“So are you saying I should move out?” I didn’t know where I’d go, but the thought certainly did intrigue me.
“You’re really not in the position to. You just have to be aware of it and not let it get to you. I had to do it myself.”
I rolled my eyes. I was totally getting annoyed with all of his cryptic crap concerning his sister, but I didn’t even mention it since I knew he wouldn’t tell me what I wanted to know. “Maybe the two of us should get a place then…”
I knew it was bad when it exited my mouth, and it amplified once I saw his expression. “No, I mean like a base. I don’t mean we should move in together as if we were together…” Of course things didn’t get any better when I couldn’t help from accidentally laughing nervously. “I mean I don’t even think we could do it legally.”
I couldn’t quite read Julian’s face, which made the couple of seconds it took for him to come up with a response agonizing. “I’ll deal with my home problems, you deal with yours. It’s just the reality of the situation.”
“I don’t even know what home will be like when I get there.”
“If I were you, I’d worry about how I’d get through school today.” He patted me on my arm with fake sympathy and left me there pouting and feeling a bit neglected.
He had a point though. The trickiest class was indeed gym. In order to ignore Maria, I had to participate. She didn’t even bother going into the locker room since she never intended on participating. When I spotted her alone on the bleachers, she looked surprised and disappointed and that made me feel like a complete jerk.
Unfortunately, it was raining outside, so we stayed indoors and played floor hockey. Liz—the victim of my scandalous affair—was not only one of the captains that picked the teams, but she was friends with the other captain. I stood awkwardly in line while I became a victim of high school torture. I was the one picked last. I wouldn’t have been insulted except for the fact that everyone made sure to laugh and giggle about it.
Then when we were playing the game, everyone accidentally hit me with their sticks, except it was obviously on purpose. I was bulldozed by the captain of my team a few times too, but of course it just looked like typical roughhousing by a clumsy and uncoordinated girl, and it was inevitable that my smaller frame was bound to end up on the ground. Despite her not being friends with the pretty and popular girls, she still acted with the rest of the mob. I guess everyone hates a whore even though the ones pointing fingers were most likely bigger sluts than me. After the third time or so, I was about to lose it.
Why don’t you just let her have it? She’ll back down. She’s all size! I looked at my captain—Victoria—and she was a big girl who wasn’t only fat, but a bit burly. I’m not sure what my demon was trying to pull, but I wasn’t stupid enough to pick a fight with a girl that could crush me with one hand.
The game continued on and I was going head-to-head with Liz, fighting over the puck with our hockey sticks. We were shuffling and blocking each other quite fiercely, but then I saw a flash of evil in her eye and the smallest smirk curve at the edge of her mouth. Oh, no, she is not!
“Take this!” Liz drew back her hockey stick and slung it forward as hard as she could to hit my femur bone in my right leg.
I screamed in horrifying pain that caused tears to instantly well up in my eyes, along with a sudden surge of rage. “You did that on purpose!”
“I guess I have bad aim.” Are you going to believe her? How could I? She had such a devious look on her face! She’s just jealous of you, and she’s trying to make your life hell. She won’t stop until she feels satisfied and you know what it’s like to have a broken heart. You never stop hating the one who stole your man away!
“You dirty liar!” I reached my hand back and slapped her across the face as hard as I could. My aim wasn’t so good, and the palm of my hand hit her nose. I had never actually hit someone before, but I knew how bad I had hurt her, and it felt invigorating. “You’re jealous because you’re pathetic! Michael doesn’t want you. He wants me, and it doesn’t matter how much you cry and whine about it. You’ll always be his old slut who was worn out by a horny teenager that wanted you for nothing more than a good screw!”
“Don’t talk to my sister like that!” The satisfaction of talking down to Liz while she held her hot, red face disappeared when I was suddenly yanked by the back of the neck and thrown to the ground like a rag doll. I looked up and saw Victoria grinding her teeth as she was probably envisioning ripping me into little pieces.
I was terrified and very confused. I looked at her, then Liz, then back and forth a few times. They looked nothing alike in frame or features. I suppose their names were both old fashioned if Liz was indeed short for Elizabeth, but how was I supposed to know they were sisters?
Liz had begun to cry. Her face made it clear how much I had hurt her with her nose beginning to trickle down blood, but I don’t think that’s the only reason why. I had really hurt her feelings. I had a flashback of her in the cafeteria from the day before. She wasn’t just angry about Michael and me making out. Sure she was embarrassed, but she was also heartbroken. I wasn’t sure if Michael was a horny jerk or if my demon were making him attracted to me or what. But whatever kind of person he was, it was clear that Liz really cared about him.
I should have apologized one thousand times because that’s what Liz deserved from me. I should have begged for forgiveness so her massive sister wouldn’t mash me into the gymnasium floor. I should have started screaming for help from the gym teacher who was inconveniently absent for too much of the hour. Those were the top three things on my list of should of, could of, would of.
It’s too bad I had a history of suicidal tendencies. “Nice try, Tubby, but whales don’t intimidate me in the least bit!”
She grabbed me by my shirt and drew her hand back to punch me in the face. I should have been terrified, but I couldn’t wipe the smirk from off of my face.
“Stop!” Our teacher emerged from the shadows of nonexistence, blowing her whistle and waving her arms in the air wildly. I was dropped flat on my butt, but at least I was saved. Victoria was glaring, and on the border of growling at me, but I was sitting pretty with our teacher acting as my protector. “What is going on here?”
“She slapped my sister in the face!” Victoria yelled.
“And these two have been abusing me the entire hour!” I got up, and I wasn’t acting quite like myself. If I would have got into conflict like that at my old school, I would have meekly explained the situation as best I could. But I really would have never gotten into a situation like that at all. I was too non-confrontational. If I would have known slapping someone in the face would have been so satisfying, I would have released my stress instead of killing myself!
Our teacher didn’t know exactly whose fault it was, so she did the only thing every other teacher would have done. “Everyone is going to the office!”
There were moans, complaints, and all of the girls started yelling and pointing their fingers at me. Sure, I didn’t exactly look innocent with Liz’s tears streaming down her forehead as she tried to keep the blood from pouring out of her nose. My lack of compassion didn’t help either. I could gladly accept going to the office, but I was not going alone!
“I saw the whole thing!” Maria said from the bleachers, raising her hand and appearing like the innocent bystander that I needed on my side. “The girls were picking on Michelle.”
Liz yelled and pointed at Maria. “Are you really gonna trust that freak? You know what kind of person she is!”
Maria flinched from the insult. “Look at her legs!”
Our teacher looked concerned the more she examined it. “We need to get some ice on that and on Liz’s face.”
“I think they’ve learned their lesson.” Maria smiled and placed her hand on our teacher’s shoulder to get her attention. “They’ll stop fighting.” I’m not sure how to explain what happened, because it literally looked like nothing happened. I just
knew that something did happen.
“Hit the showers!”
I was shocked that Maria had somehow gotten me out scot-free. I tried to think about what she could have done, but there was nothing but a sweet smile. She had touched me before. Only Julian had warm skin like mine, so I knew she wasn’t like us. I had no idea why Julian said she was our enemy and I didn’t think he was gonna tell me any time soon. I had no idea what to make of her.
Maria was so sweet and helpful that I couldn’t turn her down when she offered to help me with my leg. She let me put my arm around her as she helped me to the locker room and got an ice bag for my leg. She literally seemed like the nicest girl in the whole world considering that I let Julian be so mean to her earlier. “Why are you helping me?”
She laughed to herself. I guess she thought it was an odd question. “Because that’s what good people do.”
“But are you really…Good?” I tried to ask the question nicely, but there really was no way.
She shied her eyes from mine, probably because they were shimmering and she wanted to appear strong. If she were an actress and if I weren’t concerned about a demon eating my soul, I would have stolen an Oscar just to give it to her. “What has Julian told you about me?”
“Nothing. That’s the weirdest part!”
She pouted out a pathetic looking frown. “Well, what have you heard about me?”
“Nothing!” She seemed disappointed with my answer, but I didn’t know what else to tell her. It was frustrating to me too! “I don’t know why people don’t like you or why Julian treats you like a demon. Would you mind elaborating?”
“I’m scared to.” Her voice quieted down barely above a whisper. If it were a decibel higher, she could have completely broken down and started blubbering in the locker room in loud and unavoidable wails. “I don’t wanna lose my only friend.”
Don’t you feel like the biggest douchebag in the world now? “Please don’t cry!” I tried to reach out to touch her, but my hands retreated back into my chest. I just didn’t know how to comfort people. No one ever showed me how. “You can’t possibly be weirder than me.”
She blubbered out a hysterical laugh. “You’re perfect!”
I laughed myself. I guess I did look like the cliché beautiful blonde with the money and no problems other than intimidated girls hating on me. I really did wish my life was that shallow instead of having so much depth in my darkness. “If I’m so perfect, then why did I kill myself?”
“You killed yourself?” I didn’t see her reaction, because I was embarrassed to look at anything other than my bruised and numbingly cold leg. She sounded surprised.
“Yep.”
She took a moment and thought about it before muttering, “Then you’re just like Julian…” I didn’t know quite how to read her. I think she was intrigued, but I had no idea why. I suppose it might have been interesting knowing two people who committed suicide and were revived. That’s the only thing I could think of.
“That’s why we’re hanging out. We have an unusual connection.”
“Do you like him?”
“No!” I didn’t mean to snap at Maria and shoot down her sudden hopes. “We’re just in a unique situation, and he’s good for me right now.”
“And you’re gonna do whatever he says, right?” On one hand, I could tell that she really loved her brother and would do anything for him, but I could also tell that she was somewhat afraid of him. “You’re gonna drop me and treat me like every other person in this school?”
I pledged to Julian that I would do whatever he said to make myself better. I couldn’t go back on that promise, especially after the demon had possessed me.
This girl has been nothing but good to you! If you betray her, then you’ll really have no soul. “No.”
Maria began to smile and then I knew for sure that I had made the right decision.
“Who am I to judge you? You don’t have to tell me your deepest, darkest secrets if you don’t want to. I’m not gonna ditch you. I won’t even tell Julian that we’re speaking. This will be our little secret.”
I didn’t take her for the hugging type, but she did it anyway. Maybe it was bad to defy Julian once again, but he couldn’t expect me to blindly follow his orders without some kind of explanation. He wasn’t my religion, and he hadn’t trained me to be an obedient solider. Being Maria’s friend would work out great. I’d make him see that…Eventually.
“Look at the freaks,” said Victoria from the locker room doors. It was a bit creepy that she was spying on us.
“How long have you been there?” I certainly didn’t want her to know about my suicide!
“Just long enough for that gal pal hug. I’m not really surprised that you two congregated together.”
“What do you want?”
“I wanted to say that I love my baby sister, and if you ever touch her again, I will rip your face off!”
You don’t have to be afraid of her. She’s all talk. “I never meant to hurt Liz. I didn’t know dolls had feelings.” I pouted and pretended to have a fake sympathy, but I smirked and started to laugh in her face, which made Victoria angrier. “Ken is my play thing now. The sooner Barbie realizes that, the sooner I won’t have to shove her face into the pavement.”
She raised her fist to strike me, but I didn’t flinch. She looked surprised and upset that I sat on the bench unmoved and unmotivated by her lame attempt to scare me. “I don’t fight in school, but I am going to make you pay.”
She’s bluffing. “Name the time and place. I’ve always wanted to harpoon a whale.”
She glared enough for me to know that if she were bluffing, she indeed wasn’t any longer. “Meet me in the back of the student parking lot twenty minutes after the bell rings and if you don’t, you will regret it.”
“What are you gonna do, eat my lunch?” I giggled, but it turned into a full-on maniacal laugh, which made her glare more. I totally wasn’t buying it though, especially not after she started stomping away with her elephant feet.
“Why did you just do that?” Maria asked panicked.
“Because she’s all talk!”
“No!” Maria grabbed onto my shoulders, and her eyes were wide, and she was literally flipping out. “She’s beaten up a lot of girls for her younger sister. She’s super protective of her and she’s never, ever lost a fight.”
“Oh…” It dawned on me what had happened. I hadn’t quite been myself for the class. I was so easily tricked. When I looked back and thought about it, it really made me sick! If I would have stopped and thought about how much of a condescending brat I was, I would have been able to realize that I was being influenced by the demon. “Crap!”
Chapter Six
Why? I didn’t understand why my demon had influenced me to talk straight into getting pulverized by a big, athletic girl who was overprotective of her bratty little sister. It lived in my body too, but maybe it didn’t feel pain or care about it. It obviously didn’t care about the repercussions of drug and alcohol use along with possible rape.
I needed to figure out what to do, so I went to the only person I knew could help. I couldn’t wait to get to physics class so I could see Julian. I got there a few minutes early, and he was the only one inside the room, probably because he didn’t have any friends to socialize with in between classes. I guess we were alike in that way. “I need to talk to you.”
I had slammed my books down on the desk, but he barely looked up at me. “Is this about your fight?”
“Yeah.” He sort of stole my desperate thunder. “You know about it?” I would have figured that Julian was far above all that playground gossip.
“Everyone is talking about it.” He laughed. “I overheard someone say they were hoping Victoria hits you so hard that your head spins around in a complete circle.”
“Julian!” I bopped him in his forehead so hard it made a nice pop noise. “What am I gonna do?”
“It’s obvious. You can fight and lose, or you cou
ld run away and let her torture you until she finds you and beats you up anyway, plus everyone will think you’re a coward on top of being a big slut.”
“Julian!”
He threw his hands up in the air and laughed a bit. “Those are your options. There isn’t a third.”
I felt incredibly defeated and lazily plopped in the seat next to Julian. I thought he was going to have some better advice. “You don’t think I could talk her out of it?”
“Something tells me you talked her into it.” He crossed his arms and leaned back into his chair so smug while he waited for me to admit that I had screwed up.
“So what? You wanna let her teach me a lesson?” I thought that was a bit freaking much!
“That’s what’s gonna happen, yes.” Why did he have to be such a jerk? It was like he knew I somehow disobeyed him, so I deserved to get my teeth kicked in. “It may hurt for a little while, but you’ll get over it.”
I honestly didn’t know what to do! I had never been in a fight before, so I knew I was going to lose. I was already injured for crying out loud! Could I even run away fast enough to escape Victoria? She ran pretty fast for a girl who must have been two hundred plus pounds. Then she was too powerful. How much weight did she have behind her punch? Was it possible for her to explode my skull? I didn’t even like being yelled at. How was I gonna take my skull exploding? “Have you ever been beaten up before?”
“No,” he said without one shred of compassion.
That’s because he let his demon give him strength when he couldn’t control his mouth. “Can the demon give me strength?”
He glared and spoke sternly. “Don’t even think about it.”
He wouldn’t get so defensive if it wasn’t possible, Girly. He’s got experience. Don’t you remember Maria talking about how much he loved to fight? He never lost for a reason. “Did yours give you strength?”
He got pretty pissed. “I never willingly made any deals with my demon, Michelle. I didn’t know it existed, and when I found out, I did my very best to fight it off. It’s still inside of me waiting for me to slip up, but I’m not going to and it doesn’t bother me.”
Almost Alive Page 8
