Aidan's lips moved down my neck and I froze when he reached the spot where his mark should have been. He jerked back. "That's why you left without me. You hoped I wouldn't find out."
"Why did you really want to mark me?"
"Did you think I wouldn't get close to you, touch you?" He brushed my hair back, exposing the unmarked skin.
"Why did you really want to mark me, Aidan?"
"What does it matter now? It didn't work."
"It matters to me."
"Have I ever given you a reason to doubt me? Have I ever done anything but care for you? And still you rush to think the worst of me. Someone says something, plants a seed of doubt and you let it grow into a gnarled hedge of mistrust that I must once again hack my way through. Just to get close to you. All those nights I spent with you, getting to know you, did you learn nothing about me? About the kind of man I am?"
"You still didn't answer the question." My heart was pounding. I wanted to believe the words flowing from his beautiful lips. He was saying all the right ones but there was more to his driving need to mark me. He had to have known about my new position with the Council. Agrona had said he was afraid of what I would become. How many times had they called me daughter of Arawn. Why would he ask me to do something that could sever me from my fae lineage? He knew more last night before he sank his fangs into my neck than he bothered to share with me. He was keeping something from me.
"Didn't I?"
"Did you know last night that I was going to be Regulator? That I was basically in charge of your team?"
"You have got to be fucking kidding me? You think I was trying to what, hold sway over you with my mark? It couldn't possibly have anything to do with the others seeking to claim you. Your wolf, the stranger marking your door, even your father is making moves to find you a match. Did you know that?
“Christ, Maurin, even the Council is trying to claim you. Caligula could lay claim to you. I want to show the world that you are mine and you assume I only want to control you. That my mark gives me power over you. I sought to win your heart and mind. But I haven't, have I? Last night you let your guard down, truly let me in but I see the walls are back up and thicker than ever."
My throat was tight, my voice wavered as I held back tears. He was right. I had already fortified the walls around my heart. "Did you know that being marked by a vampire is forbidden among the fae? That in order to be marked I would be giving up my lineage, the thing that gives me my power, that makes me, me?"
"If I thought such a thing was possible I wouldn't have tried. Were you the daughter of Arawn when I first met you? Were you my superior when I first kissed you? I don't give a damn about your power or position. I wasn't asking you to give up anything but your heart.
“You know, I used to find all your little insecurities endearing. Now I see them for what they really are. A handicap. You will always look for the worst in others. You don't value yourself, so why should anyone else. You don't see what everyone else sees when they look at you, when I look at you." He walked toward the car. "Let's go. The night isn't getting any younger and we still have Caligula to question."
I didn't say anything, just numbly climbed into the passenger seat as Conry sprawled out in back. He called me an emotional cripple and he was right. It wasn't like my life had been over flowing with love and support. I couldn't accept the fact that Aidan wanted me, that his desire to mark me stemmed more from his feelings for me than anything else. So I let Agrona, master manipulator, plant doubt in my head- for her own enjoyment no doubt. Combine that with my father's declaration that a vampire mark was like the scarlet letter for fae and I had enough to question everything about Aidan and his intentions. I had royally fucked up.
"Aidan?"
"Don't. You've said enough for one night."
"Aidan, I just, I..."
"You just what? Want to offer some half hearted apology? Spare us both. It will offer little solace after hearing what you really think of me."
"A lot's happened the last couple of days. I admit it, I let my insecurities get the best of me. I was overwhelmed, I didn't know what to think."
"Let me know when you do."
The rest of the ride to Caligula's was in painful silence. I watched the city morph into suburbia and tried to piece myself together enough to get through the questioning. I had planned to confront Aidan about his ulterior motives, but there weren't any. In exchange Aidan laid me bare, exposing all the self esteem issues I typically kept hidden behind a sharp wit and sharper tongue.
I closed my eyes and worked on breathing. I'd tried meditation before. I couldn't sit still long enough. Since I was stuck in the car I tried it again. I couldn't afford any chinks in my mental armor when I talked to Caligula. I needed some serious repair work after the argument with Aidan.
Caligula lived in an unassuming two story Cape Cod with grey shaker siding, white trim, red shutters and door. It was the quintessential upper middle class home, one you found anywhere along the New England coastline and totally not what I expected.
Spring was far from making an appearance but the yard was neatly kept. Boxwood hedges trimmed the grass in place of a fence and two birch trees stood on each side of the walk, the stark white bark a contrast against the grey backdrop of the house. I half expected a mother to pull up in her silver suburban, dragging three kids from hockey practice home for dinner. It was hard to reconcile this house, this home, with a killer-vampire or otherwise.
Aidan hadn't said another word to me on the way over and stood as far from me as possible without actually waiting in the car. How could we work together like this? I tried to get his attention, to get him to look at me. I needed reassurance we were going to be all right, not for the future, just right now- that we were going to walk out of here.
Despite what was said between us earlier, Aidan was excellent at picking up on my emotions. He didn't so much as check me in his peripheral. The hard clipped sound of his voice when he reminded me that he was a professional and despite my new title I was a rookie compared to him, left me colder than the wind blowing off the Atlantic. He stepped in front of me and knocked on the door. The man who answered was as unexpected as the house.
"Well, isn't this a pleasant surprise. I heard you'd been spending more time state side, Aidan. I'm disappointed you haven't called before now." Caligula was dressed in a charcoal grey v-neck sweater with white under shirt, jeans that looked broken in but definitely came that way and black Vans. He looked like he belonged in this neighborhood, hell in this decade, except for his eyes. Something in those dark chestnut orbs showed his age. He may have fooled the elderly couple next door but the power cresting against this suburban facade was obvious to me.
"Aren't you going to invite us in?" Aidan still dwarfed me with his body but Caligula wasn't surprised when Aidan said us. He would have sensed my heartbeat.
Caligula opened the door wider. The house was like something out of Garden and Gun magazine. Rich brown leather couches and overstuffed chairs were positioned around the fireplace. Small wooden tables heavy and worn were on sides of the chairs supporting lamps with stretched leather shades. An old wooden chest with iron straps and lock was a makeshift coffee table. His built in bookshelves were stocked.
The whole room was a contradiction with what I knew about this vampire. He was a madman in life, turned after a vicious assassination attempt and created scores of vampires in his likeness. Finding the love of his life soothed him, and losing her seemed to completely destroy his desire for life. He had quietly assimilated back into vampire society. Powerful in strength and years, socially accepted but never really living. Something had awakened the beast inside him. I was determined to find out what.
Caligula gestured to the living room and we followed. He sat in the chair to the right of the fireplace and waited for us to be seated. Aidan sat on the couch, the middle of the couch, forcing me to take the chair on the left. I caught the intake of breath as I walked past Caligula and felt his eye
s burn every inch of me until I sat. I would have preferred sitting next to Aidan, he had a calming effect on me but he wasn't offering any support in that department tonight.
He'd flipped the switch and we were just business as far as he was concerned. Fine. I could do this, I wanted to do this. I was an interrogator. It didn't matter if I couldn't use my abilities, I still knew how to get information. I stamped down my nerves and mentally prepared myself for the game. Getting a confession from Caligula was going to be a battle of wits and wills.
"Aidan, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?" He talked to Aidan but his eyes never left me.
"Caligula this is Maurin. Maurin this is Caligula." Aidan had no interest in the pleasantries.
Faster than I thought possible, faster than I have ever seen Aidan move, Caligula was standing in front of me. He swept my hand up in his, pressing it to his mouth. His lips were cold, not the icy fire of Aidan's touch, more like frostbite.
"A pleasure to make your acquaintance. Please call me Gaius. What brings you to my home? I am not in need of a cleaner, so this must be a social call. Come to reminisce about the old days? I could tell you stories from my time in Capris that would make every inch of your porcelain skin blush, my dear. Or perhaps you'd like to hear the story of how Aidan and I met. Not as solicitous but riveting none the less."
He knew why we were here. There was no point in beating around the bush. If I let vampire formalities run the show we would be here until sunrise. "We're here about the five dead girls. I'm sure you've heard about them."
"Yes, yes. On the news. Tragic business, suicide pact is what the reporter said. I didn't know such a thing existed. Have you ever heard of such a thing? But I don't see why that would have brought you here." Caligula draped himself across the other chair, one foot casually swinging over the arm.
Of course I knew what a suicide pact was and I'm fairly certain a vampire over a millennia old did too but what I didn't know was that's what the media reported. Now I really wanted to meet the new fed. I bet he was behind that leak to reporters. "Let's not start off on the wrong foot, Caligula. I know..."
"Please, call me Gaius."
"Okay, Gaius. Does the name Caroline Sousa ring any bells?"
"Of course it does, my dear. Lovely woman, we had a brief affair. She wanted me to turn her. I refused and that was the end of our time together I'm afraid."
"She was eighteen, I'd hardly call that a woman. You don't think that's a little young for you? Like a few hundred years too young?" I probably shouldn't provoke him this early in the conversation. I spared a glance at Aidan expecting to see a scowl on his face but all I saw was indifference. His arms were casually stretched out over the back of the couch and he had no intentions of intervening. Not yet.
Caligula wistfully stared off. "In my day women who weren't betrothed by eighteen had little prospects. I love their vitality. It re-ignites my passion for life. But like all good things, the affairs are often short lived. They begin to yearn for the same passion in a partner and once again the fire in my heart is snuffed out."
"That's all very poetic but I find your choice of words intriguing. Short lived, snuffed out? Fascinating turn of phrase, especially since Caroline is dead."
"What? How? Surely you don't mean she was one of those girls?"
"When was the last time you saw her?"
"Two or three weeks ago." His phone rang. "Excuse me. I need to take this call." He stood and walked away.
I leveled Aidan with a fierce glare. "What the hell is the matter with you?" I mouthed afraid Caligula would hear me.
"I could ask you the same thing." He didn't even bother to whisper. I knew Aidan wasn't talking about my very direct line of questioning.
I flipped him off as Caligula came back in the room. He held out his cell phone. "It's for you."
I stood, panic gripped me for a moment. Who the hell would be calling to talk to me on his cell phone? He was certifiable. What if someone I cared about was tied to a chair, held hostage and tortured on the other end of that call. Good thing that was a very short list of people and all but one were Others.
My hand was steady, giving nothing away. We were only testing the waters, trying to see how far we could get with a simple visit. If Caligula had changed the rules of engagement so soon we were in serious trouble. "This is Maurin Kincaide."
Aidan watched me with renewed interest as my brow furrowed and my eyes darkened. A storm brewed inside me but I couldn't let my anger show. A few more mmm hmms and I snapped the phone shut. I fought not to slam the phone into Caligula's palm. It wouldn't have hurt him anyway.
"I appreciate you speaking with us this evening, Gaius." I wanted to tell him what I saw, that I knew he was there the night she died. That he killed her, but it wasn't the time. He won this round but I was going to ensure I got a rematch. "We're trying to piece together the last few days of her life. The news is reporting a suicide pact but we suspect blood magic may be involved. In light of the state of the local coven, I'm not entirely surprised." I reached for him, gently squeezing his forearm, my fingers stroking the soft sweater. "Of course you know that information is not being released. I trust you'll keep this confidential."
He looked at my hand, watching my fingers glide along his arm. He cleared his throat. "If I think of anything helpful you'll be the first person I call."
I pulled an old business card from when I was still with SPTF out of the inside pocket of my leather jacket. God only knew how long it's been in there. "I recently changed positions but my cell is the same."
He smiled with a little fang and held my hand longer than necessary. I thought I heard him say something about positions but decided not to ask him to repeat it. I was sure it was meant for Aidan's ears not mine.
We both knew to wait until we were inside Aidan's car with the radio on before we said anything. Caligula watched us from the door until we were halfway down the street.
Aidan was furious but I don't think it was all directed at me. "Let me guess, his lawyer was on the phone."
"How the hell did he pull that off?"
"He probably called his lawyer before we ever knocked on the door. You weren't meant to ask all your questions tonight."
I was quiet, trying to figure out what Aidan meant by that, an awkward silence filled the car. I watched the houses pass in a blur as my breath fogged the window.
"What are you thinking?"
"That all those romance authors have obviously never met a real Roman because I'm here to tell you that nose is not what they described."
I could tell he wanted to laugh, the little crinkles around his eyes gave him away, but he didn't. I knew he wouldn't say anything until I actually answered the question he asked. I sighed. "I was thinking how much I wished he was a witch or a shifter. At least then I could get a read on him."
"We all succumb to our gifts but you handled yourself without them. It was smart to misdirect him. You were very convincing, though I would advise you against touching him the next time you speak. You seem to be immune to vampire persuasion, especially mine, but he is an ancient. Touching will only strengthen the connection making it easy for him to coerce you."
It was the only compliment he paid me tonight and I couldn't help but wonder how long it would be like this between us. He sat right next to me but I missed him. I missed the easy banter and fireworks that always went off when we were together, even if it was just our tempers. He completely shut down. I didn't know if I could give him everything he wanted but I ached for things to be normal between us. I just didn't know how to undo what had been done. "Are you planning on stopping the jabs anytime soon?"
"Not tonight."
The ride back to my apartment was silent and painfully long. When he finally pulled up in front of my building, I all but ran from the car. It hurt more than I expected to see Aidan and me in ruins. I had cut him deep with my suspicions and general lack of trust. I would say serves him right for what he did but I knew deep down he
had my best intentions at heart. He may have gone about it all wrong but it was never malicious.
Deep down all that lingered were self esteem and trust issues. The people in my life so far had either barely tolerated my existence or manipulated me for their own gain. Aidan was different. He was the only one interested in me for me. Well maybe Cash was too but I was too tired to dwell on that tonight.
I grabbed a bottle of wine and went into the bathroom to fill the tub. I'd finish the bath when I finished the bottle.
11
I cursed the sun as it broke through the clouds. I vaguely remember opening the blackout shades I'd installed for Aidan, hoping to see him outside keeping watch. If he had been there I probably would have gone to him, begged him to forgive me and lured him to my bed. He wasn't. I lived upstairs from an alpha, who just so happened to be my friend, if I was in trouble Aidan knew I'd have help. He was giving me space. In the excruciating light of day, I realized it was the best gift he could give me. He wanted me to figure out what I was willing to give him. I hoped he was willing to accept it when I did. But first I needed coffee and Tylenol.
I stumbled into the kitchen still cursing the sun like a true creature of the night and wished I had one of those single cup coffee pod machines. I loved the French press but coffee in under a minute started to sound better and better. Wine is a creeper, the effects sneak up on you. A bottle later and you're in for a headache in the morning. I contemplated eating the grounds when the buzzer for my door went off like an alarm in a firehouse. I hit the intercom and grumbled a greeting. I stopped listening after I recognized Amalie's voice and buzzed her in. That voice guaranteed coffee. She never came empty handed.
Amalie was outside my door when I opened it. She balanced a glorious coffee tray and white paper bag in one hand while she bent to pick up a box resting against the door. It was a plain brown shipping box, totally innocuous, except for the fact it shouldn't be there.
I stopped Amalie, I didn't want her to get hurt if the package was booby trapped. Or spill the coffee, the tray was dangerously close to bending in half. I ushered her inside the apartment and gave the box a little nudge, and then another. When nothing seeped, oozed, misted or erupted out of the box I brought it inside. Amalie set us up with coffee and croissants while I opened the box. She peered over my shoulder by the time I cut through the tape and pulled out all the brown packing paper. Inside the box was another box. This one rectangle and beautifully wrapped with mat black paper and black ribbon. I took the box out and opened the card tapped to the top.
Blood Bath, A Paranormal/Urban Fantasy (The Maurin Kincaide Series Book 4) Page 9
