Jeffrey.
He had been by her side throughout it all. Despite everything she’d put him through, the accusations, the misery—her husband had stuck by her.
“How are you feeling?” Jeffrey asked. He was pensive, and Amanda felt ten times worst. Her husband was afraid to speak to her.
“I’m tired, but it’s not so bad. Did you see Madelyn on her way out?”
He nodded. “She’s beautiful, Amanda. I still can’t believe...after all this time...” She watched him struggle to swallow back tears. She reached for his hand, and after hesitating slightly, he entwined his with hers and gave a heartfelt squeeze.
“She’s a gift from God,” Amanda said, rubbing her thumb over the back of his hand.
“She’s the most precious thing in my life.” He stared into her eyes. “So are you.”
Tears flowed down her cheeks like a dam had burst open. Amanda could barely catch a breath.
“I know you’re not up for it yet, but when you’re better, we need to have a serious discussion. We are not getting a divorce,” he said with finality. “I don’t know why I ever agreed to it. We are going to work through whatever our problem is, but I am not about to lose you.”
“Oh, Jeffrey,” Amanda whispered. She pulled him down to her, wrapping her arms around him. “Jeffrey, sit down.”
“No,” he pushed himself up, shaking his head. “Not right now. This can wait until you’re better.”
“No, it can’t,” Amanda said. “I’ve kept something from you, and I don’t want our new family to start out with this secret hanging over it.”
The apprehension on his face sent another stab of guilt down her spine.
He hooked his foot around the leg of the chair and brought it next to her bed, never releasing her hand. Taking a deep breath, Jeffrey sat beside her. He squeezed her hands and brought her fingers to his lips.
“Thanks for letting me touch you,” he said.
Amanda closed her eyes to the hurt slicing through her chest. God, she didn’t deserve this man. Anyone else would have been long gone after the turmoil she’d caused.
“I’m bipolar,” she said with a rush, before she lost her nerve.
His eyes widened. He stared at her for long moments, the silence stretching between them.
“How long have you known,” he asked.
Amanda swallowed past the guilt lodged in her throat. “About ten years,” she answered.
“What?” His fierce whisper sliced through her. Jeffrey rose from the chair. He raked his hands down his face and began pacing the short length of her hospital room. “Why did you keep this from me? How could I not know my own wife is bipolar?”
“I’ve been on medication.”
“For ten years?”
She nodded. “I started to sense that something wasn’t quite right about a year after we were married. I suspected I was possibly bipolar when I recognized I was doing some of those same things my mom used to do, staying up for days at a time, cleaning the house from top to bottom several times a week.”
“I just thought you were trying to impress me.” He shook his head.
“No, Jeffrey, they were manic episode. I found out about a clinic through an online message board for families dealing with mental illness.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I couldn’t,” she choked out. “You know what happened to my parents, to my mother.”
“Because she refused treatment,” Jeffrey said. “Because she shut out the rest of her family. Why would you follow in her footsteps?”
“I didn’t want to follow in her footsteps. That’s why I sought help. I didn’t want to end up like her.”
He shook his head, visibly upset. “I cannot believe you kept this from me. That you would go through this alone instead of trusting me.”
Amanda bit her trembling bottom lip, her heart sinking at Jeffrey’s disappointment. “I know how you felt about living with someone suffering with bipolar disorder. You told me you never wanted to live the type of life my father lived. I was afraid you would leave if you found out.”
“Goodness, Amanda.” He ran his hands down his face again. “Did you really think I would leave you to suffer alone?”
“I’m sorry.” She covered her mouth with her free hand, unable to quell her sobs. “Jeffrey, I’m so sorry. I’ve put you through so much, and you didn’t deserve any of it.”
“Wait.” He halted his methodical pacing. “You told me your mother used to accuse your father of being unfaithful.”
“She suffered from paranoid delusions,” she said in a broken whisper.
“That’s what this is about, isn’t it? That’s why you think I’ve been cheating on you.”
She tried to explain. “I had everything under control, but my hormones screwed with my medication once I became pregnant,” she sniffed. “That’s when the delusions started.”
“I never cheated,” Jeffrey argued.
“I know. Even when I was accusing you, I knew you would never do that. I just couldn’t help what my mind believed to be true. That’s why when I realized there was a chance the medication would no longer control the bipolar disorder I decided to set you free. I knew you didn’t want to be married to a crazy person.”
“You never gave me the chance to say what I wanted. How could you decide the fate of our marriage without even consulting me?”
“You didn’t deserve to be stuck in the kind of marriage my parents had.”
“Would you forget your damn parents! I am not your father. And you’re not your mother. You faced your sickness where she never could. You are so much stronger than she is.”
Amanda’s throat ached with guilt, shame, and hope. “Jeffrey, I don’t want a divorce,” she said, emotion choking her words. “I want to get back on my medication, and if they don’t work, I’ll just find a combination that does. But I want you to be there with me. I want to raise Madelyn with you as my husband, not just as our baby’s father.”
“Oh, baby,” he leaned over her, placing a heartbreakingly gentle kiss upon her lips. “There’s nothing I want more.”
Tears rolled down her eyes. “I am so sorry I put you through this,” Amanda whispered.
“I’m sorry you tried to face it on your own.” Jeffrey brought her hand to his lips. “But you don’t have to anymore. I’m going to be with you in every single way I can. You and Madelyn are my life. You’re the reason I breathe. I’m never letting anything come between us again.”
Amanda looked to the heavens, laughing through her tears, and she realized for the first time in months—possibly years—she felt happiness. It was like finding an old friend. “Thank you,” she said to her husband, clutching his hand like a lifeline. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”
“Never,” he answered in a fierce whisper. “And I won’t let you give up on you either.”
Chapter Twenty-Seven
“I thought you were gonna kick my butt.” Unsheathing his four iron, Toby took practice swings at the teed ball.
Eli rolled his eyes. “Would you take your shot so we can finish this damn round?”
“Kinda testy, huh?” Toby sent the ball soaring down the fairway. He must have been practicing these last few months.
“What happened at the grocery store,” Eli asked, picking up the conversation they’d started over lunch.
“Oh, man. You will not believe this! We’re standing in the frozen food section and this girl walks past us. At first, I thought she was looking at me, but no, she’s checking out the monk over here.”
“Must we relive this?” Alex asked, shielding his eyes from the sun and leaning on his bag of clubs.
Toby ignored him. “She’s sending him serious sex eyes. And, let me tell you, baby girl was kickin’. She had an ass made for grabbing, and remember, we’re in frozen foods, so the nipples were standing at attention like they were saluting the flag.”
“I wish Mama could hear you right now,” Alex said.
&
nbsp; “Would you shut up and let me finish the story,” Toby shot back. “Anyway, after giving homeboy over here every kind of signal under the sun, she comes right out and tells him her name. You want to know his reply?”
“I can only imagine,” Eli mused.
“He says, ‘I’m Alexander, and I’m not interested.’” Toby tried to mimic Alex’s deeper baritone. “I’m thinking to myself what the hell? The girl was ready to invite him back to her car for a quickie and that’s how he answers her.”
“She was a teenager, Toby.”
“She was at least twenty.”
“What am I supposed to do with a twenty-year-old?”
Both Eli and Toby turned and looked at their brother.
Toby shook his head. “This is so sad. How could you let this man go so long without getting some? He’s so far gone he doesn’t know what to do with it when it’s staring him in the face!”
“I have to hear enough of this from Eli. Don’t you start, too,” Alex said. “Besides, from what I hear, it’ll be a while before the good doctor here gets any himself.”
“E?” Toby pointed his thumb toward him. “What’s he got to complain about? He’s elbow deep in it every day.”
Eli threw a wooden golf tee at Toby’s head. “That’s my job, fool. And whether or not I’m getting any is beside the point,” he said to Alex. “I could go without sex for a year, and would still be a year up on you.”
“Hold on.” Toby pulled his glove off with his teeth. “You’re going out with one of the finest women I’ve ever seen. Is she against sex before marriage or something?”
Eli looked over at Alex, who stared back at him with a look that said, “If you don’t say anything, I will.”
“I’m not seeing Monica anymore,” Eli admitted. Damn, but Mama had a big mouth.
“What did you do, man?” Toby asked.
“Why do I have to be the bad guy?”
“She wouldn’t have left if you hadn’t done something to foul things up.”
“What makes you think she left? Maybe I dumped her.”
“You’re not that stupid,” Toby answered. “At least I didn’t think you were that stupid. Please tell me you’re not that stupid, E?”
“He’s not that stupid,” Alex answered for him. “I don’t know what it is about you this week, but you’ve managed to piss off every female you’ve come in contact with.”
Eli shook his head. “You’re right. First I miss Mama’s birthday dinner, then for some reason Monica freaks out on me.”
“And don’t forget your niece,” Alex said.
“My niece? What did I do to her?”
“Apparently, you called her by her name.”
“I did what?”
“You called her Jasmine. You would have thought the sun dropped out of the sky or something. It took going out for ice cream and to that Build-A-Bear place in the mall to cheer her up. You owe me thirty-five bucks, by the way.”
Eli cursed under his breath. Even his Jazzy Bean was mad at him.
“What are you going to do about Monica?” Toby asked.
How many times had he asked himself that question? The answer remained the same. “Nothing,” Eli declared. “There’s nothing I can do. She said it’s over.”
“Does she still want Aria to perform for the banquet tomorrow night?”
“Yes. Definitely. It’s still about saving the Parenting Center. We’ve used Aria Jordan’s name to sell most of the tickets.”
“Damn, E. She was good for you. I really thought you’d found Mama’s next daughter-in-law.”
If only...
“Sorry to cut the round short, but I have to bail so I can check on a few patients.”
“I have to go, too.” Alex said.
“Aww, man. You two are a couple of suckers,” Toby said. “You’re only leaving because I’m winning.”
Eli and Alex passed each other knowing grins.
“Next time you’re in town, man. We’re going the whole round,” Eli said.
“Yeah,” Alex called. “I’m gonna bring my A game.”
“If you had an A game,” Toby replied.
Eli hooked his towel on his bag and pulled the strap onto his shoulder. “I’ll catch you guys tomorrow night.”
“Take it easy, man.”
“You, too,” he called to Alex. “And tell Jazzy I’m sorry.”
“I’ll tell her, but she’s not letting you off the hook that easy. She’s a vengeful little thing. That girl’s got more of her mama in her than I care to think about.”
“Please don’t say that,” Toby said, still practicing his swing. A quartet was making its way to the ninth hole.
“Don’t worry, I’m going to get it out of her before it’s too late.”
“Tell her Uncle Eli is bringing a special surprise to Sunday dinner. I’ll see y’all later.”
When Eli arrived at the hospital, he stopped in on Amanda Daniels. She was sitting up in bed, cradling her daughter. The smile on her face was one of pure, unadulterated happiness.
“You were made to have a baby in your arms,” Eli said by way of greeting.
Amanda beamed up at him. “Isn’t she the most precious baby in the world?”
“The universe.” He walked over to the bed. “Does she have a name yet?”
“Madelyn Rose.”
“Hello little Madelyn,” Eli said, letting the baby wrap her hand around his pinkie finger.
“Thank you, Dr. Holmes.” Amanda covered both his and the baby’s hand with her own. “Thank you for everything you’ve done. I could not have asked for a better doctor.”
“You’re welcome,” he answered. “Now, you do realize my special services are not free. I expect an invite to her first birthday party, and school pictures.”
“Of course,” Amanda laughed.
Jeffrey walked in. “Hey, Dr. Holmes.”
Eli shook his hand. “Congratulations again on your beautiful little girl.”
“I don’t know how to repay you, Doc,” Jeffrey said with sincere appreciation.
“Just take care of your wife and little Madelyn. I’ll see you guys later.”
“Have fun at the banquet tomorrow,” Amanda called out.
Eli waved in reply and headed down the hallway. He would look in on a few other patients then pick up some paperwork from his office and head home. He didn’t want to be in this hospital a minute longer than necessary.
It was a disheartening realization. Methodist Memorial was like a second home. He loved his work, and he loved the place where he practiced. But it just wasn’t the same anymore. Knowing Monica was just a few floors below left a pall over the hospital.
Eli made his rounds, stepped in the lounge to say hello to Otis, then headed for his office. He was stuffing charts into an old backpack he kept in the closet when there was a knock on the door.
“Come in.”
“Are you ready for your ass whipping?”
Eli dropped his head on the desk. “Hello to you too, Nia,” came his muffled reply.
“Don’t give me any hello. I’m coming to make good on my promise.”
He raised his head and motioned for her to come in.
“Did you not think I was serious?” Nia asked, shutting the door.
“I don’t know what happened,” Eli said.
“You broke her heart, hence, your impending ass whipping.”
“But I didn’t do anything.”
“You must have done something. I have never seen Monica so devastated.”
“I’m telling you, one minute we’re making love—”
She held up a hand. “Okay, I so do not want details.”
“—and the next, she’s out the door. She said my girlfriend showed up, but I don’t have a girlfriend. I have no idea what she’s talking about.”
“So you don’t have a tall, gorgeous girlfriend who drives a white BMW?”
“White BMW?” His head reared back.
“Monica told me about Miss
Thang’s visit the other night. Who is she?”
“Alicia,” Eli bit out, unable to believe that woman was still wreaking havoc in his life. “Alicia Taylor.”
Nia crossed her arms over her chest. “Was she only supposed to show up on Tuesdays and Thursdays?”
“She wasn’t supposed to show up at all. I’m not with Alicia anymore.”
“Maybe you should have told her that.”
“I have not seen Alicia since Monica and I started dating.”
“Then why was she at your house?”
“Because she’s freaking crazy. Nia, you have got to convince Monica to talk to me. If Alicia is the cause of this...” He was going to kill her, that’s what he would do. He would hunt her down and kill her!
Nia looked skeptical.
“Please.” He was prepared to get down on his knees and beg.
“I don’t know. I love Monica like a sister, and I don’t know if I can take seeing her go through this again.”
“Nia, I love her, too. I love her. I would never do anything to hurt her. You have got to believe me. If I had known this was all because of Alicia…”
Nia shook her head, then sighed. “I’m not sure it will make a difference. When you’ve been burned, you’re not too eager to get close to the fire again. And Monica has been burned badly.”
“She told me about Patrick Dangerfield.”
Nia’s eyes widened in surprise before she said, “Well, you’re in the same boat with him, buddy.”
Eli jumped up from his chair, crossing over to where she stood just inside the doorway. “No. I am not like him. Nia, you have got to help me.”
“I don’t know why I believe you.”
“Because you know I’m good for her.”
“I’m not convinced of that yet.”
Eli sent her another pleading look.
She held up her hands. “I’ll see what I can do, but I’m not making any promises.” She cut her eyes at him. “I hope you know how lucky you are.”
Eli captured her hands. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me yet. More than likely, Monica’s going to put both me and my husband out for arguing on your behalf. I hope you’ve got extra room at your house. On second thought, I’d rather stay at your Mama’s. At least I’d have decent food to look forward to.”
Deliver Me Page 28
