What didn’t feel right was my tummy. I felt a gurgle first and looked around, hoping no one had noticed. Not a chance, they were too busy shouting about how Penny should stay at the University of Texas.
“Actually Ian is thinking of opening a lab here in Austin. That’s why he was visiting Ray, Israel Caine. They’re friends and Ray had told him about our cheap land here, compared to L.A. anyway. Ian’s other interest is real estate and he knows a good deal when he sees it. I think there’s a good chance Penny could stay here in Austin and never go to California at all.” I barely got this out before my stomach rumbled again. I rattled my fork against my empty plate to try to cover the noise.
Not necessary. Penny jumped in with another reason why she was done with the grant program here and the shouting started again. I tuned out. I’d finished my second piece of chocolate cake but that last bite had pushed me past full to miserable. Now, when I looked down, I noticed a bulge under my skirt. Swollen stomach? Wait a minute. This wasn’t a tiny bulge. It was like everything I’d just eaten had decided to stage a sit-in. Like back in the hippie era.
I glanced around, glad Penny was the one in the hot seat, then pulled down my sweater. The stupid thing slid right back up again. That did it. I had to get out of here. But, when I struggled to my feet, I heard a pop.
“Glory, I think you just lost a button.” Jenny giggled. “Was that off your skirt?” She rolled her eyes. “Careful, Penny. If you two eat like this all the time, you’ll soon be giving the blimp a run for its money.”
“Jennifer Louise!” Melissa gave Jenny a stern look. “Pay no attention to her, Glory. I just love to see someone appreciate food.”
“Oh, I appreciated it all right.” I heard my stomach rumble again. “Excuse me.” I headed to the bathroom, where I shut the door and sat on the lid of the closed toilet. What was going on? My stomach was growing, and the noises! I heard a knock on the door.
“Glory? You all right?” It was Penny.
“Get in here.” I unlocked the door and dragged her inside. “How are you feeling? Did you take Ian’s potion?”
“Of course I did. I ate, didn’t I?” She stared at my stomach. “It’s moving. I need to get my notebook. Damn, I wish I had a stethoscope. I can hear the strange sounds from here.” She leaned down like she wanted to press her ear to my stomach. “Gurgles and—whoa!—I think it’s calling for help.”
“Not funny.” I popped her on the arm. “I’m making a run to my room. Can you make my excuses to your folks? Keep your fangs out of sight?”
“Sure, that’s no problem.” She pressed her hands to her own stomach, which had no unusual bulges. “And my tummy is quiet. Nothing going on there.” She stretched out her hand. “Seriously. Are you in pain? Maybe I should get Ian over here.”
I felt a lightning bolt shoot through my midriff. Power of suggestion?
“Oh, ow! Thanks a heap. Didn’t hurt till you mentioned it. I’ll call Ray, he can send Ian over. Just get rid of your parents. Please?” I burped what sounded like the mating call of a lonely foghorn, then clapped my hand over my mouth.
“Another symptom. I ate as much as you did. I wonder why nothing’s hit me.” Penny’s eyes gleamed and I had a feeling she was going straight for her notebook when she left me. “Go lie down. It’s not unusual for people to have digestive issues the first time they eat Mom’s food. Maybe it’s nothing to do with Ian’s stuff.” She grinned, then clapped her hand over her mouth.
“You couldn’t have warned me?” I managed to gasp. “We could have saved that potion for steak at a fabulous restaurant, you know.” I moaned when another pain hit.
“You’re right. But, if I get this job, you can have more of the formula, all you want.” Penny wasn’t smiling now. “I know I should have admitted that Mom’s not the greatest cook in the world. That’s why I told her we were on a diet. Tried to keep her from bringing dinner in the first place, nothing to do with the vampire thing at all. Honestly, it would have been easier chewing a rubber band than that pot roast.” She patted my shoulder. “But the cake was stellar, you have to admit that.”
“Oh, yes. Two pieces of heaven.” I gasped as agony ripped through me. “You sure you’re okay?”
Penny frowned, checking herself, then shook her head. “Not an ache, not a twinge. Ian’s formula worked perfectly on me.”
“Great, just great.” I kept my head on my knees, nausea now an extra added attraction.
“Try to relax, Glory. I’ll get rid of Mom, Dad and Jenny. No worries.” Penny patted my back, then closed the bathroom door.
No worries? I breathed through the nausea, held on to the wall to stand, and made a run for my bedroom. There I eased my door shut before I collapsed on the bed. I fumbled for my purse on the floor and pulled out my cell phone, barely managing to hit Ray’s number before my stomach rumbled again and made me double over. I shoved my purse away and grabbed my trash can, just in case. Thank God, I didn’t throw up but it was close.
I listened to the phone ring with my eyes closed. This had to be way more than a simple case of gluttony that a Tums could cure.
Seventeen
“Glory? How’s it going? Isn’t this the night you were having Penny’s folks over for dinner?” Ray’s voice sounded wonderful, not slurred. He was sober and cheerful. I was so . . . not. I could barely talk as my stomach did a bob and weave. Shapes moved under my skirt. Like a boa trying to make an escape.
“Not great. Tell Ian I’m having one of my weird reactions to his stuff.” I gasped. “Pain.”
“We’ll be right there. Hang in, babe.”
I tossed the phone aside and grabbed my middle. Skirt. Even without the button it was too tight. I managed to get the zipper down and wiggled out of it, then kicked it to the floor. I slid under the sheet and coverlet, shaking as another pain hit me. I’d been a pig and this was what I got.
But Penny was right. She’d eaten just as much and she hadn’t looked like she’d swallowed a water balloon. I huddled under the covers and curled onto my side, my knees pulled up toward my chest. Even my black silk panties felt tight, but I wasn’t about to shuck those. Why couldn’t anything ever be simple for me? I don’t know how long I lay there before Penny opened the bedroom door.
“They’re gone. They left a bunch of leftovers in the fridge. I figure Trey or Rafe would enjoy them later. Or not.” Penny had a pen and notebook in her hands. “Let me take your temperature.” She stopped by the bed. “Do you have a thermometer in the bathroom?”
“Uh, that would be a no. Vampires don’t worry about stuff like that.” I groaned and rolled over. “Ian’s on his way. Look at my stomach.” I pulled down the covers. “It’s like it’s alive.”
“Damn. And I always said Mom’s roast beef was cooked to death.” Penny poked my swollen skin. “You may be right; something’s trying to get out of there.”
“Answer the door. They must have shifted to get here so fast.” I recognized Ray’s scent.
“No kidding.” She turned and ran to the front door. I heard her greet Ian and Ray. She was busy answering questions about when we’d taken the drug and what we’d eaten when Ray came to stand next to my bed.
“What the hell, Glory?” He sat beside me and brushed back my hair.
“Don’t know.” I blinked and a tear rolled down my cheek. “Penny’s fine. But my stomach—” I bent over and held it as pain ripped through me again. “Damn it!”
“Gloriana, breathe through it.” Ian pushed Ray out of the way. He opened a doctor’s bag and pulled out that stethoscope Penny had wished for. “I’m going to take a listen. See what’s going on.” He rubbed the metal sensor with his hand, then placed it on my chest, right inside the vee of my sweater, then he lifted that sweater to check below my breast, moving down toward my stomach.
I could see Ray watching his every move. I stretched out my hand and he took it, squeezing my fingers reassuringly. When Ian pulled down the sheet and my stomach was exposed, he hissed and Ray leaned to s
ee over his shoulder.
“Damn, Glory. Did you eat a side of beef?” Ray gawked at my stomach.
“Very funny.” I moaned as my stomach rolled. “No, but I ate two enormous pieces of cake, three rolls, or at least the tops of them, slathered with butter. And some weird but tasty sweet green beans. We both did. Right, Penny?”
“Yes. We were pigs. My mom’s not a great cook, but with a chance for a vampire to eat . . .” I saw her look to Ray for sympathy and he nodded.
“Yeah, I get it, especially for my gal here. Glory’s been without solid eats for way too long. But you seem to be holding up fine, Penny. Glory’s stomach looks like it’s about to blow open and I wish I was exaggerating.” Ray pulled my hand to his lips and kissed my knuckles. “Crazy.”
“There is something about you, Gloriana. This is the second of my formulas that hasn’t agreed with you. It’s like an allergic reaction. At least that’s what I think this is.” Ian pulled a hypodermic needle from his bag. “This time I hope you’ll let me treat you.”
“Yes. Whatever it takes to stop this. Surely this tummy bulge won’t be permanent.” I looked like I’d swallowed a small watermelon.
“You mind if Penny listens to your stomach before I give you the shot? This is a chance for her to learn something.” Ian took off his stethoscope.
I glanced at Penny’s eager face. “Sure, go ahead. But hurry.”
She took the stethoscope and carefully placed the earpieces, then leaned over. “Wow, fascinating.” She and Ian said a few things that I ignored. It was technical jargon and I had a feeling my fledgling was going to end up in medical school after all. Maybe I could plant the idea in her parents’ minds that time spent with Ian would make that happen. Surely that would make them happier about her possible trip to Sodom and Gomorrah, otherwise known as California.
“Okay, I think I’ve suffered enough for science. Give me the damned shot.” I offered my arm.
“Wait. What is it?” Ray blocked Ian. “Yeah, yeah, I’m a sap, but this is what Blade would want to know.”
“Hello? In pain here.” I didn’t care what Ian gave me, just wanted the next lightning strike headed off before it hit ground zero.
“No, Ray’s right.” Ian smiled at me. “It’s a cocktail of a common antihistamine and a muscle relaxant.” He glanced at Penny. “Your fledgling saw me fill the syringe out in the living room after she described your symptoms.”
“That’s right, I did. You want me to read the labels on the vials? Look the stuff up on the Internet?” Penny didn’t know much about Ian’s history with Jerry, but she had a lot of respect for Mr. Blade.
“No, just shoot me.” I looked at Ray and Penny. “I appreciate the protective bit, but Ian is just trying to help. And if this kills me? He won’t live to see another sunset. Jerry will see to that.” I handed Ian my arm again. “Now get after it.”
“Sorry, Glory, but this goes in the bum. Like I said, these are common meds, but pretty strong doses. They’ll make you drowsy, but should take care of this reaction.” Ian frowned. “As for the swelling? Well, we’ll just have to wait and see if it goes down.” He gently rolled me over until he could see my hip, slid down my panty and injected the medicine before I could object to the familiarity. To tell the truth, I was in too much pain to care.
“Penny, why don’t you come into the other room and we’ll go through the symptoms you noticed as Gloriana presented them. She needs to rest.” Ian closed up his bag and led her toward the living room. “Ray, you’ll let me know if she shows any new signs of distress?”
“What? Any new signs?” Ray’s eyebrows went up. “I thought what you just did was supposed to fix her up.”
“So it was. But Gloriana never responds to any treatment as I expect, so I’ll trust you to keep a close eye on her.” Ian smiled at me. “Feeling any better yet?”
I smiled, surprised to realize I was. “Hmm. Yes, I think, um, well, maybe.” I looked over at Ray. “Come lie next to me. I’m worn-out and cold. Will you hold me?”
“Sure, babe. Whatever you want.” He kicked off his shoes and climbed in under the covers. “How’s the stomach?” He laid his hand over my tummy. “Still swollen, isn’t it?”
“Stupid me. Can’t anything be easy?” I sighed as he pulled me against him. “But chocolate cake, Ray. It was delicious.” I ran my hand over his cotton shirt. “You feel delicious too. Whatcha been doin’?”
“Are you okay?” He looked down at me. “You sound drunk. And I should know.”
“Just relaxed. Ian’s medicine is pretty good. Took the pain right away.” I slid my leg over Ray’s. “Now talk to me while I’m waiting for my tummy to shrink. Tell me what’s up. Besides Little Ray here.” I discovered the bulge behind Ray’s zipper. “Shame on you. I’m a sick woman.”
“I’m not the one making moves. And it’s Big Ray who’s happy to see you, nothing little about him.” Ray picked up my hand. “Lie still, woman. You should know a guy can’t always control his body.”
“Liar, liar, pants on fire.” I put my hand over my mouth. “Oops. Not mentioning fire or hell or any of that stuff. Don’t want the demons bugging me now.” I blinked when the room blurred. “Last night was a bad night, Ray.” I buried my face in his shirt and sobbed.
“What? What happened, Glory?” Ray stroked my hair.
“Lucifer tried to do something horrible to me. In, in the shower.” I couldn’t seem to stop crying as I poured out what happened. Why now? Why to Ray? Some part of me realized it was the medication working on me, loosening my inhibitions. But another part of me realized I needed to get this out and Ray had always been easy to talk to. I could trust him to get me and not judge. Or rush to take over and try to fix things.
I finally came to the end, cried out and drained. Ray rocked me against him, humming a sweet song in my ear that soothed me and lulled me into a calm I hadn’t felt since I’d fallen to the bottom of that bathtub. My own abyss.
“I’m sorry, Ray.” I lifted my head and looked at him.
“Sorry for what?” He kissed my damp cheeks. “Glory, Glory, Glory. I can’t believe you kicked Lucifer’s butt. Damn, girl.”
I smiled. “Yeah, I did, didn’t I?”
“Hell, yeah. I’d like to hear what he said to the guys down under when he came back smelling like he’d been dropped on his head in that girly shit.” He kissed my forehead, then pulled me close. He was putting a light spin on this, but I’d seen that this had hurt him, that he hurt for me. And easygoing Ray was struggling with the same rage that Jerry and Rafe felt. If we were fighting against normal men, the demons and Lucifer wouldn’t have stood a chance.
“I was lucky he decided I wasn’t worth his time after that.” I shuddered. “But I’m feeling better now. I needed to unload, I guess. If I fall apart with Jerry and Rafe, they . . .”
“I get it. They go all warrior on you, start looking for the nearest battlefield. Beating their chests and putting you behind them like you’re the helpless female.” Ray breathed into my hair. “Shit, right now I can relate. Would do me some good to hand that bastard a big dose of whoop-ass. Creeping into your shower, invading your privacy . . .”
“Yes, well, it’s over. Moving on.” I yawned.
“How is she?” Ian spoke from the doorway. “Any change?”
“Well, she’s woozy. I guess that’s from the shot. Pain’s gone.” Ray rubbed my back. “Still is, right?”
“All gone.” I lifted the sheet and looked down. “But my damned tummy is still poking out.” I sat up but the room spun so I fell back. “Ian, this is unacceptable. My stomach had better be flat, er, flatter, anyway, when I wake up tomorrow night or I’m suing! This has malpractice written all over it.”
I saw Penny’s eyes widen. “But I took the same thing, Glory, and I didn’t have any problems.”
“Yes. But you don’t have a boyfriend named Campbell. Truth now, Ian. Did you put something extra in my vial that you didn’t put in Penny’s?” I used Ray’s shoulde
r as I struggled to sit up again. Maybe paranoia was contagious or I’d been around Jerry too long.
“You know, somehow I knew this question might arise. So I took precautions.” Ian turned to Penny. “When I gave you the formula, Penny, how did you select the vials?”
“You had a bagful of samples. You told me to help myself. To take two, one for me and one for Glory. Any two I wanted. It was totally random.” Penny smiled at me. “So he couldn’t have rigged yours, Glory. No conspiracy possible.”
“Well, that’s a relief. Would hate to see that old feud start up again. Campbell versus MacDonald.” I leaned against Ray and he squeezed my shoulders. I’m sure he’d just loved hearing me call Jerry my boyfriend. “But you’re not off the hook. This is the second time you’ve made me sick, Ian, instead of delivering the benefit you promised.”
“Did you enjoy your meal, Gloriana?” Ian strode over to the bedside.
“Yes.” I looked up at him. “Well, as much as I could considering the beef was rubbery and the carrots were underdone. Not your fault.” I smiled at Penny. “Your mom doesn’t teach home ec, does she?”
“Are you kidding? The school board wouldn’t inflict her on future homemakers. Now come on, Glory, you know what Ian is asking.” Clearly Penny had a new idol and it wasn’t me.
“Fine. To tell the truth? If you could just perfect that damned formula, Ian, it would be worth its weight in gold.” I sagged against Ray. “Chocolate cake. Roast beef done right? Oh my God! And live forever too? Now there’s a vampire’s dream.”
“Don’t forget living in daylight.” Ray kissed my cheek.
“Right. You’re right, Ray. Keep working on that too, Ian.” I reached back to pat Ray’s cheek. I was definitely feeling drunk. But it was a happy drunk and I didn’t have it in me to be mad at Ian. Not now, anyway.
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