But that’s not what I wanted to tell you. What I wanted to tell you, Maria, is that you have captured my soul. Perhaps that’s why you play so well: because you have two souls, mine and your own. For forty years you have moved silently by my side, you’ve made me feel so at home in this house, you’ve made sure I never lacked for anything, you’ve made me that exquisite hot chocolate that I enjoy mostly for the pleasure of some time conversing with you . . . you who’ve laughed and cried with me . . . you have truly touched my heart. I realized it the first day when you played our song so beautifully . . . the day I asked you to take off your uniform. I had to leave to keep from taking it off myself, it was very hard for me to hold myself back. Imagine what you would have thought of me if I had, if I’d taken off your uniform right there, when you already think God knows what about the way I live my life . . . Maria, I’ve tried to get you out of my head, but I cannot. And this is the first time that’s ever happened to me: I met my wife when I was very young and in special circumstances. I fell in love, that’s true, but I don’t know if I was drawn into it by the atmosphere and by everything that was happening around us in those days. And all the other women who I’ve slept with have been nothing more than moments of musical intensity . . . it was like changing tone in the same composition . . . I don’t know if I’m explaining myself well, and I don’t know if you’ve ever fully understood it, but I don’t know how to say it any other way. But, with you, recently, I’ve had to stifle my desire to kiss your hands and your face and your everything, every day, and my desire to tell you how I feel. My desire to tell you that I love you. Forgive my honesty, it’s how I feel and I can no longer keep it to myself, even though I don’t dare say it to your face.
I am leaving and I hope to return. Right now I feel very well. They’ve told me that traveling could suddenly ruin my fragile health, but you know how doctors are, they’re always exaggerating . . . and I feel up to it. So you have fifteen days to think it over . . . And, when I return . . . will you please give me an answer? We are both old enough and we know each other so well! I no longer want to be with any other women, if that is what worries you—even though I don’t think that’s ever been much of an issue for you. If you say yes, I’d like to take you to my Kollwitzplatz . . . We’ll travel to Berlin and we’ll bring the Stainer with us and you can play the song about the peasant girl and the shepherd there where I used to play . . . And I will feel proud of having taught you a few notes that you could put soul into, the soul you’ve carried inside you ever since your parents taught you to sing what I wouldn’t let you. And I will hold you close and we will be happy, Maria.
But . . . don’t worry, because, if you don’t want to be with me . . . I mean, more than you have been up until now . . . if you don’t want anything more, I promise that I will keep the distance that you deserve and respect your decision, keeping the distance that we have maintained between us over the course of these forty wonderful years.
Yours always,
KARL
P.S. Oh, I forgot to mention: I promised Anna that I’d marry her, in exchange for the violin. Don’t worry about that, I’ll marry her, but we’ll be rid of her soon enough: As soon as she sees how little attention I pay her, she’ll leave me.
About the Author
AUTHOR PHOTOGRAPH: © JOAN PUERTO
Blanca Busquets is a Catalan writer and radio journalist. She began writing at the age of twelve and has published seven novels, which have been translated into Spanish, Italian, German, Russian, Polish, Norwegian, and French. Her fifth novel, La Nevada Del Cucut, was the winner of the 2011 Catalan Booksellers’ Prize. She lives in Barcelona, Spain.
Mara Faye Lethem has translated novels by Jaume Cabré, David Trueba, Albert Sánchez Piñol, Javier Calvo, Patricio Pron, Marc Pastor, and Toni Sala, among others. These books have been featured as New York Times and Booklist Editors’ Picks, and among the Best Books of the Year in The Times and Readers’ Favourite Books in the Financial Times. Her translation of The Whispering City, by Sara Moliner, recently received an English PEN Award.
65 Bleecker Street
New York, NY 10012
Copyright © Blanca Busquets Oliu, 2013, 2016
Copyright © Mara Faye Lethem, 2015
All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information, address Regan Arts Subsidiary Rights Department, 65 Bleecker Street, New York, NY 10012.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, incidents, and dialogue, except for incidental references to real persons, places, or products, are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, places or products are coincidental and is not intended to refer to any actual persons, places, or products.
First Regan Arts hardcover edition, October 2016
Library of Congress Control Number: 2016939705
ISBN 978-1-68245-030-7
ISBN 978-1-68245-031-4 (ebook)
Interior design by Nancy Singer
Cover design by Chin-Yee Lai
Front Jacket Photographs: Woman © Thinkstock / Getty; Violin © Jorgelum / Getty
The House of Silence Page 18
