She looked at the clock, wondering when Paula would call her. Was there anything her sister could do to stop the fallout from the bombing?
“Are we going to the grocery today?” Alex asked. “It’s my turn to pick out the cereal.”
“Is not. It’s my turn!”
“You picked the Waffle Crisp last week. Didn’t he, Mom?”
Someone had picked Waffle Crisp, but darned if she could remember who.
“You picked it, Alex!”
“Did not!”
“Did too!”
“Hey, hey, hey! Stop it, now. Since I can’t remember, you can both pick out a box, OK?”
“Woohoo! I’m gonna get Lucky Charms, and you can’t have any!” said Alex.
“Yes, I can. You have to share. Don’t he, Mom?”
“Go get dressed, boys, before I change my mind and get oatmeal for breakfast all week.”
She ushered them up the stairs, then went to clean up the breakfast mess, her mind back on the center. And Linn. What if Linn or one of the other girls heard the news and decided to have an abortion because of it? Would Linn call back, or would she disregard what she’d seen on the ultrasound?
The trip to the grocery passed with only one major argument over who got to help push the cart. They went home and put the groceries away. There was no message on the machine, which meant Paula hadn’t called.
She began making a mental list of everything she needed to get done today: laundry, vacuum, clean the bathrooms—
“Mommy, will you push me on the swing?” Taylor asked, his feet swinging from the barstool. The untied shoelaces clicked rhythmically. “Pleeaaase?”
She sighed. “Honey, I’ve got so much to do today. Maybe Alex will push you.”
“I don’t want Alex to push me.” He propped his chin on his hands, the corners of his mouth pulling down.
She put the jugs of milk in the fridge. “Maybe I’ll come out and push you after I get the laundry and stuff done, OK?”
“You don’t have to do laundry. I’ll wear dirty clothes this week, OK? Please?”
She looked into her son’s big, blue eyes and felt herself caving. Would it really be so awful if she got behind in the housework? She remembered reading some poem about the chores being there to stay, but the kids growing up and leaving all too quickly.
She closed the fridge, feeling rather good about the decision. “All right, Sport, no work today. And not only will I push you on the swings, but I’ll take you to the park.”
Seeing his eyes light up and his back go straight was enough to make her wonder why she didn’t do this more often.
They put their shoes back on, and with one last glance back at the silent phone, Natalie ushered them out the door to the SUV. They would be back in plenty of time to grill out for lunch.
As she had since that night when she was attacked, Natalie thought of the terror she’d felt as she climbed onto the leather seat. Strange that she had gotten attacked for being pro-life, and the clinic had gotten attacked for being pro-abortion. What was this world coming to?
It was the perfect day for a romp in the park. A blue sky above, with the beautiful Tetons rising in the distance. She knew she took the beauty of Jackson for granted. It was hard not to when it was there every day.
When she parked, the boys scampered out, slamming the door behind them. She watched them run across the grass to the teeter-totter and laughed when Taylor jumped up, trying to get on it after his heavier brother.
She locked the doors, leaving her purse inside, and went to lift Taylor onto the teeter-totter. She sat in the middle of it and acted as if she lost her balance whenever the wooden board shifted. Soon, they ran off to play in the tunnels, and she made her way to the swings, where she’d sit until the boys begged for a push.
She was nearly there when she saw a girl sitting in a swing, facing the other way. The girl’s feet shuffled back and forth, hardly moving the swing. Her back was hunched over, her head was down, but even so, Natalie would have known her anywhere.
CHAPTER NINE
Linn lifted her foot and propped it on her knee, the swing swaying at the movement. She removed a wood chip from under the loose flap of her shoe. Usually, coming to the park made her feel good, gave her a quiet place to think, but today, it only made her feel sad. She used to come here to play when she was a kid. And now she sat here on the same wooden slat swing, pregnant with a baby.
She gripped the chunky metal chain with her fists. She wished she could talk to Megan or Trisha about this. But they had drifted apart since they’d graduated. They’d gotten full-time jobs at the Majestic’s restaurant, and Linn felt left out. She’d gone out with them a couple weeks ago, but all they talked about was waitressing, music, and all the hot guys who worked with them. Linn used to talk about that stuff, too, but now everything was different.
Guys weren’t worth talking about anyway. She wouldn’t be in this mess if she hadn’t been so gullible. She couldn’t believe she’d waited all those months for him just so he could dump her. Now her whole future was on the line. She wanted to go to college so bad. It would be like starting all over, where everyone didn’t know that your dad was a drunk and that you lived in the wrong part of town.
In college, she could just be one of the girls. One of the smart girls, who happened to be pretty nice-looking, too. At least that was what he’d said. She put her foot back down and shuffled through the woodchips, drawing a line through it with the toe of her good shoe.
“Linn?”
Startled, she turned. It was Miss C from the Hope Center. “Hi.”
The woman smiled as though she was actually glad to see her. It had been a long time since anyone had looked at her like that. Miss C took a seat on the swing beside her, facing the opposite direction.
“What are you doing here?” Linn asked, just before she heard kids squealing behind her. Dummy, she brought her kids. You didn’t think she came here just for you, did you?
“Just wanted to get out with the boys. I’m so glad I ran into you.”
Her face tilted, her eyes so kind, Linn felt like soaking up everything Miss C said and did.
“Do you come here a lot?” Miss C asked.
She shrugged. “Sometimes. Just to think.”
“I know what you mean. Sometimes I just like to get on a swing and push off and go as high as I can. Feel the air going through my hair, lean back until I’m looking at the world upside down.”
Linn had trouble picturing Miss C doing anything of the kind.
The woman laughed at Linn’s expression. “Even us old people can let loose a little, you know.”
“You’re not old.”
“Tell that to these crinkles at the corners of my eyes.”
Linn didn’t see a crinkle at all. Miss C was pretty in a natural way. Today, she had her hair pulled back in a low braid with wavy tendrils escaping on the side. She looked more like a teenager than an old person.
“Mommy, come look!” one of the boys called.
Miss C seemed to waver between staying and going. “I’ll be right back. You’re not going anywhere, are you?”
Linn shook her head. Where would she go? She wasn’t scheduled to work today, and home was no place she wanted to be on a Saturday.
She pushed off and pumped her legs. Moments later she was soaring up, almost as high as the fir trees in front of her. Coniferous trees, meaning “cone bearing.” She remembered it from Mr. Dooley’s biology class, ninth grade, fourth quarter. She loved science and was looking forward to the science classes she’d have to take for her psych degree.
She pumped her legs hard and leaned way back as she went forward. She closed her eyes, feeling the warm wind smack her face. A funny, fuzzy feeling came over her. Dizziness. She opened her eyes and tilted her head upright. Things seemed dark around her peripheral vision. She dragged her feet until she stopped and blinked hard. She never used to get dizzy on swings. Was it the baby?
“You OK?” Miss C set
tled into the swing beside her again.
She nodded, glad the yucky feeling had gone away. The nausea she’d felt for several weeks had subsided. Sometimes she wished it would all go away. Wished she’d just miscarry so she wouldn’t have to make this decision. What kind of a person thinks like that? You’re pathetic, Linn!
“You know, I was planning to grill out hamburgers with the boys for lunch. If you don’t have any place to be, we’d love to have you join us.”
Linn wondered if her kids would feel so good about it. Nothing more she hated than being unwanted.
Miss C seemed to sense her reluctance. “The boys would love to have someone new to show off for. They’re always doing their stunts for me, and saying ‘Look, Mom!’”
Just then a squeal pealed across the park. “Look, Mom!”
Linn’s and Miss C’s gaze met, and they broke into laughter. Her bigger boy was hanging upside down on the monkey bars.
“Very nice, monkey boy!” Miss C said.
What would it hurt to go to her house? She had nothing better to do today. She did like kids, and she had lots of experience baby-sitting. Maybe they’d like her, too. “All right, I’ll come. Thanks.”
Linn was rewarded with a big smile. “Great! You’re welcome to ride along with us. There’s plenty of room.”
“Oh. I rode my bike. Is it far?”
“No, not at all.” She explained where they lived, and Linn knew the area. It was at the base of the buttes, where the rich people lived.
She’d known someone who lived in there once. Stop thinking about that.
“We can put your bike in the back if you want.”
“That’s OK. I don’t mind riding.”
One day she’d have a car to drive, and she wouldn’t have to ride around on Megan’s castoff. If she still remembered how to drive, that is.
Miss C pushed off and began going higher and higher. She laughed like a little girl, and for a moment Linn felt jealous. She’d noticed the woman didn’t wear a wedding ring, so she was probably divorced. What would it be like to be so independent? Miss C seemed so sure of herself, so calm and capable. Linn felt just the opposite.
“Fifteen more minutes, boys!” Miss C called.
Linn figured she’d better get a head start if they were leaving soon. “I think I’ll start off now. That way, we’ll get there about the same time.”
“Oh, OK.” She repeated the directions to make sure Linn knew where her street was. Linn memorized the address.
As she hopped on her bike, Linn realized she was looking forward to the afternoon more than she’d looked forward to anything in a long time. It was a sad statement about her life. And how long had it been since she’d had grilled-out food? Her stomach rumbled at the thought.
For the first time in weeks, she noticed the tall buttes skirting Jackson Hole like a huge wall of safety. The summer sun heated her skin even as the warm air whispered across her face and through her hair. She felt her lips curve in a smile. Maybe everything would be all right. Her grandmother used to say that everything worked out in the end … or something like that. Maybe she’d been right.
The roads winded and curved. She took all the right turns and felt her legs burn as she pumped up the rise in the road. She was out of breath by the time she reached the right street. She turned onto it, vaguely aware of its familiarity. But she immediately began looking at street numbers. The first one on the street was 5665, so she knew she didn’t have too far to go. The first home was a huge two-story brick thing that had the look of an estate.
The homes were big enough to be hotels, with manicured lawns and flowerbeds. Streetlights, not the tall metal kind, but the shorter black streetlamps, lined the street. What would it be like to live in a place like this? She passed 5669 and looked ahead to the next one, which should be it. Something in the sight of it brought her heart to her toes.
Toot toot! A friendly horn sounded beside her, and she saw Miss C go by in an SUV. She pulled into the drive.
It can’t be … Linn’s heart spun as fast as her wheels. She braked, her tires bumping up the curb of the drive. Her bike coasted to a stop beside the SUV.
The house. She couldn’t take her eyes off it.
Beside her, Miss C opened the door of her car. “OK, guys, everybody out!” She opened the door behind her, and two boys jumped from the vehicle.
Linn looked from Miss C to the boys to the house. Maybe she was wrong. It had been dark. Megan had been driving. She really hadn’t been paying much attention to how she got here. Anyway, people sold houses. It had been over a year ago.
“Linn, I’d like you to meet my two boys, Taylor and Alex. Guys this is Linn, a very special friend of mine.”
Oh no. Oh no.
“And, Linn, I was thinking it’s kind of silly for you to call me Miss C. Why don’t you call me Natalie.”
Oh no. No no no. This isn’t happening.
CHAPTER TEN
Paula ambled into the kitchen and plugged in the coffee maker. A glance at the clock told her she could make it to church, but did she want to?
She pulled her silky robe around her and eased onto a barstool to await the aroma of her favorite Starbucks Breakfast Blend coffee. One of these days, if she could get David hooked on espresso, maybe he wouldn’t balk at the price of a commercial espresso machine.
A slip of paper on the counter caught her eye, and she reached for it. David’s neat script slanted across the paper.
Paula, sorry for my reluctance re: the testing. Wanted you to know I did make an appointment. Love you. David.
A smile pulled her lips upward. Well, that was a nice surprise in the morning. Sundays with a real estate agent husband meant a day alone while he shuffled from one open house to another. He would at least get home in time for dinner, and at the moment, some warm place in her heart wanted to fix him something special.
The phone rang, and she picked it up off the battery base. “Hello.” Still possessing her morning voice, she cleared her throat.
“Hey, it’s Natalie.”
“Good morning. Did you get my message yesterday?”
“I did. Thanks, that’s why I was calling. I’ve never done an interview. Should I do something to prepare?”
“No, relax. Russ is a real pro. The interview will last about five or ten minutes, but the clip they’ll show will be very short. Don’t worry if you mess up or have a memory lapse or something. They’ll pick something clean for the clip.”
“And it will air tomorrow?”
“Yes, in the evening. Russ will put you at ease and tell you what to expect, but don’t be caught off-guard if he asks you some sticky questions.”
“Sticky questions? Like what?”
The coffee stopped dripping, and Paula slipped her favorite coffee cup from the cupboard and poured the dark, rich brew.
“Well, if I were doing the interview, I’d probably ask something like, ‘Doesn’t the anti-abortion stance taken by the Hope Center encourage violence on abortion providers like the Women’s Health Clinic?’” She took a sip of the coffee, her taste buds instantly awakened. “Nat?”
“I just thought—well, I guess I thought he’d go easy on me since I’m your sis.” Her chuckle sounded wry.
“In a perfect world, he would. But this is the news, and they’re not going to air a boring, pat-on-the-back interview. It could be tense for you at moments, but you can handle it.”
“I’d feel a lot better if it were you.”
Paula gave a sharp laugh. “Oh no, you wouldn’t. I’d have to be my usual barracuda self, and you’d get all angry with me for it. No thanks. I don’t interview family.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“You might be interested to know that we did get some unhappy phone calls and e-mails about our coverage of the Health Center, though. One of the first ones was Gram.”
Natalie laughed. “Good for Gram.”
“How’s she doing these days? The Alzheimer’s—does the medication s
eem to be slowing it properly?”
“It really has. Thank God for meds. And, Paula, really, you could just pick up the phone and call.” Her voice softened the words. “Or go see her at the lodge. She and Hanna aren’t so busy they couldn’t stop and have lunch with you or something.”
Nat was right, she knew. She was so bad about staying in touch with people. She even had trouble staying in touch with her own husband, and he lived with her. “You’re right. Maybe I’ll pop in at church today.” If she hurried, she could be presentable in an hour. She could see her whole family in one shot; how was that for efficient?
“That would be nice. Just no matchmaking, OK?”
“You didn’t like Kyle?”
“I didn’t like being set up for the slaughter.”
Paula laughed. “It was hardly that. Just a friendly dinner. So does that mean he hasn’t called?”
“Paula …”
“All right, all right. If you don’t recognize a catch when you see it, I can’t help you.”
“I don’t want a catch right now, good or otherwise. Why is it so hard for you married people to understand that? And for your information, Kyle isn’t looking to make a catch anytime soon either. He told me so rather explicitly.”
“Ahhhh, that’s what I interrupted in the dining room that night. He’s got your hackles up.”
“I don’t have hackles—whatever they are. And in case you didn’t know, you can’t know if someone’s a good catch in one meeting.”
Paula knew Natalie was referring to Keith. Who knew when they’d gotten married that he would cheat on her and conduct his bank business so unethically? He was lucky to get off with only eight months in the pen after trying to sabotage Gram’s lodge. It was only because of Hanna’s mercy on Keith and Natalie’s boys that he got off so easily.
Paula heard Taylor squeal through the phone line. “Listen, I’d better go if I’m going to make it in time for church.”
Saving Grace Page 7
