Paxton wanted to roll his eyes at his mother’s praise. “I admit that I was cruel to her. I wasn’t thinking clearly at the time. I had thought, for a fleeting moment, that she could have planned for us to be caught in a compromising situation. I allowed my anger to get the better of me at the thought of her perfidy, for which I’m remorseful.”
“You thought she planned to be found unclothed with you in bed by her own father?” Mother’s voice rose a few octaves. “Oh, Paxton, please tell me you didn’t accuse her of such shameful trickery.”
“Actually, I did. I realize I attacked her thus because I knew not what to do. The situation called for action, Mother, so I acted.”
“You should have fallen down on bended knee and proposed, not abused her with accusations you knew were false. Try to look at this situation through Lady Evelyn’s eyes. It was, after all, her father who walked in. The man had wished you dead when he was here. He couldn’t understand how anyone could be so heartless. Those were his words.
“I believe Evelyn loves you, my dear, and I think you feel the same or else you wouldn’t be here now, dwelling on what occurred between you.” Veronica stood and kissed the top of his bent head. “I will go now and let you decide what is right. I know in my heart you will make the appropriate decision.” She turned to leave and then turned back. “I know I may be hard on you at times, but know this: you have never disappointed me.” Then she closed the door behind her.
Paxton must have sat in the same position for hours trying to decide what to do. A marriage proposal was far from his mind, but an apology was not. After a few days of hard drinking and far too much deliberating in his room, he finally garnered the courage.
***
After his morning ablutions, Paxton strolled out of the house to go in search of Eve. He knew she probably hated him, but he had decided that he was going to apologize regardless. He felt better this morning, refreshed, his mind somehow clearer. Indeed, he couldn’t wait to see her. He couldn’t wait to make her understand how sorry he was. He was well aware that he may have to climb up the side of her house to gain an audience with her, but he was determined to see her at any cost. He wanted to avoid her parents altogether, and yet he knew he owed them apologies as well.
He thought back on breakfast this morning, his mother sitting across from him eating a hot buttered scone and talking to him about Bath and other vacation spots she had recently visited. She hadn’t mentioned Eve or her family today, for which he was grateful.
Before he left, she informed him of her plans to visit Lydia, who had decided she would stay with Rebecca and her husband Lord Arlington for a while. His mother told him she thought he’d appreciate the time alone. He was aware that what his mother really wanted was for him to be lonely in the hopes that he’d contemplate Eve as a potential spouse.
Whenever he looked out his bedroom window at Hyde Park, he recalled the many times he saw Eve there, usually on the arm of the Marquis of Bakersfield. He knew Brandon liked Eve and assumed they would continue to court. The thought didn’t sit well with him, but he held no claim on her. At least he told himself he didn’t, but a part of him shouted that she was his and his alone. He never realized how possessive he was before now. Well, my possessiveness is neither here nor there. Eve is free to do with her life what she wishes, just as I am.
“So what do I wish to do with my life?” Paxton asked himself aloud. No response was forthcoming. First, he’d apologize, he told himself, and then, hopefully, everything else would fall into its proper place and they could be friends again. After walking part of the way to her address, he hailed a hack. He was anxious to arrive so he could apologize. At least this is what he told himself when he told his driver to move faster.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Paxton stormed into Cole’s library and immediately made his way to the sideboard where he loudly poured himself a brandy, slamming decanters and glasses around in a frenzied manner. After gulping down the contents, he poured another, slammed the crystal decanter back down again, and threw himself into a leather chair across from the intricately carved desk.
“Please come in and have a drink,” Cole said sarcastically as he rolled a long cigar between his thumb and fingers. “Would you like a cigar?”
“No.” Paxton looked around for somewhere to put his feet, and spotting a hassock across the room, he jumped up, grabbed it, dropped it in front of the place he had been sitting, and threw himself back into the chair.
“Comfortable?” Cole questioned sardonically.
“She’s gone!” Paxton took another drink and then set the crystal snifter down on a small end table nearby.
Cole knew who she was and nodded. “What are you going to do about it?”
Paxton looked at him as if he were daft. “Do? Nothing. I told you. She’s gone.”
“Bloody hell, Paxton. She hasn’t left England… Or has she?”
“No. She went with her family to their country home in Kent.” Paxton sighed loudly.
“Not too far a journey.” Cole blew out his cigar smoke and watched it swirl in the air around him.
“I’m not going to chase after her, Cole. She obviously left to get away from me. I’m the last person she wants to see.”
“So you came here to whine about the predicament in which you find yourself. Wonderful. This should make for a pleasant afternoon.” Cole laughed and rang the bell for a servant.
“I’m glad you find this entertaining.”
“I most definitely do.” He quieted as a petite young brunette entered.
“You rang, milord?” She looked up at her employer and batted her dark eyelashes, sweeping them over her chocolate colored eyes.
“Indeed I did, Joy. Please bring us some sandwiches.”
“Will that be all, milord?” She smiled at him teasingly.
“For now.” He grinned as she curtsied and left the room.
“I’m not hungry,” Paxton said sternly.
“How long has it been since you ate?”
“In case you forgot, my mother is in town. I don’t need another.”
“Please try to refrain from dramatics.” Cole rolled his eyes. “As fast as you’re drinking my smuggled French brandy, I’d say you need something with substance in your stomach.”
Paxton said nothing. Cole was right. He couldn’t seem to drum up any appetite this morning, and he couldn’t remember when he ate last but knew a couple of days had passed. “What kind of name is Joy?”
“She claims it’s the name her parents gave her because that is how they felt about her birth. It’s fitting in other ways as well.”
“Still bedding all your servants?”
“Why do you think the pretty ladies come to me for employment?” Cole bragged, and he laughed at his own jest. “Back to the matter at hand. Kent isn’t far, Paxton. Why don’t you go to her? Has it occurred to you that Lady Evelyn may not be running from you but from shame?”
“She enjoyed it as much as I did!” Paxton said defensively.
“I’m not saying she didn’t. All I’m saying is she was a virgin and now she’s not. For a young girl without a proposal of marriage, the situation is daunting. How would you feel if your entire life you were told you could only bed the person you’re going to marry and have to wait until after the vows have been spoken to do so. I daresay men would not be as successful as women when it comes to abstinence. Lady Evelyn came to London for her first Season, likely with her head full of visions of happily-ever-after; and then she finds you, a man who can’t fathom the idea of marriage. Yet, despite this, she can’t help how she feels and so she disregards the warnings she’d been given throughout her life and gives into her baser urges, all for you. I think it very courageous for a young lady to disregard a lifetime of dire warnings, don’t you? To top it off, her father catches her in the act of passi
on. Then, to make matters even worse, you blame her for the situation and reinsert your feelings on matrimony. I don’t blame the chit for leaving. I’m only surprised she didn’t run further than Kent.”
“Are you trying to make me feel worse?”
“No. I’m only trying to make you see this from her perspective.”
“You’re now the local expert on virgins?” Paxton said, waving his hand through the air. “Please, I don’t want to know how that came about.”
Cole grinned. “Although I proudly admit that I do have a way with the ladies, not all of it revolves around the physical. When it comes to my prowess, some of my charm actually comes from understanding their thoughts and feelings. I listen to them. It’s a novel concept, but perhaps you should try it.”
The sandwiches arrived. “Thank God. Now you can eat. If I have to listen to you spout any more drivel about feelings, I’m leaving.” Paxton took one of the sandwiches off the tray Joy was holding.
“Thank you, Joy. That’ll be all.” Cole winked at her before she sashayed out with a giggle.
“So, great knower of women, are you saying Eve left because she was embarrassed?”
“Most definitely her embarrassment played a part. But more than likely, she believes her chances of finding the right suitor are nil. And of course, there is the matter of her dislike toward you. I’m sure she thinks you despise her as well.”
“I don’t despise her!” Paxton adamantly stated as he frowned at his friend.
“I was telling you how she likely perceives things. I know you’re in love with her. You only refuse to see it.” Cole appeared to be waiting for Paxton’s loud denial but it never came, and so he continued to eat, seemingly waiting for Paxton to talk.
It took ten minutes before Paxton asked, “How do you know if you’re in love?”
“I can’t say I’ve ever experienced the sensation, but I’ve been told that you will know when you find you can’t live without the other person.”
Paxton stood.
“Hey, where are you going?” Cole questioned.
“To Kent.” Paxton smiled, grabbed another sandwich, and rushed out the door.
***
Paxton had plenty of time to think on the road to Kent as he travelled alone on his sleek gray. He didn’t know when it happened, but at some point, he had fallen in love with Lady Evelyn Manning. Lord knew he hadn’t meant for it to happen, but it did, and now he was going to do something about it.
First, he had to apologize, which after the things he said to her, wasn’t going to be easy. He put his hand over his vest pocket to assure himself that the ring was still there, his grandmother’s ring that, after he informed his mother of his plans, she had happily handed to him. He had never seen his family so happy. His mother started crying when he told her he planned to marry Evelyn. His sister Lydia insisted she knew Eve was the one for him, and his cousin Rebecca claimed they were perfect for each other. He couldn’t have been happier when he left the house, but now he feared Eve’s response to his suddenly enlightened view on marriage.
Again, Cole had been right, for Paxton found he did not want to live without Eve by his side. He had found his heart and felt love in her embrace. She was honest and good, and amazingly enough, he found he trusted her completely. He loved her and he found he could not imagine himself with another. He prayed she’d still have him.
In his mind’s eye, he pictured Eve in Kent and how his apology would go. She would be sitting on a covered porch in a wicker chair and slowly rocking back and forth. Her red hair would be piled artistically on her head, small escaped tendrils blowing in the breeze and brushing against her slim neck. She would be wearing her pale yellow dress with blue thread etched into it in intricate patterns, the blue bringing out the striking brightness of her seductive eyes. He pictured her turning her head to ignore his approach, and then he’d apologize. And in response, she’d happily throw herself into his arms. He’d present her with the ring and she would be so overjoyed that tears would come to her eyes. Then he’d snatch her away and run off into the woods with her so they could tear off each other’s clothing and make mad passionate love in the grass. After, they would talk and laugh and make plans for their future.
A bird flew overhead bringing him out of his reverie. He increased pressure on his horse’s flanks and sped up his pace, impatient to see Eve. When the Stonehaven home came into view, he slowed his mount to a walk. His mouth went dry and he was suddenly very nervous. The sound of insects buzzing around him seemed to intensify. The typical English country house loomed in front of him, two stories of stone covered with climbing vines and a multitude of windows. Regaining his courage, he nudged his horse into a run.
***
Eve squatted in front of the flowerbed along the side of the front steps. She pulled some weeds from around the butterfly bushes and wiped her hands on the dirty apron around her waist. The bushes Paxton sent had arrived two days ago and she told the gardeners to leave them. It had taken her this long before she could even look at them. They reminded her of the love she had found and quickly lost and the sight of them brought tears to her eyes. She was now glad that she planted them though, for it would have been sad to let them die just because Paxton sent them to her.
Her hair kept falling into her eyes and she kept pushing it away, knowing she probably left a smudge mark of dirt along her cheek. She loved to work in the gardens, loved to spend time in the fresh air. The work also helped to take her mind off Paxton, which wasn’t an easy thing to do of late.
Her family was being completely supportive about her decision to put off marriage for a while. She never received a lecture for what happened during her abduction, and she assumed her parents thought she had suffered enough humiliation. It was days before she would come out of her room, and that was only because of the endless coaxing done by Cassie. Her sister had been sympathetic and completely understanding about what Eve went through. As if she conjured her up, Eve looked up to see Cassandra hovering above her on the steps.
“I will never understand how you can dig around in the dirt like you do.” Cassie smiled, leaning over the stone railing.
Eve arched her back, trying to remove the kinks. “It makes me happy to see seedlings blossom into beautiful flowers. Besides, gardening gives me something to do.”
“True.” Eve knew Cassie couldn’t imagine dirtying herself over pretty flowers. “You better not let Mother see you without your gloves.”
Eve looked down at her dirty hands and grimaced. “I won’t. Where are you off to?”
Cassie held up her book of favorite Shakespeare sonnets. “To sit under the tree and read.”
Eve looked at the towering birch tree where her sister often read.
“Care to join me?” Cassie asked.
“No thanks. I want to pull the rest of the weeds.”
Eve knew Cassie was about to tell her what she always told her when Eve was covered in dirt, which was that they had plenty of gardeners to do such a task, but her wise sister knew the unnecessary reminder wouldn’t stop Eve from digging. “Suit yourself,” Cassie replied. “You know where I’ll be.” She continued down the steps. “By the by, you have dirt all over your face.”
“I assumed I did. I have to keep batting my hair out of my face. Is it really bad?”
“Even a little dirt is too much dirt, if you ask me.”
Eve laughed and shrugged her shoulders. “It isn’t permanent. Dirt does wash off, Cassandra.”
“True.” Cassie continued on her way as Eve bent back down to finish her gardening.
It was an unseasonably warm day, and bent over working in the flowerbed, the heat was stifling. She stood, wiping the sweat from her brow and knowing she probably smeared more dirt on her face. She was surprised to see a rider approaching quickly in the distance.
“Are y
ou expecting company?” Eve hollered to Cassie, who was now seated beneath the nearby tree.
Cassie looked down the road leading to the house at the lone rider. “No. Whoever it is seems to be in an awful hurry.”
Eve brushed her hands off on her apron.
“You should hustle and change. Mother will faint if you greet a visitor in such disarray.”
Eve didn’t budge. “I’m not finished,” she hollered back, refusing to change when they weren’t expecting anyone. She looked down at her appearance, taking in her worn shoes and threadbare dress. The items she wore were old, perfect for gardening. Her white apron was recently new but was now covered with dirt. Her hair still kept flying around her in a maddening manner. She hoped enough of her red hair had fallen to hide some of the dirt on her face.
The rider jumped off his horse thirty yards away and immediately walked toward her. The sun was high and she couldn’t make out his features because of the brightness. She put a hand up to block the blinding rays. When the visitor stood a few yards in front of her, she backed up as if she had been dealt a physical blow.
Sensing something wrong, Cassie hurriedly approached. “Is everything all right, Eve?”
“I need to speak with your sister,” Paxton exclaimed, his gaze never leaving Eve.
***
Eve stood trembling in front of him and covered in dirt. This was not the way Paxton had envisioned her only mere moments ago, and yet, she was somehow even more beautiful with her hair in disarray, her clothing too small, and dirt on her face. She looked like an adorable street urchin.
Cassie looked at her sister. “Eve?”
“Please go inside, Cassie.” Eve looked down at the ground to blink away her tears, which tore at Paxton’s heart; but when she looked back up at him, he could see the angry defiance in her eyes. “We, Lord Devonhurst, have nothing more to say to each other. I wish for you to leave.”
“I know you’re angry. I came to apologize, love. I’m so sorry for the pain I’ve caused you.” When she turned her back on him, he sighed. He knew this was going to be difficult. “Please,” he pleaded. “I only ask that you hear what I have to say. Isn’t there somewhere we can sit?”
The Perfect Suitor (Bewildering Love Series) Page 20
