by Jewel E. Ann
“You’re shaking.” He leered at me as my gaze bounced off his several times before sticking for more than three seconds.
“I’m being a bad hostess. Can I get you something?”
“You.”
My nerves got the best of me. “Maybe you should make yourself at home while I go upstairs and change my clothes.”
His ear-splitting grin made me feel lightheaded, like a dream. “I don’t think clothes are required.”
“I need to shave … some things.”
“You don’t.”
“I didn’t brush my teeth after dinner.” I cleared my throat as what little confidence I had completely shriveled.
“Turn your brain off.” His fingers deftly unbuttoned my jeans and inched down my zipper, causing massive arrhythmia. “I don’t want you clean and smooth.” His hand made its way down the front of my pants, arresting my breath. “I want you dirty with all your rough, unkept edges. I want a few of the buttons on your shirt to pop off when I'm too impatient to use any sort of dexterity to remove it properly. I want to hear you moan profanities that would make your church friends clutch their pearls.”
I wanted the floor beneath me to open and swallow me whole when he touched me where no other man aside from Craig had touched me. Two of his fingers found their way inside of me, and for a few seconds, I felt horrified, completely wrecked by my emotions and my inability to turn off my brain.
“Shut. It. Off.” Kael dipped his head and stole my lips and my breath. He didn’t ask me how I liked his touch. He didn’t ask me a string of questions that didn’t matter, that only served to magnify his own insecurities.
This is happening. What am I doing? Should I stop?
My stupid brain ran through the laundry list of insecurities that never revealed themselves with Craig. Not once did I wonder if he thought my vagina was overly stretched from pushing four humans through it. Laxity of my labia also never came to mind until that moment.
Pubic hair.
Stretch marks.
Wrinkles.
Vaginal wall strength.
Thank God I had my own teeth and didn’t have to worry about my dentures displacing as his tongue probed my mouth. The fast pace of casual sex left me feeling a little off-kilter, three steps behind.
I knew how to date.
I knew how to have a boyfriend.
A husband.
I knew there was an order—flirting, a first date, hand-holding, kissing, bases to be explored multiple times before going all the way. And “all the way” meant something. It meant you were a couple if that hadn’t already been agreed upon.
Sex. Only sex. Casual sex. Get-right-to-it sex. It was all new to me. Having fingers inside of me before a first kiss. What was that? Who did that?
Kael Hendricks and apparently me too.
As each second passed, I lost all ability to judge Bella for doing God only knew what with God only knew who.
“You’re overthinking this,” Kael murmured as he worked his way down my neck, a faint hint of a smile teasing my skin between kisses.
“How do you know that?” I closed my eyes.
“Because your hands are balled at your sides instead of unzipping my pants.” He nibbled along my collarbone.
I relaxed my fists and fumbled, searching for the button and zipper of his cargo pants. “Should we go to my bedroom?” My voice trembled, sounding just as erratic as my fingers felt fumbling with his pants.
“No need.” He made tiny steps toward me as I moved backward. We did this dance until the back of my legs hit the sofa. That triumphant grin held strong as he removed his hand from my pants the second I unzipped his, and he hunched down, peeling my jeans, panties, and socks off slowly.
My hands covered my privates.
Kael’s eyes shifted upward to meet mine, his mouth a breath away from my hands. “What are you doing?”
“We really should shut off the lights.”
“Then I can’t see you.”
I frowned. “Sex is meant to be felt, not seen.”
“I disagree.” He tried to tear my hands away, but I locked them into place.
I needed to shave, but that would have made my situation down below more obvious. My laxity issue. The hair hid it, but I didn’t want his mouth near me with all that hair. I needed to at least give it a minor trim or run Meadow’s defurring brush through it. I shaved it during the summer for swimsuit season, but it was November.
Such a dilemma.
The overgrown bush or the turkey. Yes, turkey. A beakless turkey. The labia was the wattle and the clitoris was the snood. And who wanted to tongue a beakless turkey with all the lights on?
I might have been getting ahead of myself. He hadn’t confirmed his intentions. But his face was level with my bearded turkey, so of course my mind went there. The mind was a playground with drug dealers, child molesters, and psychopaths. Anyone who said they never had insane thoughts and crazy images once in a while was a liar. I refused to believe it was just my brain.
However, since I wasn’t a lunatic, those thoughts never left my brain. Kael would never ever know that my brain detoured in the direction of the similarities between my lady bits and turkeys while he seduced me. At that point, fajita didn’t seem so crazy or crude after all.
Kael pushed himself to standing again and rested his hands on his hips with a slow sigh. “This isn’t happening, is it?” He eyed me with expectancy. It wasn’t a rhetorical question; he expected me to answer. Amusement twitched along his lips, assuring me he wasn’t mad.
Just amused.
Had he been able to read my mind, that amusement would have been the snow kicking up behind the back tires of his truck as he sped away from the crazy woman as quickly as possible.
I eased my naked butt onto the sofa and snatched a pillow to cover my exposed bits. “Gah … I swore if I ever had this kind of chance, I would not talk about my dead husband. But …”
“But you feel like you’re cheating on him.”
I shook my head. “No. Not that. You see ... we met in high school. Back then, I was confident and rightly so. I was this petite cheerleader—strong, toned, thick hair, perky boobs. When the star basketball player gave me a second look, I wasn’t surprised. I felt worthy. And over the years, we sort of…” I chuckled “…aged and fell apart together. So the thought of you getting a close look at all of me just spooked me for a moment.”
After he didn’t respond, I risked a glance up at him and his contented smirk. “I mean … don’t get me wrong. I’ve worked hard to eat well, exercise, moisturize, do all the age-defying things. It’s not that I think I’m grotesque or that I don’t have any sex appeal. I’m just not … thirty.”
“Okay.” Kael shrugged off his fitted, thermal shirt. “Good talk, Elsie. Are you done?”
My wide-eyed gaze affixed to his midsection. Hello, man abs. Longtime no see.
Craig used to have all the abs, a lean, athletic build with perfect muscle definition. By his mid-thirties, he surrendered to beer, regular fried foods with the guys, and he got a little lax on his exercise routine. It wasn’t an image or number on a scale. I loved him in all his forms as he had always loved me in my many forms. It was the blatant letting go of everything and the gross stuff that came with it that he didn’t try to hide even a little.
More flatulence.
More burping.
More body odor—onion breath from his takeout burgers being my not-so-favorite.
“We can just sit naked on the sofa for a while until you feel comfortable.” He inched his cargo pants over his hips, and they dropped like a Broadway curtain to his ankles, leaving him in nothing but black briefs and an impressive erection.
As soon as he hooked his thumbs inside the waistband of his briefs to remove them, I snapped out of my ab coma. “Whoa … wait.”
“Don’t worry; I’ve got a condom.” He leaned down and retrieved a condom from the back pocket of his cargo pants. “Pregnancy isn’t an issue. I’ve had a v
asectomy, but I have to be responsible. I have no idea where you’ve been.”
My mouth fell open and a gasp released. “Me? How dare you—”
He cupped the back of my head and kissed me, pushing me back on the sofa. It took me a few seconds to surrender to the invasion of my mouth, his hips planted between my legs, and the erection behind his briefs stabbing me right there.
Poof!
There went my insecurities, crowded out of my head by an urgency to remove the cotton barrier between us. Foreplay used to be a big deal. I needed it. Not at that moment with Kael. I needed him inside of me so badly it ached.
Sex.
I needed sex.
Not love.
Not commitment.
Just. Sex.
And I needed it to be okay—but that need took a backseat to the other needs. I knew I’d work out the details of my sins later.
He tugged off my shirt, popping off a button as promised, and I unhooked my bra in the front, not giving the sad state of my breasts a second thought. Kael didn’t seem bothered by them, or the lack of them, as evident by his pleasurable moan when his mouth covered one. My hands explored his backside, slipping into his briefs and claiming as much firm muscle as I could hold.
Maybe he was a midlife crisis.
Maybe he was perspective.
Maybe he was simply a stupid mistake.
I just knew that, in the moment, I didn’t only let go of my incessant worry—I abandoned forty-two years of hard-earned common sense.
His arm shot down to the floor, pressing his hand flat to keep us from rolling off the sofa, but I pushed him in that direction until he somewhat gracefully landed on the floor with me on top of him.
Kissing his mouth.
Kissing his chest and enviable abs.
Kissing along the waistband of his briefs.
Then I pulled them down just far enough to release him before kissing my way back up his chest.
“Condom,” he muttered.
“In a sec …” He felt warm and hard between my legs. I wanted that feeling just for a few seconds as I rubbed myself up and down him. There was nothing special about latex, so I let myself indulge in skin to skin just for a few seconds.
We kissed.
He rocked his hips sliding against me.
Just on the outside.
I rationalized every move.
My hands pressed to the carpet beside his head, and his hands rested on my hips, guiding our movements … or maybe he was taming mine. I drew back from his lips and tipped my chin to watch us sliding together.
“Condom …” he whispered through heavy breaths.
I returned a slight nod. “In a sec … this feels too good.”
And I don’t know if it was him lifting a little higher with his hips or if it was me sinking a fraction lower with mine, but he sort of … slipped inside of me. The head of his erection snagged, stopping our motions.
We stared at each other and then down at what was a textbook visual of “just the tip.”
“Condom,” Kael said with a little strain to his voice, but he didn’t move. Not one inch.
“No” was my knee-jerk reply. Followed with a hasty, “I mean, yes. But just …” I panted like a woman in labor who wasn’t supposed to push.
If we didn’t move, nothing bad would happen.
If we didn’t move, we could just enjoy the most erotic view and feeling ever.
If we didn’t move … we wouldn’t have needed a condom.
Right?
“Just a sec …” I was on top. I held the most power.
It. Just. Felt. So. Good.
His left hand fell from my hip and moved to the side. “It’s right here.” He held the condom in front of my face. “But if you don’t want me to use it, I won’t.”
That grin. That was what made me come to my senses. In that moment, he was no longer just some hot, young guy rubbing his naked body against mine. That grin was my nemesis. The bane of my existence as a retail store owner in Epperly. He wanted to see me completely lose myself in the moment—in him.
“The hell you won’t.” I couldn’t even look at him when I said it. Instead, I lifted onto my knees, plucked the packet from his hand, and rolled the condom onto his cock.
Really, that grin had to go. Sure, it was charming and sexy. But I didn’t like how it made me feel like a flighty young woman enamored by him. I would stroke his dick for our mutual pleasure, but not his ego.
“Lose the grin and kiss me, you sexy idiot.”
Kael doubled down on his grin, keeping it firmly locked in place as he sat up with me straddling him. When I leaned in to kiss him, he moved just enough to deny me.
I narrowed my eyes.
“God … you’re feisty as hell.”
Feisty? I could live with that. “You have no idea.”
He grabbed my ass harder than anyone had ever grabbed my ass before. And I liked it. Too much, really.
“Let’s see whatcha got, Elsie.”
My breath caught in my throat when his hands jerked my hips downward onto every inch of him with unmeasurable confidence. Mesmerizing eyes greedily drank up the view of my reaction—heavy eyes, lips parted, and a long moan vibrating from my chest.
Yeah, yeah … you’re a fucking stud, Kael Hendricks.
Chapter Eleven
I loved my husband despite his inability to undress correctly. And yes … there was a correct order.
* * *
“Well, that was …” I hooked my bra with my back to Kael as he searched for his clothes scattered around the sofa along with pillows, blankets, and two condom wrappers.
Two.
I hadn’t had sex twice in a twenty-four-hour span since Craig and I were in Mexico for our ten-year anniversary.
“Don’t leave me hanging. That was what?”
Unforgettable.
Mind-blowing.
Hot as hell.
Sexier than anything I could recall.
“Not what I expected.”
His easy laughter filled the otherwise quiet room as I pulled on my jeans. “What did you expect?”
I walked right into that one. A reminder that we were competitors.
“I think I expected to be a little rusty. But I clearly wasn’t. I was quite good.” All lies. Well, the first part was true. I turned toward him as I fished my arms into my shirt. My mouth remained firm, giving nothing away as I kept my chin up. It was all about appearance.
After he finished pulling on his socks, he stepped toward me, hooking two fingers into the waistband of my jeans to tug me into his chest. My hands splayed over his shirt, head angled toward his face. Still, I held every ounce of confidence as if I really felt it.
“I’m not backing down. It’s just sex. It’s my family’s business. I’ll do whatever it takes to get back my customers you’ve tried to steal.”
He rolled his lips together, no doubt hiding a grin. But the playful sparkle in his eyes hid nothing. “Elsie,” he adjusted himself. “You’re giving me a hard-on again. I’d be disappointed if you rolled over and surrendered. I like you on top … taking me down.”
My smart mouth had a comeback. I think the sex boosted my confidence. However, before I could spew more than a tiny sound, his hands held my head between them, and his mouth covered mine. That tongue did wicked things to mine. Even our intimacy felt competitive.
“Stop trying to jump me again, Mrs. Smith.” He abruptly pulled away and straightened his shirt like a better-dressed man would straighten his tie.
“Stop calling me Mrs. Smith. It makes me sound like your teacher or your best friend’s mom. Like a dirty old lady.”
“No comment.” He smirked and pivoted, taking his cockiness and swagger to the front door where he donned his jacket and boots. “Tell Bella I said hi.”
“I will do no such thing. And you will not tell anyone about this. It’s a one and done.”
“We did it twice, Mrs. Smith. And I let you lick my cock a few times because
you wouldn’t stop gawking at it.”
No matter how hard I tried to subdue my reaction, my cheeks flushed with heat, crawling up to the tips of my ears. That heat evaporated all moisture in my throat along with my next words.
Kael opened the door and glanced back at me. “Don’t fret. I fully intend on plowing your driveway in the morning, and I’ll owe you a second one as well.” He winked and closed the door.
The next morning, I dragged my ass out of bed with less than an hour to get showered, eat breakfast, and get to work. As promised, my driveway had been plowed. Sex until one in the morning didn’t stop Kael from getting up early to remove snow.
When I arrived at the store, there were three customers waiting at the door. “Good morning. Sorry, I’m usually here thirty minutes before opening.” I cringed. “Not three.”
“It’s fine, Elsie.” One of the women smiled.
My gaze shifted to her hand and the Smith’s bag in it. I held open the door for her. “Do you have an exchange or return?”
“Yes. A return.” She stomped the snow off her boots and stepped inside.
The other two customers had Smith’s bags in their hands too. All three ladies lined up at the register as I flipped on the lights, the Open sign, and the jolly holiday music.
As I turned on the register, I caught a glimpse of the long line outside of What Did You Expect?
“Have you met the owner?” Lilly asked me as she set her bag on the counter with her unopened gift set in it.
“Who’s that?” I pretended not to know.
“Mr. Hendricks. He’s the nicest guy.”
“Yeah, I’ve heard okay things about him. Is there an issue with the gift set?” I pulled it out of the bag and inspected it.
“I found something else. It’s for my in-laws. But I get them the same kind of stuff every year. I just thought I’d mix it up and try something a little different.”
“Well, do you want to look around first? Or I can give you back a gift card with credit if you don’t have time to browse today?”
Lilly’s face wrinkled with discomfort. “Like I said … I already picked up something else. Can I just get you to refund my credit card?”
