"What's up, Mom?” Lee asked.
Maggie hurried to the coat rack in front of the mirror on the wall by the door, and pulled a transparent orange scarf off one of the hooks. Looking into the mirror she carefully tied the scarf over her hair.
"I thought they cancelled that show,” Maggie said patting and primping the scarf into position. “I used to watch that program when I was a kid."
Lee peeled himself up from his chair and ambled over to the door.
"And where do you think you're going?” Maggie asked. At last satisfied with her hair she opened the screen door.
"I'm going to go over to Ronnie's,” Lee replied.
"Oh no you're not.” Maggie stepped outside onto the porch. “You're going to stay here with your sister until I get back."
"Aw, Maggie,” he said stressing the Maggie as much as the long “Awww."
"I won't be long.” Maggie pulled a pair of sunglasses from her purse and carefully inserted the earpieces between the scarf and her hair. “I put a chicken in the oven. You'll need to check it. If I'm not back in half an hour turn the stove down to two fifty."
Satisfied her scarf and glasses combination were just right, she turned and gave Lee a pout. “You didn't even say anything about my hair."
That's why they were late getting home, Lee realized. They'd gone to the beauty parlor then the grocery store. As always Maggie hadn't said anything, preferring to wait until someone noticed or she got mad, whichever came first. Usually it was the getting mad that came first.
"Looks great, Mom!” he called out to her back, as she strutted down to the car swinging her purse.
"We'll see if your father notices,” she said without looking back.
As soon as she was gone, Lee ran to the phone and dialed his dad's number at work.
After warning his dad he plopped back down to finish watching Lucky Pup.
Maggie was beaming as she came in. She looked at Patty and winked. Ted followed her in and gave Lee a big smile and a push on his shoulder as he passed by.
"I owe you, son,” he whispered.
Dinner was exactly what Lee needed. He loved chicken. He could eat chicken every night. Maggie had boiled up a big pot of greens with bacon, and Lee had a double heaping helping. They had an established pecking order to the distribution of the chicken. Ted got the breast, Maggie got the thighs, Patty loved the wings, and Lee was partial to the drumsticks. Anyone who was still hungry could wrestle with the neck and back if they felt it was worth the effort.
Tonight it seemed that everyone wanted to talk at once. But it was Ted who took the lead.
"You won't believe what happened today at work,” Ted was grinning and chewing his chicken. “We've been working on the Shilt Candle Company catalog. Old Myron Shilt took it over himself this year. The guy never likes anything. The blues are washed out, or the red isn't bright enough. The paper's too gray, or it's too something or other. The guy just goes on and on."
Ted stopped and took another bite. He chewed just a cursory couple of times, then swallowed. “He even did some of the photography himself. I guess his wife gave him a fancy new camera for his birthday, and he thinks he's an Ansel Adams or something."
"A who?” asked Maggie.
Ted swallowed another chunk and shook his head. “It doesn't matter. Anyway, he took the cover photo himself. He was real proud of it too. Set up a shot of the front of their building with the Little League team they sponsor out front wearing the t-shirts he had made up.” Ted started to laugh and almost choked on a big bite, he again, had neglected to chew. He got up and went to his satchel on the table and pulled a catalog out, thumping himself on the back with one hand as he coughed.
"Look at this,” he managed to choke out. He tossed the catalog down on the table.
Maggie picked it up and looked long and hard. Her face showed she hadn't seen anything.
Lee leaned over and took it.
"Let me see! Let me see!” squealed Patty.
Ted continued to cough.
"Are you all right?” asked Maggie. “Drink some water."
Lee looked at the front cover but didn't see anything either.
"Let me see!” squealed Patty.
Ted leaned back in his chair and took great gulps of his water, draining the glass.
Lee handed the catalog over to Patty, who grabbed it with her greasy fingers, nearly dropping it in her plate. Once she had it she didn't know what to do with it.
The water must have done the trick as Ted's coughing fit slowed, though his face had achieved quite a deep color of red.
"Y'all didn't see it either?” he asked smiling.
They all shook their heads.
Ted took the catalog back from Patty and held it out so they could see the big picture on the front cover. “Look at the boy in the center.” Ted put his finger below one of the Little League team's players who was kneeling down in the very front. “What's his shirt say?"
They all leaned in closer, looking at the boy.
Lee and Maggie saw it at the same instant. Of course Patty really hadn't started to read so she still saw nothing.
A big grin spread out across Lee's face, matching his dad's. Maggie bit her lip and shook her head.
Across the boy's chest a section of the t-shirt he was wearing had creased. The “L” in Shilt was folded over and once you saw it there was no mistaking that his shirt now read “SHIT CANDLE COMPANY."
Ted started to laugh again.
"That's terrible,” said Maggie. “You mean nobody caught it?"
"No,” said Ted. “Old Mr. Shilt took the photo, approved the proofs, and personally checked the cover when it ran on press. Everything has his signature on it. It was one of the boys in the shipping department who caught it, just as they were loading the boxes on the truck going to the mail house."
"What'll they do?” asked Maggie.
"They'll have to reprint it. I mean, come on, look what it says. You can't send that out."
Ted turned the catalog over to look at the front picture a moment. “I love it!” he concluded, grinning broadly. “I think I'll frame it."
Lee started to speak, but Maggie cut him off.
"Well Patty and I had quite a day ourselves, didn't we Patty?” Maggie said, seizing her opportunity.
Patty perked up and nodded vigorously.
"Before we went to the grocery store, we stopped in at Millie's to get our hair done."
"Looks good too,” Ted stuck in quickly. “Yours too, Patty."
Patty shook her head back and forth, letting her pageboy haircut swish back and forth. “Mama says I look like Haley Mills."
"You look just like your mamma. Cute as a button."
Maggie gave Ted a suspicious look. “Well, at least this time you noticed,” she glared over at Lee. “That's more than I can say for some people."
Lee concentrated on his chicken.
"And anyway, you aren't going to believe the story I've got to tell."
Lee and his dad looked to each other, no words necessary.
Patty lost control and started to giggle, her mouth full of food. “Tell ‘em Mamma, tell ‘em!"
"I will. I will.” Maggie squirmed in her chair. She was so excited to be telling a story. “Well let me tell y'all, Millie's was packed today. There must have been ten other women in there, besides me and Patty. I've never seen it so busy, all five dryers were full up."
Lee could just see it. Fortunately, it'd been a while since he'd been dragged along to Millie's Beauty Salon. But he could remember it like yesterday, especially the smell. The place had a sour, chemical reek that sometimes made his eyes water just to think of it.
Millie's was one of those cinderblock buildings that stood alone in the corner of the shopping center parking lot. Inside, all the cement walls were a creamy pink, and the water-stained, acoustic tile ceiling was missing a few panels here and there. They had a few dusty, artificial plants lurking in corners and generally sagging about, looking dry. Along with th
e peculiar smell, he remembered it as always being noisy inside. And there wasn't a decent magazine for a boy to read in the whole place.
There were two stylists, Sue and Peggy. Sue was a short, stout woman and an unnatural platinum blonde. Her hair was the color of Christmas tree tinsel. She was so short she had two phone books taped together in the front seat of her car to help her see over the dash and wooden blocks glued to the gas pedal and brake so her feet could touch. She worked at her chair, standing atop a wooden box. When she needed to change positions, she dismounted, kicked the thing to where she needed it, and climbed back aboard. She was the undisputed emcee, directing the flow of conversation like a prima donna talk show host. Helping her to maintain control of the conversations, she wielded a whooping, hoot of a laugh that could cut through the din of the whirring dryers as easily as her chrome-plated scissors snipped hair. And she could laugh at anything. She laughed so much her round face had lines permanently creased, spreading out in rays out and around her eyes and mouth.
Peggy, the other stylist, was dark and woefully thin. Her arms looked like they might just break in two if she moved them too quickly. She was always injecting a refrain between Sue's cackles, with a high-pitched I do declare! or Heavens me! And of course, the ever favorite, as I live and breathe! rounding out her repertoire.
Lee remembered he liked to play a game with himself, attempting to guess which of the three phrases would be next, when he had been forced to sit in a chair waiting and waiting, while the gossip flowed as hot and steamy as the coffee.
A side item to Peggy's personality was Peggy was partial to frogs. All about her work area were ceramic frogs, paper mache frogs, rubber, squeaking and plastic frogs; even one of blown glass she said had come all the way from Paris, France. The woman smoked constantly while she worked only stopping to snack on little candies. She consumed three packs of Kool menthols a day, and a half pound of candies. Always nearby, on the table by her chair and next to the shampoo sink, were ashtrays filled to overflowing with a mixture of wadded up Brach's candy wrappers and crushed Kool butts.
Millie, the shop's owner, was older than either of her two stylists and had silver-blue hair, which she wore all ratted up. Her hair was so fine and teased up into such a nest that it always reminded Lee of a king sized cotton candy from the circus. Millie occupied a chair at the table near the front window. She did the manicures, always reminding any who would listen, that she'd had to give up hair styling, even though she loved it, as all the standing was bad for her varicose veins. Then she'd hike up her skirt and show off the improvements. Lee was always glad he'd never seen Millie's legs before she'd taken to sitting down.
Though each seemed different, the three ladies had one interest other than the personal business of everyone in Lenoir. They lived for bowling. Their team was the “Clippers,” and they bowled every Friday night at the Downtown Lanes. Every shelf and table in the place held at least one dusty trophy, some of them dating back ten years or more before Lee was even born.
"Tell ‘em Mom,” said Patty giggling. “Tell ‘em what happened."
"I will, honey. I will. Just give me a chance, sweetie,” said Maggie. She put her knife and fork down angling each along the rim of her plate.
Lee and his dad continued to eat.
"Well, of all people, who do you guess was there today?"
Lee shrugged his shoulders and Ted made a point of demonstrating his mouth was conveniently full.
Maggie made it plain she wanted someone to guess.
"Elvis Presley,” Ted finally managed.
"Yeah, Elvis!” Lee chimed in.
"Margaret,” Maggie said, her exasperation showing. She hated Rock and Roll. “Margaret Ringle that's who."
Lee picked up on this; now he was interested.
"We had appointments,” Patty said pertly.
"Good thing, too,” Maggie added. “We'd still be waiting if we hadn't."
"No wonder, if Elvis was there,” Lee interjected.
Maggie scowled and his dad shook his head.
Lee slunk down in his chair.
"May I continue?"
Lee knew that when Maggie made a point to say: “may I,” it was time to be quiet.
Lee nodded, keeping his eyes down on his plate.
"Where was I?” Maggie was distracted.
"Margaret Ringle,” Ted said.
"Oh yes. She was next, just behind Patty and me.” Maggie looked at Patty. “Did you notice how she kept glaring up at me all the while I was in the chair, like it was my fault she had to wait."
Patty nodded sympathetically.
"Well, anyway,” continued Maggie, “Sue finished up with Patty, and Mrs. Ringle took Patty's chair when Patty got up. Well, wouldn't you know, as soon as she sits down, she starts going on about all her troubles with the boys in the neighborhood, and she's looking at me the whole time."
Maggie glared again at Lee.
"I haven't done anything,” he defended. “I've been working at Mrs. Ballard's."
"I didn't accuse you,” replied Maggie. “But she named you, Ronnie and that awful Art; she said you're the ring leader."
Lee fought hard not to smile at the compliment.
"She also said,” continued Maggie, “that she had all new carpet installed on Saturday. She bought it on sale at Patterson's, and the work men must have left the doors open or something, because Sunday after she got home from church, she noticed her house was crawling with vermin."
Patty started to giggle again.
Lee did his best not to.
"Vermin?” asked Ted. “What do you mean?"
"Lizards and toads, bugs and stuff,” replied Maggie. “She says she was sitting on her sofa Sunday afternoon after church and saw a toad go hopping out from under her china hutch. She said she went to get a broom to swat it with and there were two more in the pantry. One of them was as big as this.” Maggie held her thumbs and forefingers out to make a circle.
Lee kept his face down to his plate and tried to keep his mouth full and chewing. He remembered catching that one himself. It had been hiding in the long grass by the gas meter on the side of their house.
"It had warts too,” chimed in Patty. “Toads have warts, and so does Mrs. Ringle. Do you think she got warts by touching a toad, Daddy?"
"I'd imagine so,” replied Ted, looking earnestly at his daughter. “Maybe even kissing one. That's what folks say anyway."
Patty rolled her eyes and let out with a long, “Ewwww."
Maggie pressed on. “Margaret said while she was taking her bath a lizard crawled out between the folds of the shower curtain and fell plop down into the water."
Ted started to laugh.
"It's not funny, Ted,” Maggie tried to sound serious. “She's elderly. She could have been frightened and slipped or something."
"My sympathy is with the lizard if it had to see her naked,” said Ted.
Maggie halfheartedly tried to give him her pained look, as Patty went into a hilarious fit as she did whenever someone mentioned the word naked.
At this point Lee knew he was free to grin and laugh without suspicion.
"Calm down, Patty,” Maggie sighed exasperated. “Anyway,” Maggie continued, “she said the place was positively infested. ‘Crawlin’ with vermin’ is how she described it. She said she was afraid to go to bed that something might crawl across her face during the night. But being Sunday, what could she do? Everything was closed."
Lee couldn't help it; he laughed spitting greens onto his plate.
Ted looked at Lee suspiciously. “You all right, son?"
Lee reached for a drink of his water. “Something went down the wrong way."
"Well what'd she do?” Ted switched his attention back to Maggie.
"She said she called the Sheriff's office, but they told her to call an exterminator on Monday."
"They could've sent Fat Larry over,” said Lee looking up. “He could stomp on ‘em for her."
Ted grinned. “It might m
ake a mess of her new carpet though."
"Do you two want me to tell this?” Maggie glared.
Lee and his dad fell silent.
Maggie made everyone wait while she took a bite of chicken, chewed and swallowed. She daubed her mouth with her napkin, then continued. “She said the worst was in the morning when she felt something in the covers and pulled back the sheet to find a big, old striped-yellow garter snake in the bed. It must have crawled in for the warmth in the night."
Maggie held out her arms spreading them apart as far as she could. “She said it was this long!"
"Damn!” said Ted. “A world record."
Lee knew none of the snakes they had dumped through her mail slot were quite that long. That had to be an exaggeration.
"Well of course, by now, everyone in the place was listening to her. And telling it she had worked herself up to almost being hysterical she was so upset. She said she had gone straight to her lawyer first thing and was going to make Patterson's pay for having her whole house fumigated."
Lee tried to keep his shoulders from shaking as he suppressed a laugh.
Ted shook his head.
"It gets worse,” said Maggie making eye contact with her giggling daughter.
"Well Sue, you know her. She said that's the worst thing she had ever heard, and Peggy agreed with an: ‘I do declare. I never. I never in my life heard of such a thing.’”
Everyone at the table could recognize the ring to Peggy's backwoods drawl as Maggie managed a pretty fair imitation.
"Say it again, Momma?” asked Patty, now giggling and hiccupping at the same time.
"I do declare!” Maggie pealed, getting the accent just right the second time.
Lee was laughing outright.
"Then, you won't believe what comes next,” said Maggie, obviously very pleased with herself over her impersonation. “You just won't believe it."
Lee and his dad were on the edge of their chairs ready to believe.
Patty was on the verge of major hysterics.
"Sue leans Mrs. Ringle back into the shampoo sink. Then she picks up the hose and no sooner does she start to spray her hair than this green lizard jumps out and lands smack dab on Sue's arm."
Evil Heights, Book I: The Midnight Flyer Page 23
