He’d never known a carefree childhood or adolescence.
How carefree is your life now, Read? Sure, you can go anywhere at any time, but what is it worth?
There was no pleasure in living year after year in bunkhouse after bunkhouse with a bunch of men, many of them strangers for the first few months, and then never seeing them again after he left.
His life had become normal ordinary survival, and that was it.
Where was the joy?
He’d been on the chilly outside looking in at warm places that had never been open to him.
Here, in this living room with a woman and two children who completed him, he was finally home.
Rachel was magic, fantasy, desire and fulfilled longing all rolled into one. The joy she’d given him on the carousel ride on his first day in town was a small taste compared to this entire feast.
They belonged together.
The realization stunned him.
So how did he go about wooing her?
He’d never wanted to stay with a woman permanently before. With Vivian, he hadn’t realized until too late that he hadn’t been in control. She’d been pulling his strings throughout their relationship.
Even when he’d thought she was the one, he’d held back from making the final commitment, his intuition kicking in on some level. Or maybe he’d just had cold feet.
He felt none of that now. Not one iota. All he felt was a desire to move ahead, to act on feelings he’d never experienced before.
Rachel was a mother with two young children. She’d just given birth. How on earth did he make his feelings known to her?
He couldn’t touch her, couldn’t offer her his body. Man, after what she’d just been through, those thoughts were the furthest thing from his mind.
Her body would need time to heal. So what did he have to offer her instead?
He didn’t know who to talk to or where to go for advice. Who could he ask?
The obvious answer was Sammy, but he couldn’t get hold of her.
That thought sobered him and brought him back to earth and out of his amazing euphoria.
“What are you thinking?” Rachel’s whisper came out of nowhere.
She was watching him, her face dark that far from the light of the fireplace. He couldn’t make out her expression.
“Are you warm enough?”
She laughed. “You have so many covers piled on top of me I can barely move. Shivering isn’t possible.”
He smiled. “Good.”
“What were you thinking about so seriously? What’s worrying you? Do you need us to leave?”
“God, no! Why would you think that?”
“This is a lot of responsibility for a single man. You’re used to having your space to yourself. Now we’re here crowding you.”
“Rachel, honey, do you know how many times I wanted to invite you over? I’ve spent too many years alone. There’s more space in this house than any one man could possibly use.”
She raised her eyebrows when he called her honey.
“Okay, you might have wanted the company of a woman.” She didn’t say me, just a woman. As though any woman would do. She didn’t get it yet. How could she? He’d never even hinted to her that he wanted her. Travis held in a secret smile. She would understand soon enough. He’d make sure she did.
“You didn’t count on having two children here,” she continued. “Especially not a newborn baby.”
“True. I gotta be honest, Rachel. I like it.”
“But this isn’t reality. Reality is months of sleepless nights and diaper changes and pureed green peas.”
“I’ve shoveled a mountain’s worth of shit in my lifetime. That little thing’s diapers won’t faze me.”
She made a scoffing sound. “You won’t believe what this tiny body will be able to produce. We’ll see.”
“No, you’ll see.” He was dead serious. Only in hindsight, now, did he see that he’d had a connection to Rachel since the first moment he’d seen her on that carousel.
Not just an attraction, but also a deep connection, as though he’d recognized parts of himself in her. And parts of her in him.
His life, his former burdens, and the sight of her pregnant belly had held him back, along with his own fear, but today he saw everything clearly.
He might think it was the high emotion of Beth’s arrival, but that was only the catalyst. He could finally see what had been happening from the moment he’d arrived in this town.
Rachel had been on his mind ever since. No amount of resistance had been strong enough to stop the train that had barreled down on him.
Somewhere along the way, he’d decided her family could also be his. She could be his family. He wanted that more than anything he’d ever wanted in his life.
“What do you mean, I’ll see? What will I see?” A puzzled frown furrowed her brow. “What are you saying, Travis?”
Was it too soon to admit his intentions? He thought so. Best to let things develop more slowly.
The farthest he would go at the moment was, “Will you bring the children over for Christmas? Spend the day with me, okay?”
She didn’t answer right away.
“Please?” he said.
Again she hesitated. “What about your sister and her children?”
“You’ll like each other. I want you to meet them.” I want Sammy to get to know you.
“The children would have someone to play with. The boys would like that. So would Tori, I bet.”
“Okay. We’ll come over. I’d like that.”
So would he.
* * *
MANY TIMES THAT DAY, Travis paced in front of the window. Snow had drifted too high for him to drive out and get a doctor for Rachel, or to drive her to the hospital. And with the phones not working properly, he couldn’t even call a clinic for advice.
She said she was fine, but even so, he worried. He wanted both her and the babe checked out.
The power stayed out for another fourteen hours.
He kept them with him until the following morning, walking them back across to their trailer, carrying the baby while Rachel rested her hand on his arm.
He’d insisted. Sure, giving birth was natural, and she was capable of taking care of herself, but cripes, it had only been a little over twenty-four hours.
He didn’t know if there was ice under the snow.
The bottom line was that he didn’t want to see anything happen to her. She’d become as precious to him as anyone had ever been.
“I’ll bring the suitcase over once we get you settled in,” he said.
“I appreciate all of this, Travis.”
Tori whooped and giggled in the snow.
“It’s a winter wonderland, isn’t it?” Rachel said.
“Do you like winter?”
“I like all seasons, Travis. Each one has its good points.”
Her optimism, that ability to rise above everything that went wrong in her life, was what he found most attractive about her.
She found some good in everything. Even when she got really low, she didn’t whine, just got on with business.
The trailer felt too empty to him. He didn’t want to leave her here.
He’d asked her to stay with him longer, but she’d said, “I need to get on with the rest of my life. No time like right now to do that.”
Just inside the front door, she hesitated. He thought maybe she was having second thoughts about coming back. Noting the moment she stiffened her spine and moved forward, he shook his head.
Stubborn didn’t begin to describe Rachel McGuire.
Fine. This situation wouldn’t last forever.
Rachel didn’t know it yet, but her days in this tin can we
re numbered.
He perched Beth in her cradle in the corner of the living room.
“Still a bit cold in here. It hasn’t warmed up fully yet.”
“She’s well swaddled and cozy. If it’s too chilly, I can put her in the carrier and wear her. She’ll be fine.”
He didn’t bother asking what all of that meant, just straightened and looked down at her. “You’ll call if you need anything?”
Her skin looked good. Her hazel eyes were clear. The time at his house, getting sleep and doing nothing more than feeding her baby, had done her good.
The bags of exhaustion under her eyes were gone. He wished he could banish them forever.
“Yes, I’ll call.”
“Promise?”
“I promise. Travis, thank you for everything. I couldn’t have done it without you.”
“You’re about the most capable woman I’ve ever met, Rachel. You would have been fine.” He tucked her hair behind her ear. He wasn’t sure, but he thought he detected a fine tremor running through her at his touch.
Good sign.
“I’m glad you didn’t have to do it alone.”
“Me, too.”
Travis couldn’t keep himself from giving in to an urge that had been building for weeks.
He leaned forward and kissed her. He liked the feel of her full lips under his and the scent of his soap on her skin and the breathy sigh that escaped her.
“Travis, you’re kissing Mommy.”
He pulled away slowly, that one freckle on Rachel’s lower lip tantalizing at this close range, tempting him to return for seconds.
“I sure am, Tori.” He smiled down at her. “Get used to it.”
Rachel’s eyes widened.
Travis grinned and left the trailer, whistling all the way across the road to his home.
Inside, it felt empty, though. He wanted them back here now. He didn’t want them to ever leave again.
He would make a good home here, one that would put his childhood to shame.
Between him and Sammy, they could sort out where and how everyone would live.
He hadn’t understood that there was no burden in love.
When he held Beth, her small weight represented responsibility. He couldn’t imagine the commitment it would take to raise her to adulthood, but that responsibility would also come with tremendous reward.
Was she a burden? Never. Would she be a challenge? Yes. Was he up to it? His answer was a hands down, flat-out, resounding yes.
The same with Tori. Even when she was tired and fractious, all he felt for her was affection.
He’d always loved his sister. He loved his nephews more than anything, but the worry of keeping them safe had overwhelmed him at times.
The difference between the two families was that, even though Sammy and her children loved him, he’d lived on the outside looking in.
He remembered thinking that all he would ever know of family life would be to live it vicariously through Sammy and his nephews.
Here, with Rachel and Tori and Beth, was hope and inclusion and possibility and love.
Especially love.
He was a capable guy. He was up for the challenge.
Somehow, he could blend the two families and make it work.
He would fight tooth and nail to make it work.
He set about putting away quilts and washing dishes and planning his campaign to win Rachel McGuire’s heart.
After the snowplows came through, he drove into town and stopped in at Cole’s office.
“Rachel McGuire had her baby.” Travis explained what had been happening. “I need to get a doctor out to see her. Who should I talk to?”
Cole gave him a name and an address.
“He’s probably her doctor. I kinda doubt Rachel was seeing anyone else. Doc Chambers does everything around here.”
Travis stopped in, introduced himself and told him about Rachel. “Can I ask you to go out there to pay her a visit, make sure she and the baby are healthy? I’d compensate you up front.”
“I’ve heard from Rachel. I’m heading out there in an hour to check on her.”
“I’d still like to be the one paying for this visit.” He paid and then drove home, more settled now that he knew she’d be taken care of.
Sure, it was a high-handed decision, but doctors and hospitals were expensive, and he knew he had a heck of a lot more money than Rachel did.
This way she wouldn’t have to dip into any savings she might have. She could use her money for the next few months until she could get back to work.
The second his phone worked again, he called Samantha.
She answered on the second ring. Hallelujah.
“Where’ve you been?” He sounded angry, but cripes, he’d been worried.
“What do you mean? I’m in San Francisco. Where else would I be? We didn’t plan to leave for a couple of weeks.”
“I’ve been calling and calling and not getting through.”
“Really? My phone’s been on. I’ve been here. Did you try texting me?”
“I did everything but turn myself inside out.”
“I don’t know what’s wrong, Travis. Maybe there’s something wrong with the phone. It has been acting strangely, but I didn’t know calls weren’t coming through. I’ll get it checked out.”
“Do that. We had a storm here, but I was calling you before the weather rolled in.”
“What’s wrong? What’s got you so upset?”
He told her about Vivian.
“That she-snake,” she said. “No offense, Travis, but I never did trust her.”
“Now I understand why.”
“I don’t think it matters what Vivian said about Manny and his men.”
“How can you say that?”
“I got a letter from him. From Manny.”
“He’s not supposed to know where you are!” Fear settled in his belly, messing with the lunch he’d eaten a while ago.
“He doesn’t. Apparently it went to his defense attorney and then to the prosecutor who sent it along to me.”
“What did he want?” Talk about a snake who shouldn’t be trusted.
“It was a weird letter, Travis, but...”
“But what?”
“I believe everything he wrote in it.”
“Like what?”
“He’s found religion. He’s turning over a new leaf.”
“Come on, Samantha. Seriously?”
“I worked for him for two years. Plenty of long hours. Lots of overtime. I got to know him well. This sounds different.”
“All of a sudden he’s a new man?”
“He said he’s called off his boys. They’re no longer looking for me.”
“So within the space of a couple of weeks, he gets Viv to tell him where I am, where you plan to live and then turns around and calls off his goons?”
“It was a long letter. He said he gave Vivian a bunch of money to set herself up in an honest business. He gave his men what he had left. He said he won’t need it anymore.”
“And you believed him?”
“Every word.”
Travis scratched his head. “Aren’t you being naive?”
“No, I don’t think so, Travis. He’s old. He has no family left. I think prison changed him.”
“I’ll believe it when I see it. In the meantime, when are you and the boys leaving?”
She hesitated then said, “Do you mind if we come in February instead of for Christmas?”
Thank God for Rachel and the girls coming over for Christmas, or he’d be feeling hollowed out right now. “Why?”
“Remember how upset Jason was about the trial and moving so much and about his
dad leaving?”
“Yeah.”
“Well, he’s joined the drama club at school and loves it. They’re putting on a musical before Christmas and a play at the end of January. He really wants to do them.”
Travis reined in the hurt that had started up in him, that his nephews didn’t want to see him as much as he wanted to see them. It made sense for Jason to find something for himself.
“This has stabilized him, Travis. It’s given him some peace. I’m going to uproot him again to bring him to Montana, so let him have these two experiences first.”
Travis didn’t respond, even though he understood.
“Okay, Travis?” Samantha asked.
Finally, he answered, “Yeah, okay,” and it was. Whatever was best for Jason was fine by him.
“Sammy, one more thing...”
“What?”
“There’s this woman...a really nice one...she has two children, girls, and I, well...” He didn’t know what Sammy would think. “I guess I’ve kind of fallen in love.”
“It’s about time, bro.” Samantha laughed and hooted. “What’s she like?” She didn’t sound disapproving. Just curious.
“The best person I’ve ever met.”
The tension in Travis’s shoulders eased. Sammy approved. She would like Rachel. “I don’t know how we’ll work out the living arrangements.”
“Relax, Travis. We’ll make things work. Can’t wait to meet her.”
* * *
A WEEK BEFORE CHRISTMAS, Travis drove into town.
He hadn’t seen any movement at Rachel’s, no comings and goings, and it hit him. How was she getting out to get groceries when she had a newborn?
He’d heard through the grapevine that Cindy had not just left the trailer, but she’d actually skipped town.
If he went across the road and offered to pick up groceries, he had no doubt Rachel would say they were all fine.
Instead, he planned to just show up with food, but he had to be crafty about it. He’d tell her he was inviting himself for dinner...and it was a potluck and he was bringing the food.
Clever, Travis.
After the storm, he’d been called to the ranch to help with snow clearance and winter chores. He’d put in long days.
At night, he shoveled her driveway so she could get out if she needed to.
Rodeo Father Page 17
