"Here," Isabela slapped a ten of swords down and turned fully to the elf. "What makes your gaatlock explode? Rotates your windmill? Tickles your taint?"
Reiss watched the pirate a moment, while Alistair watched her. He shouldn't do it he knew, but there was this moment when she'd slip from quietly observing to bitingly witty that was fascinating to see. It was as if she lit up from the inside as she assessed a situation in seconds while everyone else fumbled around. He'd caught it while with Harding and tried to not stare too agape as the two of them puzzled things out together.
"I see," Reiss opened her mouth and for a moment her eyes flickered up to Alistair's. It caused a chain reaction and his lips lifted in one of ten of his goofiest smiles, nearly causing an awe shucks to dribble from his mouth. The elf turned away, her hand absently fanning her face as she spoke with a shrug, "Um, good?"
Isabela laughed at that, "We all want them to be good in bed, otherwise what's the point? Or on the table, in the pew, standing astride the prow while facing down a storm of..." Her eyes stared through the horizon before she woke herself back up, "Details. That's the fun part. Mixing all those weird edges of ours together and for a brief moment enjoying the way they fit, or really loving the way they don't."
"Oh, that, well I..." she gurgled into an incoherent babble and pointed at the table.
"Let me take a guess," Philipe spoke up before holding both of his fingers over his eyes like a blindfold, "Tall, dark, and a handsome man who works in the kitchens?"
Karelle nudged him in the ribs and sat up, "Don't go giving the girl a fright like that. She's clearly gotta have a thing for elfy types, they all do. Lanky, and lean, and skinny, and what not."
Alistair swallowed and tugged on the constricting collar of his tunic which drew every eye to him. "Oh no, I'm staying out of this. I barely know what I'm attracted to most days," he folded into himself and found his hands endlessly fascinating to watch.
"You're easy," Isabela jabbed a finger at him. "Short, dark," she nodded at Philipe with that one, "and capable of saving the world."
"Yeah," he nodded his head, feeling like honey dribbled out of the wound from her dagger striking through his heart. That wound was eternal no matter how much time crawled on, but it wasn't always painful either. "Which is so easy to find." Alistair felt himself drifting lower into his navel. He'd tried being with women before; Lanny, others after her, Lanny again -- which was an even bigger mistake -- and they all ended badly. Maybe he wasn't cut out for it, for any of that romance stuff. Cuddling with someone in bed while reading random lines out of books to make a new story. Holding her hand before leaping off a cliff into a lake. Aching to kiss only those lips. To feel her laugh up through his arms while holding her. Everyone else seemed capable of it, but like all things in life, Alistair was the eternal screw up.
Clapping his hands to try and lift the clouds that settled across the group, the King threw on his biggest smile. "Right, that's enough going easy on the new girl. Let's get this real party started."
"I hope you've got the coin to back up that mouth," Isabela smirked, her grin shaking off the last of the awkwardness. Everyone else moved to cash in their cards, passing them to the Spymaster to shuffle.
Ghaleb accepted them all, his head hanging down, but under his breath he muttered, "Shoulders broad enough to hold the world and a heart willing to try."
Isabela was on point, she did have her little fleet to finance after all, but Alistair knew how to counter most of her moves. It didn't take long before Philipe bowed out as well as Karelle who was never in for the gambling. Alistair found his eyes darting over to the bodyguard who kept sneering at her cards. As the night wore on her hair started to creep out of its bun, a small tendril constantly flopping in her face. When she plucked up a card, and gave a quick breath to knock it up and out of the way, he had to bury his face into his hand to hide the smile. For a moment, he caught Isabela's always curious glance eyeing him up. She gestured at Reiss, who mercifully wasn't paying attention, at him, and then...proceeded to make a rude gesture which earned her a growl. Of course Isabela laughed at it, even more certain in her guess.
"Right, I'm done," Reiss folded her hand up tight and dropped them with a thud against the table. Tucking back her hair behind her ears she absently snatched up a hunk of bread and chewed it apart.
"Do you know the real trick to this game?" Isabela asked. She rarely looked down at her hand, finding it far more fun to watch everyone else stew over theirs.
"Having another deck stashed up your sleeve?" Reiss mumbled to herself before pausing. Panic crawled up her face as the table fell deathly silent, each eye turning first to the pirate queen and back to the bodyguard struggling to swallow.
Isabela folded up her cards and with care pulled a stack of cards out of her leather gauntlet wrapped across her bicep. Shrugging, she tossed it onto the table and resumed play, "If you're going to cheat, might as well go big. You know, it's funny you noticed that. I remember the last person to catch that deck of cards on me." Her smile turned from the bodyguard to Alistair whose brain took a few more seconds to follow along and he felt himself melting into a puddle.
"That was..." he screwed up his eyes and fought down the urge to run out of the room, "she's talking about the Hero." He felt like he needed to explain without going into any details for fear of all the details Isabela would go into.
"You met her?" Reiss asked so sweetly innocent Alistair wanted to tackle her from across the room to try and rescue her.
"Mm," Isabela exchanged one of her legal cards for another, "you could phrase it like that. She has a lovely birthmark, very memorable."
Reiss shook her head, "The one on her neck in all the paintings?"
"Yes, that one's good too. Are you in or not, Ali?"
Alistair shuffled up and tried to mop away the sweat beading across his forehead. This room was not always so hot, he was fairly certain. There was probably someone he should talk to about lowering the fire levels. Ignoring the glances from the rest of the party, he picked another card and tried to shake off the groan. "What about you, Ghaleb?"
"My contributions would be trite. I shall refrain from playing."
"What?" Isabela turned on the Spymaster.
"That means he's out. Looks like it's just you and me," Alistair smiled wide, trying to put his teeth to good use.
Isabela remained unimpressed. She plucked a grape off the stack and dropped it into her mouth before spitting the seed into a slop bucket behind Alistair's head. "First time for everything, I suppose. So, how about we make it interesting?"
"Interesting?" He'd expected this from her, the pirate always trying to goad people into giving up things they wanted. Normally, Alistair didn't have much to ask for but he'd been thinking of something really good. "All right. You know, I bet that hat of yours would look nice on me."
Her fingers ran along the brim that he swore got bigger since he last saw her. "You'd ruin this beauty with your misshapen head," Isabela frowned.
"Is the Pirate Queen scared?" Alistair leaned forward, both elbows digging into the table.
A cocky smile replaced her worry, and she jerked her head, "Not for a moment. You know what I want."
"Yeah, yeah, what you always do, so...let's do this."
The cards flew furiously across the table, many tells exchanged, most of them blisteringly obvious. At one point Isabela snatched up a card then howled at the sky. Of course Alistair had to one up her by grabbing a small knife and ceremoniously knighting the card. He checked with Karelle to make certain it was legal and then kept Ser Card in his front pocket the whole night. But even as their antics delighted the people slowly crawling into their mugs at the table, both combatants could taste the blood in the air. The end was drawing nigh as the last of the coin, the buttons, and what crackers they could steal before Philipe whined piled up on the table.
Alistair glared over his cards, all three of them ready to attack, "You ready to fork over that hat?"
&n
bsp; She ran her finger up and down the brim as if caressing it before thumbing her nose at him and sticking out her tongue. "Not on your bloody life. You won't stand a chance, little King."
"Okay," he couldn't bury the smile widening upon his jaw. Isabela kept her face neutral but he knew that snake grin in her eyes. She was certain she'd won. "On the count of one, two..."
"Will someone throw down their cards!" Reiss shouted from the sidelines, then she eeped and tossed a hand over her mouth.
"As you say, pretty one," Isabella cooed before tossing her no doubt winning hand upon the table. She moved to scoop up the pile and flashed a wicked smile at him.
"I hate to break it to the hustler in our midst, but..." Alistair dropped his cards and Isabela's jaw hit the table, "she just got took. Hat please."
Snatching up his cards, Isabela glared through them, her face shifting in an internal rage, "You cheated!"
"So did you," he chuckled. "I still beat you unfair and wobbly shaped. Doesn't change the outcome. Hat."
Growling, Isabela slammed the cards back onto the table and then slapped them a few more times for good measure. She ignored his waiting hand and downed her drink before yanking a flask out of her corset and unscrewing that.
"Grumble all you want, but I'm not moving until you drop that on my head," Alistair smirked pointing at her pirate hat.
Her fingers drummed up and down on the table, a stormy sea ransacking her brow as she glared death through the wall, when it all passed in an instant. Isabela smiled wide, finished off her flask, then spun around to fully face Alistair. "Fine," her fingers didn't dart up to her head but down across her chest. What in thedas was she doing?
Working with a lightning fast dexterity Alistair would kill for, Isabela unlaced her corset and, completely topless, hurled it across the table at him. Sweet Maker. He knew his cheeks lit up bright red as his eyes tried to find the ceiling utterly fascinating with its cobwebs and missing slats. Unmoored by her own unclothing, Isabela positioned her hat tighter to her head and said to the melting King, "Wear that, oh Majesty." Turning on her heel, she marched breasts swinging out the door.
"Well that was something," Karelle quipped first.
"For Andraste's sake," Alistair groaned as he picked up the warm, white leather. "Will someone go flag her down and return this before she causes massive heart attacks in the guards?"
"I'm on it," Philipe reached over to tug it from his hands, but the King held it tight.
"Someone else," he said.
"Aye, I'll stop her," Karelle rose to her staggering height and barreled past into the night to try and stop a naked pirate wandering his castle. That could be the summation of Alistair's reign right there: it was all naked pirates and piss-poor assassins. A laugh grew in his throat and he leaned back in his chair, trying to scrub his face clean when he heard a similar one echoing from his bodyguard. He drew his hand away from an eye and caught her shaking her head as she smiled brightly, the last of that armor falling to bits.
After a time Isabela returned dressed and baring a fresh bottle she unearthed from Maker only knew where. Her only approach to drawing attention to her leaving was by knocking back her hat and smiling wildly.
"The hour draws nigh," Ghaleb spoke.
"Aye, and it's gettin' late too," Philipe answered for him, getting a slow sigh from the Spymaster.
Isabela slammed the bottle of rum on the table and jeered, "Are you a bunch of chantry sisters or what? We've got drink, enough light for a few hours, and I need to win back all that coin your nobby ass swiped from me."
She finished the last part at Alistair who parted his hands in humble triumph before patting the pot. "I suppose it's only fair."
Flopping into her seat, Isabela hooked her boot up on the table and yanked out a dagger. Everyone held a breath watching the pirate as she slowly drew the back of the knife up and down her leg trapped below the leather. "Damn thing gets itchy. Okay, let's do this. Who else is in?"
"Karelle? Ghaleb?" Alistair asked, earning a shake of their head for each.
"I'm in," Reiss answered. She tucked her plate to the side and drew closer to the table. "But what if we switch to something other than Diamondback?"
Alistair smiled at her enthusiasm, while Isabela was drawn to her, "Whatcha got in mind, sweetie?"
After five hands the pirate queen was clearly upset but the rum smothered most of her anger into general cheekiness. Philipe sat perched upon her lap after the pirate "bought" him from himself, Isabela jiggling the poor man up and down as she reached for a drink. When Reiss threw out her last card, sealing the game, the pirate blew agitated bubbles into the glass and slammed it down hard enough yellow mead cut with rum and cherry jam slopped over the edge.
"We've got ourselves a ringer here. I've never seen anyone that good at pitch."
Reiss shrugged as she reached over to gather up her small pittance and add it to the pot she'd been slowly accumulating. "I never did Wicked Grace or Diamondback much, but this was all we played in the camp."
"Camp? Oh, did you attend Lady Everly's Camp for Wayward Girls and Others Who Like to Climb Trees?" Karelle asked, rising out of her mostly drunken stupor. She kept up a small game of flipping a biscuit back and forth with Ghaleb while also enjoying the gossip around the card table.
"Ah," Reiss didn't blush, but she turtled down into her neck while blinking rapidly in the light. "Not precisely that, no, it..."
Stretching his arms wide, Alistair interrupted her with a massive yawn. "I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm done. Be a true miracle if I can make it up the stairs to my bed."
"Wouldn't be the first time someone's slept down here," Karelle laughed before pointing a finger at Ghaleb who'd curled up on the extra chairs beside the door. He seemed as innocent as Spud when his daughter would collapse on the rug in front of his hearth, her special blanket draped over her. And there was still a good chance that baby face was plotting to kill him. Alistair wanted to ignore all that, it was the point of the room -- yanking off the crown, burying it in the dirt for a few hours, and being himself.
Trying to not groan at himself, he stumbled to his feet and dug into his shoulders. "Maker's breath, when did this knot up?"
"Getting old sucks," Isabela responded. She shooed Philipe off her knee, the youngest of them all, before staggering to her own legs. Cracking her neck with an expert snap, she shrugged, "At least that's what all your old asses keep telling me."
Alistair watched Reiss gather up her winnings in a small purse with a golden cord. That had to be a story. He knew so little about her, but...no, it was silly. Shaking away the hazy dust, Alistair staggered off to the door.
"If'n you're feeling bad we could always get that newest mageling to fix you up a treat," Philipe chuckled from his perch on the table.
That drew Isabela's attention instantly, "There's a new arcane advisor in the palace? I'm not too late to enter into the pool yet, am I?" She ended that question at Alistair who tried to slide away from it all.
"Nah," Philipe answered for the man at the center of this demoralizing group activity. "Near everybody's already gone in though. Let me get my book to check the dates available." He ran a finger across the thing while Alistair fought down the urge to chuck it into the fire. "Yup, damn near everyone."
"Except I assume the mage and royal ass in question," Isabela chortled before taking the book out of his hands to look for herself.
"Aye, oh, and the new bodyguard," Philipe said offhandedly, gesturing at Reiss.
Her coin scooping stumbled, sending a few of the coppers rolling out the door and towards the kitchens. "I, uh...should probably get that." Without looking up, she chased after her lost coins while Alistair followed her. He managed to find a single one while Reiss scooped up the rest. When she rose to her feet, her entire face was cherry red all save the nose which stayed ice white.
"Here, I think this was the last one," Alistair said, dropping it into her hand.
"Thank you, I..." she s
cooped it into the purse and clipped it to her belt. A woman who saved every copper she could find was one that knew what it was to go without. So many others tried to impress him by often tossing one away, sometimes silvers or even a sovereign which often led to the King turning the carriage around to pick the damn thing up.
Struggling down a giggle, Reiss smushed back her free hair behind her ears. He felt an urge to run his hand against those broiling cheeks, but kept both pinned tight behind his back. "I'm glad you decided to come in as yourself," Alistair smiled, waffling back and forth on his feet. "It takes some getting used to, but you're welcome to come whenever you like. They hold it about once a week, we each take turns gathering food and setting up."
"Even you?" she gasped.
"I'd be a pretty terrible leader if I made someone else wipe off chairs and hide away all the piss buckets." He felt silly saying it aware what a fool it would make him in the eyes of the bannorn, Arls, and Teryns, but she smiled and her summery field eyes wafted over him. Maker's sake, why was it hot in here too? There wasn't even a hearth blazing away.
"It was fun," Reiss said. "I haven't done this since the Inquisition."
"You're welcome any time, even if I'm drowning in meetings. Just ask Philipe because the man knows damn near everything," Alistair sighed, turning back to the kitchen boy who seemed to be secretly running things from the larder. Reiss smiled up at him, her thoughts hidden behind a mask he couldn't pierce. Nodding once at him, she stepped over to Philipe when Isabela snaked her arm around Alistair and turned him towards her.
"So," she jerked her head at Reiss, "that's a pretty one to have watching your ass all day."
"Is she? I'm too busy trying to find my own ass to notice," Alistair cut back with. He'd been preparing the quip for a few weeks but no one had yet to say anything to him. It almost seemed wasted on Isabela who stampeded right over it.
"Right, and the way your eyes were trying to peel every layer of that tacky armor off her were what? An employee evaluation?"
Love's Blush Page 23
