by Riley Knight
Once Julian relaxed a little, which Luca felt like he’d actually watched him do, he was something to behold, for sure. He was all over Luca, peeling his shirt over his head, stroking over his skin, his lips and hands everywhere.
Somehow, Luca managed to keep himself together enough to retaliate. He worked his fingers into the loosened waistband of Julian’s pants, tugging them down over his slender hips. It took only seconds to get them off, but Julian wasn’t content to just let that happen.
For the first time, Luca felt Julian’s slender, talented fingers so close to his cock that he throbbed and moaned and pressed closer to him. The smaller man undid Luca’s jeans, and then they were both in their underwear, kissing frantically, hands slipping over each other’s bodies.
“Touch me,” Julian moaned, his hips canting forward. Luca understood. Honestly, he felt the same, like he might not be able to keep breathing if his cock didn’t get some stimulation.
There was an easy way to solve that, for both of them. Once more, Luca pushed Julian back down onto the bed, and Julian went, pliant and eager. Luca straddled him, their bodies sliding together in a way that thrilled him deep down into his very soul, and resting on his knees with Julian between them, Luca pressed his aching cock right against Julian’s.
Amazing how they seemed to fit together perfectly, how they seemed to know how to move together, like they’d been together a million times. And yet there were all of the thrills of the very first time together, too, still the heat and passion. The best of both worlds and they’d barely gotten started.
Their erections slid together, and the layers between them added just enough friction to be interesting. Luca cupped the back of Julian’s head and kissed him as their hips canted and rocked together.
The pleasure started to build, and far quicker than Luca was used to. In seconds, with just a mere few frantic movements, he was ready to come, the heat building inside him until it felt inevitable that it would boil over and send him rocketing over that edge.
Maybe that wasn’t surprising, though. He’d already thought several times that he could come with Julian with far less stimulation than he was getting. This desperate grinding would be more than enough to do it.
“When … when you do it, when you have sex with another man,” Julian asked suddenly, gazing up at Luca with this intense expression that made him even more desperate for the other man, “How do you do it?”
Oh, God. He was dealing with a virgin. For the first time, the enormity of that really sunk in for Luca. He had dealt with, in his life, exactly one person’s virginity. His own. How was he going to know how to make it good for Julian, when he had no experience doing so?
“You mean, do I top or bottom?” Luca asked, his hips stilling against Julian’s as he gazed down at the other man. Julian, flushed brightly, nodded, and Luca shrugged. “I do either. The important thing is the pleasure and the connection. I can get those either way.”
Julian nodded, considering that, and then took a deep breath.
“I want to do it with you. Tonight.”
Luca hadn’t dreamed that this would happen. But he’d hoped. He would have been fine with whatever they did together, definitely, but this, this was his wildest desires come true. Something that he’d barely allowed himself to even think about because it seemed so impossible.
“Only if you want to,” Julian hastily amended, and Luca belatedly noticed that he’d been lost in his own head to the point where he must have just been staring at Julian blankly.
“Of course I want to,” Luca whispered, and then he let his fingers graze over Julian’s face, tracing the shape of his cheek, thumb brushing over those full, pretty pink lips. “How do you want it?”
It was Julian’s first time. Luca figured he should leave it up to him to decide how it was going to happen, because honestly, Luca would be thrilled to have it either way.
“I want you inside me,” Julian spoke quietly, but his voice was very firm and very sure of itself. “I know you’ll make it good. I want you to be my first.”
Technically, Luca knew he would be Julian’s first either way. He got what Julian meant, though. There was something very intimate about allowing someone to be inside you. The fact that Julian, who didn’t seem to trust very easily, actually trusted Luca enough to allow him that, that meant something incredible to him.
“I’ll sure the hell try,” Luca vowed. He took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. Protection. He needed condoms and lube.
“Do you have anything we could use for lube?” Luca asked. He reached for his discarded pants and tugged out his wallet, with the condom that he always carried there, just in case.
He was disappointed, but not honestly all that surprised, when Julian paused and then shook his head. Well, that made things more difficult, but Luca was still just as determined as ever. Not only was he not going to turn this down, but he was still going to make this as absolutely perfect for Julian as humanly possible.
“Does that mean we can’t?” Julian asked, and Luca laughed. There was just no way in hell that was going to happen.
“No. It doesn’t mean that. Spread your legs for me.”
By the look on the poor man’s face, Julian half expected Luca to just shove inside him right then and there. Still, he showed some trust in Luca, because he did spread his legs, lying on his back, apprehensive and utterly breathtaking as he opened himself for Luca, as he became vulnerable for him.
“I won’t hurt you,” Luca whispered, and he had never felt any words so deeply in his life, he’d never meant them even a fraction as much as he meant those ones. The amazing thing, too, was that Julian seemed to believe him. Luca actually got to watch as tension went out of the other man’s body, as he visibly relaxed for him.
The condom, he put aside, for the moment. He wanted both hands free, and one hand, he wrapped around Julian’s thick cock, so hard for him, so hot, the silky skin stretched with his arousal. The fingers of the other hand, he slipped between the full, round cheeks of Julian’s ass.
Slowly, he stroked along his length, keeping him aroused but not giving him the stimulation that he would need to come. The more desperate that Julian got, the more he would want Luca inside of him, and that would hopefully make it feel better when it happened.
When. God. Was he actually going to get to be inside this man?
Carefully, he stroked over his puckered entrance, rubbing at the sensitive skin. Julian gasped, then moaned, and gazing up at him, Luca was easily able to see that the other man liked it. It was so obvious. Julian had always been somewhat restrained, but Luca was now getting to see most of that restraint pulled away.
“Luca, don’t stop,” Julian moaned, and Luca smirked to himself. He carefully brought his fingers to his own mouth and sucked on them, getting them nice and slick. Once that was done, he was right back there, rubbing his fingers over his tight hole and then slowly, slowly, pushing just the tip of one finger inside Julian.
Or that was the plan, anyway. He wasn’t expecting the sudden movement of Julian’s hips, rolling up to meet his finger. All of a sudden, his finger was deep inside Julian, surrounded by a sheath of muscle, a tight, silky heat, which made him more desperate than ever.
“Fuck, Luca, please,” Julian cried, and he was already fucking himself, as though trying to get that digit deeper inside of him. Luca, amazed, let him have it, and when Julian got really eager, he gave him another finger to work with.
If there was any pain, Julian didn’t give the slightest sign of it. He worked his own body on Luca’s hand, and when Luca leaned in to wrap his mouth around Julian’s cock, the other man only moaned and redoubled his efforts, moving on him like a man possessed.
It wasn’t even possible for anything to be hotter than this. To be more perfect, more intense, more utterly consuming. Luca, with his mouth full of Julian’s cock, watched his new lover’s face as Julian writhed for him. And it wasn’t too long before it was not enough for either of them.
/> “Inside me,” Julian gasped, and Luca’s cock throbbed, urgently demanding that Luca comply. He needed to feel that tightness around him, he needed to spill his hot fluids inside him, to claim him, to belong to him, even if just for the night.
He almost forgot the condom. When he withdrew his fingers from that tight heat and Julian gave him a scorching look and demanded once more that Luca fuck him, he almost did just that. Hissing with irritation, he grabbed the condom and ripped it open, hating even the momentary distraction.
Even so, he took a second as he rolled the condom over his throbbing, pulsing dick, just to make sure that this was the right time. It was. The condom came lubricated, so that would help, and he’d prepared Julian’s ass as much as he could. So he leaned down and kissed the other man, and at the same time, he lined his cock up.
“Are you ready?” This was the last chance, Luca wanted to warn Julian, for him to back out. If he didn’t want this, even now, right at the brink, Luca would stop.
But he saw no signs of hesitation in the other man’s eyes. Instead, Julian reached around, gripping Luca’s ass, his short nails digging into the sensitive skin and stinging just a tiny bit.
“Now!” Julian rolled his hips up, and Luca took the admittedly rather broad hint. Just like that, he pushed, and he was inside him, sliding deep into the most intense, overwhelming surge of lust and desire and, yes, emotion, that he’d ever felt.
Leaning down, Luca kissed him, their tongues tangling as they started to move together. From the beginning, it was fast, desperate, and eager. Luca usually tended to go much slower, in all ways, but damn it, this was just flat-out irresistible.
“I’m going to come, Luca, more, harder,” Julian moaned, and that was good news for Luca because even with the sheath that he wore on his cock, he was going to finish far too soon. He cried out softly, seizing Julian’s lips in another kiss, his hand wrapping around that perfect cock and stroking him in time with his thrusts.
Just as Julian had promised, it wasn’t long at all, just a few more thrusts, until Luca felt the hot gush of the other man’s come on his hand. That was all he needed, and just like that, he came, too, hot pleasure crashing through him, dragging him down into the most intense orgasm he had ever felt.
Kissing Julian was the only thing that kept him grounded in reality, and he did it over and over again, shuddering as pleasure gripped both of them, and they clung and moaned and writhed together in ecstasy.
“Luca,” Julian whispered, and the sound of that voice, tiny and pleasured and somehow vulnerable, got to Luca in a way that even the sex hadn’t.
There was something here. Something deep and real, something that Luca, who was more romantic than he let on, had never felt before, but had always dreamed of. And now, he’d found it.
He just had to hope that Julian felt the same way.
Chapter Five
Julian
There should have been pain. All of the research that Julian had done had warned him to expect it to hurt the first time. Maybe it even had, but if so, Julian hadn’t been aware of it in the slightest.
Even now that it was over, and Julian lay covered in his own sweat and come, there was only the faintest bit of soreness. And it was nothing big. Honestly, Julian kind of liked it. It made the whole thing, everything that they’d done, that much more vivid and real, somehow.
It was hard to believe, in a way, that he’d just lost his virginity. It was something that he’d been holding on to for so long, but when it had happened, it had felt just as natural as breathing. And just as necessary.
“Julian,” Luca murmured, and Julian’s heart gave a little pulse in his chest. The way Luca said his name, it was like Julian actually mattered to him. That wasn’t the sort of thing that Julian was used to, and, in all honesty, he wasn’t entirely sure what to do with that.
“Hey,” Julian whispered, his voice quieter than usual. But he kept his arms wrapped around Luca, clinging to him even as the other man tried to roll off of him, to pull out of him. He didn’t want to lose that connection.
“I’m going to squish you,” Luca warned, laughing a bit, but Julian shook his head. He felt complete, in a way that he hadn’t even known that he wanted. In a way that he hadn’t even known was possible.
“It’s okay. Don’t move,” Julian demanded, but when Luca pulled away, he let him go.
“Sorry, I have to deal with the condom,” Luca said, and Julian sighed, but reluctantly accepted that as necessary. So he sat and watched him do it, admiring his grace and beauty, even as he did the smallest things.
The moment that the simple chore was done, though, Luca rolled back into bed and wrapped his arms around Julian. Feeling strangely small and vulnerable, Julian outright crawled on top of him, holding onto his warmth and solidity, burrowing his face into his chest.
There was silence between them for a moment, and Julian felt no desire to break it. Not at first. He’d seen, far too often, how words could ruin everything. Better to watch and enjoy this, rather than babbling the idiotic things that he was feeling and perhaps driving Luca right away from him.
“Tell me that it wasn’t just me …” Luca’s voice trailed off, and Julian raised his head to look into the other man’s face. What Julian felt deep in the very core of him, Luca showed on his face. Hope, fear, worry, it was all there, and Julian couldn’t help but admire someone who was so willing to be open like that.
“No,” Julian whispered, though his voice threatened to stick in his throat. That part of him that urged him to be cautious was still inside himself. Luca managed to muffle it a fair bit, but the habits of a lifetime wouldn’t go away in the course of a few hours.
“No,” Julian repeated, a bit bolder. It really was something, how Luca had made him as brave as he was feeling. “No, it wasn’t just you.”
The sigh that Luca let out then was clearly one of relief. He smiled, and it wasn’t that Luca’s smile lit up the room, because it was so much more than that. Luca’s smile lit up Julian’s heart, and it was only then that he realized how cold and lonely it had been.
“Good. Sometimes I worry that I feel too much,” Luca said, and Julian smiled a little. He didn’t know how that felt, not exactly. He knew how the feeling part went, but the part where he shared those feelings with others as openly as Luca seemed to? That part, he didn’t get.
“Not me. I worry that I don’t feel enough,” Julian said, and then winced. God, that made him sound like some sort of sociopath or something, and it wasn’t even true. “I’m sorry. That’s not quite what I meant. No wonder I can’t write a song myself when I’m so bad with words.”
“You want to write your own songs?” Luca asked, and Julian fought back a little wince. It wasn’t the first time someone had said those words to him, of course. Hell, it probably wasn’t even the hundredth.
“Yes,” Julian said, and then shook his head. “Look, I know it’s stupid. I’ve never even been able to finish a song, and it’s probably impossible. My parents seemed to think so …”
Why was he talking so much? He never spoke about his parents. He definitely didn’t speak about his music, not anymore. He’d learned better, from the derision that he’d gotten for mentioning it in the past.
“No, I think that might be the coolest thing I’ve ever heard,” Luca said, and Julian, who was acutely ready to hear derision in his voice, heard none. Luca seemed to be genuine, and Julian had already noticed that Luca wasn’t the most adept at hiding his thoughts.
That comment made Julian smile. No, not smile. That was too tame a word for it. He grinned, feeling like he’d been lit from within with a warm, comforting, approving flame.
“I mean, it’s better than what I’m doing. There’s nothing creative about it.” Luca sighed, and a shadow crossed his lovely face, a shadow that Julian felt like he would do anything to be able to send away. “I’m a writer, I guess, but I basically just write what I’m told to write.”
Julian smiled a little bit. It seeme
d like he did have something in common with Luca after all.
“And I only sing what I’m told to sing,” he said thoughtfully. “What do you want to write?”
Luca shrugged, looking fairly self-conscious.
“I don’t know. Something that matters,” he said simply. “Nothing I’m writing right now makes any major difference. It’s just something to fill up pages, you know?”
Julian frowned a little, thinking that over. That was sad, he decided, but was it any more sad than he was? Working at a crappy little jazz nightclub because he was too scared to commit his own words to the paper?
“You should do it,” Luca continued, after a brief silence. This was something that Julian was really coming to like about Luca, that he broke the silence. It wasn’t something that Julian was always so great at doing himself. “You should write your own song, and sing it. With a voice like yours, I bet you could really be something. Maybe you wouldn’t have to work at that bar if you don’t want to.”
Not work at the bar. Have his words, his own words, sang in front of a crowd of people who were actually listening, not just looking for a place to get drunk. Wouldn’t that be a special kind of heaven if he could do that?
“Well, what about you?” Julian looked at Luca, fear and hope warring inside him, making him feel both thrilled and nervous at the exact same time. It was a feeling that he had no idea how to deal with, one that made him slightly nauseous but also felt so good, though that shouldn’t be possible.
“What do you mean?” Luca asked, and Julian frowned a little, trying to think of the best way to put this.
“I mean, you’re doing something that you don’t really want to be doing, too.” Julian watched as Luca nodded, and then continued. “I would try to write a song of my own if you try to find something better for yourself, too.”
The offer wasn’t something that he planned out, for once. It was just the logical next step, to him. Maybe he and Luca could help each other break out of the rut. Or maybe Luca would refuse the offer, and then Julian would be under no obligation to do as he’d said.
