school for him. Finally I found him in the caf
eteria. He said he didn’t want to be my boyfriend anymore.”
I want to tell her that I think I know what happened. I want to tell her that I’m the person who Drew met. I want to tell her that I’m the cause of her problems this morning. But I don’t.
I’m totally confused. My mind is racing a mile a minute. I want to tell Jasmin the truth. But I can’t get the words out of my mouth. Something deep inside is telling me that I need to speak to Drew first. Maybe my encounter last night was nothing more than a dream. Maybe Drew is having second thoughts about Jasmin for another reason. Maybe…
“As soon as I see him in class, I know I will start to cry again,” Jasmin says.
I notice that Jasmin has settled down considerably since her helpless outburst in the hallway.
“Jasmin,” I begin, “don’t let him see you so upset. Maybe that’s what he wants. Maybe Drew wants you to come begging after him. Why don’t you act like nothing has happened? He might be the kind of guy who is more attracted to girls that are a little distant from him.”
“Are you serious?” Jasmin replies. “How could he be interested in a girl who pretends she doesn’t want him? I want him to see how upset I am. I want him to know how much I like him.”
What else can I say? There isn’t enough time to tell Jasmin the truth; that is if I even know the truth. Maybe once I’m able to sit down with Drew and Jasmin and explain the accident that occurred last night, everything will be okay.
Who am I kidding? Everything will never be okay again. How could I possibly explain that it was a harmless accident that caused me to end up in Drew’s arms last night? How could I explain that we kissed? And I mean really kissed.
Once word gets around the school that I snuck into Drew’s house and hurt my best friend, my life will be ruined. My image of being a quiet, shy, serious student is about to suffer a tragic makeover. By the end of today I will be that girl that everyone is whispering about.
