by Lou Kuenzler
“No! I’ve been trying to tell you. With me, it wasn’t anything like that,” said Gran. “It wasn’t things I ate. All it took to make me shrink was a bit of excitement!”
“Excitement? What do you mean?”
“Exactly that,” said Gran. “Whenever I got really excited about anything … … I’d shrink on the spot!”
“Wow!” I spat a mouthful of Oaty Flakes into the bin. What Gran was saying sent a tingle down my spine. “It was being excited that made you shrink?”
“Easy as that!” smiled Gran. “Of course, I used to shrink all the time! I was a very excitable child.”
“Me too!” I grinned.
I remembered how VERY excited I’d been right before I shrank the first time.
“I was
excited,” I told Gran. “I was about to ride
“And the next time?” asked Gran.
I thought for a moment.
“Yes! I was excited then too. I’d just seen the Oaty Flakes in Hannibal’s cage … I really believed they’d make me shrink.”
“That’s it, then!” smiled Gran. “It works the same way. Every time you get overexcited … … You’ll shrink!”
“But I’m excited now!” I said, throwing the last handful of cereal into the bin. “I’m excited I don’t have to eat any more Oaty Flakes for a start!”
“Yippee!” cried Gran.
“And I’m REALLY excited I know what makes me shrink!” I and did a jump to prove it.
“Then it might work right now,” said Gran. “Are your toes tingling? Do you feel fuzzy? Light-headed?”
“A bit!”
Gran and I sped over to the mirror so that I could see for myself if anything would happen.
But nothing did.
“Come on! SHRINK!” I said, dancing a little jig. “I feel really excited. I really, really, really do!”
But deep down inside, my stomach felt strange and tight. Perhaps it was all the Oaty Flakes I’d eaten. Or perhaps it was that I knew we were running out of time. It was Monday morning tomorrow. If we didn’t solve the crime, the police would come and…
I watched in the mirror as a frown crossed my face.
The knot in my stomach got tighter.
I felt the last tingle of excitement flicker like a candle flame inside me … and blow out.
“It’s hopeless!” I said, flopping down on Gran’s bed. “This is never going to work. I’m sorry!”
While Mum was still in her meeting with Nurse Bridget, Gran and I tried everything to make me excited enough to shrink. Chocolate ice cream, dance off the wardrobe… Nothing worked. Gran even promised to take me for a ride on just as soon as we’d solved the jewellery crime.
But even that did no good. All I could think about was what would happen if the police were called tomorrow. My imagination was running wild, thinking of Gran locked up in chains like a prisoner in dungeon … maybe with a fiery dragon guarding the cell.
“One thing’s certain,” said Gran. “If we can’t prove I’m innocent, I won’t stay at Sunset any more.”
“But you love it here,” I said.
Gran shook her head. “They’ll probably throw me out. Even if they don’t, I won’t stay,” she sighed. “Not with everyone whispering behind my back, thinking I might be a thief.”
“I’m so sorry, Gran!” I said. “I was sure I’d be able to help you. I’ve let you down.”
“Nonsense. It’s not your fault, pet,” said Gran. “But I think I’ll have a little rest.”
Although it was only twelve o’clock and a lovely bright day, she slipped back into bed and pulled the duvet over her head.
I knew Gran wasn’t really tired. She was hiding again.
“Great work, Violet!” I told myself as I drew the curtains and tiptoed out into the corridor. I hadn’t managed to shrink … but I had managed to make Gran worried sick.
At the end of the corridor I saw the door out to the veranda – a long wooden deck which overlooks the yoga lawn. Just a week ago, Gran had been out there planting tubs of spring flowers – bossing Cora and Dora about and sending Mr Gupta for a watering can. How different everything was now. I sighed and headed down the corridor.
The veranda was a lovely spot. Perhaps if I went out there and sat in the sun, I might feel better. I might even feel enough to shrink. Yes! I’d find a nice big chair, close my eyes and think about summer holidays. Or Christmas. Or my birthday. Or summer holidays, Christmas and my birthday all rolled into one…!
But as soon as I opened the big screen door, I regretted it.
Barry Bling was on the veranda. He was giving Mrs Paterson a face mask on one of the sun loungers.
“It’s a good job you brought me out here, Barry,” said Mrs Paterson. “I wouldn’t want any of this gloop on the nice carpet in my room!” She pointed to the browny-green goo off her chin.
“This isn’t gloop!” cried Barry, smearing the mixture over her forehead. “This is finest River Nile mud all the way from Egypt!”
More likely soil from the bottom of the garden, I thought. I slipped into a tall sun chair before they noticed me.
It’s hard to make yourself invisible when you’re but I pulled my feet up underneath me and snuggled down into the enormous high-backed seat. I was facing away from Barry and Mrs Paterson and they were busy with their beauty treatment anyway.
No one could see me now, unless they walked round and stood right in front of the chair.
The seat was made from that plaited wicker stuff, like a basket. If I peered really carefully through the cracks in the weaving behind me, I could still see Barry and Mrs Paterson. But I tried to ignore them. I stared out at the yoga lawn, trying to think of exciting things.
There was nobody working in the gardens today, of course, because it was Sunday. Not that weekends seemed to keep Barry away. He was always here … giving beauty treatments … shouting about children having nits even when they DON’T!
“No!” I told myself. “Don’t think about that! You’re supposed to be thinking about exciting things … and nits are NOT exciting!”
I had a vision of Mum attacking my hair with her fine-toothed, NIT COMB!
I shuddered and snapped out of my daydream in time to hear Barry and Mrs Paterson talking about Gran.
“There’s no way she can deny it!” said Mrs Paterson. “My diamond ring was found hidden in that mug on her dresser.”
“It’s disgraceful!” said Barry.
I tucked my feet up higher and hugged my knees inside the chair. I tried not to listen to them.
Hearing bad things about Gran was not going to help me feel excited. At this rate I’d shrink! The gnawing feeling in my stomach had started again – like a hamster nibbling in my belly. I wished I could get up and walk away. But that’s the trouble with being full size. If I got out of the chair now, Barry and Mrs Paterson would see me.
“And that nosy granddaughter of hers is no better,” said Mrs Paterson, as if she’d read my thoughts. “Did you see the way she picked on my poor little Riley?”
Poor little Riley? I had never heard anything so in my whole life! Mrs Paterson ought to see the way Riley picks on the smaller kids at school. Last week he poured water on the chalk pictures the nursery children had drawn in the playground. And he locked Maisy Willis from reception in the ball cupboard for the whole of break.
I peered through the back of the chair. I couldn’t see Mrs Paterson’s eyes because Barry had covered them up with cucumber slices, but her wrinkly mouth was bent down in an angry frown. With her round cucumber eyes and muddy green face, she looked like a big cross frog. Ribbit!
“I don’t trust that Violet Potts,” she croaked. “Or her grandmother.”
“Quite right,” said Barry. “I hope you’ve moved your locket and put it somewhere really safe.”
“Oh yes!” said Mrs Paterson. “It’s in the safest place I could think of! I’m wearing it. See?” She pulled down the edge of her collar to show Barry the chain. I s
aw the glint of around her neck.
“Very sensible!” said Barry, patting the enormous diamond on the thick gold chain around his own neck. “Wearing precious jewels is the very best way to keep them safe.” He wriggled his fingers to show off his chunky gold rings. “But let’s stop thinking about all these unpleasant things, Mrs P. You’ll give yourself more … I mean, some wrinkles! And it’s not good for your poor heart either. Try to relax…
Oh no! Barry must have the same meditation CD as Mum! He began to hum.
“You’re a fluffy, carefree cloud,” he whispered. “I’ll give you a massage, Mrs P? That’ll really help you relax.”
I watched as Barry straightened the cucumber slices on Mrs Paterson’s eyes. He stepped round the back of the sun lounger to massage her shoulders.
As he pressed down with one hand, Barry took hold of Mrs Paterson’s gold chain with the other.
“Just relax,” he whispered. “Remember, you’re a fluffy cloud in the big blue sky!”
Barry glanced around the veranda. I froze. But he couldn’t see me. Even though I was still I was completely hidden by the ENORMOUS chair.
Barely daring to breathe, I watched as Barry unclipped the gold chain from around Mrs Paterson’s neck. All the time he kept talking to her, massaging her shoulders and telling her to relax. He was stealing Mrs Paterson’s locket right before my eyes!
My legs trembled. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Barry Bling was the jewellery thief. I had caught him red-handed!
It seemed so obvious now. Why I hadn’t thought of it before? Barry was always going in and out of everyone’s rooms. He had plenty of opportunities to steal things… He was always telling people to relax, or sticking cucumber slices on their eyes. And Barry really did love sparkly jewellery! Just look at his own collection of rings and gold chains.
I’ve done it! I’ve proved Gran innocent, I thought, jiggling my legs as I hugged them tightly. I’ll just watch what Barry does with the locket, then I’ll run and get Nurse Bridget. She’ll call the police.
A big grin spread across my face. I had found the thief all by myself … and I hadn’t even needed to shrink to do it.
It was hard to keep still. I wanted to clap my hands and WHOOP and cheer.
I watched, excitement racing through me, as Barry slipped the locket into his…
“Oh no!”
I felt a tingle in my toes and…
My stomach lurched.
The next thing I knew, I’d slipped down behind the cushion on the chair.
I had shrunk.
I was no bigger than the diamond B hanging around Barry Bling’s neck.
“This is not the right moment!” I groaned. “I’m trying to catch a thief!”
But right now I wasn’t even big enough to catch a tennis ball…
Shrinking was what I had had in mind! But there wasn’t a moment to lose. Now I knew Barry was the thief, I had to get help. I had to tell someone.
“Stay there and relax,” said Barry as soon as he’d slipped the locket off Mrs Paterson’s neck. “I’ll pop inside and check on Cora and Dora. They’re under the hairdryers. Don’t move those cucumber slices! I’ll be back to take your face mask off in a while.”
“Stop! Thief!” I cried. But, even if I could have shouted loud enough, my voice was muffled by the cushion I’d slipped behind. I heaved myself up, pushing my way through bits of fluff, a penny the size of a pizza and a pistachio shell I could have worn like a hat.
As soon as I was free, I the using the holes in the wicker like the rungs of a ladder for my tiny feet. But it was slow work. By the time I’d climbed to the floor, Barry was already through the heavy screen door that led inside. It banged shut behind him.
“Now what?” I might as well have been locked behind a steel wall for all the chance I had of catching up with him. I ran along a crack in the wooden floor, the sun loungers throwing dark grey shadows above my head.
The door from the veranda was about FIFTY times taller than me. It would probably weigh about the same as a lorry would if I were full size. There was NO way I’d ever be able to push it open.
I thought about shaking Mrs Paterson – maybe climbing on top of her and pinching her nose. But what if she really did have a weak heart? The sight of me jumping up and down like a tiny, crazy Mrs Pepperpot might just finish her off for good.
I’d already been called a thief … I didn’t want to be called a murderer as well!
“This is SO unfair!” I kicked at the door … and stubbed my toe. “Ouch!” I’d forgotten I was only wearing my slippers. “When I want to shrink, I don’t. And when I don’t want to shrink, I do!”
I was pacing up and down, trying to think what to do next, when I heard a sharp below me. I looked down and saw a familiar nose poking up through a hole in the wooden planks of the veranda.
“Hannibal!” I cried. “How did you get down there?”
Last time I’d seen him, he’d disappeared under Gran’s bed.
“Of course!” There must be a whole network of underground passages beneath the floorboards of the old building. Just right if you’re a hamster … or a TINY LITTLE GIRL.
“Wait!” I cried as Hannibal’s nose disappeared again. If I could follow him under the floorboards, I could probably get right down under the house. I might be able to find an underground route to Cora and Dora’s room. Then I could hide under their bed and keep an eye on Barry.
But by the time I through the tiny hole in the plank, Hannibal had vanished.
Never mind, I thought. As long as I followed the veranda all the way along, I would end up underneath the twins’ room. The two old sisters shared the big double room at the front of the building. I’d heard Mrs Paterson complain how unfair it was – “They have a best view from there! Right out over the gardens” – so at least I knew which way I was going.
But what if I grow back to full size? I thought suddenly. It could happen anytime, without warning, like it had in the litter bin or on Mrs Paterson’s bed. Then I’d be down here – like Winnie-the-Pooh in a rabbit hole! Squashed like the layer of peanut butter in a peanut butter roll…
“Better keep moving,” I told myself. “No time to hang around.”
I raced along under the wooden veranda. I thought it would be dark down here, but it was more like running through a forest. Like when Dad takes us on country hikes at the weekend. Sunlight poured in through the cracks in the planks above, just like it does through tall tress on a woodland path.
Of course if this really were a hike, Dad would have had all his gadgets with him – like a compass, hand-held satnav and mobile phone. We could have just phoned Cora and Dora and told them what was going on. But that was no use to me now. Dad was miles away at his work disaster. Even if I did have a phone, I was so small I’d have to on the buttons to dial it.
I ran on until I reached a solid brick wall ahead of me under the planks. This must mean I was at the end of the building, right by Cora and Dora’s room.
I turned away from the speckled forest sunlight of the veranda and peered through a crack in the bricks into the DARK BLACKNESS under the house.
There was nothing else for it. I needed to squeeze through there, then find a gap in the floorboards and crawl up into the room above. I had to find Barry and see what he was up to. I turned my body sideways and through the tiny crack and into the foundations of the house. At least if there were any creepy crawlies or giant spiders down here, it was too dark to see them.
I took a step forward and tripped over something long and narrow – probably an electricity cable running up into the house.
I sneezed as I landed in a pile of dust.
As I pulled myself up, something dashed past me in the gloom.
“Hannibal?” I called hopefully. “Is that you?” Whatever it was – a spider … a mouse … a rat – it sounded like a small horse galloping past.
My legs like . I could barely move I was shaking so hard. I couldn’t see my own feet. And m
y nose was so full of dust I felt like a mini-vacuum cleaner! The sooner I was out of here, the better.
“See you upstairs,” I called to what I hoped was Hannibal still scratching away in the corner. “I’m getting out of here!”
I stretched my hands out in front of me and took three brave steps towards a tiny glimmer of light ahead.
“Ouch!” My fingers touched something boiling hot. It must be a water pipe. There was a cold one beside it too. Both pipes led up to a faint circle of light where they ran into the room above. The gap looked as if it was just big enough for me to squeeze through.
I wrapped my knees around the cold water pipe and The metal was freezing, damp and slippery – but really it was just like the fireman’s pole at King’s Park.
High above me, I heard a voice that I recognized.
“The police will have no choice but to arrest Mrs Short!” said Barry loudly. He was talking about Gran again. “After all, the ring was found hidden in her room.”
“You’re a HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE liar!” I mouthed to myself as I climbed.
“I refuse to believe it’s true,” said the voice of one of the twins above me. “She’s such a lovely lady. I know she would never do anything like that.”
“Thank you!” I knew how happy Gran would be to hear her friends still trusted her, no matter what people like Barry might say.
“She is as honest as apple pie,” agreed Cora.
I’ve always liked the twins.
“She’s nothing but a criminal!” said Barry, his lies echoing through the floorboards. “It’s a serious crime to steal jewellery…”
“Yes, it is a serious crime!” I whispered. “And you’re going to pay for it, Barry Bling!” I heaved myself up to the very top of the pipe. The circle of light from the bedroom shone down through the hole in floorboard above me. “Just as soon as I’m BIG enough I’m going to tell everyone that YOU are the thief!”
I myself up through the hole beside the water pipe and hid behind Cora and Dora’s wastepaper bin.
It was clear now why Barry had been shouting so loud. He’d wheeled two of those old lady space-helmet hairdryers in here. Cora and Dora were underneath with hot air blowing in their ears.
