“You look good, hystrix. If only I could peel off some of your blades and uncover that soft belly beneath.” The low pitch of his voice, for my ears alone, shimmered over my senses deliciously. “Maybe later tonight, we can meet in our—”
I cut him off with a lifted hand. It hurt too much to think about that, to flirt with him when I couldn’t have him. We were never really supposed to have as much as we did to begin with. I’d have to be satisfied with the memories if I lived. Hopefully those wouldn’t get erased, too.
“I had an interesting day,” I told him. “I spoke with Karyn. And with your mother.”
“Oh?” He went from lover to warrior in an instant. Hulda was the fool, if she couldn’t recognize that her son’s mind was sharper than any blade he might wield.
I summarized it for him, as I’d report on any information-gathering mission. He listened intently, without interrupting, showing no sign of reaction to his mother’s plan. When I finished, he raked hands through his hair, disordering the perfect styling, then gave me a rueful smile.
“I told you Karyn wouldn’t take freedom over rank.”
“You didn’t tell me she was an idiot,” I retorted, then felt a little bad. Karyn wasn’t stupid, just a product of her upbringing.
Kral sighed and picked up my hand, turning it over to stroke the calluses. He shouldn’t be touching me, but so far no one else had entered the room, and I didn’t have the heart to stop him. I really needed to be touched, if only that much.
“She is not like you,” he said quietly. “You have so much boldness, so fierce in everything you do. I don’t think you understand what it’s like for someone to be afraid of losing everything. People will suffer a great deal simply to hold on to what they have, even if they are miserable, for fear of having nothing at all.”
He was wrong. I did understand. The spectre of losing everything prowled at the back of my mind like a starving bear in a cave, seizing on any scrap of hope and devouring it.
“What do you want for your favor, for winning the bet?” I asked him, with equal softness, bracing myself for the answer.
“Can you do it? Kill him from here?”
I glanced at the carved screen. No room for doubt. “Yes.”
His gaze glittered with ambition. “You would do this for me, no questions asked.”
Shaking my head a little, I studied him. He’d make a reasonably good Emperor, better than Hestar. No worse than others. “You won the bet,” I pointed out.
“And my mother’s plan to make you Empress?”
“Count me out. Karyn is your wife; she deserves to be one in truth. With this change, you can bed her. Give her a full existence, children for you both. You won’t be so lonely then.”
His hand tightened on mine. “I don’t want her. I’m . . . Jepp, I don’t see ever wanting another woman again. You are the one I crave, that I see in dreams and wake longing to touch.”
The words coiled through me with answering need and keening regret. “Well, of course. Once you’ve had the best, all other women pale.”
He didn’t laugh or smile, however. “It’s more than that. These last days—I hear something interesting and I look to see what you think of it, and it drives me crazy that you’re not there. I want you with me. At my side, like we were on the Hákyrling.”
That gave me an actual, physical pain. I missed that time, too. Maybe it was the awfulness of being in the Imperial Palace, but those days aboard the Hákyrling, the nights with Kral, had taken on a certain glow. They might have been the happiest days of my life. But . . .
“Things can’t be like that again, Kral,” I said, as gently as I knew how. “Your place is here.”
“They can be like that, here,” he insisted. “If you don’t want Karyn dead, if you don’t want to be Empress, I can make you second wife. You could live here with me, in my rooms even, if you don’t like the seraglio. Be my bodyguard. Be my lover. We’re good together. You can’t deny that.”
I pulled away my hand, unable to bear that meager contact any longer. His heat, his spicy scent, beckoned to me too strongly. We were good together. The best I’d ever had. We seldom marry our great passions. I shook my head again. “You know that would never work. We had a good run, you and I. Let’s call it good. If you want to do something for me, be . . . be kind to Karyn. Be a generous lover. Take your time and teach her what she doesn’t know. She’s intelligent and pays attention. She can be a good wife and lover. Just don’t let your mother poison her.”
“I can handle my mother,” he said grimly, though most of his unhappiness was for my refusing him, the pain clear in his eyes. “What will you do, then?”
Drawing the scroll from my belt, I gave it to him. “If you can’t save my life tonight, I’m asking you to send this to the High Queen.”
Of course he unrolled it, scowled at it. “I can’t read it.”
“No,” I replied with what I figured was admirable patience. “It’s in Common Tongue.” And the Hawks’ shorthand style.
“I’m not sending back unknown information to a foreign monarch, not even for you.”
So much for protestations of eternal devotion. “Fine.” I snatched it back. “If I get out of here alive, I’ll find a way to get it back.”
“And I’ll find a way to keep you alive and safe. Trust me that my mother’s threats are empty ones.” He lifted a hand to touch my cheek but dropped it before making contact. “Then we’ll talk more.”
“I can’t stay here, Kral.” I felt a little desperate at that moment, because part of me—a surprisingly large part—wanted to be with him badly enough to forget all other considerations. But that was my libido thinking. All along I’d been weak where he was concerned, letting lust lead. Making the same mistakes, over and over. I’d die in this place, even if my body lived, my heart and spirit withering day by day. “I don’t belong here, living in that seraglio or not, worrying about every bite of food or drop of liquor that passes my lips, served by people who are slaves. I hate everything about this place. I hate that there are locks on everything, that I can’t hunt in the forest without passing through umpty-million guard stations. That there are people in those entertainment salons being tortured and humiliated because it gets someone else off.” I had to drag in a long breath because I’d run out of air, and Kral took advantage of the pause.
“I could change things. Once I’m in power, I could—”
“Change an entire society? You can’t even change your own thriced mind about how women should be treated. I love you, but I can’t live here, even for you.”
He looked like I’d thunked him between the brows with the hilt of my big knife. “You . . . what?”
I threw up my hands in silent exasperation. Time was slipping by, and any moment now someone would enter the room. “We don’t have the luxury of a big heart-to-heart right now.”
“I don’t care,” he growled, grabbing my arm and yanking me closer. “You said you loved me.”
“Don’t you see? It doesn’t matter. Sure—against all reason and rationality, I love you. Or something like it. Like I would know. You rock my personal boat like no one else I’ve ever met. But it doesn’t change anything. You might be the great passion of my life, but there’s a saying my mother taught me that we seldom marry our great passions. I cannot give up who I am for you.” I wrested out of his grip to wipe my eyes.
“You never cry,” he said, looking wrecked.
“I know. See how bad you are for me?”
He set his jaw. “I’d like the opportunity to try to be good for you. I would like to do something to make that list of people you respect.”
I laughed breathily, my chest tight. “You want to do something—send Ursula this message. I promise there’s nothing in it to compromise the empire. It’s . . . it’s what she asked me to find out, and I don’t want to die having failed in that.”
“You’re not going to die.” But he took the scroll and tucked it in a pocket of his cloak. Something se
ttled in me for at least one task accomplished.
“I don’t want to die, so I’m counting on you for that. If it looks bad, just get me out of the Imperial Palace. Across the lake would be nice, but I’m not choosy. I can handle myself from there.”
He blew out a breath. “I know you can. I wouldn’t believe it of anyone else, but I have no doubt you’d find a way home.”
“Sweet talker.” We stared at each other a long moment, and I very nearly threw myself into his arms for one last embrace. Fortunately, Danu still smiled on me enough that I didn’t.
24
Inga, Helva, and Karyn, trailed by a wake of other ladies, entered the room, stopping short in surprise at the sight of us.
“Your Imperial Highness,” Inga said, recovering her poise and shooting me a sharp sideways glance. “We apologize for interrupting your meeting with the ambassador.”
“No need,” Kral replied, drawing on imperious arrogance like another cloak. “We needed to speak prior to the evening’s activities, and this location served the purpose.”
“What purpose is that, my lord husband?” Karyn practically snarled, thrusting herself between us and even risking a glance at him. “To flaunt your foreign rekjabrel under my nose to humiliate me and my family that much more?”
“Careful, little wife,” Kral murmured. “The law does not stand with you in this matter.”
“Because the law cares nothing for women or their fragile hearts!” she cried, then burst into copious tears. “I have been ever faithful to you—still a virgin, praying six times a day that someday you will come to me and give me children. And this is how you reward my loyalty?”
Kral met my gaze, and I gave him a rueful smile. “You’re right,” he said to her. It shocked her enough that she stopped crying, like a kid caught out midtantrum. “You’re right,” he repeated, “and I was wrong to treat you so. This day marks a change between us.”
“How?” She breathed the question, startled hope in her face almost painful to witness. “The Emperor’s edict binds us.”
“I will petition His Imperial Majesty to change his edict. I have reason to believe he will.” Kral glanced at me again, then set his jaw and concentrated on Karyn. “I will be a better husband to you, as faithful to you as you’ve been to me. Ambassador, ladies, I must go. Karyn, would you allow me to escort you, along with the Imperial Princesses?”
She nodded, hesitantly taking the arm he offered. He left without looking at me again. Inga and Helva fell in behind, both giving me raised eyebrows of inquiry. The other ladies ignored me as always—well, ignored me to my face, but no doubt made me the topic of their whispered conversations. They picked out their favored seats and I wandered about the room, picking my vantage point and calming my mind for the task ahead.
Below, people assembled. Hulda arrived, causing quite a stir of interest, and went up to speak to Kral. Interestingly, Hulda did not bother with casting her eyes down. Instead, she spoke for some time, while Kral maintained an expression of polite interest that told me nothing. Karyn still clung to his arm, doing an admirable job of appearing serene. She looked right beside him. Beautiful, even regal, in her elaborately embroidered and draped klút. I hadn’t noticed before, but she wore the deep blue that matched Kral’s uniform, bewitchingly stitched with silver-thread spiderwebs and studded with crystals so she sparkled like the crystalline lamps hanging from the ceiling.
Hestar arrived with his entourage and took note of the Dowager Empress’s presence, tellingly scanning the room for threats. Not a foolish man. He moved to greet both her and Karyn, even taking Karyn’s hand, saying something that made her smile. The four spoke congenially for some moments; then all laughed at some joke. Just another happy family.
Then Hestar raised a hand and everyone fell silent, even the ladies around me, though they slid expectant looks from me to Kral and Karyn and back again. Suppressed excitement vibrated in the air. Hestar took his throne.
“Brother, I understand you have a petition to make, but first let me welcome Her Imperial Highness Princess Karyn Konyngrr af Hardie to the Imperial Palace. You are most welcome in this visit.”
He emphasized that last ever so slightly, a repressive eye on Kral.
Karyn curtsied, chimes on her outfit ringing delicately in the expectant hush. Taking her hand, Kral bent over and kissed it, simply oozing with polished charm. “Your Imperial Majesty, when we wed at your direction, we pledged to you, our family, and all the people of Dasnaria that our marriage bed would remain pure and untainted until you established your heirs.”
“And we are grateful for the peace you’ve guaranteed with your sacrifice,” Hestar replied. “However, if you are considering requesting that I allow you to consummate your marriage, let me prevent you from making such a grave misstep that would anger me greatly. The inheritance of the throne of Dasnaria must remain undisputed if we are to have peace.”
“Her Imperial Highness and I understand and appreciate that position. We would not ask for such a thing.”
Karyn shifted, her hand tightening on Kral’s, but otherwise did not react. I had a clear path to Hestar, from my position near a largish opening in the screen. Left eye or right?
“In my travels, I’ve had much time to contemplate,” Kral was saying. “My first wife is a beautiful young woman from a powerful family. I am lucky to have called her mine. I have come to see, however, that it has been unfair of me to ask her to continue in this celibate marriage. Karyn has her entire life ahead of her, children she could bear to another husband. Therefore, I’m offering her freedom before Your Imperial Majesty and all our family, including my cherished mother, the Dowager Empress Hulda. Karyn, should you wish it, I will agree to annul our marriage.”
I scratched my head, slipping a shirikin into my palm, readying myself. Karyn, though, hesitated. The ladies around me held as still as rabbits under brush as the coyote goes by. Then she raised her chin and met Kral’s gaze. Letting my breath out to steady my hand, I focused on Hestar’s right eye. Once Karyn declared herself content to stay, I’d throw.
“Thank you, my lord husband,” Karyn said. “I accept your offer. I will take my freedom and resign all claim to the Konyngrr name.”
Utter chaos exploded.
Hestar sprang to his feet, shouting in outrage, spoiling my carefully planned shot. Kral stared at Karyn, utterly flabbergasted. The ladies around me sent up a caterwauling of consternation, dire predictions, and wails of terror. Even Hulda looked astonished.
Of them all, only Karyn seemed unmoved, though she swallowed hard.
“Silence!” Hestar roared, everyone instantly obeying. “Karyn Konyngrr af Hardie—are you in your right mind in this decision, free of coercion?”
“I am, Your Imperial Majesty. I’m willing to accept the consequences of my decision. I realize that I’ll be banished from the Dasnarian Empire, but it’s a price I’m willing to pay.”
My mind raced to reframe my options. I no longer owed Kral a favor. I’d won our foolish bet, so cavalierly made back on the Hákyrling, with so little thought to the ramifications. I could escape with Karyn’s entourage and call on Kral to help me, to send the Hákyrling to convey me to this side of the Nahanaun Islands. I could then make my way to the barrier and find a way to send a message, so someone would come to help me cross.
Hope flooded me, a bright counterbalance to all the dread that had haunted my day, all the grief of parting from Kral.
“I grant the annulment,” Hestar was saying, an unpleasant smile creeping through his beard. “And, Karyn af Hardie, lest our other women seek to emulate this disloyal, unfeminine course, I sentence you to death. Guards, take her to the tower. She will burn at dawn.”
Hope shattered again.
I still had the shirikin in my hand, but no clean shot. I’d hesitated too long. The guards dragged off a hysterically weeping Karyn. Hestar departed in a cluster of his own guard. Kral remained where he was, as if frozen to the spot. Hulda spoke sharply to him, but
he seemed not to hear, then glanced up at our eyrie. Gathering herself, Hulda strode in our direction, and I became aware that all the ladies stared at me, whispering viciously among themselves.
One thing was certain: I did not want to be there when Hulda arrived.
I sheathed the shirikin in my headdress and slipped out the far door, finding myself on an open balcony that led onto yet another observation salon. Figuring I should be directly above one of the waiting areas that led to the throne room, I stripped off the hindering skirt, stuffed it behind a curtain, then climbed over the ornate railing. The curlicues made for excellent handholds as I shimmied along, working my way to the massive crystalline lamp that hung from the ceiling I clung to. Hot wax dripped on my hands as the thing swung with my weight, careful as I was, but I ignored the sting, concentrating on not setting myself on fire. Quite the drop to the floor below, still.
Hulda’s demanding voice rang from above, intensifying my incentive. I let go.
The plush carpet cushioned my drop and roll, allowing me to gain my feet and dash into the next salon. A startled guard shouted at me to stop, and I put a dagger in his throat. As much as I’d wanted to kill something all day, I didn’t enjoy having to do it.
I should have killed Hestar when I had the chance. Now I had no choice but to rescue Karyn.
With no planning, no knowledge of where they were holding her, and no allies.
I didn’t know what I’d done to piss off Danu so badly, but the bitch goddess clearly had it in for me.
A point further proven when I rounded a corner to nearly collide with Inga. She narrowed her pretty aqua eyes at me, then glanced curiously at the ceiling. “Ambassador. How did you manage to be here already?”
“Fleet feet,” I answered. “And I’m afraid I can’t linger.”
She sidestepped to block me. I’d have to be rude to get past her, and I really didn’t want to gather more enemies on my trail. “What did you think of what just occurred?”
The Edge of the Blade Page 30
