“I can’t. We’ve had this discussion already, Gretchen, and I won’t have it again. You said before, you could be with me, no strings, and where did that get us? Remember how you took a swing at me when I told you we couldn’t see each other anymore? I can’t do it. It wouldn’t be fair to either one of us.”
She left Gretchen standing there slack-jawed as she downed her drink and shrugged on her jacket before walking out the door. Erie wasn’t a huge city, and running into an old—what was she exactly? Not a lover, not a friend, but maybe a fuck buddy? God, Logan hated the term, but it fit. They often ended up with each other if they happened to be in the same place at the same time. But running into her just drove home the point she needed to stop going to the bars in Erie. It was a much longer drive, but Buffalo or Pittsburgh were better choices. At least she knew she wouldn’t run into Gretchen in either of those places.
Chapter Twelve
It was the following Monday when Logan held open the door to the bar—the very bar Logan had sworn not to go to again—for Brooke and watched her ass sway as she walked in ahead of her. After their fiasco of a dinner date a week earlier, Logan was forced to assure Brooke they would only be going to the bar as friends. How Brooke had managed to get under her skin was something Logan didn’t want to spend too much time thinking about, but there was no denying she had.
Logan went to the bar to get their drinks while Brooke snagged a table for them. She saw a couple of women she’d gone home with before, and hoped neither of them would come by their table. She was eternally grateful Gretchen wasn’t there to completely screw up her evening. For some reason she didn’t want Brooke to think she was a player.
“How often do you come here?” Brooke asked when Logan set her drink down and slid into the booth next to her.
“Not often. Remember I told you I don’t like to go out in Erie very often.”
“Right. Because you might run into someone you don’t want to see again.”
Logan glanced at her from the corner of her eye and saw the sly grin on Brooke’s lips. She was teasing her. Logan was surprised by the warm feeling in the pit of her stomach at the realization. She couldn’t stop the smile tugging at the corners of her own mouth.
“Excuse me,” said a rather attractive woman who stopped at their table and leaned across it toward Brooke. “Would you like to dance?”
Brooke looked at Logan, who simply shrugged. It wasn’t like they were on a date or anything, so why shouldn’t she dance? Logan tried to ignore the jealousy that flared up out of the blue. She looked away when Brooke smiled at the woman. Just because they weren’t on an actual date, she didn’t have to watch another woman coming on to Brooke, did she?
“I’m sorry, but I’m here with someone.”
“You’re together?” The woman looked at Logan like she was an idiot. “Doesn’t look like it to me.”
Logan scooted closer to Brooke and draped an arm around her shoulders. She knew she’d done the right thing by playing along when Brooke placed a hand high on Logan’s thigh and leaned in to kiss her on the cheek.
“I’m not buying it,” the woman said with a laugh. Her attention was now on Logan. “A word of advice—if I were you, I’d be all over her.”
“She’s not big on PDA,” Logan said. “But thanks for the advice.”
The woman walked away with a shrug. Before she got to the bar, she turned back and looked again. Logan waved in her direction and Brooke laughed. Another shot of warmth to her gut shocked Logan and she struggled not to give any outward sign.
“Are you uncomfortable?” Brooke asked, her hand still on Logan’s leg.
“No,” Logan lied. “Are you?”
“I kind of like how you rescued me.”
“I highly doubt you need rescuing, Brooke.” Logan started to pull her arm away, but Brooke snuggled in closer. It felt good. Too good. Brooke wasn’t the type of woman Logan was used to picking up for a night of fun. She deserved better, and Logan wasn’t sure she was equipped to give it to her. But damn if she didn’t want to try, at least for the moment.
Logan watched the couples on the dance floor and tried not to think too much about the things she wanted to do to Brooke. The things she wanted Brooke to do to her. The latter thought startled her enough to pull away from Brooke.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” Logan wanted out of there. She knew Brooke wasn’t ready to go. Hell, they’d just arrived, so she resigned herself to the fact she was going to have to hang out for a while. Her eyes darted around the room, and she had the feeling she was a caged animal looking for a way out. Brooke must have noticed she was spooked.
“Come dance with me.”
Hell no, was what went through her mind as a slow song began to play, but before she knew what was happening, she was leading Brooke to the dance floor. She stopped in the center and turned to face her.
Brooke moved into her arms like she’d done it a thousand times before. Logan held her close and felt Brooke’s arms go around her waist. Brooke leaned back so she could look up at her.
“You need to relax,” she said. “If I didn’t know any better I’d think you’d never done this before.”
“I haven’t,” Logan said even though she knew Brooke would have no idea what she was referring to. And she wasn’t about to try to explain it. Brooke just gave her a strange look and then shrugged before resting her head against Logan’s shoulder.
Logan’s heart was pounding, and she was sure Brooke had to hear it even though she gave no indication of it. She closed her eyes and concentrated on trying to even out her breathing, but nothing seemed to be working. The feel of Brooke’s body pressed against hers was doing crazy things to her head. When Logan finally thought she might pass out, Brooke pulled away and met her eyes.
“Are you okay?”
Logan nodded. She thought her knees were going to give out when Brooke placed a hand on her cheek and slowly began stroking under her eye with her thumb. When her eyes moved down to Logan’s mouth, Logan moaned involuntarily. Brooke’s hand moved to the back of her neck and applied pressure, but Logan resisted.
“What are you doing?”
“Trying to kiss you,” Brooke said, her eyes never leaving Logan’s lips. “You know, in case she’s still watching us.”
Logan felt the unmistakable rush of arousal and gave in to her desire when she watched Brooke’s tongue dart out to wet her lips. She pulled Brooke’s body against hers again as she leaned down and their lips met. Tentative at first because she wasn’t really sure how far Brooke intended to go with the charade, but when Brooke moved her hand across her shoulder and down to her breast, Logan found herself demanding entry to her mouth. Brooke allowed it and didn’t resist when Logan’s hands moved to her ass and squeezed gently. They both moaned before Logan pulled away.
“This is so not a good idea, Brooke,” she said breathlessly.
“Why?”
Brooke stepped away from her and looked around the dance floor. Logan felt the loss of contact immediately and wished she’d just kept her mouth shut. The truth was, Logan wanted this, but she was scared. She never gave any thought to what she did in the seduction of women, but Brooke was different, and she didn’t know how to articulate what she was feeling.
“I’m not good enough for you, is that it?”
“What? No, Brooke.” Logan reached for her, wanted to feel her body against hers again, but Brooke swatted her hands away and turned to go back to their table. Logan followed and was surprised when Brooke simply grabbed her coat and purse before stalking out of the club. Logan ran to catch up with her. “Brooke, wait.”
“I want to go home now,” she said as she stood by the car, her arms crossed over her chest and her attention on something across the street from them.
“Brooke—”
“You pick women up in bars, right? Isn’t that what you told me? Jesus, I practically threw myself at you, and you aren’t interested. Obviously I’m not good enough for you, so just
take me the hell home, now.”
Logan stood there staring at her. How could she possibly believe that? She ached to hold her again, to kiss her, to show her how truly attracted she was to her, but Logan instinctively knew it wouldn’t matter because Brooke had her mind made up. She opened the car door for Brooke to let her in and then ran around to the driver’s side.
They drove home in silence, Logan trying to figure out where things had gone so terribly wrong, and Brooke wouldn’t even look at her. She was apparently lost in her own thoughts, and it bothered Logan to know she was the one who had made Brooke feel like she was lacking in some way.
When she pulled up in front of the house and cut the engine, Brooke immediately grabbed the door handle, but Logan stopped her with a hand on her arm. Brooke finally turned to look at her.
“Let go of me.”
“It’s me, Brooke. You’re not the one who isn’t good enough. I’m scared to death I’m the one who isn’t good enough for you.”
Brooke stared at her as though she had two heads. Logan held her breath while she waited for Brooke to respond. When Brooke pulled her arm away, Logan felt like she’d been slugged in the gut.
“I might have believed you if it hadn’t taken you forty-five minutes to come up with it.”
Logan’s chin fell to her chest as Brooke got out and slammed the door behind her. She wanted to go after her, but what would be the point? Logan knew she would have had the same reaction if the situation were reversed. It was probably for the best if Brooke was pissed at her. A bit of distance was no doubt the best thing for them at the moment. Maybe it would give Logan the time she needed to get her emotions back on track.
Chapter Thirteen
Brooke brushed her teeth after her shower, unable to stop thinking about the fiasco with Logan the night before. What if she’d been telling Brooke the truth? Was it possible she might feel as if she weren’t good enough? No. No way. It was a line; she was sure of it.
“You need to stop thinking about her,” she said to her reflection. “She’s nothing but an arrogant womanizer, and you need to stay away from her.”
Not feeling any more convinced than she’d been before she started talking to her reflection, she walked out to the kitchen where she saw her grandmother staring out the window.
“Gram? Are you all right?” Brooke poured herself a cup of coffee, but her grandmother gave no indication she’d heard her. Brooke walked to her and gently placed a hand on her shoulder. “Gram?”
“Good morning,” she said absently without looking at Brooke.
“What’s wrong, Gram?”
“Your grandfather is having a bad day today.”
Brooke’s heart sped up. He hadn’t had anything but good days since she’d arrived to live with them, so she wasn’t entirely sure what her grandmother meant. Bad because of the ALS was something she could handle. Bad because of the Alzheimer’s was something she’d never had to deal with. She worked in the ER. Once in a while they’d get a patient with Alzheimer’s who had wandered off on their own and gotten injured, but usually by the time they made it to the hospital they were themselves again.
“What can I do to help?”
“Nothing, dear. Just leave him alone. When he gets like this he doesn’t remember who anyone is. There’s really nothing we can do other than try and keep him calm. I’m just thankful this doesn’t happen very often.”
Keeping him calm shouldn’t be too difficult. They’d told her before she moved in how to deal with one of his episodes. Go with the flow and don’t contradict anything he says. She took a deep breath to try to settle her nerves as they sat at the table. She’d never had to deal with Alzheimer patients before, and for the first time she felt woefully inadequate to help her grandmother. They ate their meal in silence, and they were almost finished with the dishes when she heard her grandfather making noises in their bedroom.
“Damn it!” he yelled before a loud crash.
Brooke jumped at the noise, but her grandmother took off for the bedroom. Brooke was surprised she could move so fast. Her grandmother was still relatively healthy, but she was small, and it just seemed as if she should move slowly. When Brooke made it to the bedroom, she stood in the doorway and took in the scene. Her grandmother was trying to help him back into his wheelchair, but he was flat on his back on the floor by his side of the bed.
“Why can’t I walk? Who the hell are you and what the hell have you done to me? Why don’t my legs work?”
Brooke fought back tears and took a deep breath before her professional demeanor took over. She knelt next to her grandmother and placed a hand on her grandfather’s arm in an attempt to still him.
“Let us help you back into the chair and we’ll explain.”
He looked at her, but she got the eerie sense he wasn’t really seeing her at all. He finally acquiesced and allowed the two of them to get him back up. Once he was situated in his wheelchair, he grasped Brooke’s wrist before she could move too far away.
“Where is your good-for-nothing brother, Marlene?”
Brooke looked at her grandmother, who was no help at all. She was fussing with a blanket she placed over his legs and refused to look at either one of them.
“I don’t know, Daddy,” she said, playing along. It was better to not upset him by pointing out she wasn’t really his daughter.
“Why were you trying to get out of the chair, Henry?” her grandmother asked as she took a step away from them.
The change of subject wasn’t subtle, but Brooke let it go. She would find out the story about them and her father sooner or later.
“Who are you?” he asked. “I don’t know you. Where is Peggy?”
“I’m here to help you, Henry,” her grandmother said with no emotion, causing Brooke to wonder what it took for her to deal with him in his current state. “Now why were you trying to get out of your chair?”
“I’m supposed to go hunting with John Swift, damn it,” he said. “I need to get my guns ready before he gets here.”
Her grandmother finally looked at Brooke and motioned for her to leave the room. She did, and her grandmother followed her.
“Go next door and get Logan. Tell her what’s happening. When he’s like this he always thinks she’s her father and it calms him down.”
Brooke nodded and ran next door. She knocked loudly before ringing the doorbell three times and knocking again. Logan’s car was out front, so she had to be there. She started to knock again but was stopped mid-knock when the door flew open.
“Jesus, what’s the emergency?” Logan asked in obvious exasperation. Her expression softened immediately when she met Brooke’s eyes, but she apparently saw the worry there because she turned serious quickly. “What’s wrong?”
Brooke told her everything that happened, and Logan jumped the railing separating the two porches and walked right into the house. Her grandmother met them and took them down the hall.
“Henry, John’s here,” her grandmother said before stepping aside and allowing Logan to walk into the room. She placed a hand on Brooke’s arm to stop her in the doorway where they watched in silence.
“I hear you aren’t ready to go yet, Henry,” Logan said, her voice a little lower than it normally was. Brooke watched in amazement as her grandfather’s face relaxed.
“John, I don’t know why these people won’t let me have my shotguns,” her grandfather said, his voice barely above a whisper. “They know it’s hunting season, and you and I always go out every weekend.”
Logan turned his chair so he was facing the bed and she sat in front of him. Brooke couldn’t imagine why Logan could calm him down and not her grandmother, but she was willing to try anything because she was having a difficult time seeing him this way.
“Henry, the deer will still be there tomorrow, you know,” Logan said. Her grandfather nodded, but he looked disappointed. “I’ve got a funeral to attend to this afternoon, so we’ll go first thing in the morning, all right?”
&nb
sp; He nodded.
“Marlene,” he said, motioning to Brooke to come over to him. “You’ll have my guns ready for tomorrow, won’t you?”
Brooke glanced at Logan, who nodded once, before replying, “Yes, Daddy. Of course I will.”
“Good girl.”
“I’ll see you bright and early then, Henry,” Logan said as she got to her feet. She leaned down so he thought what she was saying was just between the two of them. “You don’t give these ladies any grief, you hear me? They love you, and they only want what’s best for you.”
Her grandfather agreed but didn’t look happy about it. The three of them got him into the bed before they returned to the kitchen where her grandmother fixed Logan a cup of coffee.
“Thank you, Logan,” Brooke said.
“No problem. I’m just glad I could help.”
“Does this happen often?” Brooke asked. When her grandmother wouldn’t look at her, she turned her attention back to Logan. She knew her exasperation was evident, but she tried to sound unaffected by the events of the morning. “It hasn’t happened since I moved in here.”
“Actually, I think it occurred more often before you arrived,” Logan said with an agreeing grunt and nod from her grandmother. “The first time it happened, my dad was out of town at a seminar, and Peggy called me at the funeral home to ask for my help. When I got here, Henry thought I was my father, and I was able to talk him through the worst of it. After that, it didn’t matter if it was me or my dad because when he’s in this state, he thinks we’re the same person.”
“Peggy!” her grandfather called from down the hallway. Her grandmother placed a hand on each of their shoulders before taking a deep breath and going to see what he wanted.
“I’m not sure how she deals with it,” Brooke said quietly.
“It’s not easy, I’m sure.” Logan covered Brooke’s hand with her own on top of the table, and Brooke didn’t move away. “But the good news? He’s himself again now.”
“How do you know?”
“He called for her. When he’s having an episode, he doesn’t know who she is and he doesn’t always remember he’s married.”
Trusting Tomorrow Page 9
