by K. B. Jacobs
The only downside to the last few days had been this phone call hanging over my head. I needed to call Detective Degrassi back, but every time I thought back to the point in my life he represented, the memories left an oil slick of anxiety and self-loathing coating me. Even discussing my parents made me feel dirty down to the very heart of my soul.
But according to Damian, Degrassi had called again, so I couldn’t put him off any longer.
My hotel suite was on the top floor of the hotel. It was an over-the-top, two-story space with a loft bedroom that looked out over the living room. I stood at that high, wood railing and viewed the sweeping, snowy mountain vistas provided by the floor-to-ceiling windows. I tried to let the sense of peace that normally flowed through me when I looked at these mountains settle, but it wasn’t happening.
I sighed deep, squared my shoulders, opened my phone contacts to where I’d stored Brad Degrassi’s phone number, and dialed.
“Detective Degrassi,” he answered. His voice was dark and grumbly just like I remembered it. Detective Degrassi had scared the shit out of me when I was fifteen. He wasn’t a man who smiled, and just by looking at him and that deep scowl of his, I had known I was in deep shit.
“Detective Degrassi, this is Walsh Bra...Davidson,” I corrected, reverting back to the surname I’d had until I was old enough to change it. “My business partner says you’ve been trying to get a hold of me.”
“You’re a difficult man to reach,” he said with censure in his voice. This man had never liked me.
“I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get back to you. I’m away on a business trip.”
“Yes, your business partner mentioned that. I was surprised you’d changed your name. Your file didn’t mention it.”
“Conrad and I had decided that would be best.” The mention of my foster father made my stomach clench. Even years after his death, I missed the man like I would an amputated limb.
At his recommendation, as soon as I turned eighteen and could legally do so without my parents’ approval, I had changed my last name. I didn’t want my parents or the media to ever be able to track me down again without my knowledge.
“I was surprised you weren’t at Conrad’s funeral.” Degrassi was digging, and he knew right where to hit so it would hurt.
Mission achieved. Conrad’s death and my grief over not being there led to the worst mistake of my life, and every time I thought about either event it hurt. “No, I was deployed overseas and out of communications range when he died. I hated that I couldn’t be there for Jeannie.” I owed Jeannie and Conrad everything, and when she had needed my support, I hadn’t been available, not that she’d ever blamed me for that.
I had just gotten back to our forward operating base after being out in the field for over two weeks when I had gotten the news. Because he’d been my foster father, I didn’t get a Red Cross notification like if he had been a family member who’d passed, even though Conrad Sheridan had been more of a father to me than my real father could ever dream of being.
But I’d been devastated and stupid after hearing about his loss. I’d needed to blow off some steam and was fucking around during a flag football game, showing off for a girl because I wanted in her panties. I had just wanted to not feel that deep, soul-shredding grief for a little bit.
I had fallen wrong and had to be medevac’d out because I had broken my ankle in three places. The next day, the squad had taken an IED to their MRAP. Would that have happened if I’d been there? I’d like to think not, but regardless I should have been there with them when they went through it. For four of them, it had been the last day of their life. For Damian, it had been the worst day of his life. And I wasn’t there, where my responsibilities lay, because I’d been stupid and selfish.
And I’d spent the last three years trying to make up for that.
But I didn’t mention any of this to Detective Degrassi. No, instead I worked to maintain my outward calm. “So, what can I do for you, Detective?”
“Conrad had always kept you in the loop when something happened with your parents, so I wanted to make sure you knew they’re up for parole.”
“No, I didn’t know.” Ice settled in my veins. Because of the severity of their treatment of me, and the two-page list of charges levied against them, they’d both received a sentence of no-less-than twenty-five years in prison. That wouldn’t have been possible if I hadn’t testified against them. That had only been ten years ago. There was no way they should be up for parole yet. “They still have another fifteen years. This doesn’t make any sense.”
“There are extenuating circumstances. Your father has been diagnosed with stage four liver cancer.”
I sank to the floor. I knew he’d been diagnosed with cirrhosis a few years back, but that hadn’t been a surprise. My dad had always been a booze and drug junkie. It was actually amazing he’d lived as long as he had with his lifestyle.
“Without your testimony against them at the parole hearing, the odds are good that they’ll be freed,” Degrassi continued. “Neither one of them has had any problems in prison.”
That was because their prime target for bullying had always been a kid. Even at the height of their cons, I had always been the one in harm’s way, not them. I was the face of the swindle, and the person the marks would remember. My parents weren’t stupid. They were cowards who’d bullied and tormented a small child. No, in prison, they would have ducked their heads and laid low. I knew how they operated.
But Conrad had given me my second chance when Brad Degrassi had been ready to toss me in jail right beside them. Did they deserve the same chance at a new life? What if they had changed? I could sit back and let the courts decide that without my input, or I could go and testify against them, probably condemning my father to a death behind bars.
Could I do that? While they had made my life hell, was it possible they regretted it? They both had tried to contact me over the years, but I’d always ignored the messages, not wanting to get pulled back into that place again.
Fuck. I rubbed at the back of my neck. I’d made so many mistakes. Who was I to cast stones?
Degrassi had kept quiet up to that point, letting me sort through it all in my mind. “No one would blame you if you just wanted to stick your head in the sand and pretend it wasn’t happening. But do you really want them free again? After all that they did to you?”
I gave a bitter laugh. “What? You’re on my side now? From what I remember, you wanted me to rot in jail just as much as you wanted them to.”
“You’re right. I thought you’d been too tainted by what they’d done with you—to you—for years. I thought you were rotten to the core. But you’ve overcome and surprised me. I’ll admit it. I was wrong about you. You’ve turned into a fine, upstanding person the community can be proud of. I’ve checked into what you do at GSC. Your military service was exemplary. You were a hero, and you honor other heroes in turn now.”
I was no hero. I was a fraud. I had learned well at my father’s knee...how to lie and con.
Guilt swamped me.
I asked, “When do I have to decide whether I’ll be there or not?”
“The hearing is in two weeks, so we’ve got a little time. Just give me a call soon.”
“Okay.” I hung up the phone and hung my head to my chest. What the hell should I do?
My parents had truly been awful people. I remembered the nights spent hurt, hungry, and terrified, cowering in the back of the closet, hoping they’d forget I existed. I’d lived that way for fifteen years.
I hated them for what they did to me with everything inside me, but was I truly any better, any different? I still spent my days lying, pretending to be Damian, leaving a little more of my soul blackened every day.
I wanted to be a better person. Here. With Lake. But I was already in so deep with this lie that my life had become. There was no digging my way out. Not anymore.
Hell, Damian didn’t even know the real me...Walsh Davidson. C
on man. Liar. Son of convicts.
This was why I hated to even think about my parents, but they’d just been shoved back into my life. No one knew me as that screw-up kid. If the truth came out, no one would ever look at me the same way again. Fuck.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Lake
The next day, I tugged at my jacket and tried not to squirm too much. Alex’s dress I wore was a little tight as I sat up straight in the uncomfortable wooden chair, but she and Melissa insisted it was perfect. Jacket on for the bank, and then jacket off for seduction. A pair of high heels, actual makeup, and I almost looked girly.
Andrew walked into his sleek bank office with a slim folder tucked under his arm. I’d known Andy since the second grade when my best at bat of the year resulted in his first black eye. He’d moved on from that trauma to become the lead loan officer at Aspenridge National Bank. I flashed him my best smile and forced my hands to lie still in my lap.
“Thanks for waiting, Lake.” He sat across from me and set the thin folder on his desk. “Aspenridge National Bank has been a long-time partner with Naked Brews, and we’re honored that you came to us for a new loan.”
“You guys were the only place that would give Dad his first start-up loan to move the business out of the garage. I’m looking forward to seeing where we can take the brewery next.”
Andrew looked down at the folder, and my heart clenched in my chest. Without this loan, it wouldn’t matter if I won every competition in the country. I needed the money, or Emily would sell Naked Brews without a second thought. Everything I wanted was inside that folder.
“Besides Pat’s cabin, do you have any other properties or resources that you didn’t include on your application? Maybe a savings account or CD at another bank?”
I shook my head. “Just the cabin, my Bronco, and the condo. And the brewery.”
“Except the brewery isn’t in your name, so we can’t use that. You still have over eighty percent remaining on your mortgage for the condo, and the Bronco isn’t really something we can consider.” Andrew opened the folder, but closed it again, not meeting my hopeful gaze. “I’m sorry, Lake. I tried, but the cabin isn’t worth what it used to be, and your own mortgage is working against you. Your request for a business loan has been denied.”
I sat in stunned silence while Andrew droned on about options in the future, but it was just background noise. It didn’t matter what I could qualify for next year. I needed the loan.
Standing up, I tugged at my too-short hemline, kicking myself for agreeing to this dress. There wouldn’t be any celebratory seduction now. More like polite begging to keep my job. “Thanks, Andrew. I have to go.”
Without waiting for him to say goodbye, I speed-walked out of the bank to my Bronco. She might not be worth much to the bank, but sliding into her leather seats was a bit like coming home. Dad and I spent years restoring the beat-up bucket of bolts to her current, shiny-red glory. Once GSC bought the brewery, she’d be all I had left of Dad.
Gunning the engine, I peeled off down Main Street. I had less than thirty days with Naked Brews, and I wanted to make the most of them. A light snow fell, dusting the trees and rooftops with satiny white powder. It wasn’t enough to keep people inside, and the streets were filled with tourists hopping from one specialty store to the next. Aspenridge offered something for everyone, from handmade candles and organic teas to custom snowboards and five-star dining. And a kick-ass brewery that I got to hold in my hand for a short bit of time. Maybe the town didn’t need Lake O’Brien anymore.
All through the drive to the brewery, my mood swung back and forth between furious and resigned. By the time I pulled into the gravel parking lot of Naked Brews, it had settled on seething fury. Mostly I hated Emily Ryan and everything she stood for, but the Mother Pod was off in St. Louis with her new family, so I couldn’t yell and scream at her. I pushed open the door to find a wet-headed Walsh sitting at the bar. He’d do.
“Hey, how’d it go at the bank?” Walsh set his coffee cup on the bar and walked over to me with a big smile on his face.
“How’d it go?” I threw my bag at the bar, nearly knocking Eric in the head as he set up for the lunch crowd. “Let’s just say you should be very pleased. There’s not a chance in hell I’ll be able to buy this place.” I flung my hands out to indicate the pub, the reality of my failure sinking down around me.
“You didn’t get the loan.” Walsh had the audacity to look sad about the news.
“Not even close. This place is worthless on paper, and if you weren’t here, Mother Dearest would probably just give it to me so she could be done with it.” I dug a finger into his chest, pushing him back a bit. “But you and your stupid charity had to come in and make her a huge offer, so now she believes it’s actually worth serious money. Serious money I don’t have.”
Walsh’s eyes darted around the room, but it was empty except the two of us and Eric. “Maybe we should talk about this in the office.”
“What’s there to talk about? You win. I lose. End of story.”
Walsh didn’t say anything. Just held a hand out toward the office like a fucking gentleman escorting me to prom.
“Whatever.” I marched past him and into the office, instantly feeling closed in by the tight space.
Walsh followed me in at a regular pace and shut the door behind him. I guess he didn’t want the whole brewery to hear me ranting like a lunatic. “Do you want to tell me what happened?”
I kicked my stupid red heels into the corner. They were useless to me now. “I told you. They denied me the loan, probably because I’m twenty-four, have nothing of any value to offer up as collateral, and the brewery isn’t worth the outrageous price you offered.”
“You’re worth it.” He paused and shook his head. “The brewery. It’s worth it.”
“Well, isn’t that special.” I took off my jacket and tossed it on one of the chairs with more force than necessary. “Too bad the bank doesn’t agree with you.”
“I could help you,” Walsh blurted out. “I could give you the money.”
I spun around to face him, and he looked just as shocked as I felt. Anger bubbled up in my gut, fueling the loathing I had for this man intent on destroying my life. Warmth spread up my neck as fire heated me from the inside out.
“What makes you think I need your help?” I spit the words out between clenched teeth.
“Lake, I don’t want to fight with you.”
“I’m not some damsel-in-distress princess sitting around waiting for a prince to jump down from his high horse and save the day with a wink and a smile.”
“Really?” His eyes flashed. “Because you’ve been nothing but a royal pain in my ass since the day I got here.” He took a step closer to me, anger flaring across his face.
“Ever consider the problem is you?” I took a step toward him to even the score, my voice louder than before. “Maybe I need a good break from that bitch, Karma.”
“Maybe you need a good fuck.”
Shock punched me in the stomach, and I narrowed my eyes at him, my chest filling with one part fury and two parts horny. Lust invaded my nerves, tingling under the surface with excitement and anticipation. “I just bet you’d like to be the one to give it to me.”
“Maybe I would.” His shout rang out through the office, echoing off the closed walls.
We both stood there, panting out our rage, seething like serpents about to attack.
He reached for me, his hands tangled into my hair, and I grabbed for the front of his shirt, undoing buttons as fast as my fingers could fly, while his mouth latched onto mine. I jerked his shirt open, running my hands everywhere I could reach, needing to touch, to feel. His muscles flexed under my palms, and my heartbeat ratcheted higher.
Walsh held my head tightly, pushing into my mouth and taking it over with his lips, teeth, and tongue. Bucking my hips against his, my body asked for more, and he delivered, reaching back and tugging down the zipper of my borrowed dress. Strong han
ds pulled down one of the straps, and he moaned when his fingers brushed against my exposed nipple.
I gasped at the wondrous zing of pleasure. Alex had insisted on no bra. God bless her.
Cool air blew against my exposed breasts, pebbling my nipples until Walsh’s warm hands claimed them for his own, massaging them in slow circles and teasing the hard peaks with his thumbs. His teeth nipped at my bottom lip seconds before his head dipped down, and he drew one swollen nipple into his mouth, tantalizing me with his talented tongue. His scruff scraped across the sensitive skin of my cleavage, leaving goosebumps in its wake.
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph on a donkey.” My back arched into him, craving each of his touches. All thoughts of bank loans washed away with each kiss and nip.
Walsh ran a hand up and under the short skirt of my dress, teasing at the thin wisp of the silky material of my panties underneath. “I want to taste all of you.”
Oh, god, I wanted that, too. But I’d already had too much disappointment today. I pushed against his shoulders until he stepped back and met my stare with lust-filled eyes.
“Don’t start what you don’t intend to finish.” The words panted out in time with my staccato heartbeat.
Walsh grabbed my ass, lifting me up and spinning me to sit on the desk. “Wild buffaloes couldn’t tear me away.” He brushed a soft, sweet, lingering kiss across my lips, leaving them tingling.
He bent down to his knees, peeled off my soaked panties, and spread my legs with warm, slightly calloused hands. I leaned back on my elbows as he ran hot kisses up the inside of my thighs. I arched into his touch, needing more. I wanted to grab his head and urge him on. Having him between my legs felt right, perfect.
“You smell so good,” he said, his voice rough and reverent.
“Stop teasing me,” I hissed out between loaded breaths.
Walsh looked up and saluted. “Yes, ma’am.”
He dove in, his mouth parting my nether lips and his tongue honing in on the sensitive bundle of nerves begging to be touched. I bit back a moan until he added two fingers to my tight core, and I lost all ability to control myself. His mouth worked magic on my clit in rhythm with his fingers thrusting in and out, hitting the spot inside that sent rivulets of pleasure coursing through my body until even my fingers tingled with sensation.
