by O. E. Boroni
“Well, it was nice hearing from you, and also my mom is in Portugal.”
“Oh, she is. How come?”
“Her ex-husband died. I just spoke to her now and she sounded so distraught. Maybe I can send her number to you so you can meet up with her. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to come over but I’m really worried about her. Seeing you would probably make her feel so much better.”
I doubted that was true but he was the only one that wasn’t aware of what was going on so I agreed, said goodbye to him and hung up. I sat in the armchair beside me when I was done, exhausted from all the skirting around and double meanings. He’d never really discussed Elizabeth with me in the past or any of his family for that matter so despite what was currently going on, in a way it felt like he was just using the current situation to engage me into what could possibly bring a reconciliation.
On the other hand, however, I believed Elizabeth was truly distraught, but I didn’t know what I could do to help.
I buried my face in my hands and wished that Nathan’s dad hadn’t told me about Elizabeth. Coupled with the difficulties I already had with Damian, this just seemed like I was personally stirring the pot for disaster.
The phone started ringing again so I picked it up. A woman’s voice came through and that startled me for a moment. “Hi,” I replied. “Who’s this?”
She was silent for a moment before she spoke. “I want to speak to Nathan Roque, please,” she said, ignoring my question.
“Well, Nathan’s not here right now. You can either call him back or leave a message.”
“Where is he? Are you a family member?”
“No,” I replied, and then added on a whim. “I’m his girlfriend.”
The woman let out a small laugh, which surprised me. “Well, I find that hard to believe. I don’t know who you are but when he comes back; please return his phone to him. I’ll deliver my message personally.”
And then she hung up. For a moment, I felt incredibly stupid and then I was amused. I looked at the phone to check who it was and saw the name ‘Stacy’. I wondered why I hadn’t noticed it earlier and then it hit me that it was probably his assistant producer. I looked up just in time to see Nathan emerge from the bathroom. He was dressed in a pair of dark briefs.
“What is it?” he asked.
“I think your assistant producer just called. Stacy.”
“Oh,” he said, and retrieved the plastic bag of clothes that we’d picked up earlier. “What did she say?”
“She said she’ll call you back but I was a bit forward. I didn’t check the caller ID properly so I didn’t know it was her.”
“What did you say?”
“I told her I was your girlfriend, and then she… she was kind of rude actually. In fact she laughed, almost as if it was impossible.”
He didn’t respond and just sat on the bed as he went through the bag. “Please call her back and say that it was a friend and that she was just joking or something.”
He stood up and turned to me with a small frown on his face, as he put his jeans on. “Why?” he asked. “You weren’t joking.” He picked up a white T-shirt and pulled it over his head. He came over and accepted the phone from me. He dialed the number again and sat on the armchair that I had been sitting on, and then he pulled me to him so that I fell onto his lap.
“Nathan,” I complained, halfheartedly trying to get back up but he kept me down with his hands around my waist.
“Did you still go to the bar to get a drink when you went out?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
“What did you get?” he asked but before I could respond, the call connected so with his forefinger he excused himself.
“Stacy,” he said, and then listened to what she was saying. To give him some privacy, I got up and headed over to the bathroom.
Damian
Almost a day later, I stepped out of the Faro Airport and pulled my phone out so that I could call my mother. It was still dialing when I thought I heard someone calling my name, so I turned around to see a woman walking towards me with a smile on her face. She looked familiar but for some reason I couldn’t place where I’d seen her before. So I just smiled back and disconnected the call before she reached me.
“Damian Bach,” she said as she offered her hand.
Since it was apparent that she wasn’t mistaking me for someone else, I accepted it. “Hi, forgive me but I can’t place your face.”
“Oh, I’m Stacy Washington,” she replied. “I’m the assistant producer for Lenora’s documentary.”
“Oh. Yes, I’m sorry. I knew you looked very familiar.”
“It’s okay. Are you here on business?”
“Not really. What about you?”
“Oh, um, our producer – Mr Roque – his father passed away about a week ago, so I’m here for the funeral and to lend whatever support I can.”
Everything stilled inside of me as I listened to her speak. “His father passed away?” I asked again, and she nodded, surprised that I was asking her a question she’d just answered. A bitter smile rose to my lips as I shook my head.
“Are you alright?” she asked.
“I am,” I told her. “Where are you staying?”
“I’m staying at a hotel in Albufeira Old Town. That’s where his family is.”
“Oh, I’m going to the same town. I just have to find out how to locate the hotel. Hopefully the taxi driver will know the place.”
“I’ve been here before for work, where are you staying?”
“At the Colina Do Mar hotel. I’m not sure how it’s pronounced.”
“Really? I’m staying in the same hotel too.”
“That’s great then. Do you mind if we share a cab?”
“Of course not. That would be great,” she replied.
We got a cab and in no time we were on our way. I was grateful for the company since it held the anger I felt at finding out the real reason why Lenora had come to Portugal at bay. We arrived at the hotel and after checking in, we parted ways while I headed straight to my mother’s room. After knocking continuously for at least five minutes, she eventually came to the door to open it but didn’t even look at me before she turned around and headed back to bed. She had a thick white robe on, while her hair was a complete mess.
“Elizabeth,” I groaned, unhappy at the state she was in as I headed over to the other side of the room to drop my bag.
“Don’t call me Elizabeth, I’m your mother,” she said.
“Wow, we’re snappy too,” I said and walked over to her. I bent down beside the bed and brushed her hair out of her face. There were tears streaming from her closed eyes.
“Mom,” I said as softly as I could. “Please stop crying.”
I sat down on the floor, and softly wiped the tears off her face.
“I’m so sorry,” she said.
“How do you feel?”
“As if this is not enough. As if I deserve so much more pain than this.”
“Is that why you’re crying?”
“Yes,” she said. “It’s not enough … nothing would ever be enough.”
“Do you regret leaving?” I asked.
“I do, but at the same time …” She softly placed her hand on my cheek. “I don’t.”
“Should we talk about it?”
“I’m not ready yet.”
I waited, and then she covered her face with her arms.
“I didn’t know I was going to permanently leave. Actually, that’s not true. I think I knew, but I didn’t believe it. I had a family; no one could be that heartless, right? But I did leave, hoping it would be just for a little while, but then each time it was time to go back, I couldn’t. It’s like all the happy memories I’d made over the years had disappeared from my mind, and all I could recall was feeling so depressed and angry at everything. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life feeling like that. Then eventually he told me not to come back, and then I felt terrible because I felt relieved. But I stil
l tried. The older boys went off to boarding school and it was only the youngest left.”
“He’s the twin to the girl you lost, right?”
“How do you know about that?”
“Dad told me. You were really sad back then so he told me why, and that I should help you out. I had just lost my mom too, so he made it seem like we were in the same boat, and that we should cling to each other.”
That brought a small smile to her face. “Oh, Henry …”
“He was pretty great.”
We were quiet for a while and then she said, “I finally returned, but he refused to take me back. And that was when he gave me the divorce papers.”
“Wait, he divorced you? I thought it was the other way round. So then why this extent of guilt?”
She sighed. “He didn’t hand me the papers because he wanted to get divorced. He hadn’t even signed them. He gave them to me as a shock factor, to force me to make a decision. He loved me, and he understood me, so he knew more than anyone that I was going to continue wavering until something struck and forced me to make up my mind. He didn’t want me to continue to waver because it was hurting everyone, and me. It took me more than a year to make up my mind and that was after your dad had proposed to me.”
Tears filled her eyes again. “I loved your dad, and I don’t regret a second with him, but I also loved Nicholau and I deeply regret that I didn’t have the chance to speak to him before he died. I saw him a few weeks ago at the hospital and he tried to speak to me but I was too ashamed. I thought I needed time and that I’d get another chance.”
“Wait, at the hospital? Do you mean when Lenora was there?”
“Yeah, I was so shocked. I haven’t been myself since then.”
“What was he doing there?”
“He was there for a checkup. Our son brought him in. The twin. He’s grown so much now but he didn’t recognize me. That reminds me, what where you fighting with him about?”
“What? I met him too?”
“He’s Alexandre Roque. At first I was so surprised to see him there but then I learned that he was producing Lenora’s film.” She shook her head. “I didn’t even try to speak to him. I ran away.”
She turned to me wondering why I had gone so quiet but I couldn’t speak. My throat constricted with anger and the moment I felt tears filling my eyes, I rose to my feet and grabbed my wallet from the table. “I’ll be back,” I told her and didn’t respond despite her calling out to me. Unable to stop myself from slamming the door shut in anger, I stormed off and found my way to the bar.
Lenora
After taking a few things that I would need for the night, Nathan and I left the hotel and headed back to his house. We arrived to meet his brothers walking from the house and heading towards the beach, carrying some fold up chairs.
“What’s going on?” Nathan asked Adriano.
“Campfire meeting.”
“Oh, okay. Things weren’t concluded at the one earlier today?”
“No, we just had breakfast and went our separate ways. We’ll make some final decisions now, and then just speak lightly.”
Atilio came out of the house with a chair of his own, and gave me a soft smile when he saw me but it seemed heavy. The sun had already gone down but I could clearly see the sad expressions on their faces and it bothered me. It made me think about my own dad, which brewed concerns that I didn’t want to think about just yet.
“Alex, get a chair and come over. Lenora you’re invited too.” Atilio said.
“Thank you.”
They all continued towards the beach while Nathan and I headed to his room.
Nathan had gone extremely quiet. After he dropped my bag on the floor he asked, “Are you ready or do you want to get something to eat first?”
“Um, Nathan, I think I should stay here.”
“Why?” he asked.
“It’s your time with your family, and they’ll be having private discussions. I don’t want to make them hesitate to fully communicate. And they’ll want to speak Portuguese so its better I remain here.”
He watched me and I could tell that he was contemplating whether he should go or not too.
“You should go,” I said, and his gaze came back into focus. “I’ll be here if you need me.” He ran a hand through his hair and nodded.
“Get something to eat,” he said before turning around to leave.
“Hey, can I get your phone? I need to check up on the office. My battery is dead.”
“Sure,” he said and when he came over to hand it to me I held his hand and stared into his eyes. He allowed my fingers to interlace with his and gave me a smile that was devoid of everything. It was so flat but I could tell he was still making the effort for my sake. I reached up on tiptoe and gave him a small peck on his lips. Then I pulled his head down until it rested on my shoulder, he encircled his arms around me while I did the same and we remained like that for a few seconds. I was the first to pull back since he was running late and although there was a little resistance at first, he let go and left the house.
I put together a sandwich, and then sat down at the table to eat. I was going through my emails when his phone started ringing. I looked down and picked it up when I saw that it was Stacy.
“Hey,” I said, still feeling a little embarrassed at how we’d spoken the last time she called.
“Hi, who’s this?” she asked, her voice a bit hostile.
“It’s Lenora Baker,” I quickly replied. “So sorry about last time, I didn’t know you were the one calling.”
“Oh,” she said, and remained quiet for a few seconds before she spoke again. “That’s uh… okay. How come you’re with Nathan?”
“I just came to give him some support. I met his dad at the hospital so I was really sad when I heard what happened. Nathan just went out for a family meeting but I’ll tell him you called so he can get back to you.”
“Oh, I didn’t realize you two were that close. No, that’s fine,” she said. “Actually I’m on his street but I can’t seem to find his place, and it’s dark. I wanted him to clarify the directions.”
“Oh, you’re here. Right. Well, I’m in the house right now so I’ll just come outside and find you. Where are you?”
She was just a few houses down from Nathan’s so I headed towards her, but I felt very uncomfortable. Although she was just visiting, I didn’t know if the family would be okay with coming home and seeing yet another girl waiting for Nathan. But it wasn’t my house either so I couldn’t decide who came in and who didn’t.
After I found her, we made our way back to the house. She sat at the kitchen table while I put the kettle on to make some tea. I felt self-conscious while standing there since I was dressed in what was obviously Nathan’s jeans and a t-shirt. To take my mind off my unease, I continued checking my emails to see a load of catalogues and requests that had been sent to me to approve. With a sigh, I made tea and made small talk with Stacy until neither of us had anything to say anymore, which thankfully was about five minutes later. I got on Nathan’s phone, and started working.
I finally looked up about an hour later when I heard voices outside.
“I think they’re back. Let’s go meet them outside,” I told her and she agreed. We went out but I was surprised to see that only Nathan’s brothers and Beatrice were coming towards us.
“Hey,” I greeted them and they smiled back at me. I quickly introduced Stacy before they asked. “This is Stacy Washington, she works with Alex.”
I left them to introduce themselves and went over to Beatrice to ask where everybody else was. “They went straight home,” she replied. “Everyone’s exhausted.”
“What about Alex?”
“He’s still at the beach. He said he’s going to stay there for a while.”
I sighed. “Is he okay?”
“Honestly, I really don’t know. Usually he would hide what he’s feeling but so far he’s allowed the pain to show on his face. He didn’t say a word throug
hout the meeting unless he was asked a question.”
“Do you think I should go meet him? Or do you think he’d rather be alone?”
“I don’t know. You know him so you probably know what he’d prefer.”
“Beatrice, I’m still trying to figure him out.”
That made her smile. “I understand. But I don’t think he’ll mind either way since it’s you. So just head over and ask what he needs.”
“Uh, okay,” I said and turned my attention back to Stacy. The guys left with Beatrice while I spoke to her.
“He’s still at the beach,” I said. “But I’ll go see how he’s doing. I’ll tell him you stopped by and make sure he gives you a call as soon as possible.”
She just stared at me and I could tell that she was considering something so I decided to wait.
“Why can’t I just go over to speak to him now?” she asked, and although she didn’t sound rude, I was offended.
“Because he’s not doing so well,” I replied, trying to keep the edge off my tone.
“Well, that’s not a problem, it’s not like I’m a stranger. I was his girlfriend until just a few months ago.”
Silence.
Her words startled me, but I recovered and from nowhere a smile came to my lips. “Okay, well, do what you like.” I said, and returned to the house.
I went straight into Nathan’s room and sat down.
Ex-girlfriend? Okay. Wow. Somehow I wasn’t too surprised that they had been in a relationship and I wasn’t sure why except for the fact that she was incredibly beautiful. She had jet-black shoulder length hair, olive green eyes and a killer figure. But then again when did looks ever move Nathan?
Shaking my head to dispel the silly thoughts, I picked the phone back up and returned to my emails. But then something that Elisa had said to me about him moving to New York for a chance to reconcile with me came to mind. So if he truly had, why then did he start dating her? Suddenly, worry crept into my heart and refused to leave, but I managed to push them aside. When I was done with the emails, I got up and headed over to the beach.
I wasn’t sure of the directions but it seemed pretty straightforward. I just followed the road from the house until I reached a rocky descent, and very carefully headed down until I stepped on the white sands of the beach. It was my first time at the beach since I’d arrived. Everywhere was dark, but I could still see the ocean and the waves as they continuously crashed onto the shore. Nathan was sitting on a chair and in front of a fire that was almost out.
