I sucked in a breath through my teeth and counted to ten. I would not come in my jeans like a fucking teenager. I’d had sex before. I could last, damn it. I would not come. No, no, no. No coming.
I put one hand on her hip, keeping her steady because the friction was getting to me, and then I slid the other into her hair. I tugged slightly, testing, and her pupils widened as she gasped.
“You like?” I asked tentatively. I liked things a little rougher despite what some may think about me, but I would be gentle with her. I would be anything Nessa wanted and needed me to be.
“I do,” she said. Once again, I nearly came.
I tugged again, this time a little harder, and her mouth parted in a sigh. Since her head was already dropped back, I pressed a kiss to her throat before nibbling down to her shoulder, licking and biting along the way. She groaned, rocking her hips again. I tugged on her hair harder because I knew she liked it—I saw it in her face, heard it in how she moaned.
I’d give her what she wanted and take what I needed. It would all be mutually beneficial because that’s what I got off on. I liked it hard and rough, but I knew I’d like it however she wanted.
The fact that she liked me tugging on her hair a bit? Fucking perfect.
Testing, I took one of her wrists and pulled it behind her back. It brought her breasts closer to my face, and I rubbed my cheek against one of the soft mounds over her shirt. She groaned, pushing closer to my face, and since they were right there, I nuzzled both, biting through the fabric a bit. She moaned louder, and I used my hand, already holding one wrist, to grasp the other. I pinned her arms behind her, bringing her chest even closer. She looked at me.
“Good?” I asked, needing consent.
“Yes,” she said, her breath getting choppy. I kept both arms pinned behind her with one hand as I slowly rubbed my other finger along her collarbone and down into the deep V of her shirt. She had a tank on underneath, so I slowly brushed my finger across the swell of her breasts under her tank. Her mouth parted, and she began breathing in soft pants, squeezing her thighs against my hips. I kept my gaze on her as I slowly tugged her shirt down, taking her tank and her bra with it. She blinked at me before leaning down to kiss me. I kissed her harder than before, not bruising but with a little more need. She groaned again. I tugged her shirt down farther, pinning her arms in place a bit more as I slowly revealed her breasts. “Miles,” she panted more.
“Just tell me when to stop.”
“I can’t,” she whispered. “I won’t.”
I slowly brushed my knuckle across her nipple, watching it pebble into a hard point against my skin. I leaned down, breathed cool air over it, and it puckered beautifully. She was so pink, so beautiful. I leaned down and sucked a taut bud into my mouth, a little harder than I might have meant. She moaned again, throwing her head back as she pressed into my face. I still had her hands pinned behind her back. She was at my mercy, so I sucked and bit her nipple until she was squirming on my lap, ready to come.
I licked and sucked, and then I let go, pulling back so I could kiss her mouth.
“Miles, I need to…don’t stop.”
“I won’t, not until you ask nicely.” I kissed her again before I let go of her hands to run both of mine through her hair and around her body. She wrapped her arms around my neck, pressing her body into me even though she was only partially clothed. She held onto me and ground down on my dick. I let her, knowing I would come if we weren’t careful. I gripped the back of her neck, keeping her steady as I kissed her, devoured her mouth with mine. I positioned her back against the couch and hovered over her, thrusting slightly against her pussy, even though we were both clothed on our lower halves. The friction was almost too much. She groaned again, so I reached between us and slowly undid the button of her pants.
“Good?” I asked.
“Please, just touch me already.”
I grinned and then slid my hand into her panties, swiping my finger over her clit. She was wet, hot. And with that one swipe, she fell over the edge. A single touch of her beautiful pussy, and she came on my hand. I cupped her, sending her further into her orgasm as I delved my fingers between her wet and swollen folds.
She groaned, her body shaking. I leaned down and sucked her nipple into my mouth, and she moaned my name. As she looked at me, coming down off her high, I pulled my hand out of her panties. Meeting her gaze, I licked her wetness off my fingers. She covered her face with her hands, groaning once more, and I grinned.
“So fucking sweet,” I said before taking off my glasses so I wouldn’t break them and leaning over her.
I didn’t go any farther, I knew we weren’t ready for that, but I had taken the edge off for her. I’d wait for mine. She held onto me, kissed me again, and then the door opened behind us.
“Hey, did I leave my...?” Tanner’s voice trailed off before he smiled widely. “Cool. You and Nessa? It’s about time. Sorry for walking in.”
Nessa let out a scream and covered herself, even as I blocked Tanner’s view of her. He had likely only seen part of her face, but I knew the moment was broken. My dick was still hard, but it wouldn’t get touched anytime soon.
“Tanner, get the fuck out.”
“Aw, look at you, getting all growly. I’m sorry. Seriously. Sorry.” He picked up his book from the table near him and closed the door.
“I could have sworn I locked that,” I said, wincing as I leaned down and kissed Nessa’s fingers since they were covering her face.
“Did he see anything?” she squeaked.
“No, I’m covering you. You’re fine. Let’s get you dressed, though.”
“I think I’m sort of already dressed. I have no idea how you got my boob out of my shirt like that.”
“I’d say practice, but we both know that’s not the case.” I kissed Nessa again, then helped her dress, willing my dick to calm down.
“So...” she whispered.
“I am sorry about that.”
“About making me come? About Tanner? Or what?”
“I’m never going to be sorry about making you come.” I couldn’t wait to do it again.
“I can’t believe I went off that quickly.”
“It means I’m going to have to see how long I can tease you next time.”
“Oh,” she said, her cheeks reddening. “I guess you like the whole tying people up thing? Or just binding? Or like it hard and rough? I can’t believe I’m saying this.”
I grinned, despite the serious questions. “Sometimes. I don’t know, I like it a little rougher, I suppose. But, honestly, with you? I want anything. Which makes me sound like a cad, but here I am.”
“I don’t know what I want, Miles. I liked what we did. I’m just not ready for anything more right now.”
I nodded, feeling the same, honestly. I leaned down and gripped her hand, pulling her palm to my lips. I kissed her gently, and her eyes darkened.
“You and me? We can do dinner. We can study. We can do what we just did, and however rough you’d like it,” I teased, and she swallowed hard.
“I guess we can say we’re dating, just not as serious as the others because that’s serious. And I’m not ready for that.”
I nodded. “Completely understand.”
She let out a breath. “We were going to watch a movie.” I looked at my dick, and she groaned. “Or maybe I could help take care of that.”
I shook my head. “No, we’re going to will that little erection of mine away.”
“Miles, I don’t think there’s anything little about that,” she teased.
And that was the Nessa I knew and liked a lot. The one I’d had a crush on.
“Come here. Cuddle with me, woman.”
“Aw, look at you, being all forceful.”
I pinched her hip, and she squeaked. “Be careful. That won’t be the only thing I pinch.”
“Oh, dear God,” she said, her eyes darkening more.
“Yes, beware of what you just unleashed.”
“Should I make a joke about releasing the Kraken?”
“We already said we weren’t going to talk about my dick tonight,” I said deadpan, and she snorted. I pulled her onto my lap, kissed her again, and did my best to find a movie, trying not to think about how close she was to my dick.
Chapter 11
Miles
* * *
It was amazing how quickly life could change when you weren’t ready for it. I lay on the bed, Nessa’s knees pressed tightly against my hips, and groaned as she nibbled on my lip.
“This is the best study break ever,” she said, grinning, and I leaned back, my hands cradling my head. While I knew I would have rather had them on Nessa, I knew we were both doing our best not to move too quickly. After all, we had said that this wouldn’t be forever and that we wanted to maintain our friendship. Sex would change things. That meant the more I touched her, the harder it would be—in every meaning of that phrase.
She rubbed herself against me, and I sucked in a breath, closing my eyes. “You better stop doing that,” I said.
She stiffened, a single brow raised. “If I keep going, would it be too much or not enough?”
I rolled my eyes before I turned us both over.
She let out a squeal. “Hey.” Now, we were lying side by side, her leg draped over mine as I brushed her hair away from her face. I did my best not to think about what it meant. We were friends, and while I knew she wasn’t using me to get over Pacey or even to get over the fear of what had happened with Xander, this still didn’t feel real.
One minute, I was pining and pretending that I was okay. The next, she was in my arms, and I wasn’t quite sure how that had happened. I needed to stop thinking so hard.
I leaned forward, kissed her on the forehead, and then sat up, draping my arms over my knees as I let out a deep breath.
“Too much, then?” she asked before sitting up next to me. She pressed her leg to mine, but she didn’t touch me other than that. It was getting harder to be around her without wanting more. And I didn’t mean sex. Sex would be easy between us. I knew that much and figured we would find that out shortly. No, it was everything else that came from it.
Nessa was still worried about school, and we only had a few more days to figure out her plan with that. Then there was grad school for both of us and everything else surrounding those significant decisions. A relationship would get in the way, and I knew that. She knew that. We had been very clear about that. And yet, here we were, our books next to us as we rolled around on my bed, making out and pretending the world wasn’t on fire.
“I think we should probably get back to studying.”
“We’re almost done with my stats homework.” She nudged me with her shoulder.
I looked over at her, my lips quirking into a grin. “You’re getting better at it.”
“I feel like I need to help you study or something. But you’ve already finished with your English courses, and you got As in those.”
I shrugged, my cheeks heating. “I like school. Sorry.”
“I was always a decent B and C student in high school. Often, I got As if things worked out right, but it just wasn’t my thing. English, though? That was always my jam. Reading and writing and anything having to do with that sort of creativity and deep introspection. That was for me. The math and science part? I mean, I tried, but it just didn’t hit me.”
“We’re not supposed to be good at everything we do.”
“So says the guy with the 4.0 GPA in his final year of college.”
I swallowed hard. “Some people are just good at school. Other people are good at everything else.”
“I’m not good at everything else, either. We both know that.”
I frowned. “You shouldn’t say that.”
“It’s the truth. A lot of our friends already know who they want to be and what they want to do with the rest of their lives. I’m still figuring it out.”
“Dillon has had how many career changes? And he’s our age.”
“He found something he likes.”
“He had to make changes to make that happen, though. I may know what I want to do in terms of a career, but everything else? I pretty much fail at it all.”
She leaned into me again. “Sitting here with you, you don’t seem like much of a failure.”
If only she knew the mistakes I had made.
I leaned forward, pushing those thoughts from my mind as I brushed her hair from her face. “Let’s get some work done and then eat. I know you have a job to do. I have a group project that I need to have a meeting on later, too. I’m so excited.”
“That’s the one thing I like these days. Most of my projects aren’t group-related.”
“You would think mine wouldn’t be, either. Yet, here I am.” I shrugged.
“Let’s get to this whole school thing. Yay, statistics.” She laughed, and I kissed her again. There was a scuffling noise outside the room, and I stiffened.
“Wait there, let me make sure he’s—” Tanner said through my door. I looked up quickly as my parents walked directly into my bedroom, not bothering to knock or to listen to Tanner. Instead, they simply made themselves at home.
I sighed as Nessa squeaked and looked down at herself, making sure she was fully clothed. She was, but any more time with her on my bed, that probably wouldn’t have been the case.
My parents met my gaze and then looked over at Nessa before my dad raised his brows, and my mother narrowed her eyes.
“Mom, Dad. What are you doing here?”
Tanner stood behind them, his hands outstretched as he winced.
I met his gaze and shook my head. It wasn’t his fault that my parents had walked past him and into the room. Probably the house. They were good at that. And since they had helped me to pay for my school initially, I couldn’t resent them for thinking that they owned part of me. At least, that’s what I told myself. Fuck it. I did begrudge them. I’d dealt with my mistakes and paid the price—something I had to keep telling myself.
My parents just looked between Nessa and me, and I sighed before I scooted off the bed and held up my hand. Nessa looked at it, gave me a quick shake of her head, and practically scrambled off the other side of the mattress.
“Mom, Dad, this is Nessa.”
“Hi there,” Nessa said as she rubbed her palms on her thighs. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“I think we’ve seen you around before, right?” my mom asked, her voice not necessarily cool but also not welcoming. I wasn’t sure when she had ever been fully accepting of anyone I hung out with. It definitely hadn’t been since the accident. She wanted us all in little boxes, safe and tucked away where nobody could hurt us. That just wasn’t going to happen.
“Uh, maybe,” Nessa began. She gave me a pleading look, and I nodded tightly before holding out my hand. She looked at it again before I leaned forward and took hers, not bothering to wait for her to slide her palm into mine. She was nervous. Hell, so was I. But I wasn’t going to let my parents make her feel small. I didn’t know what they were here for, but I wouldn’t let Nessa get hurt because of their attitudes.
“Anyway, we were just studying,” I said. “I think you might’ve met Nessa before when you came by one night as we were all eating dinner.”
“Studying...” Mom began.
Dad cleared his throat. “I remember now—the girls from the other house. Aren’t a couple of you dating some of the roommates?” he asked, looking between us.
“It seems like it,” I said. “We’re all good friends.” I squeezed Nessa’s hand and gave her a look, and she relaxed slightly. Good. At least one of us could relax somewhat because I was about to scream.
“So, what’s going on?” I asked. “Is there a reason you guys decided to barge into my room like this?”
“We’re your parents. It’s not called barging when we do it.” Mom rolled her shoulders back.
“Okay. Nessa? Why don’t you go downstairs and give us a minute?
Do you mind?”
“If you’re sure,” she whispered.
I wanted to lean down and kiss her, to rest my lips against hers until she knew everything would be okay. But she was embarrassed enough. I nodded and squeezed her hand, and she quickly walked out, leaving her stuff behind. Even her purse was still in my room, so I knew she wouldn’t escape. That was good because I had a feeling I had a lot to explain.
“Seriously?” I asked, sighing. “You can’t just barge in on me like that. I’m not a kid anymore, and this is not your home.”
“You’re still our child,” Mom said. “And, seriously, you’re going to call that studying? Making out with a girl in your room?”
“Mom. I’m not sixteen. I’m not even a teenager anymore. I’ll be twenty-two soon. I’m an adult, and I’m moving to a different state. I’ll be looking into the housing market and deciding what my future looks like—things I need to do as an adult. If I want to have a woman in my room, I will. I like Nessa. She’s sweet—a good person. You guys embarrassed her. Hell, you embarrassed me.”
“Watch your language, son,” Dad said as he shook his head.
“It’s my house. And that’s not the point.”
“A house we help pay for.”
I scoffed. “No, you don’t. You helped me the first two years, and I will forever be grateful that you assisted me with school. I would not be where I am without you. But I’ve been paying for this year. I pay for this house. I’m taking more credit hours than ever to finish on time with my majors. I’m doing this, Mom and Dad. I love you both, but you can’t just come in whenever you want. I need privacy. I have a life. And I should be able to live it.” With those last words, I knew I had said the wrong thing. My mom’s face blanched, and I held back a curse. “Mom,” I began.
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