by Sarah Price
“Nee, that’s not it.” He waited for her to look at him and then he forced a nervous smile at her. “I reckon my real question is whether women really consider that when thinking of a husband?”
Fanny’s mouth opened, just slightly, in surprise at his question. She couldn’t begin to wonder why he would think she’d have an answer. After all, she rarely attended singings and certainly wasn’t courting anyone.
“I mean, look at Miriam and Jeb—” he stammered. “She’s quite impressed with his 160 acres.”
“Oh, ja,” Fanny managed to admit. “She is, isn’t she? More and more every day as her wedding approaches too.”
He scratched at the side of his head. “I wonder that she cares more for the appearance of wealth than the man she is committing to spend the rest of her life with.”
Fanny had no response. While she silently agreed with Elijah’s observation, she was not about to speak poorly of anyone, even to Elijah.
He turned to her, his face drawn and pale. “Fanny, are all women like that?”
For a moment she felt a wave of disappointment. If he truly believed that enough to question it, surely he included her in that classification. Clearly he was torn and conflicted, but she took no comfort in the fact that he respected her good opinion enough to seek her input, especially if it meant he wanted her to exonerate Mary of having a shallow nature.
“I’m—I’m sure I wouldn’t know,” she whispered at last. “I can only speak for myself, Elijah.”
He stared at her, his eyes searching her face. His concern lacked the adoration that she so often saw in his expression when he looked upon Mary. “I don’t even think I can ask whether you think that way, Fanny Price. I doubt that such thoughts would even cross your mind.”
She wasn’t certain whether that was a compliment. Once again, she looked down at the ground, her shoulders slumping forward.
“I reckon Mary’s a fine enough Amish woman,” Elijah continued, unaware that he might have hurt Fanny’s feelings. “Attentive during services and helpful at fellowship.”
Fanny wanted to add that Mary had a sharp eye and witty tongue that had cajoled him into doing something he knew was wrong. How could he still consider Mary as a potential life mate if he already suspected her of being superficial and foolish?
“And she seems to come from a fine enough family,” Elijah said.
“A family she has returned to,” Fanny managed to say.
Elijah nodded his head and sighed. “Ja, this is true.” He reached up and removed his hat from his head. He fiddled with it for a few seconds before he arose to his feet and began to pace the length of the porch. “This is all too much, Fanny.”
“What is too much?”
He gestured toward the road with his hand. “Decisions. Life.” He exhaled loudly. “Mary.”
Fanny felt a chill and shivered, although she wasn’t certain if it was the air or his words that made her do so. “Oh.”
“It’s just . . . ” He stopped pacing and ran his fingers through his hair. “How does a person know?”
Fanny watched him, her heart hurting for the turmoil that he felt. How does a person know? she wondered.
With a sigh, Elijah looked at her and forced a small smile. “I guess that’s something you can’t answer for me, can you now?”
She shook her head. “Nee, Elijah, I cannot.”
He reached over and touched her shoulder, a gesture of appreciation but without any suggestion of intimacy. “Danke, Fanny,” he said. “You always have been there to listen to me, especially when I cannot speak to anyone else.”
Sliding his hat back on his head, he moved away from the porch, his hands thrust into the front pockets of his pants as he walked back toward the barn.
“Ja,” she whispered as she watched him. “I have.”
The silent sound of her heart breaking was louder than anything she had ever imagined.
Chapter 11
OVER THE NEXT few weeks the level of stress in the Bontrager household increased. First they endured the long Council meeting that followed the next worship service, and then Naomi took over the preparations for Miriam’s upcoming wedding. The wedding season didn’t begin until after Communion which, this year, was the last Sunday in October. Since Miriam had insisted that her wedding be the first one of the season, all of the wedding preparation had to be completed in advance.
With Martha not in any shape for managing the planning required of such an important event, Naomi happily volunteered herself for the job, taking over the responsibilities of cleaning the house, organizing the food, and inviting the people. Fanny watched as Naomi went into high gear with her lengthy lists scribbled on yellow pads of paper.
And, of course, the communion service would be two days before Miriam’s wedding and that too was an important day that required extra baking for the fellowship meal which, for once, was more than just light fare after worship.
With so much happening at once, it was good to have Naomi in charge and, in Fanny’s mind, preoccupied with something that kept her from complaining about other things. Unfortunately that did not mean that she was any less bossy. In fact Naomi wasted no time as she barked orders left and right, having Thomas and Elijah begin removing unnecessary furniture from the first floor so that Fanny and Julia could properly clean the floors, woodwork, and windows. When that did not prove enough to satisfy Naomi, she insisted that Elijah purchase fresh paint.
“Does nobody in this family any good if the walls look grungy for our first wedding since your maem married Timothy!” Digging through an overstuffed drawer in the kitchen, she searched for paint chips. “Mayhaps the bathroom needs a fresh coat too.”
Elijah frowned, not appreciating the extra work. Even with Timothy home and helping with the chores, Elijah still worked from before sunrise to well after sunset most days. Fanny watched him, wishing that someone would speak up and make Thomas finally become a responsible and contributing member of the household. But no one did, and as always, Elijah did Naomi’s bidding, leaving the house to harness the horse to the buggy so that he could fetch the fresh paint.
“Come with me, Fanny,” he whispered when he returned to the house to retrieve money from his father. “It’s no fun riding alone.”
Fanny smiled, pleased that he had thought to ask her. Since their talk two weeks ago, Elijah had seemed less despondent and distracted. Even more importantly he began to return to his former self and often sought out her company.
“I can’t,” she whispered back to him, glancing over her shoulder at Naomi, who sat at the kitchen table, her head bent over her yellow notepad. “You know she wants me to make more cheese this afternoon so it’s ready for the wedding. Plus, I think an order for several baskets came in.”
“Let Julia and Miriam do them,” he said.
But they both knew that would never happen.
Miriam spent her days fretting more about her wedding dress and what food would be served than about the upcoming marriage and the dramatic change it would bring to her life. When tough tasks needed to be tackled, Miriam always appeared by Naomi’s side, suddenly interested in the details of her ever-growing list or asking Naomi for advice on a matter of sudden and very grave importance. That meant that most tasks fell to Fanny and Julia to handle.
Later in the afternoon hours Jeb often visited his soon-to-be bride. With Henry no longer in Mount Hope, Miriam’s attention focused on him. So when his horse and buggy pulled down the lane toward their house, in the rare case where she was actually working, Miriam would drop everything and hurry to fuss over Jeb as she served him coffee and supper.
The smile on Jeb’s face indicated his pleasure in Miriam’s attentiveness. On some evenings he sat at the table next to Timothy, sipping decaffeinated coffee as they discussed their plans for planting crops the following spring.
One night, the sky already dark even though it was barely after seven o’clock, Fanny sat at the table working on a small basket. For once, Miriam an
d Julia were tending to the cleanup of the kitchen, probably preferring that chore to working on the basket. Fanny listened to Naomi prattle off her list of to-dos and glanced over at Elijah, who barely paid attention to his aunt. He looked at her and made a face, almost causing her to laugh. Hiding her smile, she dipped her head so that no one could see her amusement at Elijah’s mockery of Naomi.
“And you’ve spoken to the bishop?” Naomi sat next to Timothy at the table, her steely gray eyes piercing as she stared at Jeb. “We need to make certain it’s announced right away.”
Jeb nodded. “Ja, he knows. Spoke with him just Sunday last. And we’ve already alerted our family so they are certain to come. Everyone knows already, since the wedding is right after Communion Sunday.”
With a bored look on his face—for details of such a feminine nature were of no interest to him—Timothy spoke up. “Speaking of Bishop Yoder, I ran into him today when I stopped at the Millers. He’s selling that old draft horse of his.” Timothy toyed with his coffee cup, spinning it around on the table and not caring that some of it splashed onto the table. After all, someone else would clean up after him.
Martha looked up, a moment of clarity in her face as she asked her husband, “You need another draft horse?”
Naomi scowled. “You don’t need another draft horse!” she repeated as if she hadn’t heard Martha.
“Nee, I don’t, but I sure could use a new collar. Thought Miller might be selling that too. That draft horse is far too old for pulling plows and mowers anymore.”
Naomi clicked her tongue and returned her attention to sewing the hem of a new dress that she wanted to wear to the wedding. “Irrelevant if the horse is too old, Timothy. Waste of money to think about buying it.”
“I said I’m not buying it, Naomi.”
Fanny glanced up from the basket she was working on, raising an eyebrow at the sharpness of Timothy’s tone. She thought she saw Martha suppress a hint of a smile, especially when Naomi pressed her lips together and began furiously focusing on her sewing.
“Anyway, Bishop told me that Henry and Mary are returning to Mount Hope after their Communion Sunday,” Timothy said, oblivious to the sudden silence that fell over the kitchen. Miriam stopped in mid-action as she was removing the plates and Julia, who stood at the sink, dropped a dish into the soapy water. Suds splashed onto her dress and, embarrassed, she quickly began to wipe them with a dry cloth.
Elijah, however, suddenly looked more alive than he had in days. There was no more teasing in his expression as he sat up straighter and leaned toward his father. “Oh, ja?”
“I extended an invitation for them to attend the wedding.”
Fanny glanced from Elijah to Julia and then from Miriam to Jeb. Each one’s reaction differed. While Elijah seemed overjoyed and Julia hopeful, Miriam tried to hide her shock and Jeb his concern.
“I—I hadn’t known they were returning,” Miriam said at last. She glanced at her sister. “Did you?”
Julia shook her head, a smug look of hope remaining on her face. “But what perfect timing! They’ll be here for your wedding, Miriam. You’ll need to add them to your list and figure who they should sit with during the meals.” She smiled. With Miriam’s marrying Jeb now a certainty, Julia clearly felt that her sister posed no further threat in regards to her pursuit of Henry Coblentz.
Miriam narrowed her eyes and glared at her sister.
In response, Julia’s triumphant smile broadened.
Unaware of the unspoken exchange between his two daughters, Timothy wiped his mouth and pushed his coffee cup to the side. “Unfinished business, I reckon. Heard tell that they wanted to move here.”
Not just a visit, but a possible move as well? Fanny could feel the added charge in the room’s atmosphere, and she observed Miriam, Julia, and Jeb’s reactions with mild curiosity. While amused by the expressions on her cousins’ faces, she suspected that her own showed more than a little concern. With Henry came Mary, for sure and certain.
This was clearly on Elijah’s mind, for when she looked at him, he too was lost in thought. With Mary’s return, surely Elijah would renew his pursuit, perhaps courting her in earnest, especially if she was considering moving out to Ohio with her brother. And, of course, now that Elijah had become a baptized member of the community, he would most likely ask her to marry him.
Fanny felt the tightness return to her chest when she realized that it was not too late for Elijah to ask Mary to marry him in the upcoming wedding season. Stranger things had happened, especially when courtships were quick and short.
She raised her hand and pressed it against her neck, forcing herself to take deep breaths. If Elijah did marry Mary, she would move to the farm. After all, Thomas had demonstrated no interest in farming and it was generally accepted that Elijah would be the heir. Timothy would hand it down to Elijah, and that meant whoever he married would live with the rest of the family. When Fanny made breakfast or helped with the laundry, it would be Elijah’s wife who worked alongside her. And Fanny couldn’t imagine that at all.
No, the thought of welcoming Mary Coblentz into the Bontrager home was not a joyous one to Fanny.
“And speaking of unfinished business,” Timothy said as he stood up from the table. He stretched and belched. “Ja, Elijah, I need you to help with the bench wagon tomorrow. Needs to be moved to the Yoders’ house for Communion. And they need some furniture moved out. Told them that you’d help with that too on Saturday.” He glanced at his other son. “You too, Thomas.”
Elijah didn’t react but Thomas made a face.
“Best not be first thing in the morning,” Thomas stated. He tossed his napkin onto his plate. “I’ve got plans on Friday night and won’t be back until late.”
Fanny shrank into herself, watching as Timothy stared down his oldest son. Ever since their return from Florida, an increasing tension had mounted between the two of them. No one had spoken of what happened in Pinecraft that caused Timothy to send his son home early and alone. In fact, Timothy rarely spoke to Thomas at all. Whatever had happened in Florida, the already fragile relationship between father and son seemed to have cracked just a little bit more.
“For once,” Timothy said in a clipped fashion, “you will do what is right and help this community, if not this family.” He did not wait for his son’s response when he directed his attention toward Fanny and, with a softened expression, added, “And, by the way, the bishop personally requested that you, Fanny, accompany them so that you might help his wife prepare the house for Sunday worship.”
Nothing could have surprised Fanny more. Had he misspoken? Did he intend that request for another person and accidentally said her name? She glanced to either side of herself as if looking for someone to be standing there. No one was. When she realized that Timothy was speaking directly to her, she all but squeaked out, “Me?”
“Ja, Fanny.” For the first time in recent memory Timothy graced her with a kind look.
“Why me?”
“Perhaps the bishop knows that Julia is busy helping her schwester prepare for the wedding?” And then, to her further amazement, Timothy smiled. “Or perhaps your good nature has been reported to them by Mary and Henry.”
At the mention of Henry, Miriam raised an eyebrow and Julia tried to hide her disappointment that it was Fanny, and not her, requested to help the Yoders.
“Mayhaps we should all go, Daed?” Miriam ventured.
“Nee, Dochder, you need to help your aendi and maem. It is,” he said, leveling a stern look in her direction, “after all, your wedding that we are preparing for.”
Long after the rest of the family retired, the supper dishes put away, and the kitchen quiet and dark, Fanny sat in her regular chair and stared out the window. Thomas had snuck away after his parents retired for the evening, and Miriam had gone for a ride with Jeb. Fanny didn’t know where Julia and Elijah were, but she welcomed the silence and isolation. It was a rare treat.
Her thoughts drifted to Mary Coblent
z and the way that Elijah’s face had changed upon hearing the news that Mary would return to Holmes County. His tendency to appear deep in thought was replaced with something new that Fanny had never before seen, an alertness and eagerness to act. There was a quickness to his step for the rest of the evening until he excused himself to go outside.
If he married Mary, Elijah would no longer confide in Fanny. Of that she was sure and certain. A husband needed to rely on his wife for advice and support, not his younger cousin. Of course she was his cousin only by marriage, she told herself. Yet they had been raised as siblings, and that was exactly what he thought of her: a little sister.
But she, however, no longer viewed him as just her cousin, nor as her big brother.
The realization that she felt differently about him, especially now that she knew Elijah was smitten with Mary, did little to lift Fanny’s spirits. So she sat alone, in the dark, praying to God to help her be strong enough to face the upcoming weeks when Elijah would undoubtedly pursue a relationship with Mary. Despite her faith in God to know what was best for all of his children, Fanny could not take comfort in his plans for Elijah and Mary, and for that she also prayed for forgiveness.
Chapter 12
ON SATURDAY MORNING Fanny walked into the Yoders’ house, her arms laden with a box of cleaning supplies as she followed Elijah while Thomas unharnessed the horse from the buggy. Fanny hadn’t wanted to come help the bishop and his wife prepare for the communion service. But she knew that it was better than being at home listening to Miriam sigh all day long. Since Timothy’s big news of the Coblentzes’ return, she had grown as melancholy as Martha.
Suddenly Fanny bumped into Elijah. He had stopped walking, and with the box blocking her view, she hadn’t seen him standing there in the doorway.
