“Does it matter? I wished him dead. Perhaps that’s almost the same thing.”
“Not by a long shot, honey.” He stood, still unsure whether or not she’d answered his question. He’d been hell-bent on hauling the woman back to New York, set on justice for the man he’d once claimed as a childhood friend.
Now, after less than a week, he wasn’t at all sure what he was doing. Ted Wentworth’s motive was less than honest, it seemed. For the first time, Quinn had begun a search without being fully aware of the facts. He’d had only Ted’s insinuations to go on.
Quinn had been determined to give an elusive peace of mind to Damian’s parents, in thanks for their kindness to the boy he had been. They’d been more than generous with their funds, and he’d assumed that Estelle truly cared for the daughter-in-law who’d run off.
Nothing added up at this point, he decided. The woman was not what he’d expected—not by a long shot. Never in his years of hunting down one criminal after another had he doubted his own judgment to this extent.
It had taken this little bit of a woman to stop him in his tracks.
“Ted Wentworth told me he and his wife want you to live in their home. He’s worried that you can’t take care of yourself.”
Erin nodded. “He asked me to stay. I couldn’t. And then when Estelle pushed and pushed, and said insinuating things about the night Damian died, hinting things.” She shuddered and looked up at him, her eyes bleak.
“I couldn’t live in the same house with a person who hated me. Not again. Not ever again.” She looked down at her empty plate and smiled, a sad travesty. “I ate it all. You were right.”
“If he had proof, he’d have sent the law after you,” Quinn said firmly, rising to take their plates to the sink. His fork scraped the residue of their meal into the pan she kept there for the purpose. “You need a dog around here, or a pig maybe,” he muttered after a moment.
“Whatever for?” Her voice held a trace of surprise, much better than the calm weariness she’d assumed for the past little while, he decided.
“Dogs eat leftovers, and pigs eat most anything.”
She laughed, a rusty sound. “I wouldn’t know how to go about butchering a pig. And I can’t think of any other use for one. Maybe a dog would be a better idea.”
“I’ll check in town next time I ride down. Maybe somebody has a litter of pups.”
She was silent behind him and he turned, leaning against the sinkboard. Her eyes were wary, the blue orbs shot with silver, dark lashes framing their distinctive beauty. She’d gathered her hair atop her head in a careless arrangement, and tendrils had escaped from the silken mass to fall against her neck.
Her aura of vulnerability, meshed with the graceful beauty of the woman herself, moved him, emotions he’d long since forgotten making themselves known. The need to protect her was uppermost, followed by a longing to touch the soft curve of her cheek, to place his mouth against her brow in a gesture of comfort.
Yet it was more than comfort he ached to offer, and that need rose in a tumult of desire that shamed him with its fierce strength. She was alone, vulnerable, and on top of it all, she carried a child beneath that enveloping skirt she wore.
“Next time you go to town?” she asked quietly. “You’re not.”
“I’m…not moving you from this place, Erin, at least not right now. The weather is changing, you’re not fit to travel and I’ve got a lot of thinking to do.”
As if that settled the whole thing, Quinn levered himself from his position at the sink and headed for the door.
“Can I help with the deer?” she asked, rising from the table.
“Bring out the biggest kettle in the house and I’ll fill it at the pump outside. I’ll want to wash the meat. Then you can cook the neck roast in the oven for supper.”
“There’s a barrel in the shed. Maybe we could salt some of the meat down in it,” she offered.
“You got enough salt for that?”
She looked puzzled. “I don’t know how much it’ll take, but I’ve got ten pounds.”
He nodded. “We can put some of it in brine. In the meantime, I need to sharpen my knife.”
With a vengeful reminder of her vulnerability, the pain returned, sweeping from her belly to wash against her spine in waves that took her breath. She’d only carried the kettle outside—certainly not a heavy chore—then returned to the kitchen to sort out her dirty clothes for washing.
Not that she had any amount to worry about, but two dresses were ready for a scrubbing, and probably Quinn Yarborough had an assortment of laundry she could wash out for him. It was the least she could do, with him furnishing meat for her table.
She’d bent to empty the box she kept the soiled laundry in when the steadily rising ache turned to pain, a clawing pain that took her breath and brought tears to her eyes.
Erin lowered herself to a chair and held her breath. Her head bent, she waited out the grip of harsh discomfort, then released the air within her lungs in a steady stream.
She slid her palm across the rounding of her belly and waited, but no answering pressure greeted her seeking fingers. Her brow furrowed as she concentrated. Surely the baby had moved this morning? But the hours since rising had been fraught with worry over Quinn’s disappearance and the conflict he’d revealed on his return.
If the baby had moved, she’d been wrapped up in her thoughts, unaware of the small shifting and wiggling it might have done.
Last night. Maybe she’d noticed it then. But her mind drew a blank, the long ride up the mountain a dim memory as she thought of the day past.
“Please move, baby.” It was an anguished whisper, and Erin felt hot tears slip from beneath her closed eyelids.
To no avail. The firm swelling that was her child was unmoving, and she rose to her feet, unwilling, unable to consider the fears that pressed upon her.
The daylight hours were spent tending the deer and working at the stove. At noon Erin fried thin slivers of meat from its haunch in her skillet, making sandwiches from the leftover biscuits for their dinner. It was as tender as Quinn had predicted, and she cooked up three apples for a lumpy bowl of sauce to go with it.
At twilight they ate supper. The neck roast was juicy, the meat falling off in long strings, but easily cut. She’d baked potatoes in the oven with it, and they ate by lantern light. Quinn refused to allow her to milk Daisy, and told her that his talents had grown to include the care of the cow.
She smiled at his quip, and gave in gracefully. The walk to the shed for chores was almost beyond her strength, and she nodded as he told her to stay inside.
The pain had come again, over and over during the afternoon, each time increasing in force, until she thought she’d drawn blood from biting at her lip.
In the midst of eating his supper, Quinn noticed, his watchful gaze finding the small swelling.
“What did you do to your mouth, Erin?” he asked, leaning across the table to lift her chin with his index finger.
She drew back, for months unused to a man’s touch against her flesh. She’d borne—almost welcomed—the weight of Quinn’s hands on her shoulders, felt their heated width through the material of her dress.
But this was different Like a caress, it was imbued with a personal quality of caring she’d seldom felt in her life.
Certainly not in those three years past, while she’d lived in the same house with Damian Wentworth.
“Erin?”
“I must have bitten it,” she said, turning from him.
He waited, unmoving. “Are you all right?” As if he sensed her discomfort, he touched her again, this time with the palm of his hand at the small of her back.
She closed her eyes, suppressing a groan. There, where his hand pressed with care, the pain had dwelt with harsh tentacles. Now her flesh felt as though it quivered, seeking the comforting presence of his palm.
“Are you all right?” His tone was genuinely worried now and he turned her to face him. “Erin?�
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Another sweeping, drawing sensation began, centering in the depths of her belly this time, quickly spreading to release an avalanche of pain to the middle of her back.
“No, I’m not,” she admitted in a thin, anxious wail. “I think something’s wrong, Quinn. I don’t know what it feels like to birth a child, but I think that’s what’s happening.”
“How long have you had pains?” He clutched her shoulders as if he would squeeze the answer from her flesh.
“Today, since early on. Several times over the past week or so, but just once in a while.” She chewed at her lip, and he nudged her chin with his finger.
“Don’t, Erin. You’ll draw blood.”
“If the baby comes now, it’ll be too early. He’ll be too small!” Her voice sobbed the final words and he drew her to lean against him, her head drooping to rest on his broad chest.
The pain surged, hitting her again, this time with the strength of a runaway train, and she almost collapsed under the sudden onslaught. Her groan escaped before she could close her lips against its release, and she reached with both hands for the tight rounding of her belly.
“Come on,” Quinn told her, lifting her with ease. “You’ll feel better on the bed.” In moments he’d pulled back the quilts and sheet, easing her down, watching as she curled on her side.
“Let me take off your shoes and stockings,” he said quietly, as if unwilling to mar the silence of her misery.
She nodded, allowing his touch as he slid his hands up her calves beneath the folds of her dress to draw down the round garters she wore, bringing her knit stockings with them. His hands turned her to her back, and she complied.
“Do you think you should get undressed?” he asked, clearly awkward at this stage of her disrobing.
Erin nodded, aware of the cessation of the pain. It had held her in its grip longer, much longer, than the last one and she feared its return.
“I’ll put on my nightgown,” she told him, swinging her legs in an awkward movement to the edge of the bed.
“Where is it?” He watched her, and she realized with a blend of embarrassment and relief that he Was not going to leave her alone.
“Under my pillow.”
He reached past her and grasped the gown, shaking it out and holding it up before himself. “Get your dress off,” he told her, and his tone would brook no argument.
Her fingers were shaking as she unbuttoned her dress and slid it from her arms to the bed. The chemise was next, and she forced herself to tug it up, rising a bit from the bed to draw it over her head, then holding it against her breasts.
Her face flaming, she reached for the hem of the gown, hanging like a shield between man and woman. Quinn was there, just two layers of flannel from view, and she slid the gown over her head, tugging at it, until he lowered it in place.
She pushed her arms into the sleeves and he bent to straighten it on her shoulders, meeting her gaze. He smiled, a mere twitch of his lips, as if he would encourage her thus.
“Stand up and let me get rid of your clothes,” he told her, and she obeyed, rising with his help, as if the process of birth, barely begun, had already robbed her of her strength.
He reached beneath the gown, his hands impersonal and circumspect as he drew her petticoat and drawers down with the voluminous fabric of her dress. Balancing herself with one hand on his shoulder, Erin stepped out of the rumpled pile of fabric, and drew in a deep breath.
The pain was returning. Too soon…too soon! Fear wrapped her in greedy arms as she bit against the bruised lip once more. Only the knowledge that Quinn Yarborough stood between her and the terrible night to come gave her courage.
Only his quiet presence and his hands holding hers in silent support allowed her to close her eyes, gritting her teeth against the raging beast that consumed her.
Chapter Four
Quinn’s hands were gentle, promising kindness, as did the warm glow of his eyes. Against her chilled flesh his fingers soothed, kneading the muscles of her calves as cramps beset her. His gaze comforted her, though how she sensed the compassion Erin could not have said. Yet there was, within his dark eyes, a generosity of spirit, a silent bathing of her pain, as if he would take it as his own.
And at the same time he was forthright, willing her with his soft-spoken encouragement to be at ease with his presence. For surely he sensed that she was totally unused to being viewed and handled in such a familiar manner by a man. Certainly not a man whose acquaintance she had made only several days ago.
“I’d say this is one hell of a time to get charley horses, ma’am,” he muttered, his hands working-to ease her pain. And as he spoke, he cast her a grin that could only be described as impertinent.
Erin bit at her lip, torn between embarrassment and gratitude. That this man would accept the task of delivering her child was more than she could imagine If he’d hightailed it down the mountain and left her to fend for herself, she would not have blamed him.
Indeed, she’d been stunned speechless when Quinn had taken it upon himself to ready her as best he could for the imminent birth of her babe. He’d lifted her from the bed to deposit her in the rocking chair while he spread a piece of canvas from the shed over her mattress, then covered it with the sheet.
She’d watched, her body convulsing twice in the throes of labor before he finished his task. Quinn’s eyes had watched her closely as she rubbed her belly and moaned at the peak of each throbbing pain. Then, with care, he had held her arm and lifted her from the rocking chair as she made her way back to the bed.
Giving birth was a messy business, she’d already discovered. Her water had broken midway across the floor, and only Quinn’s easy manner had allowed her any degree of calm.
“Happens every time one of God’s creatures gets ready to deliver its burden,” he’d said cheerfully. Then as he cleaned up both her and the floor he’d told her about the various animals he’d helped into the world.
The cramps in her legs had begun soon afterward, and she shivered within the folds of her last clean nightgown.
“You’ve not delivered a child, have you?” Erin managed to ask, trying not to notice as his hands massaged her thigh, where another knotted muscle made her cry out.
“Would you feel better if I told you a tall tale?” he asked, and then smiled as she hesitated to answer.
“I’ve hauled calves and colts into this world. I’ve watched cats and dogs deliver more blind little creatures than you can shake a stick at. And in every case, things worked out as they were supposed to.”
He eased his body straighter, tugging her gown down to cover her knees. “There, that seems to have done the trick.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, feeling the flush creep up from her breasts to bring heat to her face. “I don’t mean to be ungrateful. I’m just not used to.”
Quinn smiled again, and his eyes were crinkled at the corners. “We’re in this together, honey. I can’t say it’s what I’d have chosen, but I’m sure as hell glad I’m here. You’d be in sad shape if you were facing this alone.”
Erin nodded. “I know that.” And then she drew up her legs, turning her head aside as another pain began its assault. Again the tension mounted, and once more the muscles of her belly and back rebelled as her womb drew in upon itself. Erin closed her eyes and leaned her head against the wall, her fingers widespread against the hard surface of her abdomen.
“Try to relax,” Quinn said, his own big hands covering hers, as if he would lend his strength to her endeavor.
She nodded, inhaling sharply as the pain reached a pinnacle. It began a downward slide, and she counted the throbbing beats of her heart as her body softened and relaxed against the sheet beneath her.
It was the middle of the night before the pain took a new twist, and Erin cried out for the first time as she was caught up in the vise that gripped her. Barely had she caught her breath when the onslaught began anew.
“Don’t fight against your body,” Quinn murmured
, his fingers offering hers a place to grip. She clutched at him, abandoning all pretense of dignity as she was engulfed by the white-hot torture her body could only accept.
Whether it lasted for minutes or hours, she could not have judged. Only the blurred edges of Quinn Yarborough’s face remained in her line of vision, and she squinted her eyes as she sought some measure of reassurance there. If his smile was strained, she ignored it. If his brow was furrowed, she was too intent on her own suffering to pay it any mind.
Survival was the issue, and Erin was determined to find ease from the agony of this night. If that meant using her muscles to push the baby into the cruel realities of the world, then she would do as this man asked and push with all of her strength.
“That’s the way,” Quinn said, his voice coming to her in the mist of her misery. “Push, Erin. Push hard.”
She heard her wail of despair as if it came from another’s mouth, and cringed at the message it delivered.
“I can’t. I can’t do this anymore!” Surely that wasn’t her speaking those words of surrender. Her breath rasped loudly as she inhaled and concentrated on the words Quinn spoke once more.
“Yes, you can! Listen to me, Erin. Take a deep breath again. Now, push. Hear me? Push!” His tone was filled with command now. He’d done with being kind, she decided, and almost laughed at the thought. As if a laugh could have been formed from her throat. As if she could think of anything but the rending of her body.
And then there was a silence that threatened to swallow her whole, perhaps lasting for only a moment after all, ending with the fragile wail of her child. Her mind welcomed it as she was swallowed up by the bed beneath her.
Just so quickly, every bone in her body relaxed from the strain of the battle fought and won. Just so brutally, she felt an overwhelming weariness seize her, and she could only reach a hand to the man who held her babe.
“Let me see.” Erin’s words whispered from between dry lips. She blinked, willing her vision to clear, only vaguely aware that tears flowed in a steady stream. And then she saw the tiny, wizened face of a being so minute, so infinitely precious, it came near to halting the beat of her heart.
Carolyn Davidson Page 5
