“Does he abuse you sexually?”
“No.” Julianne went completely still in his arms, barely breathing. “But he won’t let me have you either. He saw our kiss.”
Nicolai’s breath burned in his lungs, hot as fire, choking off his words. He struggled to breathe under the weight of his rage. How could that twisted bastard have justified doing this to his own daughter? For a kiss?
His thoughts turned to his own father. Until today, he’d thought a parent’s indifference was the worst suffering that could be thrust upon a child. No longer. He couldn’t believe what Julianne had suffered at her father’s sadistic hands.
Before he could speak again, she whispered, “I am not free, Nicolai.” Her voice echoed with defeat.
“You have to be strong, Julianne.”
“Nothing can save me.”
“With me, you can save yourself.”
“He will never let me go."
The helpless despair in the quiet delivery of those words was palpable. He had to find a way to pull the anger from beneath the obedience and channel it into the will to fight.
“So that’s it, Julianne? That’s all there is to you? A child who lets someone else define her. Nothing more than an obedient dog kneeling at her master’s feet.”
The anger stirred. “How dare you say that to me? You have no idea what I have endured. I’m a survivor, Nicolai.”
“Then survive.” He captured her wet cheeks between his palms. “Your past is gone, Julianne. You are my Beauty now. Find the strength to live your life as you want it and survive.”
That did it. The dam burst. All the pent up emotion crashed into him like a tsunami. She practically crawled over him, fisting the fabric of his jacket as if she was holding on for dear life. Her face pressed against his neck and tears spilled over the skin at his collar. Her pain so profound, he could actually feel it.
Her fragile body curled into a ball on his lap as she choked out the words, “Oh, God, Nicolai, he hurts me. How can he do that to me? He is supposed to love me. Why does he hurt me? Why?”
Nicolai wanted that answer as well.
“Promise me. If I give you my love, I will never be hurt like that again. Please, Nicolai. Swear it.”
His heart broke as he pledged a solemn vow to the trembling women in his arms. “I promise you, Beauty. I will never hurt you and I will never let anyone hurt you ever again.”
12
Pillow Talk
The shrill sound cut through the silent room like a siren.
Maybe it would go away if he pulled the pillow around his head. Nope. The down feathers were no match for the penetrating menace. Nicolai cracked open one eye.
5:00 a.m. For Christ’s sake. This cannot be good.
He groaned as he rolled a heavy arm to the nightstand and fumbled for the source of his pain. He’d only fallen asleep an hour ago. After managing to settle Julianne at home, he spent the entire night tossing on his bed trying to settle himself. They had few days before the Colonel returned to Paris and he couldn’t afford any mistakes. Still, he was vexed that Julianne wasn’t sleeping next to him.
Not that I'm sleeping at the moment. “Salut,” he barked into the phone.
“Did I wake you?”
Ahh. The one thing that could make him happy to be woken up at this ungodly hour. A sleepy grin slipped across his face. “No, Beauty. Everything okay?” He ran his hand over the duvet where she belonged, wrapped up warm and tight, and not just in the kinky way.
“I called to thank you.”
“For a fabulous orgasm. You’re welcome.”
“Oh that,” she teased, “It was quite nice. I suppose I do owe you something for that.”
The way she infused the word with such naughty suggestion made it impossible to miss the double entendre in her words. His impatience to have his sexy tease made him grumpy.
“So you woke me at 5:00 a.m. to talk about sex?”
“You said I didn’t wake you.”
“I lied.”
Silence came across the line. He waited without saying anything. He knew Julianne didn’t wake him in the middle of the night to talk about orgasms. Something much heavier was weighing on her mind.
She continued in a less confident voice, “You’ve done so much for me, Nicolai. I never thanked you properly.”
He could hear her struggling to verbalize her emotions. “And you don’t have to. The art world will thank me soon enough.”
“Yes, I do. There’s something I’ve wanted to say for a long time now, something you deserve to hear. I wanted to express it perfectly, so I wrote it down. Just listen, okay.”
She began to read with more emotion than he’d ever heard from her. “You see me, Nicolai, the real me. Even when I tried to hide, you found me. You open my eyes and challenge me to see the possibilities for my life. I am discovering myself with you. I am standing on the threshold of a future I never dared to dream of having because of you. Thank you for believing in me. Thank you for setting me free.” She sighed heavily. “That sounds so silly out loud, doesn’t it?”
“No, not silly at all,” he whispered, not wanting Julianne to hear the emotion in his voice. He couldn’t believe it as he scrubbed his palms over wet lashes. He hadn’t cried since he was a kid, but he couldn’t stop himself.
He knew sex, knew pleasure, but God Almighty, what he got from Julianne was something altogether different. A purpose. The chance to love a woman, not just a body, but a whole living, breathing woman. To cherish her. To protect her. The fact that Julianne put her faith in him, offered someone like him that chance, was an honor. An unbelievable, unspeakable honor.
One he never believed he was worthy of.
The intensity of his emotion forced a retreat to a more comfortable formality. “I have a very important question to ask you,” he declared, all business. “I know it’s soon, but I want you with me, Beauty, every minute of every day. Make me the happiest man in France and move in with me.”
Silence.
His fingers almost crushed the phone.
“That wasn’t a question,” she finally replied in a deadpan voice.
Oh, no, you little minx. I’m onto your game now.
He literally had to bite his knuckle to suppress his laughter. Irreverent humor from her, with him, was a shocker every time, but if she really wanted to tease...
Clearing his throat, he said, “Do you know what I’m thinking about right now?”
The tone of voice ended the repartee and introduced something very sexual to their exchange. He grinned when he heard Julianne draw a hard breath.
“The silk between your thighs. You felt so delicious when I touched you there. Do you remember my touch, Beauty?”
“I could never forget, Nicolai.”
The breathy response told him far more than what he asked.
“Do you know how much I long to taste you there?” His voice had grown thick with his own need.
*****
“Oh, yes.”
Julianne’s whole body shuddered as she said those two simple words. How many times had she fantasized about Nicolai taking her in that way? His ruby lips kissing her in secret places. She was brave enough to tease, but could she actually say the naughty words running though her mind?
Relax, Little Red, it’s just phone sex. The big bad wolf isn’t even in the room with you.
“I have dreams, Nicolai,” she offered in her best attempt at a sultry voice, “about you.”
“Do you?” he sang. “And what am I doing in your dreams, my Beauty? I wonder.”
Mon Dieu, the sound of Nicolai’s voice when he called her that, the way he infused so much sex into it, shredded every last bit of her good-girl reserve.
Talking dirty to Nicolai was as easy as swallowing honey.
“You make me come.” she nibbled her lip, “with your tongue.”
Now, that was sultry.
*****
Nicolai’s cock shot to attention.
This w
oman could not be real. He adored dirty talk and with a bold statement like that, obviously so did she. Demur and quiet, yes, but not shy.
He didn’t want shy, so he jumped right in. “Are you lying down?”
“Yes.”
“Naked?” He heard the shuffling of fabric.
“Yes, I’m naked. Now what?” she asked eagerly.
Time to slow her down, remind her who was in control, test her reaction to being dominated. He ran a hand through his tousled hair to shake off the last remnants of sleep.
Lowering his voice, sexy smooth with a hint of reprimand, he spoke slowly. “Tsk, tsk. So urgent. I see that I will have to teach you patience, my little hellion. Would you like to know how I will do that?”
Julianne responded with a magnificent, low, needy sound and he rewarded her with a heady suggestion.
“I will lay your naked body across my bed and tie you there. Imagine being that vulnerable to me. Imagine being displayed for my eyes. Whatever I offer, you will take.” He paused to let the image of her submission gel in her mind before continuing. “Would you like me to do that to you, Beauty? Do you trust me enough to be bound for my pleasure?”
He half expected the phone to burst into flame when he felt the flare of excitement jump through the line.
“Oh, yes, Nicolai. Yes. Yes,” she all but panted the words.
Bingo. Bondage lit up her board.
“I adore the sound of that word on your sweet lips,” he purred. “Put the phone near your ear and raise your arms above you head. Spread your legs.”
He heard Julianne move. Damn it to hell. He’d imagined her positioned like this one thousand times and now that she was, he couldn’t actually see it.
“Touch yourself and tell me. Are you wet for me, my Beauty?”
Soft breath, a whisper of a moan and then, “Yes, Nicolai. I’m wet for you.”
“Ahh, my sweet Julianne.” Her natural willingness to repeat his words was beyond sexy. “Now take your hand away and put it over your head.”
“Please, Nicolai,” she groaned in protest.
He was quick with the next command. “Do it, Beauty. Your orgasms belong to me now.”
A splendid, submissive whimper whisked through the line, into his ear and settled directly in his throbbing member. Knowing that Julianne obeyed and having her in his control formed a potent aphrodisiac. He eased back against the pillow and stroked himself.
“Very good, Beauty. We will be together soon. Very soon,” he purred in a voice guaranteed to tantalize. “Now lie back and listen to all of the pleasures your man has planned for you.”
Julianne moaned his name over and over while he placed image after erotic image into her mind. By the time he hung up the phone, they were both sated and starving for each other.
*****
“My, my, you are insatiable.”
Nicolai sounded like he'd swallowed gravel and Darion couldn't hold back the approving chuckle. “I’ll take it from that comment that everything went well with Julianne last night.”
“No, actually. The evening was nothing like I expected.”
Instead of the satisfied voice of a new lover, Darion heard Nicolai’s exhaustion and a tendril of worry crept into his mind. “How so?”
“For starters, the first thing she said to me was goodbye.”
“What? I find it impossible to believe that she would reject you.”
“She didn’t reject me, but I discovered her secret. It’s her father.”
“Her father?” Darion suspected he already knew, but asked anyway, “How is he relevant?”
“He beats her, Darion. That’s how.”
“My God.” Darion knew the Colonel was odd, but abusive? This was not the conversation he’d expected to have.
Nicolai’s voice filled with venom. “The heartless bastard whips her into submission. It’s been going on for years and it makes me sick.” Then he softened, became humble, almost disbelieving. “But now she’s mine, Darion. She put her faith and trust in me, and said she is mine.”
The words he’d wanted to hear from Nicolai for so long brought no joy. It was too quick. He hadn’t had enough time to…“Is she with you now?” Darion asked, his voice revealing nothing.
“No. The Colonel is away. Julianne will be safer if she sticks to her normal routine until I can talk to Xavier. The Colonel is a powerful man. Insane too. I need the Order to help me protect her.”
Darion knew a minefield when he stepped into one. He had to maneuver carefully. “You can’t speak to Xavier, Nico.”
“Why not?”
“I already have. I went to him about Julianne.”
“Thank you, Darion…”
“No, Nicolai, listen to me. Her father and Xavier share a history. They are enemies. You cannot afford to cross a man like Xavier Talbot. Not for a woman. Not for anything.” Darion hated even suggesting this, but it was the safest course. The powerful never leave their enemies standing and he had seen Xavier mercilessly dismantle the lives of his firsthand. He felt sorry for the girl, but quite frankly, he was more concerned with the man on the other end of the phone. “You have to give her up. If you don’t, you could be shut out.”
Nicolai exploded, “Je m’en fou.”
“You damn well should give a fuck,” Darion snapped before regaining his composure. “Consider my words very carefully, Nicolai. You know how far reaching the Order’s power is. It will destroy your life if you oppose Xavier.”
“You can’t be serious, Darion. After everything I just told you? After everything we’ve been through. How can you be so cold?”
The pain and betrayal in Nicolai’s voice made him relent. Leaving Julianne behind wasn’t their only option, but the risks were high. Darion chose his words with care. “I love you, Nico. I only want what’s best for you. We may have another option, but you must trust me to guide you through it.”
“I’m listening.”
“Xavier didn’t accept my request, but he didn’t reject it either. He’s considering it.”
“Then there’s hope.”
Darion paused, considering whether to tell Nicolai all he’d discovered about Julianne’s past, but decided against it. The situation was too volatile and silence gave him time to find the leverage to convince Xavier to accept Julianne into the Order.
“Yes, Nico. There is hope, but I ask that you keep your connection to the Order private for now.”
Nicolai groaned. “I already told her. I know it was wrong. She was scared. I had to convince her that she would be safe. I had no idea she might be rejected. I can’t believe it now.”
Darion stifled a curse. “I can’t make promises, Nicolai. You know that. If Xavier rejects her, there is nothing I can do. I will attempt to get a better understanding of his reasons, but the reasons might not change the outcome. For the time being, keep a low profile. Introduce Julianne only to those whom you trust the most. We don’t want Xavier taking notice. If he does, I can offer no assurance that I can protect you or her.”
“I can do that, Darion, but I’m warning you now. If the outcome doesn’t change, I will leave the Order.”
Darion issued his own warning. “Do not play with fire, Nicolai. You will get burned. Reject the Order and life as you know it is over.”
“I have no life without Julianne,” Nicolai answered and slammed down the phone.
*****
The bustling café was thick with the cloying smell of cigarette smoke and coffee.
Jacques walked in with his usual nonchalant swagger. Looking at him, no one would ever guess the state he was in. A woman across the room called his name as he passed, but his mind was intent on finding Nico. In a big fucking hurry. When they spoke on the phone earlier, he heard something alarming in his cousin’s voice.
And if Nicolai’s phone call hadn’t troubled him enough, Darion’s nearly threw him into a full-blown panic.
Why couldn’t anything be easy? Now that Nico had a chance for real love, he’d be damned
before he’d let anything screw it up, but he also believed Darion’s warnings.
Defy Xavier. Denounce the Order. Holy shit.
A chill raced up his spine. He understood the power of the membership, especially their leader. Opposing them was suicide, yet Nico seemed intent on doing it.
Not happening, cousin mine.
Since they were kids, Jacques played the role of big brother. Nico was the sensitive one and Jacques always felt the need to protect him. The last time he heard Nico so broken up over a woman, he was fifteen. Nico lost his virginity and fell in love, only to discover that the object of his heart’s desire was on daddy’s payroll. And undoubtedly in his bed. Alexi laughed at his son’s naiveté. Jacques tried in vain to shelter his younger cousin from the pain and loneliness of his upbringing as one after another experience hardened him.
When he spied Nico sitting in the corner hunched over a drink, he released the breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. As he eased into a chair, a waitress appeared from nowhere. She eye fucked him as she handed him a menu.
Jacques briskly ordered an espresso; Nico, another Bloody Mary. Nico spelled out most of what happened by the time the waitress came back to take their food order. Jacques ordered eggs; Nico, another Bloody Mary. Nico talked while Jacques ate. By the end of the meal, Nico was stone drunk and Jacques was just plain scared.
Nico was powerless against Xavier. Hell, they all were, with the possible exception of Darion and he wasn’t making promises. For the moment, there was no point in pushing. Nico was shut down tight. Damn, this would be so much easier if Nico was a sub. Doms are pigheaded and keeping this pig from doing something colossally stupid was, well…Jacques was good. He wasn't that good. He decided to step away and think before he made a mistake that could cost his cousin dearly.
Perhaps time would bring reason to the situation.
Perhaps Darion would.
Jacques put a protective arm around Nico’s shoulder as they left the café.
*****
“Good morning, Genevieve.”
Masterpiece (The Masters of The Order Book 1) Page 15
