by Anna Samuels
‘What ideas did you have Mum?’ she asked.
I sighed. ‘It’s ridiculous.’
‘Why don’t you tell me before dismissing it?’
I looked up at her from under my lashes. ‘You’re going to think I’m crazy,’ I told her, smiling.
‘Somehow I doubt that, Mum.’
‘Okay,’ I replied, and settled back into the sofa. Beginning to talk, I started telling Ava about all the thoughts and plans I had begun to make in my head. She listened intently and didn’t speak until I was through.
‘So, what do you think? Ridiculous, huh?’ I asked as I sat back, finished.
‘Not ridiculous, Mum.’
‘But, surely it would be the most far-fetched thing I’ve ever done?’
‘Perhaps,’ she nodded, ‘but what’s the alternative? Go back to job you hate? Stay here in a house which holds memories of sadness and is cold and quiet now we’ve flown the nest? I think it’s a great idea-if she’s the one, and what that bitch in reception said was untrue.’
‘Ava!’
‘Well, sorry Mum but it’s true.’
I stared into space for a long moment. ‘I should call her…’
Ava nodded. ‘You should.’
‘I don’t know if I can, Ava.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I’m scared,’ I admitted, my eyes filling with tears.
‘But isn’t she worth taking a leap of faith, Mum?’
I nodded slowly. ‘She is, Ava. She is.’
‘Then do it.’
I nodded but did nothing. Sat there on the sofa, I couldn’t get myself to take hold of my own destiny. As I stared into space, Ava left my side and left saying she was going to her room.
Hours later, I had done little but mull on everything. I paced the house and did mundane jobs, unsure of what to do with myself. Ava encouraged me to take a bath and clean myself up but even that was a chore. Once done, I curled up on the sofa once again and lay against the soft, plush cushions.
It was close to 10.30pm when it happened. A knock at the door sounded and I sat up, startled. Ava, who was sat across from me, sat up too.
‘Who on earth would be knocking at this hour of the night?’ I exclaimed.
‘I think it’s for you,’ she told me softly, her lips curling into a soft smile.
‘Me?’ I replied, confused.
‘Go on!’ she encouraged. ‘Answer the door!’
I got to my feet and padded over to the front door. With anticipation, I pulled the door open and gasped audibly. ‘Alex!’
‘Hey Cassie. Can I come in?’ she smiled.
Chapter 14
I couldn’t speak. I just stared at her in stunned silence. She stepped in, despite me not speaking and reached to hug me close. I held her for a long moment, relishing the feeling of her soft body against mine and then she stepped back at me to look down at me.
‘I hear we have some talking to do…’ she murmured.
I looked over towards Ava and she grinned, guiltily.
‘I’ll just leave you two to talk,’ she said, springing to her feet and hurrying off upstairs.
I was left alone with Alex and I felt awkward and unsure of what to do or say.
‘Can I come in?’ she asked, looking at me intently.
A million images flashed before my eyes of the times we had spent together; all the memories we had made in the space of such a short time. ‘Of course…sorry…come on in,’ I welcomed.
We walked to the sofa and sat down.
‘Ava called me,’ she told me, unnecessarily.
‘I figured that out the second you appeared at my door,’ I told her wryly.
‘It’s lucky she did, because you didn’t, Cassie. Why didn’t you call me?’ she questioned.
‘I thought everything was over! I thought I didn’t matter to you. I didn’t want any more heartbreak so I turned off all my phones.’
‘I know you did. I’ve been trying to get through to you for days!’
‘I’m sorry, Alex.’
She stared at me, wide-eyed. ‘So, what have you been thinking? I’m taking it that you believed Nikki in the office when she told you all that crap about me,’ Alex questioned.
I nodded guiltily. ‘I thought what she said was true.’
‘Why?’ she exclaimed, hotly. ‘After all we had said and done together, how could you possibly believe me of all those things!’
‘Because I don’t really know you, Alex. We don’t know each other. How was I to know you weren’t that person? I’m also very insecure-so I assumed you couldn’t possibly want me more than some barmaid from town.’
Alex looked at me for a long moment. When she spoke, her voice was low and husky. ‘We might have only spent a small amount of time together, Cassie, but in that time, I opened up to you more than anyone I have ever met. Now I appreciate the time we spent together was short, but I thought we’d connected. I thought it was something special. When you left so easily, I realised you have some way to go before you’re ready for what I’m looking for. But no…’ she said, as I tried to interrupt, ‘please let me speak. I will give you the space you need to do what you need to do, but when and if you reach the stage that you’re ready for a real relationship with me, you know where to find me. I’m in love with you, Cassie, and I’ll wait for you.’
I sat, completely frozen to the spot. She loved me? Alex actually loved me. I opened my mouth to speak.
‘No, don’t,’ she said, lifting gentle fingers to my mouth. ‘I don’t want or need you to say anything right now-just know how I feel and that when you’ve worked through the difficulties in your life and come to terms with the woman you are, I’ll be at Hunter’s cabins…waiting for you to come back to me. If you don’t, so be it, but I’m full of hope.’
I went to speak again but she stopped me by standing. ‘I love you, Cassie. I’ll be thinking of you.’
She turned and left before I could stop her.
As the door slammed behind her, I fell to my knees in stunned surrender. She loved me? Alex really loved me.
‘How romantic!’ a voice said, startling me.
I swirled, gasping. ‘Ava! Were you listening?’
‘Damn right I was! Oh my goodness, Mum, you were right! She sounds amazing!’
‘She is,’ I said, quietly.
‘Why didn’t you tell her you loved her back? I know you do, Mum!’
‘I do,’ I said softly, ‘but she knows me well now…I’m not ready and there’s too many loose ends I need to tie up before I’m ready to be with her properly.’
‘Well, don’t take too long about it, Mum! She sounds like a right catch!’
I smiled to myself, feeling incredibly happy in those moments. I had a lot to do, but I knew know what I wanted and who I wanted to be with. ‘Oh don’t worry, I won’t. In fact, I’ll be off to the estate agent’s tomorrow, I think.’
‘You’ll sell up?’ Ava asked, wide-eyed.
‘I want to, yes. Are you okay with that?’
‘I’m fine with that-so long as I always have somewhere to go that you’ll be at, I’m happy.’
‘You should see Alex’s home, Ava. It’s absolutely beautiful.’
‘I imagine it is if she owns the whole place!’ she exclaimed. ‘Maybe when you drop me back to Plymouth, you could pay her a surprise visit-even though you won’t be stopping just yet.’
‘You know something, Ava? That’s an absolutely excellent idea!’ I grinned, excited by the prospect.
‘Right, well I’m going to go and join the lecture by webinar. You okay by yourself?’
‘I’m fine, sweetie. I have tons to be getting on with!’
‘Okay Mum.’ Ava kissed me gently on the cheek and then turned and left the room.
The next day was a productive blur. I did visit a local estate agent friend I knew who very quickly agreed to do a valuation and get my house on the market. I got Ava packed and ready to go back to University and also got a lot of paperwork sorted and
filed in preparation for the plans I had made mentally. Forty-eight hours later, Ava and I set off for the three-hour drive to her University. Once there, I could immediately see how much happier Ava would be in her new housing. There was Jenny already established in her room plus three others who were mature students and seemed so much friendlier and stable than the last crowd had been.
I stayed several hours and left just as the night sky was darkening. Ava seemed happy and okay with being back but promised to stay in touch with me on a daily basis until we were both feeling more settled with life in general.
I drove on to Cornwall, excited and terrified at the same time. I couldn’t wait to see her and yet I hoped she would accept everything I had to say and offer her.
It took me just over an hour to arrive at Hunter’s cabins from the University. I felt strange as I drove into the gates, as if I was coming home. Despite not knowing the place extremely well, it felt like where I should be because Alex was there.
I drove straight through the park and up the hill to her house. Parking in the drive, I climbed out slowly, steadying my nerves with deep breaths as I stepped up to the door.
I breathed in and out, long and slow before lifting an unsteady hand to knock on Alex’s front door.
It took several long moments for Alex to answer the door. When she did, the warmth of light and heat that swept my way was more than welcoming.
‘Oh my God!’ she exclaimed, looking stunned.
‘Hi Alex,’ I said, smiling but also trembling.
‘I can’t believe you’re here,’ she said, her voice husky.
‘I…’
‘Come in…come in…it’s cold,’ she said, ushering me in the door.
I stepped into the warm house, feeling like I was coming home. ‘Thanks,’ I said, taking off my coat and shoes. I then followed Alex into the living room, where she turned to look at me expectantly.
I had rehearsed what I wanted to say to her a million times since deciding to make this trip to see her. Now I was here, I couldn’t even think let alone put together a coherent sentence. I swallowed hard against my nerves and opened my mouth to speak.
‘Alex, I…’
She looked at me as I paused, waiting…simply waiting for me patiently.
‘I…’ I couldn’t seem to say the words.
‘You don’t have to say anything, Cassie. The fact that you’re hear says it all.’
The look she gave me melted my heart. I stepped into her arms and we embraced each other tightly. I didn’t let her go for a long, long time. She felt so good, pressed against me closely. When she did lift her head to look down at me, her gaze was loving. It was all I needed to know, and I leant forwards to kiss her. I realised how much I had missed her in the days we had been apart. As our mouths met and mated, my head swam with emotion. I knew I loved her so much and I knew she was my destiny; my future. With love swelling in my heart, I let her lead me to bed.
Hours later, Alex and I lay in bed, talking in soft voices.
‘I can’t quite believe you’re here,’ Alex said, in an amazed voice.
‘Well, I wanted to follow you back the second you left,’ I revealed, ‘but I had to wait to bring Ava back to Uni.’
‘Oh right. So that’s why you’re here?’
I shook my head, ‘No…I came because of you, Alex.’
‘You did.’
‘Yes. I did drop Ava on the way, but the second you left me the other day, I knew exactly what my plan was.’
‘And what was that, Cassie?’ she asked softly.
‘Well,’ I said, taking a steadying breath to give myself courage. ‘Firstly, I want to tell you something.’
‘Go on,’ she encouraged.
‘I love you,’ I said, emotion filling my voice.
I felt my heart hammering in my chest.
‘I’ve known since you told me how you felt,’ I revealed, ‘and if I had been stronger in that moment, I would have told you that straight away. The thing is, Alex, you were right. I do love you and want to be with you but I’m not quite ready. I did need to sort things and get my life in order-and I’ve started that process. The thing is, I wanted you to know that I’m making the changes I need to in order to be with you…because I love you.’
‘Oh Cassie. Do you know how much I wanted to hear that?’ she asked, her voice full of emotion.
‘Can I tell you my other plans?’ I asked her, feeling tremors of nerves rush through my system.
‘With pleasure,’ she said, stroking my hair gently with her hand.
‘Well…I have something for you…it’s not exactly ready quite yet, but the gesture is there,’ I told her, climbing out of the bed. ‘I’ll just go and get it.’
I hurried down the stairs, cold and stark naked. I collected my hand bag and then rushed back up the stairs. When I got back to the bed, I jumped back in and pressed my cold body close to Alex’s.
‘Oh my God, you’re cold!’ she exclaimed, rubbing my skin with her warm hands.
‘I know, but it’s worth it…’
‘What is?’ she asked, looking confused.
I pulled a folded piece of paper out of my bag and handed it to her. I then waited as she looked at it in confusion. Her eyes went from the paper to me and then back again.
‘I... I don’t understand,’ she said, frowning.
‘It’s the money that I will get when I sell my house,’ I told her. ‘I’ve already had it valued.’
‘But…but…’
‘I want to be your partner in life and in your family business. There’s just enough to buy your brother out and let us continue to own this place together.’
She stared at me, absolutely stunned.
‘Don’t tell me no, don’t tell me that it’s too soon. I know what I want, and this is what it is. I realised the moment you told me about your predicament. I have no ties left to my home town, my house. I don’t want to be there anymore. What I do want is to be with you and to build a new life here with you. It’ll give me a new career path as well! I couldn’t be happier with the idea-so long as you’re happy with it?’
‘Happy?’ she questioned, ‘oh my goodness, Cassie, it’s like a dream come true!’
‘So you’ll do it?’ I asked.
‘On one condition,’ she replied, smiling at me coyly.
‘Go on?’
‘I’d like you to marry me, Cassie. Let’s me full partners in life, love and business.’
I couldn’t speak I was so stunned.
‘Will you, Cassie?’ she asked again.
‘Yes!’ I exclaimed, happier than I could ever remember being. ‘Of course I’ll marry you!’
As we embraced and kissed, I knew that I had found the person I had been looking for. Though it may not be easy, I knew that life with Alex by my side would be what I’d always dreamed of.
