He springs forward, grabbing Julien’s back, eliciting a cry of pain and shock. Julien rolls away from me, turning over to face the enemy he left for dead. “Zeke,” I barely manage to whisper, but he only stares at me with that same look of pleading on his frail face.
“Go. Run, Willa!”
He doesn’t understand—I can’t escape now even if I wanted to run. I can barely feel my limbs, let alone gather up enough strength to stand on them. Julien turns over as Zeke hunches forward, preparing for another attack.
He glances back at me, yelling hastily. “Damn it, Willa. Heal yourself!”
He turns back to the raging monster who is slowly finding his balance. He leaps back into Julien’s path as I close my eyes. I concentrate my thoughts, but my mind is as weak as my body. The harder I try, the worse my condition becomes. It isn’t until I linger on the edge of consciousness that I first see her face.
It’s my mother. We are back at my house. She smiles at me, her golden hair blowing in the breeze that circles around us.
“Wilhelmina.” She extends her hand to me. “You found your way home.”
I reach for her, but I can’t move. My hands are blocks of stone.
“I know you’ve been looking for me. I know I left you with so many unanswered questions.”
I attempt to speak, to spout out the thousands of things I want to ask her, but my voice is lost.
“I never meant for you to be the one to find Priscilla. It was my burden, but as with all things with you, I failed. Now you must bear the consequences of my mistakes again.”
I weep silently, begging with whatever force brought her back to me to allow me to speak, to move so I might touch her.
“You are stronger than me, Wilhelmina. Circumstance has made you a powerful woman, and with patience you will be a more powerful witch.” She steps toward me with slow, precise movements. “Trust your family, sweetie. Go find your sun, because you will need them all before the end.”
She bends down in front of me, her fingers touching my cheek. “Go,” she whispers, “go back and fight for them.”
I gasp as her skin comes into contact with mine. Fresh air rushes to my deprived lungs, and life returns to my body. My eyes flash open to see Zeke and Julien locked in battle. Julien is overpowering Zeke’s frail and wounded body. He lies pinned to the ground.
I no longer bleed, but I can still feel the pain of the point of contact. I stumble to my feet, my renewed body still unsteady. Julien poises himself above Zeke, that look of ruthless hatred blazing in his eyes. Zeke is hurt. He is hurt so much worse than I expected, even after surviving that first fight.
I know what Julien has planned for him. I know without an ounce of doubt that he will make sure Zeke doesn’t survive this time. I step forward, reaching out my hand to cast whatever spell I can manage, but Zeke lets out one last desperate plea.
“Please, Wilhelmina,” he croaks as Julien jerks his neck to the side. “Let me save you.”
Julien growls, shifting Zeke’s weak frame backward, his hands wrapping around his neck. How can I make this choice between my best friend and my own life?
“Let me save you.”
Zeke looks at me. Begging me.
I turn without thinking.
I can’t watch the light fade from his eyes. I make sure his last vision is of me heeding his words and letting him die my hero.
Tears well in my eyes. I run to the building’s edge and hop over the ledge to the low rooftop beneath it. The last thing I hear is a low but steady, “Thank you.”
I climb through the maze of buildings, in what direction I don’t know. I only know my friend has died for me.
Julien won’t linger. He won’t put a second’s thought into what he’s done or the pain he’s caused me. His next thought will only be how he can find me.
I don’t know how I make it down to the street. A random fire escape, or maybe I just jumped. I dart down dark alleyways and back streets following the lights of downtown. By the time I emerge at the corner of Main Street, I’m gasping for breath. I look in every direction, unsure of where I should go now. I finally fall to my knees, unable to continue as my power churns inside me like a boiling stew of emotions.
Strangers walk by, daring glances at me, and I’m sure I’m a frightening sight. A young girl, alone in the city, wearing a tattered ball gown covered in her own blood, crying as if her soul has been ripped from her body. I don’t think I would have stopped to offer me help either. I sit on the sidewalk completely alone. I wail out my sorrow for hours on end until the sun and Reid find me.
Chapter 22
FINDING THE SUN
Despite all the magical help Sera can provide, my body still aches. All of my physical wounds have long healed. It’s the ones I feel deep inside my broken heart that continue to throb. I’ve been back in Frog Hollow for two weeks, and though I left the house for Zeke’s funeral, it doesn’t mean I’m functioning normally again. What little progress I made back toward my former sanity disappeared the second I laid those daisies on Zeke’s grave.
One day I will go back. I will manage to fully express my gratitude and love to my lost hero. For now, I merely try to survive the day with my sense of reality still intact.
Reid forces me to eat.
The pains of hunger are dull compared to everything else. I can’t close my eyes without seeing Zeke’s face or hearing the deep, maniacal ring of Julien’s voice. I feel his breath on my neck and his cold, unaffectionate touch on my skin as he prepared to take my life.
My Julien, gone. Forever.
I roll over in my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I’m blank, completely void of the ability to be human, let alone normal. Abby lies only inches away from me. I smell her familiar perfume, but I don’t acknowledge her.
I feel horrible about the poor state of my condition. I don’t want her, Reid, or anyone else to be worrying about me. I want them to focus their attention on Sadie, because she is who needs them most right now.
At some point during one of my many nightly tirades, I managed to coherently mumble out what happened on that rooftop. Sadie must hate me now.
I hate me.
I don’t deserve my family’s concern or affectionate attention, because that love deserves to be directed to Zeke’s widow, whose misfortune I created. To prove my point, I kick Abby in an attempt to push her off the bed.
“Stop it.” She kicks me back. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I groan, hiding my face in my pillow. Before I am able to force myself back into the haze that makes the pain slowly drift away, Abby pulls me back over. “You’re getting up today,” she says flatly, brushing her messy hair out of her face. “So we might as well go start breakfast.”
I peer up at her from underneath my lashes, tears and panic already threatening to brim over at the thought of leaving the safe sanctuary of my bed. Outside that bedroom door is a life I’m not ready to live yet.
Outside that door, Zeke is gone, killed at the hands of Julien, who now bears the curse of his father. Abby softens at the fear in my eyes and sighs. “It’s just breakfast,” she says. “It will still be just breakfast sitting at the table downstairs, rather than in your bed.”
I wince, and her shoulders straighten.
“Do I need to call Reid again?”
I immediately start to scramble out of bed, and she snorts. The last time I refused breakfast, Reid carried me downstairs kicking and screaming and then forced me to eat no less than five pancakes. I grab a sweatshirt and throw it on, following Abby down the steps. I stop mid-stride.
Sadie stands at the stove, her hair swept up with a string of lilies weaved through the braid across her shoulder. I gasp at how normal she looks. I haven’t seen her since Zeke’s funeral. She’d been a total mess then. The complete opposite of the smiling figure I see now.
She notices the shock in my eyes and gestures for me to take a seat at the table. Abby takes over at the stove as I continue to stare at Sadie’s face. T
here are no signs of her grief. There are no red, swollen eyes or trembling hands. She reaches up and gently brushes my cheek.
“I don’t blame you, Willa.” She looks sadly at me but tries to smile. “Please, trust me when I say that.”
I swallow hard, my shameful eyes dropping down to my hands. “How did you—” I begin to ask, but she cuts me off.
“You talk in your sleep now,” she says. “And you’ve been worrying about it for days.”
I shoot an accusing glance at Abby, who avoids my glare. “But—” I start, only to find my excuses ignored.
“It’s time we start living our lives again, Willa.” She holds our hands together, squeezing them gently. “It’s what Zeke wanted. I promised him I wouldn’t let it ruin me. I told him I would find a way to be happy again. I know he would want that for you too, and so would Julien.”
I let out a strained breath, my insides knotting together. “It’s so hard.”
Sadie pulls me into a hug. “But it’s not impossible, and trust me, I have to keep telling myself that every other second. We have to take this one day at a time, but most importantly, we have to do it together. I told Zeke I would take care of you, and that’s what I’m here to do.”
“Take care of me?” I step back, shocked. “Oh, Sadie, it should have been me at your house pulling you out of bed, not the other way around.”
She shushes me just as I imagine a mother would do to her child. “I’ve been preparing myself for this for a long time,” she explains. “And Zeke knew you would take it the hardest. You’ve never been close enough to anyone to know the pain of losing them. We all promised him we wouldn’t let his death be the reason you never bonded with anyone again.”
Even in death, Zeke continues to counsel me, and more importantly, save me from myself. I’ve been hiding from the world, using my grief as an excuse to deprive myself of my family’s love. I don’t think I will ever get used to having people care so much about me or get over losing them when the time comes. However, Zeke is right. I can’t let the pain push me away from them. Their unconditional love has changed me in ways I never thought possible, and with them, life will go on.
I lean back, watching as Abby brings over a steaming bowl of oatmeal. “After breakfast, I think I might take a shower,” I say, reaching for my spoon.
Their eyes light up with hope and shine with the threat of tears. “Good,” Sadie says, patting my shoulder. “That’s a start.”
Abby joins us at the table, and we eat quietly, until I look up and notice the girls having a silent conversation with their eyes. I raise an eyebrow in question, waiting to be let in on the secret.
“I think we should tell her,” Abby says, looking to Sadie.
She only nods in return as she begins to eat again. “Tell me what?” I ask, wracking my brain for clues of what she could mean. I worry I have missed something of vital importance.
“It’s time for the summer solstice.” Abby smiles, motioning toward the dresses and flowers they wear. “They’re holding the ceremony in Mom’s back yard tonight.”
My eyes widen as I take in what that means, and my fingers absently reach for the moon charm on my necklace. “Y-you mean—” I stutter but can’t even finish my sentence.
“Tonight we will find your sun,” Sadie finishes for me. “That is, if you’re ready.”
Something stirs inside me, an almost foreign emotion. I feel guilty for being excited, and it must show on my face. “Be happy,” Sadie says quickly. “Today is meant for celebration. He’d be disappointed to think we missed it because of him.”
Her fingers twist the diamond ring she wears, and I know it’s true. If I truly want to honor Zeke’s memory, I will enjoy the life his death made possible.
“I am ready.” I shove a giant spoon of oatmeal in my mouth.
***
By that evening, Abby has worked her magic until I look halfway human again. She chose a long, flowing lace dress that matches the lilacs she weaved into my hair. Sadie holds my hand the entire drive over and is quick to offer support when I see the driveway is already full of cars. I scan the house from inside the car. “How many people will be here?”
“About forty in total. Only a handful will be participating in the ceremony.”
My heart beats wildly in my chest as I exit the car, and when I find Reid waiting for me at the door, I’m relieved.
I throw myself at him.
Warm. Heart beating. I swear never to leave him again.
The girls go out back to join Sera and the arriving guests, leaving Reid and me alone in the house. He leads me over to a small armchair in the living room, dropping down to his knees to look me in the eye. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
He searches my face. I want to kiss him. I want to kiss him and tell him all the things I should have said. All the things I almost never got to say.
I stroke my hand down his cheek, promising myself I will make time to do all those things. “I’m ready.”
“You don’t have to do this today,” he says simply, still worried.
His constant concern for me warms my wounded heart. I will never be able to forget or repay him for everything he’s done, but I promise myself I will try. “Should you even be here?” I smile, trying to sound playful. “I thought this was a girls only event.”
He rolls his eyes, huffing indignantly. “Technicality.”
I cup his face in my hands, brushing his hair out of his eyes with my thumbs. “I will be okay,” I say. “I want to do this.”
He turns his lips into my palm and kisses it gently. “Okay, I trust you.”
I scoot up to the edge of the seat so I can hug him. He wraps his arms around my waist, squeezing me so tightly I think I might lose my breath. “Will you walk me out?”
He pulls away, smiling sadly at me. “If I must. I wasn’t quite ready to give you up.”
“There is always tomorrow.” I touch his face, his lips. I’ve missed all of him. “I’m going to try and make this appearing normal thing a regular show.”
He takes my hand as we walk silently through the house. He stands behind me as I peek out the screen door at the crowd of women in the back yard. I spot my family immediately.
Sera, Jade, Abby, and Sadie are spread amongst the others, while Cari stands off to the side with Julie. Julie looks especially nervous, and I wonder why until I remember she is one of the nine participating in the ceremony tonight.
“I wish Julie could have been the one.” I search for anyone else who looks uncomfortable as I feel.
When Reid doesn’t respond, I look back to find him staring at me in a way that makes me think he hasn’t heard a word I’ve said.
“Reid?”
He blinks as if coming out of a daze, his fingers flickering up to the flowers in the braid that runs along my temple. “You look so beautiful.”
He leans down, and for one brief moment I think he might kiss me, but at the last second he leans left and brushes his lips across my cheek. “I hope this makes you happy.”
I catch his face before he can turn away, because I can’t let him leave without knowing the truth. “I’m already happy.”
His gaze drops to the floor, a hint of blush flashing across his bronze skin. “Go on,” he says. “Before I decide to just take you with me.”
We laugh, and I hug him one last time before walking out to the others. It’s an almost overwhelming feeling being around that much power. I thought I might feel out of place, but as soon as they all turn and smile, I know I’m home.
Sera comes to greet me, obviously happy to see me out and walking around. “We’ve been waiting for you,” she says, gliding easily into my arms.
I glance over my shoulder, but Reid is gone. I take a deep breath and wrap my arms around Sera. “Well, I’ve been waiting on them too,” I say. “Introduce me to everyone.”
It takes me almost an hour, but I meet every single Innocent at the ceremony, having an in-depth conversation with each of t
hem either about my mother’s legacy or the one I will surely leave myself.
It’s easier than I thought to push back the flashes of memories of Julien and Zeke, and I account it to the excitement I feel at meeting the other girls who will participate in the ceremony. We are all relatively the same age, ranging from twenty-one to twenty-five.
When the sun begins to set, Sadie and Abby find me in the crowd and pull me to the side. Everyone forms a giant circle as Abby instructs the nine of us in the ceremony to form a small circle in the middle. We kneel as Jade comes around and adds more flowers to our hair. “Lilacs,” she tells me, “are a legacy of your family line, as lilies are of mine. You wear them tonight to honor the women who came before you.”
I smile nervously as Sera steps into my view. She hands me a vial of the familiar blue liquid, which I already know will turn me green under the moonlight, along with a small stone, instructing me to hold it out in the palm of my hand. “Don’t move or leave the circle until instructed to do so,” she says with a smile. “First we will officially welcome you to the family.”
I examine the rock as she steps back into the larger circle that surrounds us. It’s some form of granite with a thin circle carved in the center. Everyone remains quiet as the sun sinks behind the horizon. As darkness approaches, I hear a quiet hum around me, and as their voices rise, I make out their words.
“Children of the sun and moon, though born at midnight or under the light of noon, each will carry the trait of their mother, and tonight find their companion among one another.”
Suddenly the rock in my hand glows a brilliant red, like flames have suddenly burst from its core. I glance nervously around to find all the rocks in the circle have caught on fire. Sera instructs us to set the stone in front of us, so I carefully lay it in the grass. The women begin to sing again, and the fire grows around us, each stone connecting until we are encircled in flames. Darkness grows steadily, but there is still a hazy fog that covers the moon.
Frog Hollow (Witches of Sanctuary Book 1) Page 24
