by T. Isilwath
She sauntered back to his side, lifting her chin slightly and swinging her hips in satisfaction as he watched her turn his way. She gave him a smile and a wink, and she saw him blush but return her smile with pride in his eyes. Her flush of victory was short-lived, however, when her eyes fell on his wounds.
‘I’m good at posturing, but he took the real hits here.’
Dropping her bravado, she moved beside him and picked up one of the rags from the turtle shell bowl so she could wash the wound in his ribs again.
The water was still quite hot, but he didn’t seem to notice.
“Here,” she said gently, offering him the other wet rag to wash his hands.
“Thank you,” he replied, then she saw him bend his head towards her wound and sniff, his nostrils flaring as he inhaled the scent of her blood. His eyes darkened, and she knew he was upset that she had been injured.
“I’ll let you lick it later, okay?” she offered.
His head snapped up and he blinked at her in surprise.
“My wound. I’ll let you lick it. Okay?”
His eyes softened as he nodded and offered her a small smile. “Okay.” She smiled back and scratched his ear briefly before returning to the task of cleaning the wound in his ribs. There was a great deal of blood, but she noticed that the wounds were already scabbing over.
“You do heal quickly. The wounds you had when I found you didn’t heal like this,” she noted, rinsing out the bloody rag.
“Those arrows were poisoned. They interfered with my ability to heal.” She nodded that she understood and moved to wipe the shoulder wound.
“You don’t scar either.”
It was true. She could see no trace of any of the wounds he had sustained from his run-in with the exterminators.
“No. Most scars fade within a few weeks.”
She finished with his front, moved behind him to clean the wound on his back, and stopped, coming face to face with the wounds from his earlier whipping. Akihiro’s shoulders and the middle of his back were covered with raised marks, and the lashes stared out at her in red relief, and she had to quell her anger to keep from finding Hiroshi and beating him bloody with a stick.
Dipping the rag into the water, she gently washed his back from his shoulders on down. Towards the middle, on the left-hand side, was the entry wound for the arrow that had gone through his ribs. The puncture was smaller than the exit wound on his front, but she knew that it went all the way through his body.
She cleaned the deep wound carefully, making sure to wash out any debris that had made its way into the hole when Akihiro had landed on his back. Then she returned to washing the lashes, keeping her strokes light and gentle.
Like the wounds on his front, these injuries were already beginning to heal, but that fact didn’t keep her from wanting to rip Soka’s balls off. She was so angry that she was practically vibrating with rage. She lost count of the number of strike marks because there were lashes on top of lashes, and some were much deeper than others. All of them made her sick, not only because he’d been beaten, but because he’d been beaten for protecting her.
As soon as her anger began to wane, however, the tears rose instead. Akihiro sensed her distress because he turned one ear towards her and hunched his shoulders as she continued to wipe the wet rag over his ravaged skin. She trailed the cloth with her fingertips, lightly tracing the path of each lash wound.
“Joanna-sama?” he whispered uncertainly.
“Why do you let them beat you?” she asked softly as she stopped her tears.
He was silent for a few moments, then replied, “Because I needed the village’s protection, and also because I made Ichiro’s father a promise.”
“A promise?”
“I promised to protect the village and watch over his family after he was gone,” he explained. “If I broke that promise, I would dishonor myself.”
“I think you are too honorable for these people,” she stated matter-of-factly with a hint of anger in her voice.
“That may be so, but my honor is all that I have.”
“That isn’t true,” she argued gently. He turned his head to look at her and she gave him a tender smile. “You have me.”
His eyes widened, then softened, and a quiet smile graced his lips.
“Joanna-sama…”
Their moment was interrupted by the arrival of Ichiro along with Hiroshi and Hitaro. Ichiro and his eldest son passed them without so much as a second glance, but Hiroshi altered his course when he saw them and came their way.
Both she and Akihiro watched silently as the headman approached and made no move to bow or speak, although she noticed that Akihiro did lower his ears.
She, however, straightened her back slightly and stared the man directly in the eye. She was pleased when the man could not hold her gaze.
“Hanyou,” Hiroshi greeted, looking at her fox and refusing to meet her eyes. “I was told that I would find you here.”
“Yes, Hiroshi-dono?” Akihiro answered respectfully.
She stayed quiet and waited to see what the man would do. From her point of view, the guy looked uncomfortable, and that could only mean good things.
‘Feeling a little guilty, you arrogant prick?’
“It appears that you are recovering from your injuries,” the headman commented.
“Yes, Hiroshi-dono. I was not permanently harmed.”
‘Permanently harmed? No, he isn’t permanently harmed. He’s only been whipped for protecting me, publicly disgraced and humiliated in front of the whole village, and, don’t forget, shot twice with arrows, then blown halfway across the shrine by a Seal. No harm done there. Bastards,’ she fumed.
“I am glad to hear that,” Hiroshi answered. “I have heard tell of your diligent protection of the rice. We are very grateful.”
‘Did that jerk just thank him?’ she thought, shocked.
Her fox shrugged. “I wasn’t about to let some good-for-nothing thieves take the rice. We worked too hard to bring it in and prepare it. There was no way I was going to let them steal it. It’s almost tax time, and we have to pay the tax collector when he comes. We don’t have time to grow a new crop.”
“This is very true, and if we had not had you to put out the fires, we most certainly would have lost the entire harvest when the bandits set the storehouse on fire. We are in your debt, Hanyou.”
“You are?” she heard him repeat, a little bit of surprise in his voice.
Hiroshi cleared his throat nervously, and she bowed her head to keep from snickering.
“As such…” the man continued uncomfortably. “You may ask a boon of me in compensation for your service. My honor dictates that I owe you a reward for your loyalty and courage.”
‘Ah, it’s an honor thing. Gotta love the Japanese and their honor,’ she mused, hiding her smirk.
There was a long moment of silence, and she got the impression that Akihiro was seriously thinking about what Hiroshi had just told him. After a while she felt him stiffen and sit up straighter, and she wondered what he was up to.
“If that is so, then I have a request to make of you, Hiroshi-dono,” he finally said, looking up at the headman and meeting his gaze without wavering.
She saw the man swallow hard and felt a little thrill at his discomfort.
“What is it you would ask of me, Hanyou?”
“Firstly, my name is Akihiro, Hiroshi-dono. I wish for you to call me by my true name, not by my parentage.”
The man blinked, and she had to stop herself from jumping up and doing a victory dance.
‘You go boy! You tell him!’ she silently cheered.
“As… as you wish Han… Akihiro. From now on, you will be called by your true name,” Hiroshi agreed hesitantly.
“Also. No one is to touch Joanna-sama. She is my vixen, and I won’t tolerate anyone dishonoring her or causing her trouble. If I hear of anyone trying to hurt her or see anyone bothering her, I will protect her. This especially applies to S
oka and his followers. Next time a broken arm won’t be the only injuries.” The headman looked at her, and she saw his eyes widen at the sight of her.
No doubt he was shocked by the blood on her face, and she wondered why he hadn’t noticed it before.
‘Just dismissed me as a useless woman, huh?’
She gave him a smile that was just a touch feral, and she saw him shudder.
“I give you my word that no one will harm her,” Hiroshi promised.
Akihiro nodded. “Thank you, Hiroshi-dono. And lastly… today was the last day I submit to you. I will never allow you to beat me again.” The two men regarded each other, and Joanna got the distinct impression that Hiroshi was truly seeing Akihiro for the first time. There was a silent battle of wills until the headman yielded by dropping his eyes.
“As you wish,” he agreed, giving Akihiro a short nod.
This time she couldn’t contain her happiness, and she laughed as they both thanked Hiroshi at the same time.
“I must now see to my men and see how those who were injured are doing,” the headman said, giving himself an excuse to leave them.
Akihiro bowed his head. “Of course, Hiroshi-dono. Thank you for your kindness and consideration.”
The headman bowed slightly and turned in the direction of a group of his fighters, moving to join them as they talked about the battle and made their way out of sight. As soon as he was gone, she threw her arms around Akihiro’s shoulders and gave him a big hug, kissing him on the cheek.
“Joanna-sama? What was that for?” he asked her, blushing and rubbing his check where her lips had touched it.
She shrugged, giddily happy in spite of everything. “Nothing. I just think you’re wonderful.”
He gave her a nervous, self-conscious smile that she returned wholeheartedly, then she hugged him again, doing her best to avoid putting pressure on his wounds. She felt his hands come up to grasp hers and hold them against his chest.
‘Way to go, Aki! I’m so proud of you!’
Chapter Twenty-One
It was hard to hold the glucometer steady with Akihiro peering over her shoulder, his body practically vibrating with tension, but she knew from experience that trying to get him to move took more energy than she wanted to expend. With the way her diabetes was slowly spiraling out of control, he was becoming more agitated and overprotective of her. He’d been bad enough before, but now that he could smell when her sugars were too high before she even began to feel the effects of the hyperglycemia, he was that much worse.
She used the lancet to pierce the meat of her palm and dipped the test strip into the tiny red bubble. Then she waited as the meter counted down in its LCD panel and displayed her blood sugar level. Her eyes widened slightly when it registered 378. It was no wonder she was getting so tired. Behind her, Akihiro gasped in horror.
“It’s too high. I knew it!” he blurted. “It’s too high again.”
“I know.”
He was moving immediately; slipping into their room through the open door to stoke the fire and crush a handful of Oshou Seigo’s medicine into a teapot of water. Within minutes he was urgently pressing a steaming cup of the concoction into her hands. She accepted the medicine, but she had little hope of it helping. Over the course of the past two weeks, the herbal tonic’s effectiveness had been waning, and she feared that it would soon become useless.
She knew it wasn’t the medicine itself, nor was it that her body was becoming accustomed to the herbs. It was the fact that what few islet cells she did have to make insulin were wearing out, and her body had no working cells for the tonic to stimulate. No amount of medicine could ever make up for the fact that all of her insulin-making pancreatic cells were dying off.
She had hoped to last about six weeks without insulin, but it was becoming clear that she would not have that much time. The last two days especially had seen a sharp increase in her blood sugar, and the medicine only brought it down into the upper one-hundreds if she was lucky. She tried to bring it down through physical exercise, but the fatigue she was feeling made her stop.
All too soon things would hit critical mass, and she would most likely go into diabetic ketoacidosis, where her blood sugar would continue to rise out of control and ketones would run rampant. She would become weaker and weaker until she lost consciousness and eventually slipped into a coma.
‘Maybe there’s another way,’ she thought with despair, then took a deep breath and stamped down her panic. ‘Looks like you’re going to get your wish Jo-Jo. Michael was wrong. It’s not okay, but I have to do what must be done.’
She comforted herself with the knowledge that her prayer on the beach had been answered. Her era would be safe, but she would die instead. It was a price she had been willing to pay then, and she was still willing to pay it now. For a while she had hoped that she would be spared that fate, but it looked like it was not to be.
‘It’s okay. It’s better this way.’
“I know it’s early, but I can’t wait any longer,” Akihiro announced, breaking her out of her thoughts. “I’ll leave to hunt the maitake in the morning. If I wait much longer, not even the mushroom may be able to help you.” His voice was desperate, and she could see the panic hiding behind his eyes.
‘Oh, Aki. This is going to be so hard for you,’ she realized sadly.
“I will be gone three days. Four at most. I must go deep into the mountains; probably to places where the human mushroom harvesters cannot go.
You will be safe here. Ichiro and his family will take care of you, and there is enough of Oshou Seigo’s medicine to last you several days,” he explained.
She nodded but said nothing. She already knew that she was going to go blind at the very least, even if Akihiro’s magic mushroom did work, because the floaters in her eyes were increasing. Plus she was getting weaker and soon she might not have the strength to perform her daily chores. She’d already stopped hunting and doing the strenuous things like tanning and herb gathering, but simpler tasks like sewing and cooking were becoming more difficult.
The very fact that they hadn’t taken their relationship to the next level was heavily based on her waning strength, because Akihiro feared that mating would be too much of a strain on her already weakened body. (Trust her fox to choose to stay a virgin rather than take the risk that sex might hurt her.) Her appetite was failing as well, and she didn’t eat much, but she was always thirsty.
Akihiro had faith in the healing power of the mushroom, but deep inside she was wondering if she shouldn’t take the opportunity she was being given to slip away while she still had the strength to do so. Part of her didn’t want to die alone, but more of her didn’t want to put Akihiro through the agony of watching her waste away.
She’d been thinking about it more and more, especially the last two days because she realized what was happening even if Akihiro didn’t. His trip provided her with the perfect chance to get away if she decided that was what she wanted to do. The prospect of leaving to die alone in the forest was frightening, but the last thing she wanted was for Akihiro to witness the true horrors of the disease she suffered. Knowing what she knew about his mother’s slow death, she didn’t want to put him through such a terrible experience again, and she would rather go off to sing her Death Song alone, than have her last memory of him be his weeping, shattered face as he begged her not to die. Or worse, as he waited for her death with a knife in his hand, poised to plunge it into his own chest the moment she drew her last breath.
She didn’t know if she could go to the next world in peace if she knew he was right there planning his own death or pleading with her to fight for her life.
She didn’t want to be sad when she died. She wanted to feel joy in knowing that she was going to see her family again, safe in the knowledge that she would be reunited with all the people that she loved on the Other Side. Death was a time of singing, not mourning, and as much as she knew her leaving would hurt her fox, she was starting to believe that it was t
he best thing to do.
That and she knew the death that awaited her. She had seen many educational videos and read many informational pamphlets on the dangers of diabetic ketoacidosis. Her body would react to the lack of insulin by demanding more glucose that it couldn’t use, the balance between insulin and the counter-regulatory hormones that controlled insulin production and usage would be thrown out of whack, “starvation” mechanisms would be triggered and her body would slowly begin to eat itself for its own fuel-all for naught because there would be no insulin to take the glucose to the cells that needed it. It was a horrible way to die and, no matter how much she prepared herself for it, she knew it was going to be ugly.
‘Maybe I can ask Suzuka to mix me a poison. One that is fast and painless.’ The Japanese had turned suicide into an art form, and she was certain that the young priestess, or her brother, would know a fatal recipe or two. ‘It would be better than the lingering death that waits for me, but I’d have to do it while Aki is away. He’d never let me go through with it if he was here.’
Her fox was clearly agitated, and she saw him look out at the early afternoon sunlight filtering through the shrine gardens from where they sat together on the long engawa.
“Maybe I’ll leave today. There is still plenty of light. I could be to the mountains before dark if I left soon,” he commented, his face somber.
She followed his gaze and took a deep breath. If he left, she’d have a two day head start at the very least, three if she headed out today, but it was unlikely that she could be ready that quickly.
‘The earliest I could leave would be in the morning.’
“I think that would be a good idea,” she said, offering him a smile that she hoped was reassuring. “The sooner you go, the sooner you can get back.” He nodded once, and he must have been too preoccupied to notice the tremor in her voice. “I will speak with Ichiro and tell him my plans. I’ll leave shortly thereafter. Hopefully, the medicine will be working by the time I go. I would feel much better about leaving if your blood number is down.”
