Zoe took the phone and replaced it in its cradle. “What’s happened to Aunt Britt?” she asked.
“I don’t know,” he said. “There was some kind of a struggle. I’m afraid she may be hurt. They took her somewhere up on the mountain. Probably in her car and left it up there. That’s what I figure. Then they must have come back cross-country on those skis.”
“Why Dad?” Zoe cried. “Why would they want to hurt Aunt Britt?”
“I don’t know why. There’s a lot I don’t know right now. Something bad has happened in that household. We’ll worry about that later. Right now, we just have to find her.”
“You mean the police?”
“The police are gonna start a search. The chief is getting some people together. We’ll take the snowmobiles out. I think Mr. Carmichael will be willing to tell the police exactly where to look. To save time. To save himself,” he added.
“I wish we could find her,” said Zoe wistfully.
Alec did not respond.
“How come you said all those things about Aunt Britt, Dad?” she asked. “I believed you in there.”
“You were supposed to,” he said. “I was making a sale. I needed your help.”
“I don’t get it. What were you selling?”
“I was selling Mrs. Carmichael on the idea that I didn’t care what happened to Aunt Britt. She had to believe that, so she would let you go.”
“I almost ruined it,” she said.
“Oh no,” he said, shaking his head. “You did exactly the right thing. I knew I could count on you.”
Zoe frowned, but she felt a little thrill of pride at his confidence in her. “Where are we going now?” she asked.
“To the dealership,” he said. “To get a machine.”
“Is Aunt Britt gonna die?” Zoe asked.
“No,” he said.
• • •
Sprawled face down in the snow, the front of her body unaccountably warm, Britt was watching her mother. Jean Andersen was standing at the edge of the ravine where Vicki’s car had tumbled. And she was holding something in her arms. Britt strained to see what it was. It was difficult to tell in the moonlight. Jean was wearing the same clothes she wore in the video, and Britt was worried about her, being out here without a coat on. She could die of the cold. She tried to call out to warn her, but her mother ignored her. She seemed oblivious to the cold. She held the bundle in her arms and gazed over the edge of the ravine, straining her neck to look.
Don’t get so close to that, Britt wanted to say. If you fall in there, you’ll disappear and I’ll never see you again. As if she had heard Britt’s voice, Jean turned around and looked at her. Her eyes were invisible. Britt could only see the glitter of her glasses. After a moment, Jean looked down at the bundle in her arms again, and Britt imagined that her gaze was tender. And then Britt heard it. It was a faint, pitiful whine, that sounded like a feeble protest. Britt’s heart leaped. My God, it’s a child in there. Mother, she tried to call out. There’s a child in that bundle. Listen!
The whine continued, high-pitched and growing louder. Jean began to seem agitated by it. She walked back and forth across the ridge, shaking the bundle impatiently. Nothing she did was any use. The child continued to cry, its wails growing louder. Britt saw a stillness come over her mother and she knew that her mother was about to do something. Something wrong. No, Britt called out to her. Don’t do it. But it was no use. Her mother could not even hear her now. With one last look at the child inside, she tossed the bundle over the edge of the ravine and watched it fall.
“No!” Britt shouted, and suddenly she was awake, and in the real world, her face in the snow, her body splayed out, her head pounding. Oh my God, she thought. How long have I been here? And then she realized that loud, wailing sound from the child in her hallucination was still sounding in her ears. She dragged herself up to her knees, and saw something bright, glowing in the trees and getting closer with every moment. And, as she looked, she could see other lights flashing on the slope of the hill, winking as they wove in and out of the trees. Here I am, she thought. She licked her lips and tried to find her voice.
One light was nearer than all the others. It was zigzagging through the trees, and the sound was getting louder now. Coming toward her. She didn’t know what it was, but it was a roaring engine and it was nearby. Like someone stranded on a desert island, she used all the strength she had left to force herself up to her feet and begin to wave her arms.
“Help me,” she cried, although she feared she could not be heard over the sound of the engine. But she could be seen. The lamp turned and barreled toward her, accompanied by a deafening roar. She was about to leap, afraid to be in its path, when the snowmobile veered around, sending up a shower of snow, and came to a halt. The rider cut off the engine and the sound dimmed, but did not die. There were other, similar engines, their muffled roars still audible on the wooded slope.
Thank God, she thought. Overcome by relief, Britt swayed, and sank down again onto her knees. She looked toward the snowmobile, blinked and thought fearfully that she might still be hallucinating. A man in a dark jacket and a helmeted child in a pink parka were climbing off the vehicle, coming toward her. The girl was running.
“Here! Up here!” Alec turned and called out, waving a flashlight which he snapped on and off in a signal through the trees. “She’s up here. Hurry. We found her.”
“Aunt Britt,” cried Zoe, flopping down onto the snow beside her. Zoe gazed gently at her aunt, and put out a tentative hand to touch Britt’s icy cheek. “You’re alive. Where’s your coat? And your shoes?”
Britt felt Zoe’s touch, and knew it was no fantasy, no delusion. You’re here, Britt thought. I’m alive.
Chapter Forty-Seven
You’ve got mail! Britt opened the e-mails on her computer and checked the latest to arrive. It was addressed to her, via the station.
Dear Miss Andersen,
I recently ran into Donovan Smith at an affiliates meeting, and learned from him that you are no longer in his employ. I had a chance to watch his show on a number of occasions while I was in Boston, and I very much admired the work you did when you were producing for him. When I heard this, I checked up on you and found out about the award you received for your coverage of the Carmichael arson and murder investigation and trial up there in Vermont. While Mrs. Carmichael is clearly a very disturbed woman, and your own sister was one of the victims of her madness, you were admirably evenhanded in your reporting. I thought you placed a much-needed focus on the problems involved in private adoptions. A job well done.
As you know, the Denver market is large, and getting larger all the time. And all our research tells us that our show is likely to go national in a very short time. I would very much like to get together and talk to you about a future for you at our show. I plan to be in your area in the next few weeks. Any possibility we could meet to talk?
Britt recognized the name of the Denver talk show host. She was a woman whom Britt admired. It probably would be fun to work for her, Britt thought.
“Britt,” said Jeff Herrick. “We done?”
“Done,” said Britt.
“All right then. I’m going to go. You’ve got my pager if you need me.”
Britt logged off her computer, checked her tapes for tonight’s newscast to make sure everything was in order, and then gathered up her things to leave. As she passed through the small, quiet WGLC newsroom, everyone she met stopped to wish her a pleasant evening. She stepped outside and immediately was greeted with the riot of color that was the fall foliage in Vermont. The sunny sky was cobalt, and the mountain air was almost dizzying in its clarity. After nearly a year in Coleville, Britt had come to love the beauty of this place with its distinct, almost excessive grandeur of mountains and trees and sky. She had never realized how much she could enjoy living in a place so dominated by nature.
The air in Denver is probably pretty good, too, she mused, as she got into her car. That’s the Rocki
es out there. The pay would probably be great, and it was undeniably flattering to be sought out like that. The pressure would be greater, and the hours longer. She wouldn’t be able to knock off early to attend junior high school hockey games. Of course, she wouldn’t need to, out in Denver. Britt drove to the playing field behind the junior high school, parked the car, and walked around the bleachers.
Alec was already in place, and he caught sight of her as soon as she rounded the bleachers. “Britt!”
She looked up and waved. He patted the seat beside him and she smiled, and began the climb. She was wearing a tailored jacket on top, to look businesslike for the camera, but jeans on the bottom, and suede, tread-soled boots. Climbing was easy in that outfit. She arrived at Alec’s row and sat down beside him.
“Did I miss anything?” she said.
He shook his head. “Coach is just giving them the last-minute instructions. There she is.”
Britt peered out over the athletic field and saw Zoe, hair pulled back in a French braid, dressed in her field hockey uniform, warming up on the sidelines. She craned her neck and caught Zoe’s eye. Zoe saw her aunt and broke into a smile. She waved. Zoe had decided to join the team once she got to junior high, and she was good enough to immediately start playing in games.
Britt settled back on the wooden bleacher and looked around. “Pretty good crowd today,” she said.
“Well, Rutland is a pretty ferocious rival,” said Alec. “Here, want some?”
He held out a bag of yogurt-covered pretzels and Britt raised her eyebrows. “My favorite! How did you know?” She took a pretzel and had a bite.
“How did I know?” he said, and shook his head.
“How’s your day been?” she asked.
“Good,” he said. “Gearing up for the season. By the way, I got a line on a horse that might do from one of my customers today.”
“Wow,” said Britt. “Did you tell her?”
“Not yet. We just moved into the new house. I need a minute to breathe.”
“Yeah,” she agreed. “But she’ll be tickled.”
“I thought maybe we’d drive over and take a look at it anyway. Saturday. How’s that sound?”
“Good,” she said. “Sounds like fun.”
They sat in companionable silence for a few minutes, enjoying the air, and the fading light of the brilliant day. Finally, Britt took a deep breath. “I got a line on something today myself.”
“Oh?” he said. “What’s that?”
Britt looked out at the field. The game had begun and Zoe was in the thick of it. “Alec, look,” she said.
“I see,” he said. “So what was this line on…?” She heard a diffident note in his voice.
“A job offer, actually. For a talk show host out in Denver. She’s very good. I’ve seen her work. They’re thinking of taking the show national and she wants to talk to me about getting on board with it.”
Alec nodded, his gaze riveted to Zoe. “Are you going to talk to her?”
Britt hesitated. Am I going to talk to her? she wondered. Should I consider it?
Britt looked at him. The lines in his craggy face were even deeper than they had been when she first met him. They had all been through a lot this past year. Alec and Zoe had babied her while she recovered from frostbite and head injuries, and urged her to stay on in Vermont, where they could keep an eye on her. Dean Webster had recovered also, but was fired by WGLC. The television station had been glad to hire someone with Britt’s experience to replace him. Together Alec, Britt and Zoe had gone through the ordeal of the Carmichaels’ trial and conviction. Caroline was sent away for life. Kevin, who testified against his wife, got only four years. The baby was adopted by another family.
They’d also weathered holidays and birthdays, Zoe’s first without her mother. Alec’s first, in many years, without his wife. It had seemed perfectly normal for Britt to stay Important even. They rented adjoining houses, while Alec hired a contractor and rebuilt, consulting with Britt about many of his decisions. Their lives had fallen into a comfortable routine of togetherness. Zoe, not long ago, after a trip to the county fair, had declared herself happy. Alec and Britt had looked at each other with full hearts, recognizing a milestone.
Britt gazed out at the field. Zoe had assisted in a goal, and was jumping up and down with glee. Britt smiled broadly at the sight of her and gave her a thumbs up. Zoe’s smile was radiant in the fading light of the autumn afternoon.
It had just seemed necessary to be here at first. To huddle together in a family circle, like covered wagons, in the aftermath of Greta’s death and all the horror they had endured. But was it necessary anymore? Was she necessary anymore? “I don’t know,” she said.
Alec frowned. “Are you missing the excitement? The challenge?” he asked.
“I haven’t had time to miss it,” she said honestly. “There’s been so much…This job has been perfect, because it was all I could manage to do with everything else that was going on.”
“Right,” he said.
“But things are settling down now,” she said. “We’re past the worst of it. You two are in the new house. Putting everything behind you. Zoe’s adjusting to life without her mother. Luckily, she has a wonderful father. So, I guess you two can manage without me now,” she said, trying to sound airy.
“We’re kind of like a job you’ve finished doing…“he said with a shade of bitterness in his voice.
“No,” said Britt, recoiling at the sound of it. “That’s not true. I just meant…”
“Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean that. Look, if you want to leave, I don’t blame you. Life here probably seems pretty dull to you. You could go anywhere. Do something glamorous. Not spend Saturdays assessing second-rate horseflesh with your…with us,” he said.
“Oh, Alec, come on,” she protested. “You know I look forward to our outings.” She said it in a teasing way, but she had known, for a long time now, that the time she spent with them, with him, was the highlight of her week. The minute he had suggested that she join them on the trip to look over the horse, she had felt her heart lift. She would have been hurt and disappointed if they had decided to go without her. She did look forward to being with them, no matter how mundane the errand. That was the truth of it. “Maybe you two are getting tired of having me tag along everywhere. You shouldn’t have to feel obligated to include me.”
“Obligated?” he said incredulously.
“I mean it. We were kind of… thrown together. But you two have your own lives. Maybe it’s time I moved on.”
He held up a hand to silence her. “That’s not the way it is,” he said.
Britt remained quiet. What was she supposed to say, after all?
“Look, Britt. I guess I’ve been dreading this for a while. Knowing it might come up. And I understand why you would want to go. I do. But I have to tell you… we don’t want you to go. We want you to stay here…with us. Zoe will always need you…”
“And she’ll always have me,” said Britt, faintly disappointed in his response.
There was a silence between them for a minute. They both looked at the field, but neither one of them knew what plays were being made. Finally, Alec cleared his throat.
“I need you,” he said. “And I don’t mean thousands of miles away. I need you here. I…rely on you now.”
“Well, I’ve tried to help out,” she said. “But you don’t need me for that. You have the best instincts in the world. I know Zoe’s coming into those difficult, teenage years, and you think she needs a woman’s touch, but really, you’ll know what to do. I’ve seen you in action. You’re a whiz at this parenting thing.”
“That’s not it,” he said.
“Look, Alec, I think this was good for all of us. This year together. We both know that Zoe needed all the attention and the…the love that we could give her. But, maybe it’s time for you and I to think about… our own lives. You know.”
“Right,” he said. “We’re holding you back.�
��
“I don’t mean that,” she said. “It’s just…well, suppose you meet someone, it’s kind of like… I don’t know. I’m in the way. I’m always around. Zoe’s attached to me. It just makes everything more difficult.”
Alec shook his head and sighed.
“What?” Britt asked.
“Don’t lay this on me,” he said. “I’m not the one who wants to leave town.”
“I’m not laying anything on you,” she protested. “I’m trying to think of what’s best… for everybody. Look, this is an opportunity for me, and, well, the longer I stay here the harder it’s going to be for me to go.”
“Why?” he said.
“Why?” She felt suddenly flustered. “I don’t know why. Because, I’ll get settled, because it’ll be difficult to say good-bye…”
“Because you’re happy?” he said.
“I like it here,” she said defensively. “Vermont is beautiful…”
“Screw Vermont,” he said impatiently. “Look, Britt. Let’s stop playing games about this.”
“I’m not playing games,” she said indignantly.
He scowled, and shook his head. He hesitated, and then, he looked as if he had made up his mind. “I don’t mean you,” he said. “I’m talking about myself. Look, I know this isn’t the time or place. And I don’t want to embarrass you. Or myself.” He cleared his throat. “But if you are really thinking of going, then this can’t wait. I can’t wait until it’s too late. I remember what you said at Greta’s funeral. Don’t wait until it’s too late to tell the people you love how you feel.”
He turned to look at her, and she blushed at the intensity she saw in his gray eyes, even in the gathering twilight. “You said that,” he reminded her. “Do you remember?”
Britt felt her heart beating in her throat. “I remember,” she whispered.
“So, this is clumsy and stupid…We’re sitting here eating pretzels and getting splinters in our butts…”
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