by Wahida Clark
“Is that what you wanted?”
I laughed. “I wanted Rick.”
“Do you have him?”
“I don’t know. Not really. I hope so. I feel like I should be the one to have him. I do know that I’m not going to walk away without putting up a damned good fight.”
Trae was quiet. It made me wonder if I sounded stupid to him. My thoughts went back to Marvin. “Marvin. He loved me, Trae.”
“I know he did.”
“He loved his family.”
“There is no doubt in my mind.”
“But I was falling out of love with him, and that’s what started all of this madness between us.”
“You stopped loving him because of Rick? Or because of him being other than himself, on drugs?”
I didn’t want to answer that question. “He loved me, but he left me for dead. How did he die?” That question flew out of my mouth but I wasn’t sure if I really wanted the answer.
“Gunshot. I thought that you knew.”
“I don’t think I wanted to know.”
Trae nodded slightly and continued to walk.
“So . . . did you stop loving Marv because of Rick? Or because of him strung out on dope?”
“It was both.” The words left my mouth, and the reality of them sank into my heart. I began to feel like I had betrayed Marvin. My emotions were beginning to take over, so I figured I didn’t need to say anything else about that subject. “Trae, it appears that we are all crumbling to pieces and at the same time. I don’t understand it. Why do things have to go downhill? Why can’t life keep getting better?”
He smiled. “Hard trials purify. It may appear that we are going downhill, but if we all stick it out, we will be all right. Only the strong survive. I know that sounds like bullshit, but it is what it is. We either hold up or fold up.”
“Simple as that?” I asked him.
“Simple as that.”
TASHA
That was a much-needed visit, for all three of us. I was glad to see Trae, and he was ecstatic to see me. Kyra seemed totally revitalized. I didn’t know what all she and Trae talked about, but it was obviously what she needed. She seemed whole again and ready to be able to withstand anything. I just had to see how she’d hold up if Rick decided to stay with Nina. That would be the real test.
I had a doctor’s appointment the next day which I was not looking forward to. I took a home pregnancy test, and it was positive. I was petrified at the thought of having to tell Trae. I was with him the night before my trip to Vegas. And then with Kyron two days later. Whose baby was I carrying this time?
21
ANGEL
“Baby, it’s almost three thirty, are you ready yet?” I stuck my head into Kaylin’s office. We had been there in the studio since six thirty that morning, and I was ready to go home.
“Come in, I want you to listen to this.” I reluctantly went in and sat down in the chair in front of his desk. I was ready to go, not to listen to another guy trying to rap. He hit the speaker button, and it went into his voice mail. “Listen to this.”
“Dad, it’s me, Jahara. I got a proposition for you. Can you buy me the new iPhone 5? Ummm, you can cancel my piano lessons or my gymnastics lessons. Whichever one equals to the iPhone 5, but don’t answer right now. We can discuss it when we go to the mall this Saturday. Love you. And oh, Daddy, don’t tell Mommy about this. This is our business.”
Kaylin thought it was cute. I thought otherwise.
“I’ma beat her ass! What is she talking about, don’t tell Mommy? And she’s not quitting piano or gymnastics! And an iPhone 5? She’s only six! What—oh, my God! She’s growing up so fast. She’s making me feel like I’m getting old.”
Kaylin burst out laughing. “You may be getting old, but not me, I’m getting younger and better.”
“Baby, our daughter is talking about an iPhone 5 and making propositions. Soon she’ll be asking to borrow the car. I was just changing her Pampers, Kaylin.”
“I know how to remedy that!”
“Don’t even think about it! I am not having another one anytime soon. So get that out of your big little head.”
“Think about it, Angel. Don’t you think you need to get it out of the way?”
“Oh, like Tasha?” Damn. I’d let that one slip. I had just spoken with her, and she told me she was pregnant again, and just her luck, she didn’t know who it belonged to.
“Really? She’s pregnant again? I think that you need to follow her example. She’s getting ’em all over and done with.”
“Don’t say anything, Kaylin! She is scared to death to tell Trae.”
“She hasn’t told him?”
“No, she hasn’t. She just found out. Plus, she doesn’t know if it’s Trae’s or Kyron’s. So can you blame her? Mentally, she has to be a total wreck. I can’t even imagine what’s going through her head right now. So you and me, we need to stay out of it. Let her and Trae deal with this the best way they can. This is too delicate for us to pry.”
“Damn,” Kaylin mumbled.
“That was really fucked up what Kyron did. What he slipped into her drink could have killed my girl.” I looked at Kaylin, waiting on a response. Lately, I’d noticed that whenever I mentioned Kyron’s name, Kay would shut down. Which could only mean that he was up to something. I just didn’t know what. On the one hand, I wanted to know, but on the other, I didn’t, because I knew Kaylin, and brother or not, it was going to be ugly.
“Come on, let’s get out of here.” Kaylin stood up and grabbed his keys.
See what I mean? He shut down at the mention of Kyron’s name.
“I’ve been ready since noon. Let’s bounce. I haven’t been out of the building at all today.” I reminded him.
I followed Kaylin as he performed his end-of-the-day ritual, which was making his final rounds of the office, with the studio his last stop.
“Yo, Kay, I need to holla at you,” his new producer, Heart Throb, yelled out.
“I’m outta here, man, you should’ve hollered at me earlier. I’ve been here in the office since the break of dawn. How long you here for? I may swing through later on tonight.”
“I’m waiting on E. She’s on her way.”
Kaylin looked at his watch. “She’s late.”
“Ayyy, I’m just the producer.” He picked up his drink and made a toast to the air.
I grabbed Kaylin’s hand, ready to go. He got the hint. “So you coming back later?” I wanted to know. Because I wasn’t. I dragged him towards the elevators.
“I might, depends on how I feel. Why? You got something for me to get into?” He licked his lips looking me up and down.
“Always.”
“Well, that ain’t gonna take all night,” he teased, throwing his arm around my neck and kissing me on the neck.
“You don’t know that.” I wrapped my arm around his waist, and we stepped onto the elevators and rode down, locked in a kiss. When it stopped, we stepped out onto the bottom level of the garage.
“Don’t make a scene, just walk with us,” a voice barked. At first, I was thinking that he wasn’t talking to us. But when I turned around to see three dudes in what looked like janitor uniforms, I tried to remain calm. These niggas had rolled up on us with guns. We were about to get jacked.
“Yo, son, tell your wife to keep going. You have to come with us,” the light-skinned one ordered.
What the fuck? How does he know I’m the wife? I thought as I held Kaylin tighter. I studied their faces and was glad that they were dumb enough not to have them covered up.
“What? Y’all here to rob me?” Kaylin calmly asked them.
“Nah, homey. We just need you to go with us.” They kept the guns pointed at us.
“Aiight. But just make sure you let my wife go.”
“Let your wife go? I already told you we are here for you, not her.”
I held Kaylin that much tighter. He looked at the two goons standing in front of him, and I peeked at the one
who was directly behind us.
“Baby, go ahead home. I’ll be there later.”
I panicked. “No!” I blurted out. “If they take you, they gotta take me, too.” I balled up a fistful of his shirt. If they wanted me to turn him loose, they were going to have to cut my arm off.
“Babe, go ahead.” He was stern, and his whole demeanor changed, but I didn’t care.
“Yeah, babe.” One of the goons in front mocked him as he went to grab me. Kaylin blocked him.
“Don’t touch my wife!” Kaylin hissed. Splat! The goon smacked Kaylin, slammed him in the face with his gun. I was now scared to death but even more determined not to leave.
“Man, the next time you use your hands for anything, I’m releasing one in you,” the one with the YMCMB fitted cap threatened.
“That’s what you’re going to have to do, because I don’t let muthafuckas put their hands on my wife.”
“I’m not leaving my husband.”
“Red!” Kaylin gritted at me.
“Kaylin, I’m not leaving you.”
The goon in front of me got in my face. “Lady, don’t be stupid. Turn your man loose. I’m not gonna say it again.”
“I’m not saying it again, either. I’m not turning him loose.”
“Red, c’mon, now.” Kay was trying to get me to turn him loose.
“Baby, no. Please don’t make me go.” I was more petrified of leaving Kaylin’s side than of the three guns.
Then the goon in the front grabbed me by my arm, and all hell broke loose. We started scrappin’. The three of them against us, with Kaylin trying to use his body to block me. We were having a good run until we both ended up on the ground with cocked barrels pressed up against our temples and another one pressed up against our foreheads. But guess what? I was still holding onto Kaylin’s shirt.
“Y’all muthafuckas gonna have to shoot me!” I yelled out, all out of breath, hoping that someone around would hear me.
“Man, fuck this, look how much time we wasted! Rock this bitch to sleep,” the angriest out of all three of them said. “Boss man ain’t say nothing about no bitch, so we can get two for one since she ride or die.”
“Shit, let her go, because we need to get the fuck outta here. Look how much time we already wasted! Get him in the car, and pop the trunk,” the one wearing the YMCMB cap said.
The goon in back of me punched my arm, causing me to let go of Kaylin. The other two forced him into the backseat, and YMCMB dragged me to the back of the car. He popped the trunk. “You wanted to go, right?” He picked my ass up as if I only weighed five pounds and threw me into the trunk, slamming it shut. I smelled gas, and it felt like I was lying on top of shovels and brooms.
“Why the fuck y’all gotta take her?” I heard Kaylin ask. His voice was muffled, and I strained to hear whatever else I could. I felt something crawl on me.
Damn, what the hell was I thinking?
LIL’ E
I was on my way to the studio, hoping to put the finishing touches on this new song. I was anxious for my boss, Kay to hear it. “Yo—” I was bent down in my car, peeking over the dashboard with the phone glued to my ear, not wanting to believe what I was seeing. It was some shit that I only rapped about.
“Where you at? Time is money!” Heart Throb, who was producing about half of my next album, yelled out.
“Yo, I just left the garage—”
“You just left? You need to get your ass up here in the studio.”
“Throb, they got Boss Man. I saw them, and they threw Boss Lady in the trunk. I saw it!”
“Who? What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Throb, they’re in a black sedan! They gotta be New Yorkers because they got New York plates. I’m following them. I’m about to call the police, so I gotta go.” I hung up and dialed 911 as I followed the black sedan. They were flying. I had to speed to keep up.
“Nine-one-one, is this an emergency?”
“Yes, it is! I just saw my boss get shoved into a black sedan and his wife thrown into the trunk. The kidnappers had guns!”
“Where are they now?”
“In the car! Didn’t you hear what I just said? I’m following them!”
“Ma’am, can you see the license plates?”
“Yes. They have New York tags, H47-2499.”
“I have that, ma’am. Thank you. Now, you said a black sedan?”
“Yes, a black sedan! I’m looking right at it. Hurry up! It looks like they are headed for the George Washington Bridge.”
“Ma’am, we have it from here. It is too dangerous for you to be following them. We will take it from here.”
“How can you take it from here? Where’s the police? I don’t see any police around, and yes, we’re headed for the bridge! If something happens to my bosses . . . I’ma make sure you lose this job. They record these calls,” I threatened the operator.
“Ma’am!”
I hung up and dialed 911 again. We were going over the George Washington Bridge heading for Jersey. Fuck the NYPD! I needed to get the Jersey police on the line. “Damn it!” I found myself experiencing road rage. A car jumped in front of me, and I dropped my cell phone. I was weaving in and out of traffic.
“Nine-one-one. Nine-one-one, hello.”
“Hello! Don’t hang up!” I yelled. “I dropped my phone! Please don’t hang up. Give me a minute. It’s an emergency. There has been a kidnapping, and they had guns.”
I was feeling all down the sides of the seats for my phone while trying to watch the road. I was way beyond frustrated. I slammed on the brakes, almost ramming into the car in front of me. The traffic slowed a little bit. I damn near did gymnastics reaching on the floor for my cell while driving.
“I got it! I got it! Are you still there?”
“Ma’am, I’m here.” This time, it was a man.
“My name is Lily Penzera, and my bosses where kidnapped by gunpoint. They are in a black sedan, license plate H47-2499 NY. We are on the George Washington Bridge. This is my second time calling.”
“How many suspects in the sedan, ma’am?”
“Three gunmen, my boss Kaylin Santos, and his wife Angel Santos.”
“Are you on the bridge going to New Jersey or into New York?”
“New Jersey. Hurry! I’m trying not to lose them.”
“You are not supposed to be following them, ma’am. We will take it from here.”
I lost it. “I am not fucking hanging up or stopping following until I see a police car. What if I lose them—”
“Ma’am. Please.”
“What if I lose them?”
“You are not supposed to be following them.”
“Fuck you!” I would die if I lost them. I had to keep up. I owed it to Bossman. He saved my life literally and to took me off of the streets. He was like a father to me. I could pull out my strap and shoot at them but what if they crashed? What if I fucked it up? It was a chance I had to take.
KAYLIN
I couldn’t believe what had just happened. There I was in the backseat with two guns on me, and Angel was back there in the trunk. I was kicking myself for not being strapped. Sometimes, I allowed this legit shit to take me off of my square. From listening and watching these lames, I thought their motive was robbery, but then I got the impression that they were going to kill me. But when the one named Herb was on the phone, I got the impression that he was talking to my brother, Kyron.
“Yo, it’s me, Herb. Yeah, I got him. We picked them up as they stepped into the garage. Yeah. I checked his waist. He didn’t have his hammer on him. His wife wouldn’t leave him. We had to bring her. Huh, I ain’t saying too much. Hello. Hello?”
“Nigga, he hung up on you because you was saying too much,” YMCMB cap said. His name was Knowledge.
My guess was that Kyron was mad because I checked him about raping Tasha and put him on blast in front of Mari, so now he was in retaliation mode. The nigga was officially crazy. I knew one thing for sure, I was taking a
burner from one of these muthafuckas. I wasn’t going out without taking at least one of these niggas with me.
“So where we going? Let me speak to my brother right quick. Get him back on the phone,” I said to Herb, just to see if I could get him to confirm my hunch.
“Too late for that.”
“Why? I need to talk to him.”
“Shut up, fool!” Knowledge said.
Damn. So Kyron was gettin’ grimy with it. Then my thoughts went to Red back there in the trunk. “Y’all can do whatever with me, but I’ma need y’all to let my wife go. I know my brother didn’t say anything about my wife.” Nobody responded to me.
After we came off the GW going into Jersey, we took the exit that said The Ridgefields and drove for miles until we came up on a graveyard. I’ll be damned. We pulled into the graveyard and drove around a circle and made a left. The car came to a stop. Herb, who was in the front, got out of the car. The two goons in the back with me made me get out with my hands behind my head. I seized the opportunity and swung around, trying to grab a burner. Both of the fools pounced on me as if I had stolen something.
“Chill! Chill!” Herb barked. “Keep him alive, niggas!”
They laid me face down on the ground and tied my wrists behind my back. I felt helpless. I looked up, and when the trunk came open, Angel popped up, swinging a crow bar. The dude slammed the trunk on her head. She screamed out. I was hoping that they hadn’t killed my baby.
“Fuckin’ bitch!” He spat.
They dragged me over to a grave. “You see what this tombstone says? ‘Betrayal is worse than slaughter.’ Think about that, son.”
I looked close, and it damn sure said those words. My brother actually went through the trouble of getting a headstone made. They pushed me down into the already-dug hole. I fell headfirst into a wooden coffin. I groaned. It was fucked up for me both physically and mentally. My own brother wanted to bury me alive.
“Kaylin! Where are you? Kaylin! Kaylin!” I heard Angel yelling out. They finally brought her over to the hole that I was in, and she was kicking and screaming. The angry nigga was trying to throw her in, but she wasn’t having it. Finally, he succeeded, and she came crashing on top of me, damn near crushing my ribs. There we were, looking at each other face-to-face.
