by Karen Ferry
It’s ten a.m., so given what I know about her, Laura should be up by now, or maybe she sleeps in on Sundays?
“Fuck, just do it,” I mutter, annoyed with my fumbling.
I open my phone and quickly find her number.
Me: Morning, friend. How are you feeling?
I stretch as I wait for her reply. Yawning, I drum my fingers on my stomach. Then I fluff my pillow, trying to find a more comfortable position.
I glance at my screen, but am still met with silence.
Me: This is Kristian, by the way.
“Bollocks, how stupid can one guy be?”
Laura’s the cautious type. Maybe she doesn’t respond to texts from a number she doesn’t recognise.
I look at the ceiling, wondering if I should just get up. I don’t have a hangover, despite everything that happened last night, and after we sent the girls off, Alex and I went our separate ways. He seemed to be as lost in thoughts as I was. I wonder what’s up with him.
My pulse spikes when the phone vibrates in my hand and I swipe the screen to read her text.
Laura: I’m fine, thanks. How are you?
I can’t stop grinning. So polite.
Me: I’m good, just enjoying a lazy Sunday in bed. No hangover, then?
I should get up.
Laura: Thankfully, no. I don’t get hangovers.
My eyes shoot up in surprise.
Me: Never?
Laura: Nope. Lucky me.
Okay, this is going well. I can text a woman without sexting her. I can be a grown-up. Mature and everything.
Me: Very.
I yawn and rest my hand on my cock.
Laura: So, were you serious about finding another flat?
I raise my eyes in surprise. I didn’t see that one coming, and quickly text a reply.
Me: Absolutely.
Laura: Does it have to be in the city?
Me: Not really, as long as it’s not too far away. Why?
Laura: How good are you with your hands?
“What?” I bark out a laugh as I start to rub my cock. Warmth spreads through my body as it grows in my hand, and my breathing speeds up.
Me: Ooh, I’m very good with them.
I yelp as the phone starts to ring, and I chuckle when I see it’s Laura’s name flashing at me.
“Why don’t you let me show you how good I can be?” I murmur, my voice husky.
“Get your mind out of the gutter,” she laughs in my ear.
I grin. “Sorry, but I couldn’t resist—when a woman asks a man that? It’s usually about something sexual.”
“Not in this case, friend,” she says, her laughter dying down. “Actually, I had an idea this morning, but it might sound a bit loopy.”
“Loopy?” I quirk an eye at the unfamiliar word.
“Crazy, mad, bonkers,” she explains.
My lips twitch with amusement. “I’m intrigued. What did you have in mind?”
Patiently, I wait for her to answer, getting more and more curious with each second.
“Okay,” she starts. “The thing is that Mum and I are running ourselves thin at the moment, but we can’t afford to hire a stable hand. So, what if you move out from your aunt’s place and come live with us—work in exchange for food and board?”
I stop breathing for a moment as her words sink in, only listening with half an ear as she prattles on.
“I mean, I know you have your job at the tattoo shop,” Laura continues, “and we’re not looking for someone full-time. Just someone who can help fix things that are broken. This might be a great solution for all of us.”
Not sure I’m getting this right, I clear my throat before speaking.
“You want me to come live with you, your mum, and Ailith?” I ask.
“Well, not live with us in the house. I understand you want your privacy, and I totally respect that. But we have a small flat above the stables with its own toilet and bath. No one’s lived there for ages, though, so it probably needs some TLC,” she mutters the last bit.
I don’t know what to say.
“You don’t have to decide today, of course,” Laura hurries to say after I still haven’t replied. “Come out to see us when it suits you, take a look at the flat. Then, if you like it, we’ll go over the practicalities.”
“Okay, deal,” I croak. “I’ll see if I can borrow Lise’s Landrover today and come by this afternoon?”
“Sounds great. See you later.”
It’s hard not to be affected by the enthusiasm in her words, and despite my shock at her offer, I can’t deny I’m intrigued.
“See you.”
I put my phone on my abs and take a deep breath. At the thought of seeing Laura again so soon, my lips tip up, and my cock stirs.
Then, my smile freezes on the spot, and memories of last night flood my mind. I feel fucking stupid for shagging Hannah, and I still don’t know if Laura saw me.
Shit. She probably did.
Groaning, I push my sheets away and toss my phone on the floor. I put an arm underneath my pillow and look down at the semi I’m sporting.
Then I do something about it, imagining Laura’s full, pink lips sucking me off as I come.
Afterwards, I try to pass the time making some new drawings before it’s time to leave to go visit the ladies on the farm. I try to ignore the little voice in my head that keeps telling me that even the fantasy of Laura is so much better than all the other women I’ve fucked in the past.
I can’t think about that.
I can only remind myself, over and over again, about the label she’s put on me.
I’ve been well and truly friend zoned, and at this point, I doubt I’ll ever be anything else to her.
Laura
I’m reconsidering my idea to ask Kristian to move in on the farm. When I spoke with Mum about it this morning, and noticed the spark of interest in her eyes, I balked.
I’m not sure it’s a smart move.
Ailith’s excitement, however, was hard to ignore. She made fist pumps in the air and then hurried upstairs to change into her riding clothes.
I look down at the text he just sent me.
Kristian: I’ll see you in thirty minutes.
Nibbling on my lips, I shrug, resigned to the fact that it’s too late to tell him that I’ve changed my mind. The truth is, that we do need the extra help. I can’t let what happened between us last night—or his tryst with that girl—stand in the way of the fact that we run a business here. If Kristian is willing to move in, working in exchange for free rent, then I can’t let my personal feelings stand in the way of the business.
It’s not smart.
Still, it’s a good thing I stood my ground, keeping him in The New Friend Box. I could’ve given into him loads of times, and God knows I want to, but…no.
Never. Again.
“Stop fretting,” Mum says from behind me.
Sighing, I get up from my seat at the bench and start to clear the table.
“I’m not,” I mutter, frowning as I start to put everything in the dishwasher. “I’m just wondering if it was wrong of me to make a proposition like that without discussing it with you. That’s all.”
I glance at her and pause at the way she purses her lips as she looks out of the window.
“I don’t mind. The farm will go to you, and you have a good head on your shoulders. Sometimes, I feel like you know a whole lot more about what we need to keep our business afloat than I do. Still…”
I lean a hip on the counter as she turns a speculative look my way.
“What is it?”
“Well, he’s just an interesting choice, that’s all. I’m looking forward to getting to know him.”
I bite the inside of my cheek, shrugging lightly.
“Well, he may not want the flat, Mum. It is pretty rundown.”
“Something tells me that he doesn’t mind getting his hands dirty. That he comes from a place where he was taught early on that if he wanted to succeed in life
, he’d have to work for it.”
“How can you possibly know that? You’ve only been with him for ten minutes,” I scoff.
Her lips twitch as she takes a step closer and peers fondly into my eyes.
“I’m not blind, sweetheart. Plus, if there wasn’t something he’s after, I doubt he’d have agreed to come here today.”
I blink in surprise.
“What do you mean?”
She pats my hand.
“You’ll work it out yourself. I’ve got horses to tend to.”
With that, she leaves me alone and whistles to Sally, before they both head back outside. Bewildered, I watch the closed door for a long time, wondering if I’ve really put my foot in it now.
Then I finish loading the dishwasher and decide to go to the flat above the stables. It needs to be aired out.
Hearing my daughter’s feet trampling up the stairs to the flat, I blow out a shaky breath. After last night, I’m nervous to see Kristian again. It was so easy talking with him on the phone. Too easy.
“Mummy, Kristian’s here!” Ailith yells. I can’t keep a smile from my lips at the joy in her voice.
Her head comes into view, then the rest of her, as she reaches the landing. My heartbeat picks up at the sight of Kristian following behind her, an amused smile on his lips.
“Hello,” I breathe.
“Hi.”
Oh, gosh, he still looks devilishly handsome. He’s dressed all in black—black boots, black jeans, black T-shirt. His hair is pulled slightly back in a small man bun, and I feel a tingle set off in my tummy at the mere sight of him. Somehow, I’d hoped his sex appeal had disappeared overnight, but, as usual, I’m dead wrong. If anything, it’s even more apparent today.
Crap.
I turn in a half circle and try to see the flat through a stranger’s eyes. I think it’s better than I remembered, but I’m not exactly sure if he’ll feel the same.
“So, this is the castle, is it?” Kristian says, and I grin shyly at him.
“Don’t be silly,” Ailith scoffs. “We don’t live in a castle, Kristian.”
His smile widens as he crouches down in front of her.
“Maybe not, but your home still looks a lot like a fairy tale to me. And you know what’s the best part?” he whispers, tilting his head to the side.
Ailith beams at him, shaking her head. The awe in her eyes makes me smile.
“It’s real,” Kristian continues, voice low. “There’s nothing fake about it. I like that.”
My entire being melts at his words and the way he looks at my daughter. As if he takes her seriously. As if her opinion matters to him.
Sod it.
“Thank you,” I whisper as he looks up at me. I clear my throat at the way his eyes soften. “We painted the walls last summer, and the hardwood floor was put in three or four years ago, according to Mum.”
He nods as he straightens back up and walks slowly to the small kitchenette at the other end of the stairwell. His eyes flicker all the time, taking in everything. It’s fascinating to watch him. To see him so focussed.
“The kitchen is pretty old, I’m afraid,” I apologise, as Ailith follows him, opening and closing the cupboards for him.
“As long as it works, that’s fine with me.” There’s a sheepish look in his gaze as he glances at me. “I don’t know how to cook,” he admits.
“Oh.”
“Mum’s a great cook,” Ailith interjects, making me sigh a little.
Kristian raises his eyebrows at her.
“Really? Maybe she’ll cook for me one day.”
I wet my lips, wondering what else there is to show him. I point lamely at the bed behind me.
“The mattress is also pretty new, and we’ve got plenty of bedding to lend you if you need it.”
He smiles at me as he walks to one of the four windows and looks outside, admiring the view. Ailith takes my hand and I smile softly down at her.
“What do you think?” she asks Kristian.
I squeeze her hand at the quiet excitement in her voice.
“Kristian doesn’t have to decide anything today,” I remind her gently.
“I really like it,” he says, but then frowns as he stops in front of us. “I just don’t have a car, so I’m not sure how to get to the city every day.”
The hope within me dies a slow death. I hadn’t thought about that part.
“But Alex has two cars,” Kristian continues as he puts his hands in his back pockets. “I’ll talk to him, see if I can buy one of them. Or, I don’t know, lease a car while I’m here.”
“That sounds good,” I reply, my voice quiet. “Um, one thing, though…”
He tilts his head at me.
“What is it?”
“You’re doing your own cleaning while you’re here,” I blurt out. “You’re free to use our washer and dryer, of course, but you buy your own supplies. And I won’t iron or starch your under- I mean, your clothes.”
His eyes twinkle with mirth at my slip.
“Do people still starch clothes?”
I shrug as I feel a blush rising on my neck.
“Some do. This is Scotland, after all.”
He nods as he chuckles.
“Fair enough. I’m a big boy, Laura,” his voice drops, and I feel a bit lightheaded from the intimacy in his gaze as it sends flames my way. “I’m used to taking care of myself,” he continues.
“Okay, then.”
“This is going to be so much fun,” Ailith grins. “I’m going to go tell Gan-Gan.” She releases my hand to run down the stairs.
I send up a silent prayer, wishing with everything that I am that she’s right.
“Yeah,” Kristian’s low rumble makes my eyes jump back to his. “Definitely fun.”
I gulp, nodding slowly and crossing my arms. “Let’s find Mum and sort out the paperwork, yeah?” I barely manage to wrench my gaze from Kristian’s, my tummy doing mad cartwheels. The flames in his eyes quieten down when I move to pass him, and when he puts a hand on my arm, I tense, but stop in my tracks.
“Laura,” he murmurs. “About last night…”
Oh, no, please don’t mention that girl. Please, please, please…
I try to keep my face as blank as possible, not giving any indication of the way I feel.
“What about last night?” I ask, my voice neutral. “It was great, wasn’t it?”
He narrows his eyes at me as he nods slowly.
“Yeah, but I’m –”
“I’m glad we got to know each other better,” I interrupt. “And thank you for helping me after my small, err…mishap.”
His eyebrows shoot up. “You remember that part?”
“Yes. I’m grateful for your concern.”
His hand leaves my arm.
“What else do you remember?”
I open my mouth, hesitating for a beat. The air shifts, pressing in on my chest, and the way his jaw ticks as he waits for my answer makes the decision for me.
Honesty is always the best approach.
“Everything,” I whisper. “I remember everything.”
I don’t give him the chance to reply and quickly leave him with that.
14
Kristian
I rub my eyes before I follow Laura, my feet dragging. I need some time alone to think.
I know she saw me with Hannah—that she saw me fucking her, hard, rough. The way she looked at me, cautious and completely closed off, only confirms it.
There’s nothing I can do about it, except to gain some self control. Something tells me, though, that it might not be difficult to do as long as I get to see Laura every day. Now, I know I will, and that fills me with hope.
Even if I can’t touch her, taste her, or play with her, at least I can work on getting to know her.
The real Laura.
It’s funny. My heart got trampled on by a woman a lot younger than Laura, but they have the same shadows in their eyes. I must be a glutton for punishment, only
finding damaged women interesting enough to make an effort for.
I grimace at the thought as I step out into the sunshine, blinking against the afternoon sun.
Damaged is the wrong word.
Complicated is better.
And, so far, Laura has definitely proven that she’s exactly what she says she is.
Complicated.
Still, I can feel that she’s opening up to me in some ways. That’s something, at least.
I can’t help but grin as I watch Ailith and Laura walking hand in hand towards the other stable. Ailith looks so carefree as she’s chattering a mile a minute. Even though it sends a twinge through my heart, pushing memories to the forefront of my mind, it also brings me a semblance of peace. I have to catch my breath as Laura’s carefree laughter fills the air, riding in waves towards me and cloaking me in its joy.
Damn, that woman intrigues me.
As the sun beats down on her brown hair flying in the wind, sending off rays of golds and reds, I vow that I won’t allow her to keep me chained in the friend zone.
I won’t let her.
I will have her. I know she feels the chemistry between us, even if she’s determined to keep me at arm’s length, but I see it in the way she looks at me. I can feel the sexual tension humming in the air whenever we touch, and, fuck, it’s unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before.
I don’t even think that Emma made my blood run as hot as Laura does.
The realisation that my heart doesn’t start to bleed as I think about her now hits me straight in my gut. I don’t know what to make of it so I do what I usually do.
I bury it deep in my soul where I’ll keep it hidden away, only to be pulled out and examined later.
From Laura’s journal
Kristian ended up staying for dinner.
