by King, Deja
“That’s what I was telling you earlier, I don’t want to be one of those having a baby for a famous dude so I can be somebody types.”
“I don’t want to be one of those either. I don’t have to nor want to be in the spotlight. I just want me and my child to be very well taken care of. But when you’re like Priscilla, desperate for some fame, dropping a bunch of babies and still not making it to wife status you start making us all look stupid. I wish she would go sit her tired ass down somewhere and concentrate on raising her kids. She is too old for that bullshit. If she ain’t got the ring and walked down the aisle by now it’s time to give it up.”
“Girl, that’s why I got to hurry and get my shit together before my time be up! I’m sure Priscilla never thought she’d be forty with four kids and still a baby mama.”
“Dior, you’re only twenty-four, you’ve gotplenty of time.”
“They were all twenty-four at one time too. It seems like yesterday we were eighteen coming to New York. Time don’t stop.”
“I never thought about it that way. But you’re right. It seems like yesterday Destiny was born and now she’s about to be three.”
“I know shit is sweet with Kevin right now but I hope you’re working on a contingency plan. It’s one thing to be like me, broke and single. It’s another being broke with a child.”
“Girl, we about to go into this party, I don’t need the headache right now. We can discuss this on another day, preferably over a bottle of wine.”
“I feel you. Let’s go, the party awaits us!”
“Thank goodness you know that dude at the door,” I sighed, as we pushed our way through the crowd of people trying to get in the club.
“I wouldn’t have come if I didn’t. You know these types of shindigs be mad tight. Here, put on this vip wristband or we’ll be stuck with the regular people out here,” Brittani said, handing it to me. We maneuvered our way straight to the back where there was nothing but beefed up bodyguards and rope. There was a row of booths that were predominantly filled with NBA players. In front of each booth there was your obvious treasure hunters all dolled up in their best attire hoping they would catch a baller’s attention.
“Where are we going?” I finally asked not wanting to be standing amongst the other thirsty looking women.
“Right here,” Brittani stated before sitting down.
“You have a booth?”
“Why you look so surprised?”
“Because I am! How did you manage to get a booth?”
“Bitch, don’t play. It’s first class all the way. We can’t be up in a Lebron James party like we some low budget groupies. How am I gon’ score you a baller if we don’t look like we ballin’ ourselves!”
“Brittani, you are truly my girl! I’m so glad I came out tonight…I needed this!”
“Yes you do. Now sit back, we ‘bout to pop some bottles.” And that’s exactly what we did for the first hour of the party. We arrived at the perfect time where it wasn’t too crowded but it damn sure wasn’t empty. We were positioned in the ideal spot to watch as more and more people came through. Of course everybody was trying to get in the vip area especially the women. That was to be expected since that was where all the money was at. What made where we were sitting so great was that as packed as the rest of the club got the vip section remained uncongested.
“Hey, aren’t you that girl from the Phenomenon video?”
“Yes,” I smiled politely.
“If one more nigga ask you that question, I’ma put a sign on our table stating, ‘Yes this is the hot girl from the video’.”
“You so silly!”
“I ain’t silly, they silly. This section ain’t but so big so I know they’ve seen the guy before them and the other guy before and so on coming up to you.
But they keep asking the same dumb question.” We both were laughing because the shit was true. “Oh, and look who just showed up, your leading man.”
I turned in the direction Brittani was looking at and I saw Phenomenon and a couple of his friends sit down at the booth across from us. When he caught a glimpse of my face he put his hand up motioning for me to come over to his table.
“I do not feel like going over to his table.”
“Girl, go over there and speak to him. It’s a good look for you. All the guys will be able to get a clear view of you in that bad ass dress and you’ll start a bidding war up in this mutherfucka.”
“Brittani, you ain’t got no sense. I’ll be right back.”
“Take your time. ‘Cause all these dudes ‘bout to start coming over to our table wanting to know how to get at you. While you’re gone I’ll be putting them in the potential pile or garbage pile.”
I shook my head and made my way towards Phenomenon. When I got a few feet away I felt somebody reach for my arm. I was about to snap thinking it was some thirsty dude but when I turned I laid eyes on a familiar looking female’s face.
“Aren’t you the girl from Phenomenon’s new video?”
“Yes.” I was eyeing her crazy because I was thinking to myself this chick can’t be a fan. It’s a music video for goodness sakes.
“I thought that was you. Hi, I’m Courtney. I was supposed to do the video.” She gave me this cute smile and instantly I remembered her and that’s why she looked familiar. “You looked so pretty in the video. When I saw you I regretted not wanting to wear the lingerie. I thought it would come across as distasteful but seeing you in it made me realize that it didn’t.”
“I’m Dior and thank you.” Her genuinesweetness totally threw me the fuck off, the same way it did that day I saw her at the video shoot.
“You welcome. I know everybody probably wants to talk to you so I won’t keep you. I just wanted you to know that you were awesome in the video and since somebody had to replace me I’m glad it was you.”
“Thanks again…but listen, don’t regret not doing the video. You should never do something you’re not comfortable with. The right project will come along and it’ll be perfect for you.”
“You think so?”
“I know so.”
“Dior, you saying that means so much to me. I thought I had ruined my chances of breaking in this industry but now you’ve given me hope.”
“If you don’t mind me asking, how old are you, Courtney?”
“Eighteen.”
“Wow, that’s how old I was when I came to New York. You’ll be fine just stay focused.”
“I will. I thought you would be so stuck up but you’re a sweetheart,” she gushed.
“Now that’s a word I’ve never heard anybody use to describe me,” I giggled. “You’re the first and I’m sure you’ll be the last. I gotta go but have fun tonight.”
“You too and thanks. Hopefully we’ll run into each other again,” I heard Courtney say as I made my way to Phenomenon. I was ready to get away from Courtney because I couldn’t comprehend it but I had some sort of soft spot for her that made me uncomfortable.
“Damn, Ma, I know you a celebrity now but why you gotta keep a dude waiting so long,” Phenomenon said when I got to his table.
“You got jokes, we know you the only real celebrity up in here.”
“Not no more,” he shot back, using his chin to point over my shoulder. I turned around and saw Sway headed in our direction. To my disgust he had four chicks with him and one of them was Tracy.
“I see you took me up on my suggestion and started fuckin’ my leftovers,” Sway snarled.
“Sway man, I told you it wasn’t like that,” Phenomenon shot back.
“You ain’t gotta lie to me.”
“Exactly. So if I said it ain’t happenin’ then it must be true. ‘Cause like you said, I ain’t got to lie to you,” Phenomenon popped, letting Sway know he had no fear of him.
“Is that the dress I bought?” I guess since Sway couldn’t get a rise from Phenomenon he opted to start fucking with me.
“I don’t know what you’re talkin’ ‘bout.”
“Sway, what is your point?”
“Take that shit off now! I paid for it, I want it back.”
“You’re a lunatic, Sway. Phenomenon, I’m going back to my table. We’ll talk later.”
“No doubt, I’ll be over there to you as soon as some people move out the way,” he said mean mugging Sway.
“Excuse me,” I said trying to walk past Sway.
“You heard what I said, take off my dress.”
“I ain’t takin’ off nothing. I don’t fuck wit’ you no more so talk that shit to one of these silly hoes,” I barked, pointing my finger in his female companion’s direction.
“Bitch, don’t call me no ho,” Tracy barked back.
“Trick, shut the fuck up talkin’ to me. This nigga ain’t even got you in no new shit. You wearing an outfit my pussy done sweated up in. Now all of you move out my fuckin’ way.” I brushed past them, daring one of those heffas to breathe on me. I was ready to step out my five inch heels and put an old school beat down on one of them bitches.
“Dior, what the hell happened? I was over here taking down names and numbers for you. Next thing I know, I look up and see Sway and his gang of bitches looking like they ‘bout to tar and feather you.”
“Girl please, Sway is such a diva,” I said rolling my eyes.
“Well get ready for round two because here he comes again.”
“Damn, this nigga ain’t even giving me a chance to sit down and take a break! Sway, what do you want?” I huffed as soon as he walked up on me.
“Since you don’t want to give back what belongs to me then I’ll ruin it for you.”
“Excuse me, what the hell…” Before I could complete my sentence my face and entire body was being drenched in champagne. Everybody in the vip section stood frozen in astonishment. The only voices I heard was Sway’s gaggle of bitches laughing at what he had just done to me.
“Now I bet you wish you would’ve taken that dress off when I told you to,” were Sway’s departing words before emptying the rest of the champagne on me and walking off.
“Dior, I can’t believe Sway did that. Come sit down,” Brittani suggested but I couldn’t move. I was cold, wet and fucking embarrassed.
“Dior, are you ok? Put this on.” Phenomenon wrapped his coat around me but I still felt like shit. “That’s a foul nigga right there. He got issues fo’ real yo.”
“Come on, Dior, we’re leaving,” Brittani said grabbing my hand.
“You good, keep my coat. I know I’ll see you again.”
“Thanks, Phenomenon.”
I kept my head down the entire time until we got out the club and reached Brittani’s car. I was in complete shock and too many things don’t shock me. “I can’t believe Sway showed out like that.”
“I can. Clearly that nigga still got a hard on for you but instead of admitting he want you back, he want to make you fuckin’ miserable. He lowdown fo’ real. He’s like a spoiled brat. When he doesn’t get his way he has all sorts of uncontrollable tantrums. How did you deal wit’ that dude for so long? He’s worse than a child.”
“I know.”
“But you still like him don’t you?”
“He’s like nicotine and you know how hard of a habit that is to break.”
“You betta get on the patch or something ‘cause that nigga bad news.”
Brittani had no idea just how right she was. Sway was so bad for me and being away from him made it more evident. It wasn’t only the clothes, jewelry and designer bags I yearned for, it was also the drugs. When I was with him they were always around so I never had to be without it. It didn’t feel like a need only a desire. But now that my supply had been cut off I missed it. I had been trying so hard to fight that feeling of weakness from no longer having Sway in my life. But I was beginning to succumb to it and it was scaring the shit out of me.
“Dior, we’re here,” I heard Brittani yell out. “Are you okay? That was like my third time telling you we’re in front of your apartment building.”
“Sorry, I have so much on my mind.”
“I can only imagine, but try to get some rest. I know I keep telling you this, but it will get better.”
“I believe you’re right because it can’t get any worse. Goodnight, Brittani.”
When I woke up the next morning I had a ton of missed calls from Brittani. I figured it was of no importance and she was only calling to check up on me. I was starving but before I could make it to the kitchen my phone began ringing and it was Brittani again.
“I appreciate your concern, Brittani, but I’m okay so you can stop blowing up my phone.”
“You must didn’t read the paper this morning!”
“Huh?”
“Go to Page Six.”
“I don’t get the Post.”
“Turn on your computer and go online.”
“Can’t this wait until after I eat? I’m starving!”
“Get on your computer,” she demanded. I decided to do what Brittani asked because I figured the sooner I got her off the phone the sooner I could stuff my mouth.
“Oh my fuckin’ goodness!” I kept saying over and over again.
“Bitch, you’re back on the fuckin’ map! You can’t pay for that sort of publicity.” After I read it to myself like three times I read it out loud.
Maybe Hip Hop Superstar Sway isn’t over his former flame Dior after all. Sources say last night at Lebron James’s party he worked himself up in a jealous rage when he spotted his ex getting cozy with rising rap star Phenomenon. Sway must have thought that Dior’s leading lady role in Phenomenon’s new video wasn’t just for the cameras. Because he caused the beauty to leave the club after drenching the three thousand dollar dress he bought her in champagne.
“How fuckin’ amazing is that? He thought he was ruining your night but all he did was turn it around to work in your favor.”
“I can’t believe my luck. Maybe something good will finally come out of all this.”
“It already has. Everybody in the industry is talking about you right now and what went down at the party. Your stock just skyrocketed.”
“I understand all that but I need for this talk to turn into some paying gigs. A bitch is broke!”
“Be a little more patient. The tide is about to turn and soon the money will come.”
I so needed that to be true. But Brittani was right. I would be the leading topic for at least the next couple of days. This was the best thing that had happened to me since my breakup with Sway. I needed to keep the momentum going which was difficult especially since I didn’t have a publicist to plant bogus stories for me. But shit like that cost money because I didn’t know one publicist that worked for free.
When I got off the phone with Brittani I decided to call Lorenzo. Once again his phone rang and then went to voicemail. Unlike the other times I called, this time I decided to leave a voice message. He was making me feel ignored and I hated that. But I wanted to know if this King Magazine cover was legit. It was the only thing brewing for me at the moment. I knew they weren’t going to pay me for doing the cover but the exposure would bring in some much needed cash from other sources. I had my fingers crossed so tight that Lorenzo wasn’t bullshitting and would get in touch with me soon. I thought I would’ve heard back from him by now but it was like he just disappeared.
I was pacing back and forth wondering how I could get in touch with him. I meant to ask Phenomenon if he had spoken to Lorenzo but Sway sidetracked me with the show he put on. Oh, how things had changed in less than twenty-four hours. Last night I was embarrassed and pissed but now if I had the money, I would send Sway a bouquet of flowers, thanking him for the unintentional generosity he bestowed upon me.
After printing out the plug in Page Six I taped it on my kitchen wall. I tried calling Lorenzo one last time and since I couldn’t get him on the phone, I decided to fin
ally make myself something to eat. Between bites of my veggie omelet and drinking orange juice I continued to read the write up and smile at the same time. For the first time in a while I was feeling good. I turned my music on and brought some much needed life into my apartment.
“Dior, you are on your way,” I said out loud as I stood in front of my full length mirror. “No matter how hard he may try, Sway will not be able to stop me. Pretty soon, I’ll be back to walking the red carpet in the best designer clothes and it won’t be because Sway paid for them. The designers will be giving me clothes for free and will be begging me to wear their shit because I’ll give them press. Sway will regret the day he ever dumped me. I’ll be on all the blogs, magazines, doing television interviews and it won’t be as Sway’s girlfriend, it will be because I’m Dior.
I’ll show Sway and everybody else who thought I wouldn’t make it. I will be a star, I will be a star,” I repeated over and over again because I felt if I said it enough times, I would convince myself that it would come true.
Lorenzo
Hell Of A Life
“How is she doing?” I asked the doctor as I watched my mother sitting in her wheelchair staring out the window.
“We feel optimistic that we’ve found the right combination of medications but of course we won’t know for sure until we give it some time.”
“Has she started talking at all?”
“No, she’s still withdrawn in herself. As I told you before, Mr. Taylor, your mother may never speak again.”
I walked in my mother’s room and stood next to her but it was as if I wasn’t even there. Every time I would come to visit her the only thing that gave me peace of mind was that the doctor assured me she wasn’t in any physical pain but mentally my mother was gone. I didn’t know which one felt worse, when she was a drug addict or when she was diagnosed with being schizophrenia.
After her diagnosis I found the best private psychiatric treatment center in the state of New York but in the three years she’d been here instead of getting better she seemed to be fading further away. She went from hallucinations, delusions, disorganized speech to finally not speaking at all. At first I blamed the doctors, nurses anybody but it had nothing to do with them. My mother had been sick for a very long time but nobody noticed because her erratic behavior was blamed on her crack addiction. By the time I found her, my father was dead and I barely recognized her as being the woman that gave birth to me but she was. And even though she had been out of my life since I was a little boy, when I found her again, I still loved her as if she had raised me and never abandoned me.
