It took some time to restore order, but finally everyone was reseated and I’d had a little time to explain enough to my parents to get us through the moment. Josie and Smitty backed up to the rear of the church and the organ started again. The priest, Gus and I took our places and the bridesmaids resumed their procession.
From that point forward, everything went exactly as planned and much faster than I’d expected. A pair of “I do’s”, a juicy kiss, and the daring deed was done. We were Mr. and Mrs. Casey Alton.
In the lobby of the church, we kissed, hugged, and shook hands with all our guests. After that Smitty drove us to the reception. He was at once exuberant and relieved. He’d been expecting the worst and received the best. His daughter married and his enemy vanquished in front of his friends and in church.
Toward the end of the reception, amidst champagne bubbles and many toasts, Smitty got up and proposed his own toast.
“Casey, in spite of the terrible first impression you made on me, I’ve come to like and respect you. I’d like to welcome you into my family. I just wish Josie’s mother and our good friend Red were here to welcome you too. The past few weeks have been tumultuous to say the least . Now, to make this wedding completely legal, I have two all-expense-paid tickets to Hawaii, plus a check for two thousand dollars for your honeymoon. And, a word of warning. You better take damn good care of both Josie and my boat. Here’re the tickets, you leave tomorrow morning! Aloha!”
I turned to Josie, “Did you know about this?”
“Sure did, partner.”
Together, we gave Smitty a big hug.
More toasts and more champagne, then someone said it was time to cut the cake.
We each had our pieces. Josie squared off and said, “If you dare smash that cake on my face, I’m gonna kill you.” I was no fool. I took a big bite. While I was chewing it, licking my lips in appreciation and grinning like the happy fool I was, she smashed her cake on my face.
I asked her if this what our marriage was gonna be like. She said, “Wouldn’t you like to know,” and laughed.
CHAPTER 86
So, that’s what happened. The guy who’d hired me to deliver his boat, dead. Red killed. A young guy killed on Smitty’s boat. Carpenter assassinated. The senator headed for prison, his reputation destroyed. Josie and me married. My mom and dad in-laws with a notorious motorcycle gang chief. TheJezebel almost completely destroyed. Sergeant Horning’s career destroyed. All because two little numbers had gotten smudged on a piece of paper.
The adventure ended, but the story went on. When we returned from the honeymoon, we went to work on theJezebel in earnest. Six months later, she was back in the water, rigging all installed and a thing of beauty.
Another thing of beauty by that time was Josie’s belly. Three months pregnant and showing. I was tickled, Josie was tickled, my mom and dad were tickled, and Smitty was way more than tickled. I’d made a start on going back to college, majoring in Oceanography.
Smitty was so pleased, he bought us a sailboat. Actually, not just any sailboat – he somehow managed to find the boat that’d started the whole thing, the one I’d ferried up from San Diego. No one claimed it, so the city sold it at auction. He bid for it and got it. Not huge, but big enough. And the boatyard where we did most of the rebuilding on Smitty’s boat offered me a good-paying, part-time job so I could go to college. Everything was rosy.
One afternoon Gus called and said the guys felt kinda’ bad that they’d never had time to throw a real bachelor’s party for me.
I was immediately reminded of what Gus had about how lucky I was to have avoided the gang’s traditional bachelor party.
“Tell the guys how much I appreciate the gesture but it really isn’t necessary.”
“Yes it is” he assured me. “It’s a tradition. It’s on for tomorrow night. Seven o’clock at the Seaside Inn. Be there!”
“Aw, c’mon, Gus. Do we really have to do this? Josie’s got a special dinner planned for tomorrow.”
“Quit weaseling,” Gus said. “We’ve already cleared it with Josie.”
Seeming to have no choice in the matter, and seeing that Josie was complicit in the trap, I gave up.
They’d reserved a private room big enough for the whole gang. And they were all there, more than thirty of them. In addition, Chief O’Meara and Little George showed up. I was particularly glad to see the chief there – hoping his presence might tone down the proceedings a little.
And as it turned out, it was a great party. An open bar, cocktail waitresses, canapés – they even had entertainment in the form of a three-piece swing band. No tuxes this time, just casual biker wear. In terms of what I’d been expecting– dreading?– the event was fairly tame. All thirty-plus tried their damnedest to get me drunk. I lost track of the number of drinks I surreptitiously dumped into the potted plants, but I imagine most of the gang woke up the next morning feeling pretty grim.
Finally dinner was served, but the drinking continued. At the end of the dinner, Gus stood up and made a little speech.
“My dear friend Casey! I hate to bring it up, but I’ve got a list – apartial list – of your very serious and very numerous transgressions in the short time we’ve known you,” Oh boy, I thought, here it comes.” he continued “You caused Smitty’s boat to be bombed. You made us waste a lot of time in Sacramento. You almost got Smitty’s house invaded. You got us mixed up with a blackmailer and a murderer. You got us mixed up with a dirty, dishonest senator. You got Smitty under suspicion for murder. We had to rescue you from being kidnapped. The fact is – you’ve been a hell of a lot of trouble to us.”
“Hear, hear!” from the gang.
“Now then, young man. We were pretty willing to forgive you for being such a problem, but then you committed something so vile, so intolerable, so offensive, so unforgivable, we feel we have to punish you with something you’ll have to live with the rest of your life!”
A small spattering of applause.
“Do you have any idea what terrible thing is you did?”
I had a suspicion but I went along with gag. “No, sir?”
Gus turned to the gathering and said, “Do you?”
In unison and well rehearsed, they boomed out, “YOU STOLE OUR JOSIE!”
Then Gus added, “And on top of that, you got her pregnant! How can we ever forgive you? Do you have any thing to say in your defense?”
“I didn’t know what I was doing?”
One of the guys called out, “When you got married or when you got her pregnant?”
“Maybe neither? Or maybe both?”
Everyone enjoyed a laugh at my expense. I acted hurt. Then Gus said, “Okay. On to the punishment phase of the evening. Do you, Casey, realize that none of this would have happened and we’d still have our Josie, if you hadn’t made one little slip?”
“One little slip?”
From the audience: “Yeah, you slipped up.”
Another: “You slipped into the wrong slip!”
And: “You’re on a slippery slope!”
Yet another: “What can you expect from such a little slip of a guy?”
And: “His navigating must be slipshod.”
Then: “You slipped up when you slept with Josie!”
That one got both laughs and boos.
Gus quieted the room down and asked, “Would you like to know what your punishment is?”
“Do I have a choice?”
“Nope.”
And with that he signaled one of the guys to bring a large, wrapped package to the front of the room. It looked like a fairly large painting, two feet tall and maybe six feet long. They plunked it down in front of me and told me to unwrap it.
I took my good time unwrapping it as slowly as was physically possible. The back was exposed first. Turning it over, I saw it was a very professionally rendered hand carved wooden sign in bright yellows and oranges.
In large letters, it said, CASEY’S SLIP.
“That sign’s going u
p over slip number 7,” Gus said. “That’s the slip you weresupposedto slip into when you slipped up, and from this day on, it’syour slip. Maybe with this sign you’ll be able to find the right slip. And, it’s gonna stay there forever, my friend!”
Gee, I’m famous! Or is it infamous?
They wanted me to make a speech. I told them I was overwhelmed, and had no doubt that I would be forever blessed – or forever cursed – by that sign. I also said that Josie and I were trying to figure a way to use Smitty as a first name for either a boy or a girl.
Then turning back to Gus, I thanked him for all his help and told him that as much as Josie adored him, there was no way we were gonna name any kid of ours Gus.
That got a lot of laughs. Then the party gradually broke up.
Smitty, who’d been pretty quiet during the evening, gave me a big hug as we were leaving. I felt pretty sober and offered to drive him home. He looked a little bombed and he accepted. On the way, he told me again how proud he was of me and hoped I wasn’t offended by the sign.
“Offended? Hell, no! I’ll be able to show that sign to our kids and tell them the whole story, over and over and over again. ‘Casey’s Slip!’ I love it!”
But the final icing on the cake for Smitty didn’t occur until a few days later.
That was the day when the Oakland police department officially stripped Horning of his badge. They cited numerous crimes against citizens, along with his obvious bias and dishonesty. Bottom line: they said he let his own personal feelings influence and interfere with his performance in the murder case on my boat. Horning’s days as a corrupt policeman were over.
Several of Oakland’s finest went out of their way to drop by the warehouse over the following days and tell Smitty how glad they were to see the last of Horning.
“You weren’t the only one he was a pain in the ass to,” they said. One of them wanted to know how in hell Smitty got the Oakland and El Cerrito chiefs to work with him.
“Ask Casey,” he said, and ducked out.
“I’ll never tell,” I thought to myself. And I never did, until now.
END.
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