by Janette Oke
I went the usual route, picked up the papers at the post office, shuffled through the mail, and my eyes lit up as they fell on an envelope from South Africa. It was from Willie! And then my whole body went numb.
But Willie is dead! Willie is no longer in South Africa!
I looked at the postmark. It was dated several weeks back. Somewhere the letter had been held up.
I put the letter in my coat pocket. I wonder if I’ll even be able
to read it, I thought. But at the same time I knew that there was no way on earth I could keep from reading it.
I didn’t open the letter until after I had arrived home, cared for the team, done the chores, had my supper, and retired for the night. I didn’t tell anyone about it either—I wasn’t sure how its contents were going to affect me.
At last I opened it slowly and let my eyes drift over the familiar script. My hands were shaking as I held the pages to the light of the kerosene lamp.
Willie, in the usual fashion, wrote about the people he was getting to know, how they were learning to trust him and listen when he talked to them about Jesus. His love showed in every word he spoke. You could tell Willie was happy that God had called him to South Africa.
He made comments about my last letter and asked questions about my family and the community. He sent his love to Mary and even teased me a bit about having two eligible young ladies in the household.
Then he began to talk about Camellia. How happy and blessed I am that God brought us together! I always cared for Camellia—right from the first day that she came to our school.
I watched silently as you and Camellia became friends, both sad and happy at the same time.
And now God has turned everything around; Camellia is going to be my wife. I can hardly believe the way I have been blessed; I hope with all my heart that you haven’t been hurt. It will be a long time yet before Camellia can join me; I’m counting every hour, but God is making the busy days pass quickly, and before we know it, she will be at my side.
And then Willie said, Josh, I don’t have to tell you this, but the most exciting thing in the world is to live day by day in the will of God. He has a perfect plan, and if we are obedient to Him He will accomplish it, whether it takes fifty years, twenty years or a single day.
A sob caught in my throat. I read the paragraph again. Then I went on.
I am thankful that God gave me a good home, a good church, and good friends so that I could learn that truth without fighting it. I know that you have often wondered why the Lord hasn’t called you to the pastorate or to the mission field. The important thing isn’t where we serve, but how. The question is not “What does He have for me in the future?” but “Am I obedient to Him right now?” And you can walk in obedience, Josh, wherever you live and serve.
May God lead you, Josh, in whatever He has for you. You’re the greatest buddy a fellow ever had. Love, Willie.
I cried many tears over that letter. I read it so often in the next several days that I could have repeated it by heart, yet I had a hard time getting to the truth of it.
I was in the barn one morning exercising Chester when the door opened and Uncle Nat came in. After warm greetings, Uncle Nat came over to check out my horse. He was nearly as pleased as I was to see how well Chester was progressing.
“He looks real good, Josh,” he said to me. “Soon he’ll be running at a full gallop again.”
I grinned.
“Well, I sure hope the ice and snow are off the ground before then,” I said. “Don’t want it to happen again.”
“Oh, it will be,” said Uncle Nat with confidence.
I shook my head. “Seems to me this winter has hung on and on,” I said soberly.
Uncle Nat looked at me evenly. I could read questions in his eyes. He pulled forward a barn stool and sat down.
“So, how’s it going, Josh?” I knew that it wasn’t just a passing question or a social pleasantry.
I let Chester drift back to his own stall, and I sank onto a soft mound of straw.
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “It’s been a tough winter.” Uncle Nat nodded.
“Tough times make us grow, Josh,” he said simply.
I thought about that. I hoped I had done some growing.
“The farm’s doing well,” Uncle Nat went on, encouraging me to talk.
“Yeah.” I nodded, thinking of the good seed grain in the granaries, the fine stock in the pasture, and the tractor waiting for spring.
“You should be real proud of yourself,” Uncle Nat continued. “I know we all are.”
“You are? That’s good, but I still—”
“You unhappy with farming?” Uncle Nat’s question brought me up short.
“Oh no,” I was quick to inform him. “I like it—love it. It’s great to watch things grow—and change—and to know that you’ve been a part of it.”
“But something is bothering you.”
“Well, I mean—I still don’t know what God wants me to do in life. I expected by now that He would show me, but He hasn’t yet. By the time a fella is past twenty-two, he should have some clear direction about his life, he should know what he’s supposed to do.”
Uncle Nat gave me a playful poke on the arm. “I thought maybe you had girl troubles,” he teased. “Couldn’t make up your mind about which one of those fine ladies—”
“Naw,” I answered, “not girl troubles.” But I pondered Uncle Nat’s words.
“I wouldn’t even dare to choose a girl now,” I added defensively. “Not ’til I know what God has in mind for my life.”
“I see,” said Uncle Nat.
We were both silent for a few minutes.
“But you enjoy farming?” said Uncle Nat, as though to clear up a point. “You don’t feel any kind of guilt for being here for the last several years?”
“I had to be here,” I said, surprised that Uncle Nat didn’t understand that. “Grandpa and Uncle Charlie needed me. There was no one else to help them.”
“And with your hard work and good management you have turned the farm around—it’s better now than ever.”
I appreciated Uncle Nat’s lofty compliments, and I had to admit that there was some truth in what he said.
“And you think that the two men will be able to handle the farm now by themselves?”
It was a foolish question. Anyone could see that Grandpa and Uncle Charlie wouldn’t do much farming in the future.
“You know they couldn’t,” I said rather abruptly.
“So they still need you?” Uncle Nat left the question hanging in the air between us. I didn’t even try to answer it.
“Have you ever considered the fact that God might want you to go on farming? That farming might be His call for you?”
“Farming?” I paused for quite a while. Then I said, “Not really. I just supposed—” I shook my head.
“But you do enjoy farming?” pressed Uncle Nat.
“Sure I do. But it all seems kind of pointless. I’ve been trying hard to build up the farm so that it would be productive, make money.” I lowered my head and picked absently at some straw. “I had even promised God that the money I made would be used to support missionaries—like Willie. And now—now it all seems wasted.” My speech ended with a sob caught in my throat. Uncle Nat sat silently for several minutes until he could see that I had control of myself again.
“I suppose Willie’s early death seems a waste to you, too, Josh.”
Uncle Nat had tied up my confused feelings into a neat package. I said nothing.
“I don’t understand about Willie’s death,” went on Uncle Nat. “It is sad and it causes us all much pain, but it wasn’t wasteful. God doesn’t make mistakes, Josh.”
“That’s what SueAnn said the day we got word of his death. But, Uncle Nat, that’s really hard for me to swallow. Look at Willie—if anybody was being faithful to God, he was. So why did God let him die like that, so young, with so much ahead of him?”
U
ncle Nat looked intently at me. “Josh, none of us can know for certain why these things happen. We may never know. Because God gave man a free will and he chose to sin, we now live in a world marred by sin—”
“But Jesus’ death sets us free from sin!” I protested.
“As individuals who trust Him—yes. From the judgment
of sin. But as long as we live on this earth, we will have to live with the effects of sin.”
“Like evil?”
“Evil, and sickness, and accidents, and untimely death—all those things that don’t quite seem fair. We live in a sin-damaged world, Josh. People do get sick and die. We may not understand it, but we do know—”
“That God loves us and wants the best for us,” I finished for him. Somewhere, in the darkness of my grief and confusion, I felt a light beginning to dawn.
“We have to believe that or life has no meaning,” Uncle Nat agreed in a soft, firm voice. “Now, I don’t know the reason for what happened. But there is a purpose. God can make ‘all things work together for good’—those aren’t just words, Josh. I’m sure of that. Willie’s life accomplished what it was meant to accomplish. Willie was obedient to God. He was right where God wanted Him to be at the time that God wanted him to be there. He wasn’t running away; he wasn’t fighting God’s plan. He was obedient. God can always—and only—fulfill His plan for us when we obey Him—about the daily decisions and the big ones.”
Parts of Willie’s letter flashed back into my mind. That was what Willie was trying to tell me. All that was really important was that I obey God now, this very moment, at this very place. Tomorrow could be left in God’s hands.
Uncle Nat was talking again. “Do you feel that you are disobeying God in farming, Josh?”
“No,” I was able to answer honestly. “I really don’t.”
“Then if you are not disobeying Him, could it be that you are obeying Him?”
I stared at Uncle Nat, thinking. Then I began to chuckle. “It seems so simple,” I said, tossing a handful of straw into the air.
“Maybe it is. Maybe we’re the ones who make it complicated.”
I felt as if a great burden had suddenly been lifted from my shoulders. Uncle Nat and I hugged each other and then he held me away and said softly, “Josh, there are other missionaries who will still need to be supported. Camellia, for one.”
Tears filled my eyes. I guess there was no other missionary I would rather support than Willie’s Camellia. I nodded, too choked up to speak.
“You ready to go?” asked Uncle Nat.
I was ready all right. I had been spending too much of my time hidden away in the barn lately. Chester was doing just fine on his own. He didn’t need me that much anymore. At least for now, God wants me to be a farmer—the best one possible, I thought. Unless or until He shows me something else … And I had the big issue settled. I was ready to get on with some of the other decisions that a fellow has to make. I gave Uncle Nat a smile—the first in a long time, it seemed. We left the barn and I fastened the door securely behind me.
As we headed for the house, I lifted my eyes to study the farm I loved. A distinct feeling of spring filled the morning air.
Books by Janette Oke
ACTS OF FAITH*
The Centurion’s Wife • The Hidden Flame
CANADIAN WEST
When Calls the Heart • When Comes the Spring
When Breaks the Dawn • When Hope Springs New
Beyond the Gathering Storm
When Tomorrow Comes
LOVE COMES SOFTLY
Love Comes Softly • Love’s Enduring Promise
Love’s Long Journey • Love’s Abiding Joy
Love’s Unending Legacy • Love’s Unfolding Dream
Love Takes Wing • Love Finds a Home
A PRAIRIE LEGACY
The Tender Years • A Searching Heart
A Quiet Strength • Like Gold Refined
SEASONS OF THE HEART
Once Upon a Summer • The Winds of Autumn
Winter Is Not Forever • Spring’s Gentle Promise
Seasons of the Heart (4 in 1)
SONG OF ACADIA*
The Meeting Place • The Sacred Shore • The Birthright
The Distant Beacon • The Beloved Land
WOMEN OF THE WEST
The Calling of Emily Evans • Julia’s Last Hope
Roses for Mama • A Woman Named Damaris
They Called Her Mrs. Doc • The Measure of a Heart
A Bride for Donnigan • Heart of the Wilderness
Too Long a Stranger • The Bluebird and the Sparrow
A Gown of Spanish Lace • Drums of Change
www.janetteoke.com
*with Davis Bunn
MORE HEARTWARMING ROMANCE
from Janette Oke!
* * *
The Series That Started It All
Janette Oke’s original bestselling series has drawn readers for decades with a reassuring look at how God’s love can deepen the affection shared by two people—during joy and times of suffering. Join the millions of readers who have enjoyed these sweet and spiritually enriching stories.
LOVE COMES SOFTLY SERIES:
Love Comes Softly, Love’s Enduring Promise, Love’s Long Journey, Love’s Abiding Joy, Love’s Unending Legacy, Love’s Unfolding Dream, Love Takes Wing, Love Finds a Home
* * *
NEW!
Janette Oke pairs up with bestselling author Davis Bunn for a sweeping, epic series surrounding the early days of the Church. In the face of persecution, how can faith and love survive?
ACTS OF FAITH SERIES:
The Centurion’s Wife, The Hidden Flame
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