“Well that’s my cue to split. If you or Abby needs anything, give me a call?”
“We will bro, thanks for coming. I know it wasn’t easy for you to tell her that. You’ve always looked out for her and I thank you for that. I can’t always be around so it helps to know she has you.”
“Always. I have made so many mistakes with her. I hope I get the chance to right my wrongs.”
“As I said, just give her some time.”
“I’ll give her as much time as she needs. Just keep an eye on her for me? You know she is gonna start blaming herself for this.”
“Why’s that?”
“She wouldn’t give him the one thing that he could get from most other women with a pulse. Why do you think he chose a club whore? He wasn’t looking to settle, just a quick fuck. Karma didn’t like that plan though.” Corey shook his head and I patted his back. “If you decide to go and kill him, call me and I will be an alibi.” I walked out the front door and headed for my car. I needed to work out what I was gonna do now. I couldn’t go to work with him because I would rather see him shot then help to keep his ass out of trouble and now that he knew I had ratted him out, he was gonna have it out for me. I would talk to the Captain tomorrow and see if he can’t reassign me or something. Anything would be better than putting up with him. Getting in my car, I started the engine and pulled out of the driveway. Right now, I really hated that I lived on the other side of town. It seemed so far away from where I needed to be. I wasn’t about to crowd her though. Abby would come and find me when she was ready. Until then, I would plot all the different ways I could kill Xavier and make it look like a workplace accident.
CHAPTER FOUR
Abby
I don’t know how long it was after Toby left that I had fallen asleep but I woke up to a silent house. Had Corey gone out? Sitting up, seeing tissues scattered everywhere, I let out a breath as exhaustion washed over me. I had called Hailee and Katy after locking myself in my room and just cried. Something I fucking hated doing. I hated showing my weakness over a guy but six months of lies and now broken trust. This was why I let so few in and even then, I kept them at arm’s length. Despite them all having been there when I was at my lowest, I never wanted to feel that vulnerable again. Coming back from what Dylan had done was not easy and it was something that I lived with still. I knew I would have to take something tonight in the hope of stopping the nightmares that I knew were coming if I tried to sleep again.
Checking my phone and seeing “call us if you need us” messages from Katy and Hailee, I cleared the missed calls from Xavier and blocked his number. I quickly texted the girls telling them to call Corey if they needed to reach me because I was turning my phone off, I held the button down on the side and waited for it to go black before setting it back down on my bedside table. I pulled the covers off me and stood up. Opening my bedroom door, expecting to see darkness, I saw the glow of the TV coming from the living room. I stopped in the doorway and watched the screen for a minute to try and see what he was watching. It didn't take me long to pick that it was Transformers. The thing about all of these boys, the one thing they wouldn't want you to know, is that they were all nerds. You had Jack and Sally, Hailee and Raven. Then there was Psycho and Dr J, Chaos and Katy. JD was a massive Batman geek and there was my bubba. The transformers nerd. He had an exact replica of Bumblebee sitting out in the garage and would take it out on rare occasions. I wasn't allowed anywhere near it because according to him I was a speed demon and he didn't trust me not to crash it. I could never promise him that so his keys stayed hidden.
I could feel myself getting hit with another wave of emotions and took a shaky breath as I tried to get a grip on them. I must not have been as quiet as I thought I was because Corey was looking up at me.
“Come here.” He held an arm out for me and I moved to sit down on the couch beside him. Curling into his side, I rest my head on his shoulder as his arm wrapped around me. “You know you have hitmen on-call, right? We can make this problem go away.” I couldn’t help but laugh despite the tears that had started again. Why did this have to suck so badly?
“Thanks, but your so called hitman is out of action, remember?”
“You say that like we don't have more of them. Hell even Tucker or Katy could do it and make it look like an accident.” Wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, I nodded.
“That’s true. I didn't think of that.” I would never ask Katy to do that. Tucker maybe, but not my girl. She was a mom now and I know she would kick my ass for keeping her out of it but Mia needed her more. I'm almost positive that any of the guys would gladly learn how to remove someone’s organs from their body. It's what our family did for each other. I started blinking back more tears just at the thought. Why the fuck was I even in this mess? Was it my fault that Xavier cheated on me? Should I have been the one satisfying his needs? If I had of let him fuck me, would he have gone out and got it somewhere else? Or was it just in his nature?
“Hey, stop. I know what you are thinking. You know we all love you and are in your corner. This isn't your fault, you’ve done nothing wrong!”
“Didn't I?” He pulled back a little to see my face and raised a brow at me. I let out a sigh. “If he had of been getting sex from me, he wouldn't have needed to go elsewhere.” I closed my eyes and went to pull away but his arm only tightened around me.
“Abigail Leigh Marshall, if you think that again, so help me God, Katy and Hailee will be over her faster than you can blink to slap that thought out of your head.” I narrowed my eyes at him but he continued. “In no way is this your fault. If you weren't ready then you shouldn't force yourself to be just to keep an asshole like that around. How do you know that if you had of fucked him, he wouldn't have done it? You don't. You could have forced yourself to be ready and he would have gone off and got it elsewhere anyway then he would have been no better than Dylan. NEVER cut yourself to fit someone else's idea of perfection because you and I both know that there is someone out there, hating himself for hurting you by telling you about Xavier, who thinks you are perfect the way you are.”
I went to open my mouth to argue with him but the truth was I couldn't. He was right. Why should I have to change who I am and how I feel to suit someone who may never have been happy. I would still be sitting here in the same position or worse. He could have knocked me up then left me to raise his spawn all on my own. I wasn't psycho enough to stalk him or force him to stay where he didn't want to be. “Fuck I hate when you are right!” I crossed my arms over my chest with a huff.
“Someone had to have the brains in this family.” I elbowed him hard in the side and he just laughed, wrapping his arm around my neck and pulling me into a headlock before messing up my hair. I punched his thigh and pushed him away. “Look, I know you aren't ready to even think about that yet and he knows it too but just don't let one bad apple ruin the bunch. Toby is a good guy and when you are ready, he will be waiting. Just don't close yourself off?” I rest my head back against his shoulder and just let his words sink in. Why did he have to make so much sense?
CHAPTER FIVE
Tobias
When I first signed up to be a cop, the last place I thought I would end up was back in my hometown. I thought for sure that I would be happier in Vegas or move somewhere that had more excitement. I didn’t actually take into consideration all the shit that Corey and the boys got into. After I finished and went into undercover work, I did a short stint in Boston before coming back home. Undercover wasn’t really needed here, but that left it open for more field work. As I walked into the station, that’s where I hoped I was going. Dumping my stuff at my desk, I noticed that the Captain’s door was shut. Strange because it was never shut. Even when he was yelling at someone or screaming down the phone, he would always have that door open. I made myself a coffee and was about to sit down when the door opened. I raised a brow as Xavier walked out the door with a smug grin on his face. I narrowed my eyes at him. “Smith. My office, now!
” Asshole! Walking into the Captain’s office, I closed the door behind me. I wasn’t about to give him the satisfaction of hearing our conversation.
“You called?”
“What’s this I hear about you spending time with known club members?”
“Are you kidding me with this?” He gave me an unimpressed look. “I was seeing a friend whose sister was just fucked over by the dickhead you just had in here. He cheated on her and got another woman pregnant. I would put money on him trying to get me out of the way so he can try and suck back up to her because I went round last night and told her. Corey has been my best friend since before I joined the force, so just because he is affiliated with a club, that isn’t going to change.”
“I think you should take a leave of absence.”
“I’m sorry, what?”
“Take some time off. Someone needs to get his head out of his ass and I am pretty sure I know who. I am gonna send him on an assignment as far away from here as I can get him.”
“Please do or you may have a biker on your doorstep taking matters into his own hands.”
“Noted.”
“Before I go though, can I talk to you real quick?”
“Yeah, sure. What’s up?”
“When I come back from my leave, I want to give up undercover jobs. I can’t do it anymore. I want to be here. Maybe start working on that task force that we have talked about.” He was quiet for a few minutes as he watched me.
“Okay. I will start up the hunt for your team. Talk to the guys in the club and see if they will help you out. You deserve this shot but just know, you fuck up and you will be riding the desk for the rest of your career.”
“Fair call.” He lent forward and bent over his laptop. I stood up and walked out of his office. I sat down behind my desk and drank my coffee. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing that he had any effect on me because the truth was, he didn’t. I am sure the Captain was just putting me on leave so that I didn’t kill him. I wasn’t about to complain really. Meant that I could go and spend time with Corey and Abby, if she wanted to see me. I took a deep breath and thought about my own sister. I should really go and see her at her resting place too while I was at it. It had been a while.
Unlike Abby and her friends, my sister Kailey wasn’t lucky enough to keep out away from the drug scene. While I was away, she fell in with the wrong crowd and started doing drugs. It started off with pot, but then the more she was exposed to, the worse it got. The last time I had seen her, she had overdosed. We only just got her stable and to the hospital or we would have lost her. I was pissed off when I found out that she was five months’ pregnant and doing that shit. I wanted to cut her out of my life, but Kailey had begged me to give her another chance. Being the sucker that I was, I did. One night, I had gotten a phone call from an on duty officer telling me they had just taken her to the hospital again. She was found bleeding with a needle sticking in her arm. They think that she had been raped as well but she couldn’t remember the night so they didn’t know if it was consensual sex or not. The worst part of it all was losing the baby. It made her snap out of it. We got her into a rehab treatment facility and she had been clean for five years. One night I had gotten a call and it was the one call that a brother never wanted to get. Kailey had been coming home from a weekend away with some friends who were celebrating one of them getting married. On the way back though, she was involved in a hit and run and they hadn’t found her until it was too late. Her friends assured me later that she hadn’t been drinking and the reports all confirmed it. There were no drugs or alcohol in her system and I didn’t doubt that. She had been doing so well before that. Losing her rocked my parents. Still to this day, they weren’t okay. Each one blamed the other for not being a better parent and when that fell on deaf ears then they would put the blame on me. I should have checked in on her more, I should have been there. The worst was hearing them tell me that it should have been me. That one felt great! It came right after I finished blaming myself for letting her drive. I could have taken her there and brought her back but she was stubborn and had wanted to do it on her own so I let her. I loved her and just wanted her to be happy. Now, I will never know where her life would have gone.
Deciding it was time to stop procrastinating, I finished off my coffee, turned my computer back off and grabbed my stuff. Sticking my head in the Captain’s office, I told him I was going and would be back soon. He knew by soon that it would be at least a week, I just didn’t want to tell Xavier that. Giving him a salute with one finger on my way out, I pushed the door open and went to get in my car. Dropping my stuff in the front seat, I put the key in the ignition and started it up. After leaving the carpark I headed for the cemetery. I wonder how long it’s been since anyone had been out here?
CHAPTER SIX
Abby
After one of the most restless nights of my life, I finally got sick of just lying there and waiting for sleep to come. Armed with one of my favorite books, I grabbed my bag, leaving my phone behind and headed to The Coffee Spot nearby. It was one of my favorite places to go and normally I would sit on one of the couches in there and get lost in my fantasy world. This time I decided to grab a coffee to go and head to my other favorite place. Most people would consider me a freak for going there, but there was something oddly calm about disappearing in the cemetery and just switching off. No one disturbed you because people didn’t go there to chat. I could find a nice shady tree and read. Sure I could do that in a park, but parks meant kids which meant mothers which had me staying away.
The Coffee Spot was run by two kickass women. They were stunning to look at but they had a brain as well. Jess, the shops co-owner, and I became close when she had her on again, off again relationship with Corey. They were both too busy to make anything serious last so they decided to be fuck buddies. I secretly hoped Corey would pull his head out of his ass and make it official but there was no telling the stubborn ass that he should do something before someone else did. Maybe now the rest of the boys were settling down, Corey might too. Other than Hailee and Katy, Sam and Jess were my people. No matter what, I knew I could come and talk to them. I knew they kept an eye on me for Corey while I was there. Taking my coffee from Sam, because she hated when I called her Samantha, I headed back to my car. It would seem though the universe had different plans for my day because when I left the coffee shop, I came face-to-face with Officer Jackass and his stupid pregnant whatever she was now we were done. Xavier looked up and saw me. He stepped away from Stacy and held his hand up as she kept trying to talk to him. He wasn’t having a bar of it though, he just wanted to lie to me some more. Taking a leaf out of his book, I held up my hand to him when he tried to stop me.
“Don’t even think about it, Xavier, I don’t want to hear the shit that is about to come out of your mouth right now. There is nothing you can say that will make me suddenly forget what an asshole you are. The fact that you are here with her speaks volumes.”
“Abby, wait! It’s not what you think. I don’t want any part of that. I am trying to tell her that it’s over but she isn’t getting it!”
“Frustrating isn’t it?” I dead-panned. I moved past him and kept walking to my car. I had just reached it when I felt a hand on my arm, spinning me around. If it wasn’t for the fact that I really wanted to drink this coffee then I would pour this over his head right now. “Xavier, you need to go away. I don’t want to listen to anything you have to say.”
“Abby, please, she meant nothing to me.”
“Xavier, please, do me the biggest favor and drop dead. There is nothing you can do or say to fix this so stop trying. It’s done, we’re done. Don't make me call in the big guns to keep you away from me because the Reapers are all itching to get their hands on you. I am the only thing stopping them. If you try to call my phone, come near me or even acknowledge my existence, that will change. Go be someone else's problem.” I pulled my arm from his grip and got into my car. Shutting and locking the door b
ehind me, I started up my car and pulled out of my spot. I didn't miss the glare from Stacy who had heard it all. I let out a big deep breath as I pulled into the cemetery a little while later.
I’d stopped quickly at the entrance to the grounds and brought some flowers from the guy who sells them. While I was here, I would go and see Kailey. I doubt anyone had been out here in a while to pay their respects. Hers and Toby’s parents pretty much shut down after her accident and didn't acknowledge that they had a son anymore. I'm not entirely sure why they still even hung around here. Their dad was in real estate and their mom hadn't worked since they were kids so it's not like they couldn't move away and start over. They wanted to wipe it from their memory so wouldn't moving away be for the best? Maybe they wanted to keep punishing Toby like they thought he deserved. Again, who knew why they did what they did.
Getting out of my car, I grabbed my coffee, book and the flowers before locking it up. Pocketing my keys, I headed for the row of headstones that Kailey was buried in. There was only one other person here judging by the carpark, which, for a weekday, seemed normal. As I made my way closer to Kailey’s grave, I noticed someone standing there, with their back to me. Clearing my throat as I got closer, I watched as Toby turned around. I gave him a small smile. Stepping around him, I cleared away the dead flowers I put here last week. Taking the flower holder that the groundskeepers put here, I put the new flowers in and fixed them up.
“I wondered who had been here.”
“That would be me, every week.”
“Really?”
“Yep, really. She was my best friend after all.”
“I have always wondered…” He paused for a moment, as if he was hesitating with the question or wondering how best to word it. Standing up, I cleaned up the paper from the flowers and wrapped the now dead ones in it.
Killing Me Softly Page 2
