by Wahida Clark
“Oh, so you’re not mad at me anymore?” she sarcastically asked me.
“Is that the way you answer the phone?”
“I’m just sayin’.”
“Well, no, I’m no longer mad. It’s all good, because I have some news that will make your ass fly out here today. But you best believe I will address me being mad at another time. I’m not letting you off that easy.”
“Tasha, it’s not like I’m not there with you on purpose. I had to—”
I cut Angel short. “Angel, it’s all good. Just get Jaz on the phone.”
“Damn you, Tasha,” Angel mumbled, as she put me on hold.
I paced back and forth across the kitchen floor until I heard Jaz’s voice. But to my surprise, she was crying. “Jaz, what’s the matter?” I asked her.
“Shit’s so crazy for us right now. I feel so bad for him!” she cried.
“So bad for who?” Angel and I asked at the same time.
“Faheem. His son. They shot and killed him.” She started bawling.
I gasped not wanting to believe what I heard. It was fucked up because Faheem had just met his son a few short months ago.
“What happened? Who shot him? Where were they?” Angel asked before I could.
“Some drama his son’s mother got him caught up in. On top of that, he’s in the hospital with a broken leg, and the police beat him down and then arrested him. I’m at the hospital now.”
“Oh, my God. Can this conversation get any worse?” I asked. “We didn’t even get the chance to meet his son.”
“I know. He was adorable. We didn’t even get a chance to get used to him.” Jaz blew her nose. “What’s up? I gotta go and get myself together. As you can tell, I am a nervous wreck.”
“Nervous wreck? I am devastated.” And I was. “Why did this have to happen to him?” Faheem has such a big heart. I only saw good karma surrounding him. So why did this happen?
“I don’t know,” Jaz responded.
“Well, maybe what I have to say will cheer you up just a little bit. You ready for this? Kyra. She’s here, at the hospital.” When they didn’t say anything, I said, “She’s alive, y’all! She’s here in California.”
“Tasha, don’t play like that.” Angel said.
“Angel, don’t get on my nerves. Do you honestly think I would play about something like this? Rick is getting ready to take us up there.”
“Rick?” Angel screeched.
“You mean to tell me all of this time, she’s been with him?” I could hear the shock and disbelief of Jaz’s voice.
“No. He found her on my doorstep. It’s a long story. Anyway, y’all need to get up here as soon as y’all can. For real, I don’t think I can face this by myself. I understand y’all not coming here for me, but the both of you need to be here for Kyra, especially you, Angel. She is your cousin. Even if it is for only one day.”
TRAE
Damn. The federal government be on some bullshit. Giving niggas fake funerals and shit. Rick was full of surprises. I attended his memorial and even shed a few tears. Now this nigga shows up on my doorstep. He told me how he was working as a detective in Atlanta and fell for this chick named Nina, who could pass for Kyra’s sister. He said she was a true hustler and that they robbed some people, and now he was living with her in Tucson. She already had three kids and was five months pregnant with the fourth one, which was his. But now that Kyra was back in the picture, he admitted that his head was all fucked up.
We tried to kick it and catch up right quick about things that were going on in each of our lives. He was glad that I took Marvin out but pissed off because he wanted to dead the nigga himself. He said he was a pussy for leaving Kyra for dead. I told him those were my thoughts, too. Just for that and for causing my wife so much grief, I took care of him. It was the principle of the matter. Rick told me how Marvin and his crew caught him slippin’, and because of that, he almost lost his life. I warned him not to tell Kyra about Marvin. I would do that myself when it came up and when the timing was right. I knew I would have to eventually face Kyra and Marvin’s daughter. Aisha came up to me at least every other day and asked out of the blue, “Where is my daddy?” Or “Has he called yet?” And I couldn’t say that it didn’t bother me.
4
ONI
“Please Lord, oh please Lord bring him back!” I heard myself scream as I rocked back and forth, squeezing myself tight and wishing that I could hold my son one last time. My eyes were swollen shut from all of the crying. I was in the chapel inside the hospital, hiding from everyone. It had only been a couple of hours since I identified my child’s body, and now the hospital wanted me to identify my brother Wali, but I couldn’t. I didn’t have the strength. So I gave them Mike’s number. I felt as if I was living in hell. My son and my brother? I was overwhelmed with grief. I couldn’t understand why my son was taken from me while he was so young. My only child. I began to cry again.
I got on my knees and prayed for an hour straight, asking God to turn back the hands of time so that I could do things differently. I prayed that Faheem would be okay and that he could find it in his heart to forgive me instead of hating me and condemning me to hellfire. But no matter how long I prayed, I noticed that I didn’t feel at peace. I’m sure it was because of my guilt, my greed, and my lust. Calling them deadly sins is an understatement.
I had no business taking that package from Steele. We had no business robbing him in our own hotel. That was stupid. And two deaths was confirmation that my brothers and I hadn’t planned things out thoroughly. It only became personal to Steele because I would sleep with him on occasion. For me, it was convenience, but he obviously thought differently. And because of that, he felt that he could hurt me by kidnapping my son. Someone I loved more than life itself. When I ran into Faheem, I saw the hurt in his eyes that told me that I was the one who needed to die. When he choked me, I was wishing that he would have killed me. Now I wish I could stay in this chapel forever.
JAZ
Well, well, well. Look at this bitch! Lord forgive me for that thought in your house. My jaws tightened at the sight of Oni as Kaeerah and I entered the chapel. I thought it would be a good idea for myself and Kaeerah to say a prayer for her father and her brother. We had to thank God that Faheem was alive and that losing his son wouldn’t be too big of a burden that he couldn’t bear. I was also praying that they would release him and not charge him with some bullshit. After all, it was Oni and her brothers who caused all of this drama. But as I entered the chapel the hairs on my neck stood seeing Oni kneeling. I came in peace but now I felt like warring. This bitch is the reason my husband is in pain both physically and mentally. I told Kareerah to take a seat.
“Mommy, there goes Miss Oni!” she yelled out, causing Oni to turn around.
“I see her,” I mumbled. Oni looked like hell, for lack of a better word. She looked as if she had aged ten years. The sadness on her face almost softened my heart. She had dark rings under her red eyes, and her hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail. Even her clothes were crumpled and dusty-looking. Her cream blouse was ruined from the makeup all down the front of the shirt and on the sleeve. She looked as if she hadn’t been home to change or bathe in days. If it had been any other day, I would have gloated that I was my usual fly self.
“Hi, Miss Oni,” Kaeerah called out cheerfully. Despite my hate for her, I raised my child better.
“Hello, Kaeerah,” she said, and then burst out crying. The type of gut-wrenching cry that comes from your soul. I took that as my cue to leave, because chill bumps were popping up on my arms. I know she didn’t think I was coming over to console her.
I went over and grabbed Kaeerah’s hand. “C’mon, baby, we will come back later.”
“No, wait!” Oni got up off of her knees and rushed over to us. “You don’t have to leave.” She grabbed my arm and just as quickly as she did, I snatched it away from her, moving Kaeerah behind me.
“Jaz, please,” she said with a craz
ed look in her eyes. “I need your help.” She pleaded with tears streaming down her cheeks.
“There is nothing I can do for you,” I said through clenched teeth. I was struggling really hard, trying not to tap that ass right there in the chapel.
“Please. You have to tell Faheem that I am sorry. I can’t live with him hating me.”
The pain in her eyes caused my heart to skip a beat. The mother in me wanted to comfort her, but the wife in me and the hate I was holding onto said, Check this bitch. I closed the space between us. “I will do no such thing. Are you fucking crazy? Bitch, it is all,” I pointed toward her chest, “All your fault that your child is dead. You’re sorry? Bitch, you are more than sorry! Because of you, your son is dead!” My mood went from anger to rage. “Sorry is not going to bring that child back. Sorry is not going to take back the pain that Faheem will live with for the rest of his life. Sorry is not going to take back the beat-down that my husband endured, and sorry damn sure ain’t going to make the police leave him alone. You are absolutely right, you are sorry. A sorry, pathetic bitch. Your son is dead. He is never coming back and my husband, his father will never get over that. I hope you rot in hell. You were always sheisty, and you deserve whatever hell is coming at you, and believe me, it’s coming. Stay the fuck away from my family! Let’s go, Kaeerah.” I pulled her arm, and we left the chapel.
I was not expecting to run into her and get that off. It actually felt better than prayer.
Most important, I hoped that she suspected that I was coming after her. I already knew who I was going to get to help me carry my plan out.
ONI
I couldn’t believe that Jaz went off on me like that . . . and in front of her daughter. I already was at my wits end, guilt damn near eating me alive. Now I felt as if there was no hope at all. She threw every shred of blame there was up in my face. It’s my fault that my son is dead. It’s my fault that Faheem will have to live with this pain for the rest of his life. I was hoping that Jaz would have helped me. But instead, she magnified my pain and cut my soul to shreds.
FAHEEM
“I’m baaaad, shut yo mouth!” Steve announced as he barged into my hospital room. “Tell me I’m the man! Go ahead! Tell me, Faheem.”
“Steve, I’m lying here like a wounded, captured animal, and you want me to play word games?”
“You want to know why I’m the man?” Steve continued to ignore my sour mood. “You pay me the big bucks because I. Am. The. Man. That’s right! I am the man!”
“I pay you the big bucks so you can get these chains off of me and keep them off, that’s why.” I focused on the television, which was on mute.
“Mr. Mujahid, exactly what in the hell is it that you think I did?”
He now had my undivided attention. “What do you mean, Steve?”
He leaned over and began to whisper, “Your prints were not on any of the weapons at the scene of the crime. Hell, they were on nothing but your son. But I did have to agree to bring you in for questioning. Key words: bring you in. Once we do that, our end of the deal is done. If you don’t know anything, you can’t tell anything. You understand?”
I breathed a sigh of relief. I knew Jaz would be glad to hear this. “So when will the cuffs come off, and when will the goon leave from out of my room?”
“They should be getting the call any minute now. As a matter of fact, let me call them.” He left the room.
I was ready to get up out of there, but Steve wanted me to stay there as long as possible. He said that because of the beat-down, I had a potential lawsuit. But I couldn’t have cared less about a lawsuit. I was anxious for my leg to heal, because I’d made a promise that once it did, each and every nigga who had anything to do with me losing my son was dead.
I looked up, and the minute I saw Jaz step into the room, I knew something was wrong. “What’s up?” Jaz stood on one side of the bed, and Kaeerah went around to the other.
“I just saw that bitch Oni in the chapel.”
“Watch your mouth!” I snapped. Kaeerah was looking dead in her mouth. “You need to get somebody to watch her. She doesn’t need to be up here every day all day like this. And you should know that I don’t want to hear shit about Oni.”
“You watch your mouth, Faheem,” Jaz snapped back, and Kaeerah started giggling. “It’s not about her. The news I have for you is about my girl. Kyra is in the hospital out there where Tasha is, and I’ve gotta go out there to see her. I’ma take Kaeerah with me and hire a nurse to be here with you. Is that okay?”
“A nurse? I’m in a hospital. What the hell do I need a nurse for? And how long do you plan on being in California?”
“I’m only going to stay for a couple of days. And I’m hiring a nurse for my peace of mind. I can’t be out there wondering if you’re okay here.”
“Kyra. Kyra?” My brain started processing. “I thought she was dead. She’s in the hospital? What Kyra are you talking about?”
“My Kyra. Our Kyra. And she isn’t dead. She is very much alive. Once they release her from the hospital, she’s moving in with Tasha.”
“So where the hell was she all of this time? Is she all right?”
“I don’t know the answer to either one of those questions. But I want to leave in the morning. I hate to leave you here by yourself, but I gotta go see what’s going on. You sure you’re okay with that?”
“I’ll be fine. Steve just told me that since my prints were nowhere at the scene other than on my son, they gotta release me.”
Jaz came over and hugged me. “Yes! I love you, baby. I was so scared that you were going to jail, Faheem, you just don’t know. That’s the best news, well, the second-best news I received today, because Kyra being alive, that news floored me. Baby, we will get through this. I don’t want to leave you, but I gotta go see Kyra.”
“I told you, I’ll be fine.”
“Why is he still in here? Baby, the charges being dropped is not real to me until he is gone.” She was referring to the cop still sitting in the corner.
“So, they aren’t going to take you to jail when you leave here?” Kaeerah asked.
“No, Eerah, Daddy’s not going to jail.”
“Good! So you can come to Cali with us tomorrow!” My baby gave me this big Kool-Aid smile, and at that moment, it felt as if everything was going to be all right.
“How is your daddy going to get on a plane with this cast on his leg?” I reached out and tickled her neck.
She giggled. “Easy, Daddy. They can let you on first in a wheelchair.”
“Nah, baby, I can’t even walk yet. I’ll wait right here for y’all to come back. Then, as soon as you do, you can roll me out of here in a wheelchair and take me home. Is that a deal?” I held my pinky finger up.
She wrapped her little pinky around mine. “It’s a done deal!”
“That’s what I’m talkin’ about.”
TASHA
I didn’t know why I was so nervous. After all, Kyra was my family, but still, I really didn’t know what to expect and was wishing that Angel and Jaz were there to help me out with this. Trae and Rick and I were on our way out the front door to go see Kyra when Rick pulled out his cell. His eyes lit up.
“This is her now! Hey, baby, I’m on my way up there right now, and I’ma bring some visitors.” He hit his speaker-phone button.
“Well, save your surprise, and come get me out of here. No more visits. The doctor just gave me my discharge papers.”
Oh, my God, that’s her voice. I know that voice anywhere. It was really her. “Kyra!” I snatched the phone out of Rick’s hand. “Kyra! It’s me, Tasha!” I choked up.
“Tasha? Tasha!” She started screaming. Then she was quiet, and all I could hear was her crying.
“Kyra, everything’s going to be all right. We got you. I just need for you to come on home. My home is your home. All you’ve got is love waiting here for you.”
“I love you guys, too,” she said through sobs. “Tell Rick to come and get m
e. God is good, he is so good. Tasha, my daughter. Is . . . ? Where . . .”
“Kyra, your daughter is here. I told you, we got you.” All I could hear was her crying harder, which made me start crying. Trae took the phone from me and passed it back to Rick. He hugged me as I stood there. I was in shock. Even though Rick told us he had Kyra, I still was skeptical. After all, he was a lying ass cop. Standing there I was in a daze I heard her voice again, this time in my heart. I began to cry uncontrollably. I love my friends, we have been through so much. They are my sisters. And things haven’t been the same since we thought that Kyra was dead.
“Rick, you go and get Kyra. Tasha and I will get everything here ready for her and talk to Aisha.”
“No doubt. I’ll call when I’m on my way back.”
Trae whispered in my ear, “Are you gonna be all right? Or am I gonna have to sedate you?”
“Oh, so you’ve got jokes.” I wiped my tears. “Baby, you gotta understand, just the sound of her voice after all of this time got me. Hell, the whole situation got me feeling some kind of way. I never dealt with something like this before.”
“I know, baby, but you need to pull yourself together. You gotta go talk to Aisha.”
“Why do I have to talk to her? Why can’t we both talk to her?”
“Because one of us has to get her room ready,” Trae had the nerve to say.
“Don’t even try it. Let Aunt Marva get the room ready. Let’s both talk to Aisha. I want you with me on this, Trae. I don’t want to say the wrong thing.”
“Baby, you are making this harder than it has to be. She’s just a child. All you gotta do is tell her that her mother is coming home. Let Kyra tell her everything else.”
