by Susan Meier
* * *
He shouldn’t have kissed her. Soaping himself in the shower the next morning, the words rang through Max’s brain like a litany of recrimination.
I shouldn’t have kissed her.
I shouldn’t have kissed her.
I shouldn’t have kissed her!
He liked hearing her laugh. He liked making her laugh. He loved parenting with her, and he had jeopardized all that just because he couldn’t keep his hands off her. Couldn’t stop his fingers from sliding beneath the thick mane of the sable hair at her nape. Feeling its weight, enjoying the feminine softness. He couldn’t stop his head from descending, his lips from taking just one taste.
But one taste grew into two, and a kiss that was supposed to be a wisp of a touch grew into something warm and deep and hungry. Every ounce of pent-up longing buried inside him sprang to life, believing it was about to be satisfied.
But it wasn’t. Not because he wasn’t attracted to her or even because she wasn’t attracted to him. Because it was wrong. She was different than the Kate he’d married.
He frowned. No, she wasn’t so much different as changed. She was still herself but spunkier. Also sensible and…well, mature. That was it. Mature. Even if they hadn’t divorced, she would have grown into this mature woman. As soon as they had Trisha, she would have become this Mama Bear who wouldn’t let anybody hurt her baby. He smiled. Oh, he could just imagine that! Her dictating when and how his dad could see Trisha? That made him laugh as he stepped out of the shower. He would have liked to be sober to see that.
Had he been sober, he would have seen that.
The distance between them was all his fault.
Those were the words ringing in his ears as he drove to his mother’s mansion on the hill. He popped the door of his Range Rover and walked up to the main entrance, only to discover Phillip, her butler, was already at the door as if expecting him.
“Your mother’s in the dining room, Mr. Montgomery.”
He didn’t waste a second. His mother should not have interfered. Not only was it not her place, but that kind of behavior would only remind Kate of a very bad time. A time when she’d had to struggle for her life. A time when arguing was better than cooperation. If his mother ruined the good relationship he and Kate were forming, they would all be sorry.
Still, when he stepped into the dining room none of the anger he felt showed on his face. Control over his emotions was second nature now. He didn’t have to remind himself that anger solved nothing. He knew anger solved nothing. He also knew how to negotiate. How to take and keep the upper hand when it belonged to him and step away when it didn’t.
Walking to the table, he said, “Mother.” He crossed to her chair, kissed her cheek and then took his usual seat. “I’m glad I haven’t yet eaten breakfast.”
“So am I. The pancakes were especially fluffy this morning. You should have those.”
He smiled at Cook, who stood beside his chair awaiting his instructions. “Pancakes it is.” Opening his napkin, he said, “So what’s this I hear about you threatening Kate over Trisha?”
Gwen sighed as if put upon. “I wasn’t threatening her, darling. Consulting a lawyer is only common sense.”
“No, it isn’t. It’s interfering. When Kate left eight years ago I was unreliable. Sometimes frightening. Always undependable.” He took a sip of coffee. “She left to protect herself and Trisha. If you make her life difficult, you’ll be the one to suffer. We’ll cut the time you get to spend with your granddaughter and make it so that you don’t see her without Kate present, so that you can’t interrogate her or poison her mind.”
His mother set her hand on top of his with a warm laugh. “Really, darling, such theatrics!”
“You’re the one who threatened Kate, Mom.”
“I just want our rights protected.”
“You do remember Kate, right? Sweet girl. Wouldn’t hurt a fly. She’ll give us our rights without courtrooms or lawyers or even much of a fuss, if we just play fair.”
“She didn’t play fair.”
“She was afraid.”
“There was no reason to be afraid!”
He sighed. “Mom, you didn’t live with me. You don’t know what she went through. I’m amazed she didn’t bolt the second she saw me at the hospital last month. But I’m grateful that she didn’t and I’m grateful that she lets me see Trisha and I’m working my way into her good graces so that we can parent together.”
His mom’s eyes lit with joy. “You’re trying to get back together?”
Good Lord. How had she come up with that out of what he’d said?
“No!” But even as he denied it, he remembered that kiss. He remembered how his hand had itched to slide farther down her back, along the slim curve of her waist. He remembered the heat in his blood and the ache in his heart.
But he also remembered that she had evolved. She was different. He was different. As these two people, they might not be a good match. “No.”
“I think you should.”
“Mom, that isn’t even slightly on the cards. If you talk like that around Kate she’s going to get nervous and stay away.”
“Wow. Can’t talk about how she kept my granddaughter from us. Can’t talk about a reconciliation.” She held up her hands in surrender. “I suppose I just have to shut up completely.”
“That would be an excellent idea.”
“Seems like she’s calling all the shots.”
“Or fighting for her life.”
His mom harrumphed. “Drama queen.”
“Again, Mom, you didn’t know what it was like to live with me. We have to play fair. Be honest and open with her so she isn’t afraid of dealing with us.”
The room got quiet as the words he’d said to his mom sank into his own head and made him realize he wasn’t being totally honest. Not with himself. Not with Kate. He’d kissed her because he liked her. He liked the woman she’d become as much, if not more, than the girl he’d married. He knew with every fiber of his being that they would be a good match. A better match than they had been as kids.
But she didn’t want him. And every time he was in her presence he liked her more. One simple kiss had blown him away. Even now, he could feel her softness, taste her taste, feel her surrender. He wanted her so much that it was only a matter of time before he started acting on it. He didn’t know when. He didn’t know how. But one thing was certain. When he wasn’t sure he could control himself, he had to come clean, be honest and get help.
He had to talk to Kate.
CHAPTER TEN
A FEW HOURS LATER, Kate sat at a café table on the sidewalk in front of Antonio’s Italian Restaurant. Max had called and asked her to meet him. Alone. Somewhere they could talk without worry that Trisha would overhear. Though she’d been perfectly calm while they arranged this meeting, even while driving downtown to the restaurant, the five-minute wait had sent her mind scampering in a million directions.
He’d said he’d wanted to tell her about the discussion with his mom, but he’d also said there was more. Something he needed to tell her. Something Trisha shouldn’t overhear.
What if the conversation with his mom hadn’t gone well?
What if he wanted joint custody?
What if his mom had convinced him to go to court to block her from taking Trisha back to Tennessee?
Her breath stalled, but Max suddenly appeared. Standing across the street in his jeans and T-shirt, waiting for the light, he looked so different from the lanky boy she’d married.
A shudder of attraction worked its way through her. But with the fearful thoughts she’d just had about him, feeling anything for him was wrong. So she squelched it.
Mercilessly.
It didn’t matter if he was gloriously, maturely sexy. It didn’t matter that his walk was no longer a boyish swagger, but the stride of a mature man. It didn’t matter that his hair fell sexily to his forehead or that his smile, when he noticed her, warmed her heart. It didn’t m
atter that he’d kissed her and she’d enjoyed it and longed for more. There were too many issues between them for her to be attracted to him.
Period.
End of story.
As he sat, she said, “I took the liberty of ordering you an iced tea.”
“Thanks. I’m sorry I’m late. I—” He hesitated, nervous.
A waiter in black pants and a white shirt arrived with their teas and when he asked to take their lunch orders, Max relaxed like a man getting a reprieve from death row. But though he relaxed, she got more nervous. If he was happy to delay, whatever he wanted to talk about was not good.
His mom probably had persuaded him to do something. Most likely to try for joint custody. Her nerves hitched another notch.
By the time the waiter left, she thought she’d explode and didn’t waste a second. “All right. What’s up?”
He chuckled. “Wow. Getting right to it, I see.”
“I told you. I’m different.”
He looked down at his iced tea. “I know.”
She sighed. “Max, I’m not good at waiting for bad news. So just spit it out. Whatever it is I can handle it.”
He studied his iced tea for a few more seconds, then slowly raised his gaze until he caught hers. “I think I’m starting to be attracted to you again.”
Her heart stopped, then sped up, sending her pulse scrambling. Starting to be attracted? She’d always been attracted to him. And now that he was sober, her feelings had expanded. He was a handsome, sexy, wonderful man. A man she’d slept with. He knew her body as well as she knew his. Knew his likes, his dislikes, the sensitive places—
Oh, God. She got it. He wasn’t starting to be attracted to her. He was only now feeling everything she’d been fighting since the day she’d returned. Except it was harder for him. When he thought of their past, he didn’t have the safety net of remembering her breaking windows and shouting. He remembered her scrambling to make things work. Giving him aspirin. Covering for him. Helping him. Maybe even the happiness they’d shared at the beginning of their marriage.
She shifted on her chair. “Max, this is nothing but residuals from…you know…when we were first married.”
He laughed. The sound was as warm as the sun and as potent. It struck a chord in her that swelled her heart and sent a shower of tingles down her spine.
“No. It’s not residuals from when we were first married.”
His confidence kicked her heart rate into overdrive again. How could he say that with so much certainty?
“Kate, you’re so damned different that only a fool would think we could go back to what we had. But I also can’t lie. There’s enough of you that’s still the same that sometimes I do tap into old memories and…wonder.”
“Wonder?”
He sighed, sat back on his chair. “This morning, thinking about kissing you last night, thinking about how it was the same but different, I realized that at some point—even if we hadn’t divorced, you would have grown into this strong woman. You became protective for Trisha. And I’m just about certain you would have put a foot down with my parents.” He laughed. “It made me smile to think about it. Because I like this new you. Really, really like this new you.”
Her breath shimmied in her chest. She liked the new him too. But it was wrong. They couldn’t just wipe away the past. Forget broken windows and anger. Some pains left marks. Scars. Residuals that wouldn’t just go away because they wished they would.
“I think that’s because the new you fits the new me. We’d be a killer team. We both have an innate compassion and sense of right and wrong. But we also know ourselves. We’re smart. We’re strong.” He glanced away, then glanced back again with a wince. “I also can’t stop myself from wondering how that would play out in bed.”
Her heart about popped out of her chest. Her nerves jumped. She could see the two of them naked, exploring, hungry. “Wow. Thanks for that image.”
He laughed, then squeezed her hand as if he thought she was teasing and pulled back. “Anyway, I promised myself when I went into AA that I’d never again live a lie. And pretending I feel nothing would only up the tension of an already difficult situation.”
“Max—”
“Don’t worry. I’m not telling you this to ask you to get back together with me.” He looked down at his plate, then back up at her. The hopeful look in his eyes didn’t match his next words. “I only want you to know so that you’re prepared.”
“Okay. I’m prepared.” She wasn’t. Not even a little bit. As she stared into his hopeful blue eyes, her heart longed to tell him she liked him too. But her brain kept flashing back to pictures of their past. How could she like him so much when he’d hurt her so much?
She took a sip of tea to calm herself, then fluffed out her napkin before laying it across her lap. This seemed like the perfect time to change the subject. “So what happened in your conversation with your mom?”
He sat back. “Everything’s settled. I told her that anything to do with Trisha was between us and she should stay out of it.”
Ridiculous pride swelled in her chest. He would never have so neatly and cleanly handled his parents eight years ago. Proof, again, that he was a totally different guy.
A totally different guy who was attracted to her—the different person she was, not the girl he’d married.
She sucked in a quiet breath. Temptation and longing surged in her. She ignored both. “And she agreed?”
He smiled ruefully. “I’m her only child now. She can’t afford to lose me.”
“True.”
He reached for his napkin. “So, now that we have both of those things out of the way, what do you say we just enjoy lunch?”
“Sure.” But her insides shivered. One word from her could change everything. One sentence. I like the new you too. She’d seen the longing in his eyes. She knew at least a part of him hoped she’d tell him she liked him too.
But once again those damned pictures rolled through her mind, telling her not to think about the effortlessly sexy guy beside her. Not to wonder about how different a marriage to this Maxwell Montgomery would be.
He glanced around. “So what do you think of the updates on this block? They’re part of the city’s renovation and development program.”
“They’re great.” Nervous, she picked up her tea again. Her hand shook. Seriously. She should leave. Spending too much time with him was tempting fate. “Did you guys have anything to do with them?”
He hesitated for a second, then said, “A bit.”
Her eyebrows rose. “A bit?”
He winced. “More than a bit.”
Kate took a deep breath. A million questions bombarded her brain, things she wouldn’t have been able to ask eight years ago. Not only had she not been as educated in development then as she was now, thanks to her job, but also the old Max had hated his work.
They were both so different.
Longing tugged on her soul and filled her with a weird kind of anger. If she’d just met him, even if he’d told her about his past drinking, she would give him the benefit of the doubt. She’d be nice to him, befriend him, maybe let herself fall hopelessly in love—
But this wasn’t their first meeting.
She drew in a silent breath, forcing herself to get back on track. “So tell me about the renovations. How involved were you?”
“I actually poured a lot of my own money into this.” He shrugged. “Montgomery Development has so many out-of-town business associates who spend days and sometimes even weeks here, that it’s to our benefit to have a hotel or two and a few nice restaurants right here, a few blocks away from our offices. I saw the investment potential and ran with it.”
Her eyes widened. “You own this stuff?”
“I own it, but I lease it out.” He smiled. “Don’t let my money scare you now, Kate. You saw my house. You saw how I live. One housekeeper. And she’s around mostly because I can’t cook and don’t have time to clean. I’m not going to turn
into my parents and get a huge house on the hill. I like this lifestyle.”
Avoiding his eyes, she rearranged her napkin. “I just thought you stayed in our old house because you hadn’t had time to find another place.”
“I stayed there because I like the house.” He fiddled with his silverware. “I like the house a lot. You did a beautiful job. I’m not surprised you got into construction yourself.”
Her gaze swung to his. “You know where I work?”
“I made a few discreet inquiries. Nothing that would raise eyebrows or suspicions. I just wanted to be sure you and Trisha have everything you need.”
“I can provide for us.”
He laughed. “I know you can. I’m not criticizing. I was worried, so I checked. And I found that you’re doing great.” He paused. “I’m proud of you.”
Tears stung her eyes. Emotion clogged her throat. The old Max wouldn’t have noticed what she did. This Max was proud of her. Oh, he was dangerous to her heart and soul. Very dangerous. “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
Their food came and the conversation shifted to Trisha. For which she was eternally grateful. Knowing that he was starting to have feelings for her, feelings strong enough that he felt he had to admit them, put a whole new spin on things. It was dangerous for them to be together. One of them was bound to slip. And when one slipped, the other would fall.
So now came the hard part. They shouldn’t be together. But if he wanted to see Trisha every day, they’d be seeing each other a lot.
And the question became: Did she trust him enough to let him be alone with Trisha? Because there was no way she could spend any more time with this Max, this new honest Max, without falling hopelessly, head-over-heels in love with him.
* * *
When daddy-visit, playdate day arrived, Max was ready. Annette had come with her two youngest children. Mrs. Gentry was in the kitchen making snacks. Stretched out on a chaise, wearing apricot-colored capris and a white tank top, was his mom.
He lightly kicked her chaise. “Where’s your swimsuit?”
