by Karen Ferry
“What are you doing, you stupid man?”
I place my hands on his arms, doing my best to push him down, but he’s still as strong as he’s always been.
“I’m trying to make you listen, you silly woman,” he huffs before he frames my face with his hands. At the mere touch of his skin, the speed of my heartbeat slows down, my tears subside, and I feel another small crack in my heart heal over. I wet my lips as he stares hard into my eyes, and I lose myself in his for a moment.
“Stop panicking, please,” he whispers fervently. “I’m right here, sweetheart. You haven’t lost me, and you never will.”
I breathe deeply through my nose, trying with everything that I am to find my calm.
“I was so scared,” I whisper and rest my forehead on his. The urge to climb up on the bed and onto his lap is so strong, but I manage to restrain myself.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers back.
The regret in his voice and his gaze makes me frown.
“Why are you sorry?”
“For being the reason you were in such agony.”
My heart swells with love, and my breath stops when the realisation that I love him—truly am in love with him—hits me right in my soul, soaring through my veins and limbs with such speed I feel winded again.
“What’s wrong?”
I shake my head lightly as he leans away from me.
“Nothing’s wrong anymore. For the first time in almost decade, all is just as it should be in my world, baby.”
He grins at me and as soon as the dimples pop out, I laugh. When he makes a move to kiss me, I push lightly on his chest, preventing his lips from meeting mine. The smile dies out in his eyes and I realise I need to explain why I’m denying us both a taste when it’s the first time I’ve done so since I finally gave in to him just over a month ago. Softly, I run my hand through his scruff, relishing in the fact that he’s safe.
“In the future, do try to look before you walk across the street, yeah?”
He rolls his eyes at me, but I can see the laughter dancing in them, reassuring me that there’s no real annoyance hiding behind the action.
“I promise. Now, are you going to kiss me, sweetheart?”
I bite my lip as butterflies take over my system.
“I need to tell you something first,” I whisper.
He frowns, but I push past the nerves.
“I’m starting to fall in love with you.”
He blinks slowly before he slides back down on the bed, taking me with him. I rest my arms on either side of his face, keeping my weight off him so as not to hurt him.
“Thank fuck for that, because I’m way past falling, sweetheart.” His hands tense on my face and I lean into them, relishing his touch. “I’m gone.”
Lightly, I brush my lips over his, trying to remember that he’s been hurt—that we’re in a freaking hospital—but as soon as his teeth nip at my lips, his warm lips pressing against mine, I lose myself in the sheer beauty that is his kiss.
He breathes life into me like he’s done from the moment we met. As his tongue sweeps through my lips, I sigh, and the hard ball of nerves—of fear—that nestled in my stomach since I got here vanishes entirely.
As he kisses the anguish and heartache away, holding on to me as hard as I cling to him, I give him all that I am for the first time.
My trust.
My heart.
My soul.
I know that he will take care of all three forever.
29
Kristian
It’s been a week since I was released from hospital, and after the maddening headache finally disappeared, I’ve been feeling stronger every day since.
I know I’m lucky to be alive—that Alex was there that day, and that he was quick to react.
Being in a near-fatal accident would make anyone reflect on their life—it’s definitely made me stop and take a good, long look at mine—and it all amounts to one thing.
Or, rather two things: Laura and Ailith.
These two girls are everything to me.
I want to give them the world.
Hearing Laura tell me she’s in love with me should have vanquished my fears, but the future still seems very unsure.
Where are we going?
“What are you staring at, Kristian?”
As if waking up from a trance, I jump at the sound of Ailith’s voice next to me.
I shrug lightly as I tear my eyes off Laura as she’s riding Thunder in the paddock, and smile up at her. Her head’s just above mine as she sits on the fence.
“Just admiring your mum, girlie.”
She tilts her head at me and bites her lower lip.
“You looked so serious. Are you feeling okay?”
I place my arms on the fence and nudge her knee with my elbow.
“I’m fine,” I grin at her. “Having three women look after me for an entire week has done wonders.”
The frown clears from her eyes and she giggles at me.
I turn my head to Laura as she gallops past us. It’s not the first time I’ve seen her in the saddle and even to my untrained eyes, I can tell that she’s a natural. Her face is relaxed but focussed, her seat steady, and the way her body follows the movements of the once so fearful horse makes it look effortless, even when I know it can’t be. Thunder snorts, shaking his head, and if he wasn’t an animal, I would’ve sworn he’s grinning at me as Laura takes him past me and Ailith once more.
Stupid.
When she releases the reins and stretches both her arms out to the side, my heart skips a beat at the absolute trust she places on the horse.
“She’s good, isn’t she?” Ailith asks beside me.
I can’t tear my eyes away from the beauty in front of me, but I nod.
“I hope I’ll be just as good as she is when I get older.”
“I’m sure you will be,” I murmur softly.
The utter peacefulness of the silence between us makes warmth settle in my gut.
“Kristian…Can I ask you something?”
I glance up at Ailith.
“Of course. You can ask me anything.”
She looks down, placing her hands in her lap and grips them tightly.
So much for peaceful.
As I watch her fidget, I turn to face her, giving her my undivided attention.
“Are you okay?” I’m not used to seeing her so nervous—it’s strange.
Her eyes flicker to mine as she nods quickly.
“Yes. I was just wondering…” She stops, holding her breath, and instinctively I know I have to give her the time she clearly needs to sort out her thoughts.
All the Turley women have taught me a lot about patience.
“Are you going back to Denmark?”
Fuck.
I wish I was prepared for this conversation.
“That was the original plan, yes,” I answer carefully and run a hand through my hair. I hardly register the twinge in my scalp when I touch the stitches at the back of my head—I’m too focussed on our conversation.
Ailith scrunches up her nose.
“When?”
I need to tread carefully here, but I don’t want to lie to her.
“I was only supposed to be here for six months so around Christmastime, I guess.”
Nerves dance in my belly at the inscrutable look in her eyes and I push my hands into the pockets of my jacket, waiting for her to go on.
“But, what about Mummy?” she asks then.
I swallow the thickness in my throat and take a step closer to her.
“Look, Ailith, I don’t want to go back. Really, I don’t. But…” I sigh and shake my head a little as I lean against the fence. “Well, it kind of depends on your mum. On whether she wants me to stay or not.”
I hold my breath a few seconds and, going entirely on instinct, I let it out, raise my arm, and take her small hand in mine, holding it lightly. I don’t want to alarm her, but I’m so nervous right now, I’m having a h
ard time making my mouth obey me. Her hand twitches once, but the fact that she doesn’t pull away from me gives me the opening I need.
“It also depends on you, Ailith.”
Her eyes widen slightly.
“Me?”
“Yes, you.” I smile gently at her. “Your mum isn’t the only one who gets to make that decision. I need to know if you want me to stay here, too? If you’ll let me be a part of your life? It’s very important to me.”
She looks down once and I give her more time to think about what I’ve just said.
“Why?”
I jerk my chin at her and give her hand a gentle squeeze.
“Because you are just as important to me as your mum is. Both of you come first, and you always will. Please believe me.”
As her lips start to quiver, I wish for the hundredth time I knew the right words to say. Clearly, the ones I just said were the wrong ones.
But it seems that Ailith has a knack for surprising me just as much as her mother.
“I don’t want you to leave,” she cries softly as a tear rolls down her cheek.
A flicker of hope lights up my insides as she looks down at me.
“Really?”
She nods slowly.
“My dad was a bad man,” she goes on to say, taking me completely by surprise.
“I know he was.” I look away and my eyes land on Laura as she makes Thunder glide to a stop in the middle of the paddock. “I’m so sorry, girlie.”
“Do you know he’s dead?”
My eyes shoot up to Ailith and, wondering where she’s going with this, I frown at her.
“Yes.”
Solemnly, she squeezes my hand.
“Has Mummy told you about him?”
“No,” I answer quickly. “Well, bits and pieces,” I amend, “but that’s it. And that’s her story to tell, girlie. I’m a patient man—I don’t mind waiting until she’s ready to tell me about him.”
“But…”
“I mean it, Ailith,” I interrupt her. “Please don’t worry about it.”
“I’m scared you’ll leave us once she tells you,” she cries softly.
Hearing the anguish in her voice nearly breaks my heart.
“Come here,” I say softly and release her hand before raising both my arms up to her. Slowly, she lifts her legs, turns her body around to face me, and as she places her hands on my shoulders, I lift her down. But I don’t let her go. Instead, I make sure I have a good hold on her and look squarely into her eyes.
I need her to understand how important she is to me, but how? Taking a deep breath, I don’t even blink as I open up my heart to this sweet, little girl who’s already experienced things she shouldn’t have ever had to.
“Whatever happens,” I start, my voice fierce with compassion, “I won’t leave you. For as long as you want me in your life, I’ll be here for you.”
I don’t know what to say or do to wipe the scepticism from her eyes. All I can do is try to tell her with my words that I truly mean what I say—and maybe, in time, she’ll stop worrying about me leaving.
“Do you promise?”
“Yes, and I don’t break my promises. Just ask your mum that, and she’ll tell you it’s the truth.”
She lets out a shaky breath and wraps her arms around my neck, giving me a quick hug before she leans away from me. I smile softly at her, and when she lets out a beaming smile, I finally know I’ve got through to her. That she believes me.
“Ailith, are you okay?”
The worry in Laura’s voice makes me turn around so that she can see us. So engrossed in my conversation with Ailith, I haven’t even heard her come closer. She’s leading Thunder by his reins, and I place Ailith down on the ground. As she immediately takes my hand, I squint at her.
“Wipe your eyes, girlie,” I say in a voice only meant for her ears. “There isn’t room for tears anymore, unless they’re tears of joy. I’ll make sure of it.”
She smiles slowly up at me, and I feel relieved to see the light is back in her eyes.
“Deal?” I grin.
“Deal.”
“Sweetie, what’s the matter?” Laura says as she stops on the other side of the fence.
“Nothing, Mummy,” Ailith says quickly. “Just had a wee chat with Kristian, that’s all.”
“Oh?”
I shrug as Laura turns a questioning look my way.
“Yes. Since your birthday is next week and everything.”
She rolls her eyes at me.
“Please don’t remind me of it.”
I give her a slow smile and wink at her.
“You’re way too fixated on age,” I tease her.
That earns me one of her unladylike snorts, and Ailith laughs next to me.
“Come on,” I jerk my chin at Thunder as he starts to nibble on the chin strap of Laura’s helmet. He might be all soft and sweet right now, but I don’t trust any horse whose teeth are so close to any part of my woman’s body. “Let’s get Thunder rubbed down, and then you can show me that stall you said needs fixing.”
Falling for my diversion tactic, Laura immediately frowns at me.
“You’re not meant to work yet.”
I sigh as the three of us turn in the direction of the gate and Ailith releases my hand to open it.
“I’m fine,” I grumble as Laura walks past me.
She tilts her head and quirks an eyebrow at me.
“Maybe so, but you know what the doctor said—you’re on sick leave for another week, during which you’re meant to take it easy.”
It irks me not to have anything to do, and I kick at a rock on the road.
“I don’t do lazy well.”
“Suck it up, buttercup, ‘cause that’s just the way it’s going to be. At least for a few more days.”
I shake my head and look down at Ailith who giggles at me.
“Is this how it’s going to be?” I mumble and tuck the collar of my jacket up my neck, protecting myself from the autumnal wind. “The two of you ordering me around, telling me what to do all the time?”
Slowly, Laura turns around and walks backwards a couple of steps as Thunder meanders beside her. I narrow my eyes as the woman I adore winks at Ailith before turning her eyes back to me.
“Yes,” they answer at the same time and then erupt in giggles.
Fuck. I’m doomed.
I lean against a stall and watch Ailith cooing at Thunder as Laura ties him to the big metal ring next to me.
“You know,” I start conversationally, “I should probably be worried that you two young ladies are able to wrap me around your little fingers like that.”
Laura looks up at me and the silent laughter that greets me from her eyes makes my gut clench. I fucking love being the reason for that light.
“We’re usually subtler about it, but not since your accident, Kristian.” She takes off her helmet and shakes her hair, which is slightly matted with sweat on her head. “It’s important you take care of yourself.”
Sighing, I cross my arms.
“I know—I am, Laura—but I can’t stand being idle. It makes my skin crawl.”
She just shakes her head at me and turns around to see to Thunder. Ailith has already untied the girth and is struggling to get the saddle off.
“Careful,” Laura warns her as she topples backwards, probably from the weight of it. “Once you’ve taken it to the tack room, I do believe you have some homework to see to.”
Ailith frowns at her.
“But, Mummy…”
“I mean it, Ailith Margaret,” Laura warns her in a low tone, “you’ve had all morning off. Now it’s time to get back to the house and do your homework, so you don’t have to do it tonight. Okay?”
Ailith grumbles, dragging her feet, and I have to stifle the grin that’s threatening to stretch across my lips.
“Okay, Mummy,” she sighs as she passes Laura.
“Good girl.”
I crane my neck to watch Ailith until s
he’s out of earshot, before I turn back to Laura.
“Ouch,” I grin at her but she only shrugs.
“I know, but that’s parenting for you—being the bad guy once in a while.”
“I doubt Ailith will ever see you like that.”
Laura sighs as she takes a brush from the box on the floor.
“Hey,” I call out softly and she looks back at me, her hand resting on Thunder’s neck. “I grew up with a single parent most of my life, remember?”
Her eyes soften and she nods.
“So,” I push away from my spot and walk towards her, keeping our gazes locked, “no matter how much my mum forced me to do my homework?”
As I reach her side, I uncross my arms.
“What?”
“I never saw her as the bad guy,” I finish and put my hands on her hips, pulling her closer. “Neither will Ailith. Annoying, yes,” I grin, loving the cute way she rolls her eyes at me, “but never bad. I promise.”
“How is it you always know the right words to say to make me feel better?”
She wraps her arms around me and moves into my space until she’s flush against me. I have to admit it feels fucking great to have her look at me like that—as if I hold the answers to all her questions. As if all she needs is to be in my arms, and all is right in her world again.
No, not hers. Ours. In this moment it feels like it is.
“I don’t know,” I murmur and take a deep breath as she pushes up on her toes. “But you’re the only woman who’s ever brought that out in me, sweetheart.”
I feel her hands press in on my neck and I lean down until my mouth hovers above hers. The burning need that I always feel when she’s in my arms flares up, and as her tongue comes out to trace my lips, I groan.
“Sweetheart, if you don’t intend to do more than kiss me, don’t tease me.”
Her eyes flash with the same desire I feel pulsing in my veins, egging me on.
“I want you, too,” she whispers. “But are you…?”
“Don’t ask me if I’m fine again,” I interrupt as I clamp a hand down on her arse, squeezing it against my cock. “I’m aching for you.”
“Then help me finish up with Thunder, and then I think it’s time we took a shower.”
