by Shae Mills
Korba felt his insides twist at Stose’s observation. “Shanna—she is nursing properly?”
“Oh yes, my Lord. I have checked her mouth and tongue position many times. It is her metabolism. She nurses long and frequently. If she were a baby of Calley, Chelan would probably be okay.”
Korba looked to the ceiling and drew in a deep breath. “Enduring the pregnancy and the birth was enough. Now to go through this...”
Marri watched the Emperor, noting that rarely, if ever, had she seen the man this pained. In the past, no matter what the war, what the devastation, what the toll, nothing seemed to gut the hardened Warlord, but the mental and physical agony born by Chelan brought him to his knees.
Marri looked down, a veil of melancholy suddenly descending upon her. Then her muscles stiffened. If only Korba had cared for her even a fraction as deeply as he did the little alien, her life would have been perfection. Fighting by the man’s side was honor enough, but to be his mate, to be able to share every part of herself with him, and he in return...
“Marri?”
His voice brought her back to the present. “I am sorry. Um... I am sorry, my Lord, about everything. I do not like to see you like this.”
Korba straightened and his eyes narrowed. “Like what?”
Marri sighed. “Do not try to hide anything from me. We go back decades. The only thing that devastates you like this is Chelan.”
He studied the warrior closely. “No man or woman wants to see their mate suffer so. In this area, I am no different.”
“She is still your weak spot.”
Korba hesitated, his senses heightening. “She is only my weak spot if I leave her vulnerable.”
“That is not true. Right now, she is far from vulnerable to anything other than some discomfort, and you have been significantly impaired.”
Korba had to suppress a sudden surge of rage. “By whose standard?” He took a menacing step toward the warrior. “And by what measure? Do you care to challenge me and find out firsthand how impaired I am?”
“Do not even bother to tempt me. You know I am right.” And she watched as ever so subtle body cues only she could detect from knowing the man so well betrayed the truth of her words. Then she felt her head spin as she seized upon an unexpected opportunity, realizing that what she was about to say and do could cost her her life. She had been genuine with the Lady Chelan, for she truly wanted to do whatever she could for Korba’s child. To nurse his baby was beyond all expectations. But now her past caught up with her, her undying love for the great black-haired Warlord consuming her once again beyond the point of all judicial thought. Suddenly she found she could not quell the ache deep inside of her, the ache that yearned to be filled so desperately, by him, and only him.
She closed her eyes, the struggle within her nearly suffocating her. She hated what she was about to do, but the chances of reward were far too great not to proceed.
Korba became concerned by the long silence. He stepped forward, touching the still woman on the shoulder. His voice was a low rumble. “Marri? Speak to me. Are you having second thoughts?”
Her eyes snapped open. “No, my Lord, but there is something I would like from you in return.”
Korba withdrew his hands from her with a snap. “Speak,” he demanded.
She squared her shoulders. “I want... I want us, now, just once.”
Korba bristled. “You dare to extract payment?”
Marri felt bile rise in her throat. “No, my Lord. I offered my services to Chelan genuinely. It is just, now that...”
His voice lowered to a dangerous growl. “That what?”
Marri recognized his tone and swallowed hard. “It is just that I offer myself to you and your family for the taking. I forfeit the military once again for a child she has borne. And more than anything, you know how much I have always loved you. Is one time so much to ask?”
Korba took a step back. “I am hers and hers alone.”
“By whose ordination?”
“By my own!” he barked.
Marri chewed at her lip, suddenly hurt beyond imagination.
She whirled away from him, but Korba grabbed her. “What do you intend?”
“To rethink my offer.”
Korba jerked her to him. “You dare to threaten me with blackmail?”
Marri lost all sense of caution, her voice laced with venom. “I threaten nothing of the kind. I have a life too. I have spent these past few years in your service willingly caring for Jason. I am not so sure I want to spend at least another year suckling your child, the child that should have been ours long ago!”
Korba stepped back from her again. “In addition to issuing an ultimatum, you demand my betrayal!”
Marri stood strong. “You betray no one by Iceanean law. One time—is that so distasteful? Give yourself to me once, and I heal your lady.”
Korba became very still. “I could order others to replace you.”
“She would not accept them, and you know it.”
Korba ground his jaw. “You will not accept one time, Marri. You have sought me for more years than I can count.”
“Just as you are true to your words, I will be true to mine.”
Korba’s eyes flared, his instinct to kill the threat before him igniting. By Iceanean law and culture, a Let implied no fidelity. And in their years together with Chelan, he had allowed Chelan to lie with Fremma and Dar. But he himself had never adhered to Iceanean dictates, and he had promised her his faithfulness. Even during his five years on the outskirts of the galaxy, never once had he strayed, not even in the beginning while living in close confines with Marri. But he also knew how desperately Chelan needed help. And that desperation now clouded his senses. By even standing here listening to Marri’s ultimatum, giving it credence, he knew he was digesting the true depth of Chelan’s plight.
He whirled around in a flurry of black, his fists clenching as he struggled for calm and rationality. Then he turned and strode up to Marri, jamming his finger into her chest. “I will punish you for this.”
Marri raised her chin defiantly. “You can do nothing to me until I am finished with your child and Chelan is well. And you know it.”
All the air seemed to be sucked from the room at once, and Korba’s chest expanded in a desperate attempt to get enough oxygen. His voice was an ominous hiss. “I will find another and convince Chelan to accept her, and then I will banish you to the ends of the galaxy, permanently.”
Marri stepped back from him. “And how long will it be before she agrees to another? How long before infections begin to ravage her body?”
Korba lunged at the warrior, grabbed her by the neck, and rammed her up against the wall. He was deranged. “She is in pain and infection threatens! She has no reserves upon which to draw, and because of her past misery, she has chosen to accept help only from you! It is because of this I do what I am about to do. It is out of no feelings for you whatsoever.”
He was struggling with every fiber of his being not to squeeze the life from her. “All that I have felt for you in the past is now obliterated. You leave me no choice but to give myself to you even though you know damn well it will kill her outright if she ever finds out, and in the process you tear my heart from my chest.” With a jerk he released her, the mere touch of her flesh upon his hands suddenly revolting.
Marri could barely catch her breath. Her eyes watered at the venom in his voice. The fury she saw in him cut her like a knife. Then, without warning, she lashed out and slapped him as hard as she could. “How dare you threaten me!” she shouted.
Korba rubbed a hand along his stinging jaw, his rage fully fledged. “How dare I threaten you?! What choice have you left me?”
“She takes away your choice by her stubborn allegiance to her Calley values!”
“She is beyond making choices right now! And you offered your help falsely!”
“That is not true! I merely want a part of you. For once, damn it, give yourself to someone else.�
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“I give myself to whom I want! I do not lie with everyone who desires it! I never have.”
“Bullshit! You bedded half the galaxy after Sabina!”
“I slept with whom I pleased after Sabina!” he boomed. “And when I had had my fill, I slept with no one!”
Marri panted for air as her bluster failed her. “Am I so distasteful, my Lord?”
Korba ground his teeth. “Until now, no.”
Marri’s shoulders slumped. “Get out,” she whispered.
“You do not order me!”
“Get out!” she shouted.
“Not until you have lived up to your part of the bargain!” And he seized her roughly, twisting around and tossing her violently upon the bed.
Marri struck out at him with a well-trained foot, but Korba blocked her easily. He lunged for her, pinning her with his weight. She grabbed his hair and tried to pull him off her, but he was far too strong. Then she felt his hand reach for her pants and she gasped as he tore them from her. “Not like this,” she pleaded.
Korba restrained her arms above her head, his chest heaving. “How did you expect it to be, Marri? Did you expect me to share a drink with you, to taste of you and indulge myself in your depths for hours while my one true love wastes away in pain, waiting for me with my child, in my bed?”
Marri tried to kick out from under him, but it was impossible. Then she stopped, her hurt turning to rage. “Very well, you will have it rough.” And she kissed his lips with a desperation and fury that crushed them.
Korba drew back, his hand grasping her uniform above her breasts. Then he ripped it open. He looked down at her heaving chest as his fingers crawled up her flesh to her neck. There he grasped her tightly, and squeezed.
“My Lord,” she croaked.
“Promise me you will help her,” he growled.
Marri nodded her head frantically. “I will, my Lord. You have my word.”
He took several moments to gather himself together. Then he released her and lurched away from her, sinking to his knees on the floor.
Marri sat up and watched him wrestle with his emotions. Finally, he began removing his shroud, slowly, his searing gaze holding hers. And suddenly her heart bled. She clutched her tattered uniform to her breasts.
“I release you,” she whispered.
Korba let the shroud drop and then remained very still. Marri’s eyes flooded, and she looked up at the ceiling. “I am so sorry, my Lord. I saw an opportunity. I took it no matter the cost. Now I beg your forgiveness.” She peered down at him. “I have always wanted you so desperately. But most of all, I have wanted your heart. And I know that will always belong completely to another. I would be making love to an empty shell, and that is not what I desire.”
Korba clenched his jaw, his breathing erratic. “You know I have always cared. But you know this is wrong. You know what it does to me.”
Marri nodded, defeat infusing her very soul. “I grasped at a dream when I knew you were vulnerable.” She took tattered breath and felt her hot tears spill down her cheeks. “And now I once again feel the true strength of your devotion. You were willing to sacrifice all for her, including your body. No one save me knows what that says about your love for her.”
Korba watched as the bronze beauty stood and moved off to the en suite. He rose and stared at her as she stripped off the remains of her uniform. Then she turned and faced him, naked. “I will remain true too, my Lord.”
Korba took a step toward her, but she stepped back from him and hugged herself. “Go to your woman.”
Korba capped off the tempest within him. “Is there anything else I can offer you?”
Marri turned her head to the side and stared at the wall. “No, my Lord, I think not.”
Korba studied her for a long time. “I am sorry.”
She continued to avert her eyes. “I know. So am I.”
Korba looked down and then turned away. He picked up his shroud, and left.
Marri immediately hunched over and cried. Once again he was torn from her, and once again she was desperately heartbroken. But this time she knew she had severed all intimate ties with him. She had made a huge mistake, one from which there was no hope of recovery. He was her Commander for all time, and nothing more.
KORBA SKIPPED MEETING with his men and returned immediately to the private Command Center. There he slumped into the main chair, utterly drained. He stared at the blank screens, his emotions spent. Then he flinched, startled by the hand that touched his shoulder. He looked up into Chelan’s eyes, and he forced a smile.
She smiled back and then sat in the chair across from him. “Want to talk about it?” she whispered.
Korba became very still. “Talk about what?”
Chelan took a deep breath. “About Marri.”
Korba’s voice caught. “I...”
Chelan shook her head. “I know you did not make it to the meeting with the Commanders. If you had, you would not be back here so soon.”
Korba was mute. Chelan smiled again. “It does not take one very bright to figure out what she asked of you.”
Korba felt as though he had been punched, but Chelan appeared calm, her gaze mellow.
“I know how desperate and vulnerable you are right now,” she whispered. “Marri has betrayed me, and now you must not. All I want is the truth.”
Korba slid off his chair to his knees before her. Then he laid his head in her lap. “I almost gave her what she wanted. If she herself had not retreated, I would have...”
Chelan’s hands entangled in his hair. “You would have what, my Lord? Made love to her?”
Korba hugged her legs tight. “I have only made love to women in my past, a mutually agreed-upon bonding, love notwithstanding. This would have been...”
Chelan raised his face and looked deep within his grievous eyes. “I know this is hard, but you need to splay your feelings out before me. That way I can help you in any way that you may need, just as you have always been there for me.”
“I have never ever contemplated rape, my Lady. But what I would have done to Marri would have been no less violent.”
“I would have understood if you had taken her. And I know that anything you may have participated in with her would have been done out of duty shrouded by a cloud of desperation. Nothing that transpired would have occurred because of a love for her or would have been enacted out of a deliberate betrayal of me. I would have understood.”
He shook his head slowly. “You should have never been put in a position where you were forced to understand.”
“And you should have never been put in that position either. But I also understand what Marri tried to do. And I am sorry that because of my situation I forced you into something you had little control over. I have put you through so much.”
Korba sat back on his heels. He stared into her fawn-like eyes. “By comparison to all that has happened, you have put me through nothing.”
Chelan smiled. “You know that is not true.”
Korba studied her, adoration blooming within his heart. “You are a confident and beautiful woman, my Lady—so forgiving considering all that has transpired over the years, and especially because of what I just about surrendered myself to.”
Chelan shrugged. “You were not at fault here. Marri put you in an untenable situation at a time when both you and I were vulnerable. Regardless, in the end, nothing came of it.” She paused. “But I do know you kissed her.”
Korba’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t understand. How do you...”
Chelan’s brows rose. “Well, either you kissed her hard or she slapped you hard. Your lip is split.”
Korba felt for the tiny wound that had not even registered to him. Then he looked up into Chelan’s eyes, bemusement tinging them. “Actually, it was both,” he confessed.
Chelan leaned forward and kissed him tenderly. “There—all better?”
Korba melted. “Oh god, I love you so much!” And he stood, scooping her up into his
arms. He kissed her deeply and passionately. Then he let her feet touch the floor as his hand brushed over her cheek, his fingers tracing down her neck and to her heavy breasts. “Now that that particular disaster has been averted, what do we do about you?”
Chelan sighed and glanced down at herself. “I do not know, my Lord. My support has kind of been kicked out from under me.”
Korba traced her soft pink lips. “It does not have to be.”
“What do you mean?”
“Marri is remaining true to her word. Despite our falling out, she still wants to help.”
“Wants to, or you ordered her?”
“Wants to. She was genuine before thoughts of me befogged her judgment.”
Chelan glanced away momentarily. “You trust her still?”
Korba nodded. “I always have. She is my best, and look what she has done for Jason.”
“But this is your child.”
“I trust her even more because of that. She will care for Shanna all the more because Shanna is mine. And Marri well knows the fate that would be hers if she were to tamper with my flesh and blood in any manner.”
Chelan nodded. “Then I have faith in your decision.”
Korba hesitated. “After what happened, I do not want you infused with even more anxiety. Will you be able to trust her?”
Chelan smirked. “We will see what the candor is between us next we meet.”
Korba hugged her close. “It is up to you, my Lady, if you wish to continue with her or not.” Then he peered down at her. “You know, if you decide you cannot tolerate her presence at any moment, you could order her away.”
Chelan smiled. “If I did not wish her to be around either of us, what else would I do with her?”
“Well, as Empress, you could do anything you wish. But for your peace of mind, I would suggest that whatever your chosen fate for her, let another carry out your orders. You do not need any more trauma.”
Chelan grinned. “You think I might run her through for trying to lie with my man?”
