by Lynn, Delisa
“So Uncle Kes knew?”
“Oh, sweetie, I’m sure he did. He and your father are best friends.”
I can’t believe all of this is happening. First Liam went missing, then Addison and her baby were killed, and now I learn that my dad was having an affair and died while with the woman.
Liam is being so supportive. I’m glad he’s here, but part of me needs Evan. I need his embrace, his touch, and his smell. I’ve been thinking about him all day. I call Nikki. She and Brody are coming to my father’s memorial. I wish Evan could be here.
***
I’ve never seen so many people in a church. I think every police personnel and FBI agent in California are here. Everyone gives their condolences and says so many great things about my father. He was an amazing man. I never thought, in a million years, he would cheat on my mom.
At the graveside, I think I see Evan.
“Nikki, you said Evan was in New York still, didn’t you?”
“Yes, only Brody came.”
I look around the corner and point him out to Nikki. It’s definitely him.
“Holy crap, I didn’t know he would show up,” Nikki says.
“I have to go talk to him, Nik. I can’t ignore him.”
Liam is talking to my mom. I jog over to him and pull him aside.
“Please don’t get upset, but I see Evan over there and I have to go talk to him. Please stay here.”
Liam looks Evan dead in his eyes. Then he kisses me and lets my hand go. “Hurry back.”
“Thanks.”
***
“Evan, what are you doing here?”
“I heard about your father and I had to see you. I’m so sorry for your loss. Can I please give you a hug?”
“Of course you can.” He grabs me and hugs me with so much love. Damn, I missed him so fucking bad. He holds me for several minutes; I don't stop him even though I know Liam is probably watching.
“Thank you for coming.”
“I told you I would do anything for you, darlin’. I miss you so much.”
“Me too, Evan.”
He gives me a look, kind of a disgusted look, probably because he's wondering how I could miss him when I'm with the man I chose over him.
Liam, Nikki, and Brody walk over to where we're standing. “Everything okay, beautiful?” Liam asks.
“Yes, Evan wanted to give me his condolences.”
Evan reaches his hand out to Liam to shake it. “Liam, glad to know Lila has you here with her in her time of need.”
“Lila will always have me.”
“Evan, we’re all going back to the house. Why don’t you join us?” I ask.
Evan looks from me to Liam and hesitantly nods his head. I know I shouldn’t have asked, but I need him here just as much as I need the others.
Liam looks at me and says, “Let’s go.”
Once we get back to my mom’s house, everyone shares stories and looks at pictures. There are pictures of my dad with everyone, even Evan and Brody from when they went fishing a few months back.
“I can’t believe you invited him here,” Liam whispers.
“He's my friend. Although I came back to you, I’ll always have a place in my heart for Evan. My father loved you and wanted me to be with you, but he also liked Evan. Now, if you will excuse me, I need to talk with my guests.”
Oh my God, I’m so stupid. Liam is right. How could I invite him over? I guess it’s not as bad as the home wrecker at my father’s funeral. I thought my mom was going to strangle her.
“Sweetie, are you okay?” Nikki asks.
“Oh God, Nik, I’m such an idiot.” I start crying.
“Oh no, Li. You’re not an idiot. I take it Liam isn’t happy about Evan?”
“You know he isn’t.”
Evan puts his hand in the small of my back. “Lila, I’m going to go now. Again, I’m so sorry for your loss, darlin’. Please call me if you need anything.”
“Wait, come with me, please.”
I get looks from Nikki, Liam, and Brody, but I want a few minutes alone with him. We walk out to the guesthouse, where it's quiet.
“I just needed to be alone with you for a minute,” I say. ”Please just hold me in your arms.”
He places his hands in the small of my back and pulls me in for one of his warm hugs. “I’m sorry for everything you've been through the last couple months. I know after losing Addison, you were devastated, and now your dad's gone. Is there anything I can do to help you get through this?”
“Thanks, you’re doing it now. Just you holding me means more to me than you will ever know.”
He leans over and places his lips to my forehead. “I love you and miss you so much. I should get going.”
It feels like our last night all over again. I’m losing him again.
“Thank you. I love you and I miss you more than you can imagine.”
I know I shouldn’t, but I lean up on my tiptoes and brush his lips with mine. He pulls back and gives me a hurt and confused look. Then he pulls me in tighter and kisses my lips, and I part his lips with my tongue. As I do, he lets out a little moan. We kiss with so much passion. Finally, I pull away. I can’t take anymore—I want him so bad.
His breathing is rapid and he kisses my head and says, “It isn’t goodbye. I’ll see you later.”
“Evan, wait.” I grab him and kiss him again. I wrap my legs around his waist and look him in his eyes. “I need you now. Please don’t tell me no. Please, I need to feel your love.”
I know it's wrong and he'll do it because I want him to. I unzip his pants. He pulls my dress up and pushes my panties to the side, then guides himself into my wet opening.
“Oh God, I love you so much. I know this isn’t right, but I need you so bad, baby,” I say.
“I love you and this is breaking my heart. I would be lying if I said I didn’t want to be inside of you.”
Each time he pushes up, I push down. We come together for the last time.
I slide my body back down to the floor and kiss Evan as I wipe his tears. “Evan, I’ll always love you.”
I kiss his heart and walk away. I walk back into the house as if nothing ever happened. I find Nikki and take her in the bathroom with me.
“Lila, everything okay?”
I’m sobbing and struggling to speak. “Nik, I uh…I, uh…I love Evan.”
“Oh, Li…You didn’t, did you?”
I nod my head. She sits down on the side of the bathtub and pulls me on her lap. She cradles me like a baby as I cry in her arms.
“We will get through all of this. I’m staying a week or so. I can’t leave you like this, not now.”
“Nik, how could I do this? I’m no better than that woman that was sleeping with my dad.”
“Oh, Li, sweets, you're not like that woman. I know you're confused and love both of them.”
Liam doesn’t talk to me for several hours. When we go home, I try making love to him and he says he's too tired. I know I hurt his feelings. I just couldn’t ignore Evan when he came all this way to pay his respects.
My life is a complete mess. I keep losing everyone and everything seems to be falling apart. God, I have no clue what I even want in life anymore. I know I want Liam, but I also want Evan in my life even though I know that can never be possible.
~Chapter
Twenty-Four~
I wake up to breakfast in bed.
“I’m sorry for overreacting about Evan. I know he’s your friend. I guess you could say I’m jealous. I know you did things with him that you do with me, and it kills me to know he has had his hands all over you.”
“Liam, I’m here with you. You won, he didn’t. I’ll be honest. I do love him, just not as much as I love you. I also kissed him yesterday. Before you say anything, I had to. I needed his touch. When you were gone, he was everything to me, and to walk away from him was hurting me so fucking bad. Please don’t be mad. I’m with you because it is you that I want. I want to wake up to you every d
ay. I want to feel your lips on mine every morning.” He smiles and kisses me. “Now you, Mr. Ellis, need to make love to me right now!”
“So bossy, Miss Carls.”
“Damn straight! Now pleasure your woman.”
I giggle. He never mentions the kiss again.
Six Months Later
After several interviews the past few months, I was offered a position at a small law firm. It’s a great opportunity. Liam is doing so much better. We're still living at my beach house. I haven’t heard from Evan since my father’s funeral. I think about him and what he's doing with his life often. Whenever I ask Brody, he just says he’s fine.
Eric has finally gone back to Boston, but he’s coming back to Cali soon. He says he can’t live in Boston anymore, not without Addie.
Liam and I went to Paris. My dad had gotten the tickets for himself and my mother as a Christmas gift, but my mom wanted us to go. I wasn’t up for the trip, considering everything I've been through, but I’m glad we went.
***
I go to lunch with some coworkers. I don’t know if it’s something that I ate, but afterward I feel really nauseous and go to the hospital. They run tests and find out that I’m pregnant. It’s almost September and they think I conceived in June, when Liam and I were in Paris.
The next day, I go back to work and Anna, my coworker, asks if I’m okay.
“I’m fine, just a little stomach bug.”
I tell her to hold my calls because I’m going to take the rest of the day off and that I’ll be fine.
Liam and I are going to have a baby! I head home to share the news with him. Will he be excited? Will he want to get married? All these questions are going through my mind. I don’t know how to even tell him. I think that maybe I’ll wait a couple days.
I walk in the door and Liam asks, “What are you doing home so early?”
“I thought I would take the afternoon off and we could have lunch together.”
“Sounds great. I actually have a few plans of my own, my sweet L.”
Hmm, what is he up to now?
“Why do you spoil me so much?”
“What makes you think my plans are for you? Now go change into something sexier than that.”
I’m not sure what his plans are, so I decide to wear a maxi dress. As I start changing, I notice the little bulge in my stomach. I’m already showing and didn’t even notice. I put my hair in a small bun on the top of my head and freshen up my makeup.
“I’m ready, Mr. Ellis. Where are we going?”
“It’s a surprise, my love.”
“Why are you blindfolding me?”
“You trust me, don’t you?”
“I do, with all my life.”
I hear a car pull up as I walk out the door. “Liam, what’s going on?”
“You will see soon enough.”
The ride is long and I can hear music playing.
“I love you so much, baby,” Liam says.
“I love you more, and I would love to be able to kiss you right now.” He leans in and kisses me. Then he works his way down my neck and back up.
“Don’t start something you can’t finish,” I say.
“Ha, I can finish.” He slides his hands up my dress and starts rubbing me through my panties.
“Liam Anthony, I want you right here. Wherever we are, I don’t care, just give it to me.” He chuckles, then starts pulling my panties off. Oh God, I hope he doesn’t notice my stomach yet. He runs a finger across my clit. “O-Oh Liam, please!”
He slides one finger inside of me. “Damn, you're dripping wet.”
I laugh. I wish I could see his face. “Liam, I’m hornier than a fucking jack rabbit on a bunny farm.”
“That has to be one of the funniest things you’ve ever said. Thanks, now I see little bunnies everywhere.”
“No, Liam, more please.” He slides another finger in and starts moving them faster as he kisses me. I grip his neck with both hands and scream “Liam!” as loud as I can. I have no damn clue who can hear me, but I don’t care.
Damn, that orgasm was amazing.
“You feel better, baby?” he asks.
“Oh, Liam, you have no idea how bad I needed that. My turn to make you come, my love.”
“No, not now. We’re almost at our destination.”
“But Liam, I want you now.”
“Soon, my love, very soon.”
When he takes off my blindfold, I notice right away that we're standing in the middle of his beach. There are pink roses everywhere along with a huge white blanket. I see bottles of wine and fruit. It's beautiful.
I’m speechless. “How did you do this?”
Liam laughs. I see Ashton and Christabella with their baby.
“They helped,” he says. I laugh as I hug them all.
Liam gets down on both knees. The smile on his face is priceless. He has a pink box in his hand.
He opens the pink box and reveals a beautiful diamond ring. It isn’t too flashy or big.
“This was my mother’s ring. I promised her I would give it to a woman she would approve of, a woman that would make me happy. My beautiful L, that’s you. Will you be my Mrs. Liam Anthony Ellis?”
I have no clue where it's coming from, but I hear “Marry Me” by Train playing. Oh my God, Evan played that song when he proposed. I have to quit thinking about him.
“Liam,” I cry. “Of course I will. I’ll always be yours.”
Through his tears, he smiles and says, “I told you the first night I walked you home that you would be!”
“I do need to tell you something; I’m not sure how you will feel about this.”
“What is it?”
I bite my bottom lip as I reach for his hand and place it on my baby bump. “You’re going to be a daddy!”
“What? We’re having a baby?”
“Yes!” I cry.
“This is awesome, Lila.”
Liam picks me up and carries me to the blanket on the sand. This is absolutely the perfect night to make love on the beach and celebrate both our engagement and my pregnancy. It can’t get any better.
***
Several months have passed and I still haven’t told anyone about the engagement or being pregnant.
“Don’t you think it’s time we make our big announcements? I know your mother has noticed your baby bump,” Liam says.
“I do, my love. How about we invite everyone over for dinner? I’ll call Eric to see if he can fly in.”
“I’ll call my aunt, uncle, and Ashton,” Liam says.
“And I’ll see if Nikki is available.”
Everyone we invited shows up—my mom, brother, Uncle Kes, all of the Ellis’s, and Nikki. All we're missing is Addie and my daddy. I still miss them every day. It's been almost a year and the police still haven’t found Ads’s murderer. All the video footage is fuzzy and there weren’t any witnesses except Eric.
“We've brought you all here to share our news. Liam and I are getting married, and we're expecting our first child in four months.”
Everyone is so excited and happy. Nikki and I step out on the patio and when I look up, I see that same star again. I know Addie is with us.
“Lila, what is it?” Nikki asks.
“Nothing.” I smile. “Just thinking of Addie.”
“Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry.”
“Me too, Nikki, me too. Have you talked to Brody?”
“Yes, I talk to him every day. Let me guess, you want to know about Evan?”
“Brody won’t tell me anything.”
“You crushed him. He started drinking. I actually had to go to New York a couple months ago because Brody was really upset. Evan left and was gone for several days.”
Tears build up in my eyes. “What happened?”
“He went to upstate New York, to some campground.”
“Black Bear,” I say as I put my hand over my mouth.
“What is it?”
“That's where Evan and I went last y
ear and spent the day, making love and talking about our future together.”
“Oh damn, I’m sorry. Please stop crying. You don’t want Liam to see you crying over Evan.”
I hug Nikki and whisper in her ear, "I’ll always love Evan. Please call him for me.”
“Are you sure, Lila?”
I nod my head and walk back in the house. Then I continue celebrating my engagement and our baby, thinking of the other love of my life.
“Everything okay, L?” Liam asks when I walk back in.
“Yes, everything is perfect. The only thing missing is my dad and Ads.”
He smiles and hugs me. “They’ll always be in our hearts.”
Everyone leaves and Liam and I lounge around, watching TV.
“You and that sexy dress makes me want to take you in the bedroom.”
“Liam stop, I’m huge! And I’m ready to take this dress off.”
“Good, I’ll help.”
Liam enjoys pregnancy sex a little too much. He picks me up and carries me into the bedroom.
***
Today, we're getting my second sonogram.
“Lila, we're going to be late for the doctor appointment. Come on,” Liam says.
“I am, hold on. I’m a huge roly-poly.”
“You, my love, are a beautiful roly-poly.”
I playfully push his arm as he bends down to kiss me.
It's now November and I only have a few months to go. When we arrive at the doctor’s office to wait for the ultrasound, I start cramping.
“Liam, I don’t feel so well,” I say.
Liam yells for a nurse. She gets a wheelchair and takes me in an operating room to do the exam.
“Everything is fine,” the doctor says. “The babies are healthy.”
“Did you say babies?”
“Yes, there are two babies.”
I look at Liam. He's smiling ear to ear. “This is great,” Liam says.
I laugh. No wonder I’m as big as a house. None of the other ultrasounds showed that I’m having twins.
