“Okay.” I pressed my lips to his chest, feeling warm all over now that I was in his arms and had somewhat satisfied my curiosity with Andra. “It’s gonna be great, Six. I’ll teach her some self-defense, and she’ll be prepared for whatever happens. Just wait, you’ll see.”
“Where’s Griffin?”
“With your mom. She’s good.”
“Okay.” I felt him nod. “I can’t believe you’re here.”
“Me neither. Like I said, I saw the insides of enough gas station trash cans to last me the rest of my life.”
“And yet, you drove all this way.”
“I wanted to meet Andra,” I told him, trying not to feel hurt that she didn’t know who I was. “And since I’m being honest…” I tucked my face into his chest so he wouldn’t see it. “Why doesn’t she know who I am?”
He pulled me into a bedroom and let go of me, moving into the attached bathroom and splashing his face with cold water. “I don’t know, Mira. I don’t talk about my life with anyone. You know more than anyone else does.”
“And I have a feeling that I still don’t know everything.”
“But you will. I promise you will.” His voice was quick, and he seemed to be promising himself more than me. “I’m fucking tired. I hauled ass to get here. Andra texted me when you called, thought someone was breaking into the house.” He yanked off his shirt, and I admired his well-defined torso for a moment. “And then, to see you here. It’s a shock.”
“It’s okay. You’ll see.”
“I hope you’re right.”
I was right. The next morning, when Julian and Andra came in from playing in the surf, Six seemed genuinely surprised to see how light Andra was. There was a smile on her face that I gathered hadn’t been there before I’d brought Julian around. I was sitting on the countertop, eating an apple and observing Andra as Six spoke to her. When he informed her that I would be going in her stead to Michigan, which was the entire fucking reason I’d come, she seemed taken aback and protested.
“The last time you snuck in was sloppy.” Six pointed to the side of her face, where I could make out a faint scar. “Mira’s going to go with me this time.”
“Why?”
“Mira’s small.” Six looked at me, and I looked at her. She didn’t seem to know what to make of me. I’d known about her existence for years, but she was just learning of mine. “She’s done this with me before,” he explained.
“Breaking and entering?”
“Gathering intel,” Six corrected before I could nod affirmatively to her question. I guessed he used big words around Andra to make it sound less nefarious.
“Which requires breaking and entering,” Andra deadpanned, and I tried not to laugh. I was starting to like her; she stood her ground to Six.
“You don’t need to go back there,” Julian said to her.
“I can do it,” Andra insisted.
I hopped off the counter and walked up to Andra, picking up one of her weak-looking arms and jiggling it. “You’re weak.”
She yanked away from me. “No, I’m not,” she protested.
I debated for only a second before I spun her around and wrapped my arms around her. Though I was a few inches shorter than her, I had a good lock around her. “Try to escape,” I said.
I had to give it to her, she put up a good struggle. But my arms—though not incredibly muscular—still had an advantage over hers, and she soon gave up. Loosening my arms around her, I looked at Six, who watched us with interest.
“You are weak,” I told her. “And you give up really easily.” I moved to stand next to Six. “That’s one reason why I’m going and you’re not.”
Her cheeks, which were tanned, had a hint of pink in them. She crossed her arms and asked, “Am I just supposed to sit here, no big deal? And wait?”
I nodded. “Basically, yeah.”
“I’ll be here,” Julian said softly. But Andra was fueled by her embarrassment at that moment and she turned to me.
“Are you going to train me then?”
“That’s the plan,” Six finally spoke. “I want you to be prepared.” He motioned to me with a shrug of his shoulder. “Mira knows what she’s doing. She’ll train you.”
She didn’t want this, I could tell. But I hadn’t brought Julian all this way only to leave him while all three of us went to Michigan. After she argued with Six for a bit and realized it was a losing battle, she stomped up the stairs, Julian following.
Six turned to me. “You’re right. She needs more training.” He paused and waited for the low mechanical sound just above our heads. “Treadmill,” he explained. “She’s a great runner. But she has little muscle tone.”
“I’m not promising to make her a body builder,” I told Six. “But I can help her. Prepare her, just in case…” My voice trailed off. ‘Just in case’ wasn’t even plan B, it was plan Z. I knew Six worried that somehow Andra’s uncle would find her and even without the threat of Andra’s life hanging in the balance, there was still the matter of Six and his role in Andra’s disappearance as Cora, years earlier. Me breaking in and getting information was plan A, and there wasn’t room for any other option.
But it wouldn’t hurt to prepare Andra anyway, the way I’d prepared Brooke and so many others.
“Just in case,” Six said and looked upstairs. “I hope there’s no need for a just in case.”
“Me neither.” I wrapped my arms around his middle but couldn’t press myself fully against his back because my small stomach got in the way. It was one of the many little wonders of pregnancy, and how it was just beginning to show. “Baby’s getting in the way,” I said against his back.
He turned so he was facing me and after placing his hands on my shoulders, he moved them to the back of my head and rubbed them gently into my skin. “How are you doing?” he asked, and I knew he was talking about the baby.
“Fine. My nausea really only bothers me when I’m in the car. Otherwise, it’s a piece of cake.” My mouth watered. “Cake sounds really fucking good.”
“I can run to the store if you want, pick some up?”
“Like I’m gonna say no.” I leaned against him. It was weird, but welcome, being a part of a family with Six. Even with Andra and Julian running around under the same roof, it felt like we were a family of some kind. Not traditional, but the sense of community, with a shared goal, made this feel more solid and real than any other family I’d ever thought I’d have.
“Are you mad I came?” I asked him. It hadn’t even been a full twenty-four hours.
“I think that a part of me almost expected it. It’s not like I don’t know who you are. In the back of my head, when I sent you the photo of the house across the street, I think I had a feeling we’d be in this position.”
“I was surprised you did that. You never give me insight to your whereabouts.”
“Maybe,” he said, tilting my chin so my lips lifted to his, “subconsciously, I wanted you to come here, to be with me.”
I kissed him and then pulled away. “But you didn’t want me to meet Andra.”
“I don’t know why I kept you hidden from her. And even saying ‘hidden’ isn’t right, because I wasn’t hiding you. I didn’t lie about you. But it’s been about her and her well-being for so long, that everything else was only essential if it was essential to her.”
What he said made sense, but it didn’t exactly make me feel any better. Still, I wrapped my arms around him. “How about that cake?” I asked.
“As soon as you loosen those tentacles, I’ll be on my way.”
I raked my hands over his muscles. Despite how light his tone had been, he just felt tense. “What’s wrong?”
He forced himself to relax, I could feel his muscles softening under my hands.
“Come on,” I told him, nuzzling into his neck. “Tell me. What’s going on?”
He sighed, and the tension immediately hardened those muscles. “I don’t want Andra leaving this place. Her uncle is looking
for her, yes, but it’s more than that.” He pulled back and brushed his hand over my hair. “He’s ponied up for a private investigator to find Andra. I need to cool our plans for a bit, until things settle down. Which means we’ll be here longer than I thought we would be.”
“It’s fine. I don’t have any pressing plans.” I blinked, instantly remembering. “Oh, shit. Henry. I brought Griffin to your mom, but left Henry at home.”
He laughed, and it was almost one of relief for what it did to his tight muscles. “I’ll ask her to go by and give him one of those self-feeders that last a couple weeks or something.”
“I’m surprised I haven’t killed this fish yet,” I said. “It’s okay; if we have to be here a few weeks, then so be it. I’ll train her while you figure out the logistics.”
“It’s only a matter of time before the private investigator looks into me,” he said. “I was one of her mom’s only friends. But we have to time our break-in when things have cooled off a bit.”
“Which means the P.I. might find out about me.”
“Maybe.” He scratched his head. “I guess the upside to me keeping you from Andra is that I kept you from almost everyone except for my mom.”
It stung—I had to acknowledge that and then let it go. It stung that only his mom knew about me, but at least his mom was someone of high esteem to Six. “You’re right. So the P.I. won’t look for me unless your mom drops my name.”
“And she won’t. And the P.I. won’t get that far, either. I’ll make sure of it.”
I didn’t know how Six could possibly make sure of that, but he seemed confident. I mulled it over a bit as he got ready to go to the store, which was a trek from this small town.
I let him go, watched as he walked out the door, and then I went on the back patio to listen to the waves roll in.
35
I trained Andra one-on-one, over and over, pushing her more than I’d probably pushed anyone else. There was usually a kind of weakness around the people I normally trained. People who were fresh from trauma, who wore it as a bandage. But Andra, she wore her trauma as a badge. Not necessarily like she was proud of it, but that she’d moved past it, that’d she’d grown from it. Maybe to her, that badge didn’t define her, but it did to me.
Sometimes, I had to remember not to bark at her the way I’d bark at someone I was indifferent to. Not that I wasn’t indifferent to Andra. We weren’t best friends, by any means, but the few weeks I trained with her while Six set things up and readjusted our plan after my surprise arrival to the house had meant something to me. Brooke had been the last person I’d become any way attached to in any way, but—and I didn’t know if it was due to Six’s presence—I could see myself becoming attached to Andra. She wore strength without shoving it in your face. It wasn’t in her muscles—no, she was still weak there—but she wore it in her resolve, how she stood up to Six. I’d never seen anyone else stand up to him besides me. And I’d never seen him handle it as well as he did.
The day Six and I were to leave, Andra and I had one last training session. I pushed her harder than I ever had. Six and I had been keeping an eye on the news and we knew that we needed to make our move before her uncle made his.
“Focus, Andra.”
“Sorry,” she mumbled.
“Exhale as you punch, kick, jab.” I tried to knock her off balance with my foot, but she grabbed it and then let it down easy. Though I was working her hard, she was being much gentler with me. Something that annoyed me. Being pregnant didn’t make me weak.
“Breathe in and out through your nose,” I said, moving closer to her. “Keep your mouth closed and breathe in through your nose so you don’t waste precious energy.”
I aimed a fist for her, but she ducked at the last second. I was about to congratulate her until I saw her stop upon seeing my barely-swollen belly.
“And pay attention,” I growled, hitting her on her back and sending her to the sand. Granted, I probably hit her harder than necessary. But I didn’t want her to keep getting distracted.
She gasped, but I kept moving, advancing toward her.
“Roll away! You’re lucky I don’t want to fuck you up, because you’re in a very vulnerable position and I could have knocked you unconscious.”
She was heaving breaths and sat up, stopping all movement. “What’s your deal?”
“My deal?”
“Yeah. You’re not usually so…violent.” She hacked up a half a lung.
I was frustrated. It had been just shy of three weeks, but with our daily training, I’d expected more. From Andra and from me. “I’m leaving tonight,” I reminded her.
“I know that,” she replied, but waited for me to elaborate.
“You’re not ready.” I rolled my shoulders. “You’re still weak.”
“Ready for what?”
“To defend yourself. I’m a foot shorter than you, and I am kicking your ass, easily.”
She stood, for once doing the thing I always said she didn’t do—trying to show her strength instead of just wearing it. “I may not be as strong as you, but I can defend myself.”
“Prove it.” I raised an eyebrow.
She hesitated for only a second and then lunged.
I ducked and moved so we were still standing opposite. She lunged again, determination in her face, but I caught her arm in my hand and deflected her punch.
Swinging my leg out, I attempted to hook hers, but she moved just in time. She punched my hand, so I let go of her arm, but she kept moving toward me. I swung my arm, but she grabbed me around the waist.
Yes, this was what I’d been waiting for from her. The fight I knew she had within her.
I pushed against the pressure points on her head, but she rolled her knuckles against my ribs—the way I’d shown her to—and I grunted. Before I knew what was happening, she sent me sprawling to the sand at our feet.
And she didn’t stop. I tried to scoot so I could regain my footing, blood roaring all the while in my ears, but she got a hold of my ankle and flipped me to my stomach before she abruptly let go.
The sand had cushioned my stomach, so I wasn’t worried about it. I stood and turned to her. With a laugh, I said, “Not bad, Andra.”
She reached for me, and as she pulled me to standing, I yanked her so she was face-first in the sand.
“Always be on your guard, babe.”
She made a noise of annoyance as she stood. “Well, I wouldn’t reach an arm down to help an opponent I was fighting.”
“I would hope not. And besides,” I said, brushing the sand off my ass, “I meant be on your guard around me.”
“Noted.”
“Let’s go again,” I said, rolling my shoulders and stretching my neck.
We grappled for another hour until we were both on our backs on the sand, panting.
“This baby is a total energy sucker.” I panted and ran my hand over my stomach.
“I don’t even have that as an excuse.”
“Maybe one day you will. And then I can kick your ass once again.”
“Unlikely.”
“Which part is unlikely?” I asked. “The you having a kid part or that I’ll kick your ass?”
“The kid part.”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “You’re right, I’ll definitely kick your ass again in the future.”
Andra was silent for a minute, and I was nosey.
“Why no kids?” I blurted out.
Andra shrugged. “I don’t even know half of my DNA. I can’t think about kids.”
“Is it Julian?” I barely knew the guy, but he seemed quite smitten with Andra.
“Are we actually engaging in girl talk?” Andra asked, shock plain in her voice.
“Hormones have made me soft.” But it was mostly because I was nosey. “But don’t expect me to braid your hair or pillow fight.”
“I won’t. I bet you’d leave me black and blue in a pillow fight. And no, it’s not Julian.” Andra looked at the house. “I just don’t know i
f I have what it takes to be a mom.”
I laughed in her face. “Who does? It’s not a skill you develop until you become one. Do you really think I saw myself becoming a mother?”
“I don’t really know you that well. Did you want to be a mother?”
It was exactly the opposite of what I’d wanted, yet here I was. “I didn’t get pregnant on purpose, I’ll say that much. But I don’t regret it.” I thought of how Six’s eyes softened every time I caught him looking at the rounding of my belly. “Remember what I said, Andra. We all make choices in life, and some of them are scary ones.”
“I know you’re being really vague, but I think you’re telling me not to sit around and wait.”
“I’m not telling you what to do. I’m telling you to pursue what you want. We all have choices, but some are made for us. You still can choose to want something. I didn’t make the choice to become pregnant, but I want this. I’m going to be a mom.” I swallowed. “But what I am saying is even if something is scary, even if it hurts, if it’s what you want—go after it.” Andra didn’t need me to tell her what to do. But I had a feeling in the pit of my belly. A feeling that Andra needed someone to tell her it was okay if she didn’t sit around. If she took charge. Six wouldn’t be happy with me saying that, but it was what it was. “Remember what you want. Pursue it.”
“I’m trying. I want to go with you to Michigan.”
Shaking my head, I said, “No. This trip is research. What happens on this trip determines the course of action. You’re a fighter, I can tell. Remember that. Fight.” It was what Six had always told me. And maybe, just maybe, Andra needed to hear it too. I reached for her and she took my hand, coming to stand next to me. She immediately looked at my wrist, and I knew she’d felt my scars. I pulled away from her.
“Fight,” I mouthed, tugging the sleeve down over my wrist.
Julian made dinner like we were an actual family, and we all sat around to eat it. There existed a tension in the air that we all seemed to tiptoe around. Knowing that this might be the last time the four of us were together, I ate my fill and tried to pay as close attention to everything that I could. Six and I hadn’t made plans for me to come back to Oregon, but I knew I’d have to go home eventually. Especially to relieve Elaine of our monster dog.
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