by Olivia Besse
SINCE FOREVER AGO
Olivia Besse
Copyright © 2013 Wunderland Press
All rights reserved.
No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.
Wunderland Press
New York, NY 10020
First Edition
14 13 12 11 10 / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Printed in the United States of America
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright Page
One
Two
Three
Four
Five
Six
Seven
Eight
Nine
Ten
Eleven
Twelve
Thirteen
Fourteen
Fifteen
Sixteen
Seventeen
Eighteen
Nineteen
Twenty
Twenty-one
Twenty-two
Twenty-three
Twenty-four
Twenty-five
Twenty-six
Twenty-seven
Twenty-eight
Twenty-nine
Thirty
Thirty-one
Thirty-two
Thirty-three
Thirty-four
Thirty-five
WUNDERLAND PRESS
One
Don’t do it, Riley pleaded with herself as she tried to avoid looking in the offending object’s direction. I repeat, do not do it.
But what if he is actually hiding something? she couldn’t help but wonder, turning her head slightly until she could see Noah’s phone out of the corner of her eye. Maybe it won’t hurt to just take a peek. He wouldn’t even have to find out!
Just as she was slowly inching her hand across the bed, the sound of a door creaking in the distance prompted Riley to instinctively draw her entire arm close to her chest. Oh my fuck, she silently muttered, willing the blood to stop pounding in her ears as she tried to listen for the sound of the shower running. Oh good, he’s still in there.
I better check this shit quickly before he finishes.
Without so much as a second thought, Riley grabbed for her boyfriend’s phone, quickly tapping away at the locked screen to access the treasure trove of classified information contained within. Dumbass, she thought to herself as she unlocked it on the first try after plugging in the digits of his birthday. It’s as if he’s asking me to check his text messages.
Boring, boring, boring, she bemoaned inwardly as she scrolled through the backlog of text and group messages between him and his friends. Was it normal for boys to message each other so much?
Wait a minute.
Riley’s eyes quickly scanned the next few rows of texts, none of the names ringing a bell as she scrolled down the list. Female names.
Who the fuck is Brittany? she thought as she clicked the message open, sharply holding in her breath as the words displayed in the bright green bubbles glared back at her. ‘I’ll show you mine if you show me yours’? Riley began to read in her head, feeling herself get dizzy as she registered what this person named Brittany could have possibly been suggesting. Show him your what? SHOW HIM YOUR WHAT?
Fucking slut! she groaned to herself as she clicked on the next culprit’s name. Who is this Allison bitch, and why is she typing out ‘hehehe’?! Riley angrily wondered, narrowing her eyes at the screen. Who the hell over the age of six says ‘hehehe’?
Amber? Mikayla? Natalia? Riley repeated in her head as she snarled in disgust. Why the hell was Noah talking to girls with names like that? No male in his right mind would ever trust a girl named fucking Natalia. Didn’t Noah know that names like that just spelled trouble?
Oh God, Riley moaned to herself as she came to the realization of what was happening, the phone slipping from her limp fingers and landing on the floor with a dull thud. He’s cheating on me, isn’t he?
He’s. Fucking. Cheating. On. Me.
“Riley?”
Letting out an odd yelping noise, Riley spun around to face a shirtless Noah, who was peering at her with an amused expression on his face.
“What are you doing just standing there? You look like you saw a ghost,” he commented as he rubbed at his wet hair with a towel.
“Not a ghost,” Riley began, shooting him a suspicious glare. “But I did see something pretty fucking scary!”
“Why are you cursing at me?” he asked with a frown. “You know I don’t like it when—”
“Who the hell is Brittany?” she cut him off angrily. “AND WHAT THE FUCK DOES SHE WANT TO SHOW YOU?”
All of the color immediately drained from Noah’s face, and he stared back at her with a bug-like expression. “What?”
“Did you show her yours?” Riley barked back. “Did you?!”
“Were you looking through my e-mails?”
“They’re in your e-mails too?” she bellowed in response, her brown eyes widening in fury.
“Look, I—”
“Why would you have secret e-mails from a girl named Brittany?” Riley demanded at the top of her lungs.
“Riley, keep your voice down,” Noah hissed as he looked around the room uncomfortably. “Listen, I don’t know what you heard, but—”
“Are you cheating on me?” Riley squeaked out, staring at him in dismay.
“I...”
“Are you?” she repeated in a tiny voice, dropping her eyes to the floor as a sinking feeling filled her stomach.
“Riley...”
“Just tell me the truth,” she pleaded in a barely audible whisper.
“Yea,” Noah admitted before letting out a tired sigh. “Yea, I am.”
“What?”
“I... I don’t know what I’m doing,” he began, pacing the room as he ran a hand through his damp hair. “I mean, I don’t know what I want. We’re graduating in a few months, and I’m not even sure what I’m going to do once we’re done with school. I’m just confused. About everything.”
Riley barely heard any of the words that were coming out of his mouth, listlessly staring at the carpet until it appeared to be moving. He had been cheating on her? Noah? The picture perfect boyfriend that she’d been with since they were sixteen years old?
Noah, with his perfect black hair and perfect green eyes and perfect white teeth, had been cheating on her with girls who typed out giggles and sent lewd selfies via e-mail? Boys like Noah Cohen didn’t cheat—they bought flowers and remembered anniversaries and sent holiday cards to their girlfriends’ parents. Even with all of the evidence splayed out in front of her, Riley still couldn’t believe it.
“It’s just... we’ve been together for so long,” Noah was saying as she turned her attention back to his distraught face. “And—”
“You make it sound like it was such a terrible experience for you,” she muttered bitterly.
“No, Riley, it’s not that,” he assured her in a strained voice. “I just don’t know if it... if we’re what I want.”
“What?”
Take that back, she heard a quiet voice inside of her head say. Tell me you didn’t mean it, and I’ll pretend that none of this ever happened.
“I don’t know what I want,” Noah told her as he let out an exasperated breath. “I don’t know about anything.”
Don’t say things like that. Just tell me you’re sorry and everything can go back to the way it was. We can just forget that y
ou ever said any of this and brush it off as if it were no big deal.
“I think I just need some time off to think everything through.”
“You need time off to consider being in a relationship with me?” Riley repeated slowly.
“I just need to clear my head,” he explained, bringing his hand to his forehead while bearing a tired expression.
“By sleeping with a bunch of other girls,” Riley sarcastically suggested.
“No, you know that’s not it.”
Take it all back, the tiny voice pleaded as a clawing feeling filled her chest. Just say you’re sor—
Shut the fuck up, voice, Riley screamed inwardly as she glared daggers at Noah’s stressed out face.
“Did everyone know but me?”
“Just a few of the guys,” Noah replied with a sigh, nodding his head ever so lightly. “I didn’t mean for it to get so out of hand.”
“I can’t believe you’d do this to me,” she said as she let out an incredulous scoff.
“You know none of it meant anything,” he told her in a desperate voice. “I just—”
“Where did you even meet all of these girls? Did you just hit up bars every single night, collecting numbers behind my back?”
“There’s an app,” Noah distractedly replied. “But it’s—”
“An app?” Riley repeated through gritted teeth. “You chose to screw over our entire relationship by using a fucking app?”
“Riley—”
“Fuck you,” Riley spit out as she lunged for his phone and marched towards the front door.
“Riley, what are you doing?” Noah demanded as he followed her out into the open air hallway, nervously eyeing the phone in her hand. “Don’t do anything crazy.”
“Fuck you,” Riley repeated as she clenched the electronic infidelity-promoting device between her fingertips. “Fuck your cardigans. Fuck your boat shoes. And fuck your stupid fucking app!” she screamed, hurling her now ex-boyfriend’s beloved iPhone into the apartment complex’s bright blue swimming pool before storming off in the other direction, a satisfying splashing sound filling the air as she did.
Two
“MAXIMILLIAN FLETCHER!”
“Oh, fuck.”
“MAXIMILLIAN! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!”
“Why are you calling me that?” Max asked with an annoyed grimace as he barreled down the stairs, shooting a few of his fraternity brothers an apologetic smile as they shuffled away uncomfortably. “You know my full name is just Max.”
“Did you know that Noah’s been cheating on me?”
“Uh... no?”
“Lie or no lie?” Riley demanded through clenched teeth, narrowing her eyes in an accusatory manner, just as she had been doing since they were five years old.
“Are you really asking that? We’re not little kids anymore.”
“LIE OR NO LIE?” Riley asked again, a bit too loudly.
Max shot her a nervous half-smile before letting out a tired sigh. “Lie,” he admitted, his shoulders drooping in defeat.
“Why wouldn’t you tell me that Noah was hooking up with random girls every weekend?” Riley yelped out as she paced the length of the hallway. “Why?!”
“Er...”
“And by using a fucking app? What is wrong with you people?”
“It was none of my business!” Max groaned out in exasperation, quickly dropping his gaze to the floor as Riley threw a ferocious glare in his direction.
“None of your business?” Riley spit out. “NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS?”
“What do you want me to say?” Max asked with a tired expression on his face. “I just didn’t want to get involved.”
“Didn’t want to get involved?” Riley shrieked. “Why wouldn’t you tell me? I would have told you! How could you have thought it was okay not to say anything? I’m one of your best friends!”
“‘Best’ is a strong word...”
“We grew up together! I’ve known you almost as long as I’ve known my own sister!” she continued without even stopping for a breath. “We had chicken pox together! We’ve broken our legs together! We’re both named after dogs together!”
“Huh?”
“Now what am I supposed to do?” Riley whined out. “I’m single! SINGLE! I haven’t been single in almost a decade!”
“You guys only went out for six years,” Max muttered after counting how many years had passed since their junior year of high school.
“It’s called rounding up, Max,” Riley hissed back. “That’s how arithmetic works.”
“I apologize for not being more of a mathematician, then,” Max replied with an amused smirk as he plopped himself down onto the sofa.
“Are you really cracking jokes right now?” Riley asked as she shot him a wide-eyed stare. “Is the fact that I’m going to die alone funny to you?”
“You’re not going to die alone, Riley. Stop being so dramatic.”
“Of course I’m going to die alone!” she insisted, settling onto the other end of the couch and hugging her knees to her chest. “I’ll probably turn into one of those crazy old cat ladies. And then I’m going to die and no one will find my body for months until it’s too late and the cats have eaten my face!”
“You don’t even like cats,” Max reminded her with a lazy smile on his face.
“Doesn’t matter! You don’t really have a choice when you’re destined to die alone. They come with the territory!”
Max let out an incredulous laugh. “Tell you what. If you’re not married by the time you’re forty, I’ll marry you.”
“Oh my God, do you really think I won’t meet someone new for the next eighteen years?”
“Riley, look on the bright side,” Max began, trying not to acknowledge the fact that his tiny friend was literally shaking. “Maybe it’s a good thing that it all went down this way! Whatever you guys had wasn’t healthy. You two were way too dependent on each other.”
“That’s what a relationship is!” Riley yelled out in frustration. “Just because a social transaction doesn’t smell like weed or taste like vodka doesn’t mean that it’s unhealthy!”
“Okay, fine,” Max mumbled after letting out a long sigh. “Your relationship was the picture of sanity. But Noah was a dick. Good riddance, right?”
“How could you say that?” Riley shrieked, her brow wrinkling in confusion. “He’s your best friend!”
“Whose side do you want me to be on right now?”
“Mine!” Riley blurted out, staring at him as if he had just sprouted another head. “Noah’s a total dick!”
“Riley...”
“He said that he needs time to think,” she said in a hollow voice. “What do you think he meant by that?”
“Uh... that he needs time to think?”
“What is there to even think about? Either you want to be with me or you don’t. And he obviously doesn’t!”
“Who knows what he’s thinking,” Max said with a sigh.
“I don’t know what to do right now,” she moaned miserably. “I feel so lost.”
“You’ll be fine without him,” Max calmly assured her.
“No,” she quietly replied. “No, I won’t.”
“Yes, you will,” he firmly insisted.
“How do you know?”
“I just do,” Max said, jumping up from his seat and holding his hand out to her. “Come on. I’m going to help you charge through this.”
“Promise?” Riley squeaked out as she placed her hand in his, looking up at him with a weary expression.
“Promise,” he confirmed, pulling her up from the sofa. “Just think of me as your breakup spirit guide.”
“All right,” she grumbled in response as he placed his hands on her shoulders and began pushing her in the direction of the front door. “Where are you guiding me first, oh breakup guru?”
“You know what they say,” Max began with a laugh. “Alcohol might not fix a broken heart, but it’ll help you forget the asshole who broke
it.”
Three
“You should have just, like, told me, you know?”
Max stared at Riley with a blank expression on his face, just as he had been doing for the past two hours.
“I always thought that we were so close, like, you know what I mean?” Riley continued to slur, pausing her blubbering to let out a low burp before maneuvering her straw back into her mouth and taking a long sip. “I would have told you if I knew something shady about one of your girlfriends.”
Max cocked an eyebrow at her, both of them knowing very well that the term “girlfriend” didn’t exist in Max Fletcher’s vocabulary.
“Or girl friends. Whatever,” she muttered with a dismissive wave of her hand. “But still. I would have told you. I guess that I’m just a lot more appreciative of our friendship than you are, you know? I mean, you’re like a freakin’ brother to me.”
Max tried his best not to wince as the “b” word escaped her lips so easily, nonchalantly clearing his throat before taking another sip of his beer. As Riley proceeded on with her drunken tirade, both criticizing him for his insensitive betrayal and condemning the entire male race in general, he couldn’t help but think that she was the most adorable thing in the entire world, even with all of the intermittent burping and guttural groaning that dotted her speeches.
“I mean, doesn’t this all mean that there’s something wrong with me?” Riley squeaked out, snarling in distaste as the words left her mouth. “Why would he feel the need to hunt down girls on the Internet unless he was unhappy?”
“No way,” Max reassured her as he snatched the empty cocktail glass from her hand. “None of this had anything to do with you.”
“Obviously, it did!” Riley responded, letting out a theatrical sigh. “What did I do wrong?”
“You? Nothing!” Max replied as he shot her a disbelieving smile. “Trust me.”
“Did he ever say anything to you?” she suddenly asked, staring him up and down with a suspicious look on her face. “He must have said something. None of this makes any sense!”
Yea, he asked me what he should do about the urge to cheat, and I told him to just go for it, Max grumbled to himself as he shook his head. Not that I’d ever tell you that. Not ever.
