by Ben Alderson
He reached a hand over the small gap between us, and I grasped a hold of it. His blue hue was still warm, but not as overwhelming as yesterday. That was the first sign that Hadrian looked refreshed. The dark circles seemed to have receded.
“You look well rested.” I squeezed his hand and smiled.
He huffed and ran a tongue across his teeth. “As if this bench was a cloud. I do not remember when I fell asleep, but I know I did not wake for anything. It has been a long time since I have slept through the night like that.”
“You clearly needed it. You look… refreshed,” I added, giving him another look up and down. He knew what I meant. It was hard for him to hide how exhausted he was after yesterday’s battle.
We had a few moments of silence as the Inn was still quiet. His golden eyes pressed upon me, lighting me up from the inside out.
“I could get used to this view.” His voice was deep and rough as stone.
“Even with my knotted hair and morning breath?” I joked.
“Even with your knotted hair and morning breath,” he agreed.
He squeezed my hand a final time and released, swinging his legs over the side of the bench and stretching. His yawn made me yawn like a contagious sickness.
“How about I fetch us some warm apple ale before we go and assess our home for the next few days?” Hadrian stood and walked to the barman. As he passed me, he ruffled a hand through my hair. "Now, that is better."
Yesterday’s tension in Hadrian’s face had melted away, as if the events never occurred. We had not talked about his father since the temple, but I knew it would not have left his mind. I promised myself the conversation would be brought up later, and whatever Hadrian said, I would support. It’s the least I could do for him.
Hadrian came back and placed a wooden mug on the table before me. The sweet of the juice pleasantly dripped down my mouth, making my stomach growl. I needed a meal. My stomach screamed for one.
“The barmaid told me Jasrov is up and walking; I am going to go and see him. Will you be fine for a moment?” Hadrian asked.
“He is?” Whatever the Healer had done to him must have worked quickly.
“She told me he is still sensitive, but aware. I will not be long,” Hadrian stroked his hand across my cheek with a smile.
“I should go and help Nyah,” I said. “I am just as worried about Emaline as I am Jasrov. We should speak to her.”
“There was no mention of Emaline or Illera. Nyah stayed with Illera last night. If there was any issue, she would have told you already.” I must have pulled a face at the mention of Illera’s name, for Hadrian’s brows furrowed. "You still do not trust her, do you?"
"It is that obvious?" I ditched the empty mug on the table and stretched the sleep away.
"Do me a favor, Petal, and try with her. Until she gives us a reason not to trust her, she is one of us now."
I raised my hands in defeat. “I am not distrusting but more cautious. It would be foolish to forget the past and move on without more than a thought.”
“Foolish?” Hadrian scoffed. “Who knew that trusting someone is foolish. Were you foolish when you trusted me when we first met?”
“Hadrian, I am always a fool when it comes down to you.”
“A handsome fool,” Hadrian said as he leaned forward and placed a light kiss on my lips. I held my breath as he came in close, conscious of the unpleasant morning breath.
"I shall see you on the ship."
I couldn’t hold off any longer. I hobbled to the bar, gave the mug back, thanking the barmaid and the Innkeeper for their hospitality.
When I made it outside, I was surprised at the view before me. Where I sat with Nyah the night before was now the resting place for a boat, not a ship.
It was the color of moss, shaped like a curled leaf. The main mast bowed slightly with what seemed to be a folded cream material cocooned around it. On deck, I spotted Nyah’s halo of red curls, talking to a sailor. The sailor was an old elfin man with a hunched back and eyes full of adventure. His skin was weathered and mapped with wrinkles. Each one told a story, I was certain.
I also spotted Illera, her face laced with sweat as she carried folds of material and wooden crates from one place to another. She must have felt my stare because she looked up, smiled weakly, then got back to her task. Even she looked better than she had the night before.
Tearing my eyes away from the working Illera, I looked for Emaline, who was nowhere to be seen. The boat was not big, so I could scan it quickly. I was certain she was not on it. I looked back to her room and still saw no life within the window.
"Zac!"
Nyah caught me standing on the jetty and waved me forward, meeting me on the ramp up to the boat.
“Wonderful, isn’t it?” she proclaimed, turning arms full as if to show it off.
“It is… not what I expected,” I replied. “What type of boat is this?”
Her brows furrowed. “It is a cargo boat, used for transporting goods from town to village along the river. Queen Kathine informed me it’s the fastest mode of travel, especially with three Dragori on board.”
"Shouldn't that slow us down?" I questioned trying to spot what powered the boat. All I could see were oars leaning up against the boat’s sides. “I expected a ship.”
“A ship would be too obvious if anyone is looking for us. I thought better we stay as unnoticeable as possible.”
She linked her arm in mine and walked me on board. “I wasn’t going to mention this last night, but you each have a job to do over the next few days. Not that you would mind, would you?”
“What do you mean, a job?” I couldn’t tear my eyes of the minimalistic design. It was clear the lack of material used would help it move across the waters. With less weight, it would reach its destination faster than a bulking ship. It was inconspicuous also. The Druid would not expect us to be stowed away on a cargo boat.
“I just mean we are all going to have to pull our weight for a few days. Some more than others.” Nyah rolled her eyes at the last comment and clapped a hand on my back. “It will mainly be you and Emaline doing the work since your abilities are more favorable on a wooden boat.”
“Why can’t we get there with our griffins?” I asked. It made more sense to fly.
“The griffins should only carry one rider. With the added bags and the seven of us, including Bell, I think it best we don’t do that to them.”
“How about I tell you when Emaline is here, killing two birds with one stone and all that.”
I nodded in agreement. “Have you heard from her? I haven’t seen her since…”
Nyah looked over my shoulders and her face morphed from concern into a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. She shook her head and waved an arm. I turned to see what changed her tune so quickly and was greeted by Emaline walking up the jetty towards us.
It didn’t look like she got much sleep. She walked with a hunch and heavy step. Her arms clenched tight by her sides.
“Did you manage any sleep?” I asked as Emaline joined us.
“Sleep? I do not know what that is.” Her reply was firm. I noticed her long dark lashes seemed to be clumped together and the tip of her nose was red.
I reached a hand for the bag Emaline carried. Reluctantly, she gave it over.
“Listen, I do not want to spend the next however long stuck on a boat with constant stares my way. Can we just move on? It is hard enough without the reminders you all are giving me with your pitiful eyes.”
Emaline wrung her hands, her gaze stuck to her feet. "Put me to work. I would rather keep busy if you do not mind."
“There is one job you could do,” Nyah began. “The griffins, we no longer need them. Could you go and release them from their duties? And Zacriah, if you both go, you can carry the supplies back here.”
Nyah slipped something cold into my palm.
“I—” I tried to give an excuse, to say I was too busy to go with Emaline, but Nyah stopped me with a s
harp look.
"When do we leave?" Emaline asked.
“The sooner the better.”
Emaline nodded and turned. “Noted.”
She walked off first, and I hesitated to follow, until Nyah pushed my back.
"Talk to her," Nyah whispered as we both watched her walk off.
"What do I say? I'm not an empath; I might bring up the wrong thing... make it worse."
"You don't need my magick to make someone feel better," Nyah said. I looked in my palm and saw the acorn necklace. "Be yourself. Speak your truth. You will be surprised just how much listening can help those who don’t think they need to talk.”
I fisted the necklace and held it tight the entire walk to the hilltop beyond the village. The morning was bright and warm despite the coming chill of winter. The sun hung in the sky, unbothered by clouds. All I could see was blue and the occasional bird that danced above. I caught up to Emaline when she stopped in an open expanse of grass. A perfect space for three beasts to land.
It was Emaline who called for the griffins, all three arrived only moments after she whistled for them.
Jerk landed first, his amber feathered coat glistened in the sun. Like a pup, he bounded across the grass for me; his head twitched with excitement. I raised a hand to stop him, so I could stroke him a final time. I couldn’t predict how difficult this was going to be.
“Calm yourself,” I muttered, scratching beneath his beak.
Emaline was steps ahead of me, fussing over her griffin while Hadrian's chewed on a bush to our side, unfazed. If I had the power to read its mind, I would probably hear his relief when we said we would be leaving them. He was always the one who seemed to hate flying with us. Wild spirited, just like the boy who rode him. Did they even understand us? I never had thought about it.
I began to unclip the saddle from Jerk's back, pulling the empty pouches from his side until he was free. It was strange; I could almost see the confusion in his glassy eyes. Jerk turned his head like an intrigued pup and made a deep throat noise of displeasure.
“It’s time for you to be free,” I said, running a hand down his folded wing.
I leaned into his pointed ear. “Don’t tell anyone, but I’ve rather enjoyed having you around. I hope our paths cross again.”
Jerk raised his neck and sang into the sky. A flock of birds burst from the bush Hadrian’s griffin ate from, startling it.
"Shh," I whispered, placing my forehead on Jerk’s. "You are free now. Fly, swim, annoy your siblings. I had the pleasure of riding with you. Even if you threatened to dismount me midair almost every day."
Jerk chirped again. I looked into his dark, orb-like eyes, and he blinked, then turned and moved away.
I was about to go and unpack Hadrian's griffin when Emaline got there first. I helped her, working silently by her side. Every now and then I would look up, something to say on the tip of my tongue, but I didn’t build the courage to say anything.
By the time all three were free of their saddles and bags, I stood beside Emaline, and we watched them. All three were perched, staring at us as if waiting for a command that they had gotten accustomed to.
“Go,” Emaline whispered. I turned and could see her eyes were wet. “Go.”
Hadrian’s was the first to leave, followed swiftly by Emaline's. Jerk sat there, unmoving.
I stepped forward and tried to shoo him away with my arms, but he didn’t listen.
“Come on, Jerk. Explore, live, fall in love,” I said. “Do whatever it is you do, we no longer need you.”
I raised my airs, guiding the wind beneath him ever so gently. It urged him to stand.
“Goodbye, my friend.”
He sprang into the air and began chasing the others.
“Saying goodbye is harder each time it happens,” Emaline whispered. “I wonder if it will ever get easier.”
"I don't think it will ever become easier," I answered, watching our griffins become no more than dots.
Emaline expelled a tempered breath. "It is still strange. I keep thinking she will be there when I return. But then it hits me. It does not feel real."
“I am sorry for your loss,” I replied, pulling the necklace from my breast pocket and passed it to her. "Nesta gave this to Nyah. She wanted you to have it. Nyah looked after it until now."
She was speechless for a moment as she stared down into her open palm. Then she fisted it and placed her hand over her heart. "It was the promise I gave her years ago. A promise I have failed in keeping."
"She meant a lot to you..." I remembered the promise Queen Kathine gave Hadrian before we left Kandilin.
"More than words could ever explain."
“Nyah told me that you were like sisters, close from childhood. I can’t imagine what you are going through.” I turned to look at her, but her face was kept forward. A single tear rolled down her dark cheek until the collar of her tunic absorbed it.
“She was everything to me in so many ways. For me, the way I love is different to most. My relationship with Nesta was beyond sexual, for those are feelings that I do not experience. But I still love. My heart is hers; my soul will always be hers. It has been many years since we were in a relationship. After she left for Lilioira to train, we parted ways as friends. Nesta was my sister, my friend, and now, she will be my guardian.” Emaline cried fearlessly, tears rolling down her grief-stricken face.
I felt the lump in my throat grow and my vision blur as I shared in her emotion.
I wrapped my arm around her. She rested her head on my shoulder and let her tears flow. We stood like that a while, unmoving.
“You loved her?” I asked.
I felt her nod her head, my shoulder damp.
“In ways I never knew possible,” she said.
I knew someone in Horith who shared the same feelings as Emaline. He once explained to me how he did not feel sexual attraction, but that was it. He was still valid. His feelings, love and emotions. All valid. He still loved and even when I left my home he had been in partnership with the baker’s daughter for countless years.
"You are valid," I said.
“Nesta accepted me. She respected the way I loved. When I broke off the relationship, it was because I simply did not love her like that anymore. I realized when she left for the city to train that it was better as sisters, as friends.”
“No matter what Nesta was, it will be hard. I want you to know we are all here for you. Let us share in this with you, to help take the pressure of this grief off your shoulders.”
“Thank you.” She lifted her hand and looked at me. Her ocean eyes wet, lashes clumped together.
“What are friends for?” I said, smiling.
I felt more connected to Emaline.
“We should head back.” Emaline pocketed the necklace and picked up four sacks. Two on each arm.
“Are you ready? Because they can wait if you are not,” I whispered.
She nodded. “I feel better than I did. Thank you for listening to me.”
“Always.”
The walk back to the boat was full of memories and moments Emaline shared with me. She told me of a time when she and Nesta worked in a bakery in Kandilin over the winter periods, rolling dough until they were dusted in flour. She told me about Nesta's partner. Nesta had met him in Lilioira during her training and had since shared a long-distance relationship. Emaline explained she had met him once and believed he was perfect for Nesta. She worried that he had not heard news about Nesta's death. She would have to tell him.
We laughed when we spoke of the childish games they placed with peaches and bats. And cried when she told me of her heartache the first time Nesta left home alone to join the Queen’s faction of soldiers. Emaline told me about the beautiful way she loved and the open mind she had for others. If everyone was more like her in even the smallest of ways, the world would be a much better place.
By the time we reached the boat, I felt like I knew Nesta on a whole other level than I had before. Emaline p
lanted a kiss on my cheek and left me on the jetty. I watched her go, my heart full after our encounter.
Nyah smiled at me from the stern of the boat, a knowing expression crossing over her heart-shaped face. It was Illera who greeted Emaline when she walked on the boat. There was something in Illera's eyes that had me questioning her. She faltered in her jobs as Emaline passed her and almost forgot what she was doing. It was only when Emaline moved off did Illera regain her composure and carry on.
MY HEART LEAPED when I caught eyes with Jasrov. He was sitting on a bench beside Nyah, who was busy chatting with him. From this distance, I heard his laugh as he threw his head back at something she said. Typical Nyah. Making someone laugh only hours after their health was in dire need.
I wanted to speak to him the moment I saw him, but I was with Emaline, helping her get settled for her first shift.
Nyah had explained that Emaline and I would take turns guiding the boat. She said with our magick combined, we would reach the bay closest to Lilioira faster than we would if we each had to row. Emaline offered to go first, using her connection with water to guide the boat from the jetty, through the lake and onto the river that led north. I promised I would take over at sunset, but by midday, Emaline was exhausted. Using that much power for a prolonged time drained her. I took over, until my own body refused to listen before sundown.
“…and Bell, I found her when I needed her most—” Jasrov stopped his conversation with Nyah the moment I walked up to him. He stood up, a slight twinge of pain crossing his face, and enveloped me in a hug.
“Can you believe I helped fight?” he said, joy plastered across his face. “I managed to slice the heads off four of them. I counted! Four! I mean, it was easy, of course, but still I can’t believe I managed it.”
I helped him sit, the bruise on the side of his head a patchwork of faded yellows and browns. “You did well. But you still need to relax.”
I sat him back down. “I see you have met Nyah.”
He blushed. “I have.”
“You spoke about me before?” Nyah asked, biting her bottom lip as she got lost in the view.
“Nothing but good things, I can assure you,” Jasrov said quickly.
