Adam peers at me and raises his eyebrow.
“I can’t,” I say quietly.
“Chicken?” His tone is low.
“No. I’m just…wearing inappropriate undergarments,” I mumble. My face warms and I squirm in my seat.
He leans forward, suddenly very interested. “What do you have on under there?” His eyes dip down my body.
I shouldn’t be embarrassed. He’s seen what’s under my shirt many times, because we’ve been…active this past week.
I flip up my loose tank top, fast, to give him a glimpse.
His smile drops and his gaze lifts to mine in a heated stare. He breathes in and rubs a hand over his mouth. “Let’s get out of here. I can have them dropped off in ten, maybe fifteen minutes.”
I laugh. “Adam, we can’t.”
He reaches across the boat and pulls me onto his lap, kissing my neck and tugging down the tank to gain access to the bra I just flashed him. “Why not? Who cares about them anyway?”
“Uh, you do? Because they’re your friends?”
“If one of them was in my position, they’d dump my ass off faster than you could blink.”
I laugh and swat his grabby hands. One of his palms is sliding up my leg, and the other is stealthily squeezing the side of my breast from beneath my tank top. “You’re bad.”
“You can’t flash me like that and expect me to control myself.”
“You insisted on knowing why I couldn’t get in the water.”
He glances at me pointedly. “And now I can’t get the image out of my head.”
“Hey,” Mira calls. “What’s going on up there? You guys coming in, or what?”
“No!” Adam yells, at the same time I say, “Maybe.”
He shakes his head. “Hell. No.” He leans in until his mouth brushes my ear. “Your bra is see-through.”
“Well, I was thinking about you.” I wiggle to dislodge his hand from under my top, which has grown more daring with each second that passes. His fingers are inside my bra and he’s doing unseemly things to my nipple that have my heart racing. “I figured you’d be coming over later, and I might have dressed for the occasion.”
“And I thank you for that. But there is no way I want my friends looking at your beautiful breasts.” The hand I managed to dislodge from under my top tightens around my waist.
“Should I go in with my clothes on?” I ask.
His gaze drifts to the side, as though he’s thinking. “Are the panties the same?” I smile, and he shakes his head with a growl. “You’re killing me. You realize that, right?”
I wanted to kill him with my sexy lingerie later, not while our friends were around.
“I have a solution.” He reaches for the T-shirt he tossed in front of my seat and throws it over my head.
I stand and Adam’s shirt drapes to just above my knees.
I do the girl thing and maneuver out of the tank top with the T-shirt still on, and pull off my shorts. “Good?”
In answer, Adam picks me up and jumps overboard. “Cannonball!”
I’m gasping, choking and laughing, and slapping his chest. “Damn you!”
He grins and swims away, diving under the dark sea-glass-colored water. He pops up a few feet from me.
Mira’s laughing, so I splash her, and she splashes me back. And Mira isn’t nice about it, either. A damned torrent of lake water goes up my nose and into my mouth and eyes.
I dip under the water to get away. When I pop back up, Nessa is facing Zach, her arms wrapped around his shoulders, and she’s kicking water with her tiny feet at Mira and grinning like a loon.
Tyler shakes his head at Nessa. “Now you’ve done it.”
Mira’s expression is all determination. I know that look, so I do what any sane person would, and back up.
Mira directs her hurricane hands at Nessa and Zach and all hell breaks loose. I’m watching it go down, congratulating myself on getting out of the fray, when something snakes under my T-shirt and grabs my ass. “Ahh!”
Adam emerges and whips his hair to the side, a huge grin on his face.
I wrap my arms around his shoulders, because Mira was right: the water is freezing. “You scared the crap out of me.” He holds me up and I kiss his cheek, which is slightly chilled and a little stubbly, but I love him…
Oh my God. My smile falters.
“What’s wrong?” he says.
I cut him a quick grin and blink. “Nothing.” I run my fingers through his hair, close my eyes, and kiss his temple, my lips resting there a second too long, but he doesn’t pull away. If anything, he holds me tighter.
This was coming. I knew this was coming, but I thought we’d break up before something like this happened, or that my first impression of Adam would turn out to be true. But I can’t even see that man anymore. All I see is the one in front of me. Laughing with me, holding me, and loving me in a way no one else has. It’s hot and intense, and so gentle at the same time. And I never want it to end.
I need to ask Adam about Blue. Because I love him.
Not talking about work and what’s worrying me is beginning to feel like a lie. The last thing I want to do is lie to Adam.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Adam
We drop off our friends and swing by my place for a change of clothes.
Hayden glances around the living room. “Explain to me again why we never stay at your swank lakeside house? My place looks like a dump compared to this.”
I glance at the box-beamed ceilings and large view of the lake. “It’s nice, but it doesn’t do it for me anymore. Your place is you. I want to be where you are.”
She stares, and a slow smile spreads over her features. It melts me, that smile. “Okay,” she says quietly.
We head to Hayden’s in the XKR, and for a moment, I have déjà vu. I dreamt of this—driving through the mountains, unable to take my eyes off Hayden’s incredible legs, an intense feeling of wanting something so deeply and knowing I could have it. That she wanted me too. It was the morning I accidentally fell asleep in Hayden’s bed. And here we are almost two weeks later.
I grab her hand and squeeze it, peering over. She’s looking out the window, biting the corner of her lip. “Hey,” I say. “Everything okay?”
She shakes her head.
This wasn’t how things went in my dream. In my dream, she was happy, not worried. “What’s up? You didn’t have fun today?” I had one of the best days I can remember, but it’s no good if she’s not happy.
She glances over, that worried expression still on her face. “I had a great time. There’s just something I need to talk to you about.”
My mind races. She doesn’t want this. She’s having second thoughts about us. But I tell my subconscious to simmer the fuck down. “You can talk to me about anything.”
She exhales and her shoulders visibly relax. “Okay. I mean, I know I can. Or I feel I can. It’s just—this has to do with work. And where work is concerned, we haven’t always seen eye to eye.”
Fuck.
She’s right.
There are things about my job I can’t talk to her about. And not because I don’t want to, but because it’s not safe to. “Why don’t you tell me what’s bothering you, and we’ll go from there?”
She gives me a soft smile, then looks ahead and takes a deep breath. “I have to ask you about the Blue Stars.”
“Paul and the others?” I say. “Have they done something?” The thought makes the back of my neck heat.
“No—well, I don’t know,” she says. My eyes are on the road, but I see her studying me, out of the corner of my eye. “You never wondered what makes them special? In any other company, employees work together. But the Blue Stars are handpicked by the CEO and seem to have absolute control regardless of their position.”
I pull into her driveway and cut the ignition, turning to face her. “I’ve never thought about it. Favoritism exists in every company.” I grab her hand. “I don’t like the way Blackw
ell treats you. Makes me crazy. But try not to let it get to you. You are extremely competent and good at what you do.”
“But you’re a part of them—the Blue Stars. You support the way they treat me and the others.”
“I’m not considered a Blue Star. I work with them. It’s a part of my job.” I glance away, trying to piece together what this is about. “Do you want me to say something on your behalf? I thought you didn’t want me to step in for you, but—”
She pulls her hand from mine. “I’m capable of taking care of myself. Was doing it long before you showed up.”
“You started working at Blue just a few months before I did,” I point out, which only seems to annoy her further. Goddamn my mouth.
“What does that have to do with anything? They hired me because they thought they could control me.”
I shake my head. “Hayden, you’re drawing conclusions. Paul and William and the others are jackasses. Don’t let them get to you.”
“What about Blackwell? You think he’s just some jackass?”
I drape my wrist over the steering wheel. I’m in it now. Might as well go all the way. “No. I think he’s powerful. In ways you and I can’t begin to imagine.”
She sighs. “I agree. That’s why I’m bringing this up. Not because I need you to rescue me.”
She’s angry, but my own frustration is growing. “Why don’t you tell me what’s really bothering you?”
She crosses her arms over her chest, a subtle challenge in her eyes. I already know I’m not going to like what comes out of her mouth next. “I believe Blackwell is using Blue to conduct illegal business.”
Nope, definitely didn’t like where that went.
Hayden suspects something, or she wouldn’t have been snooping around the facility manager’s office. Looking for evidence, Lewis said. Hayden is trying to find out what she’s missing.
I don’t know what more Blackwell is capable of, but my imagination fills in the blanks pretty quickly, considering the resources he’s poured into Bliss, the lineup of ex-military at his disposal, and the mysterious source who’ll be sending drugs into the casino through hired escorts. And if Hayden knew any of this, she’d try to do something to stop it. She doesn’t want me to rescue her, but neither can I give her the information she seeks and put her in the line of fire.
I need to nip this in the bud and get her off the subject. “Suspicions aren’t evidence.”
“And that doesn’t sound like denial,” she says. “What have you been keeping from me?”
I let out a sigh. “I know what the rest of the managers know.”
That was a vague answer, but it was truthful. I just happen to know a few extra details in addition to what the other managers know.
“Not all of the managers are aware of Bliss.”
My jaw shifts. Those damn files in the facility manager’s office. I knew she found them. “I’m not allowed to talk about that,” I say. She shakes her head in disbelief. “This is my job, Hayden. It would be wrong for me to ask you for confidential information on employees. Please don’t put me in the same position.”
She gets out of the car, and I follow her to the porch. Hayden inserts the key and opens the door, standing on the threshold. “What they’re doing is illegal. Mira and Tyler know it. Lewis and Gen and the others do too. We’ve been trying to find evidence to take to the police.”
“Goddammit, Hayden.” I thrust stiff fingers through my hair. “Don’t use Blue as your retaliation for the past. This isn’t about you, and what you’re talking about is going to get you hurt.”
She lets out a shaky breath. “I’m doing what’s right. Are you?”
“How do you know what I’m doing is wrong?” I shoot back.
“Are you working with them?” she asks.
“Yes.”
“Then I have my answer.”
She moves to shut the door and I brace my hand on the wood, halting her. “Let me come in. Let’s talk about this.”
“There’s nothing to talk about.” Her voice comes out shaky, as though she’s trying not to cry.
My stomach rolls over and my chest tightens. I nudge the door open and try to pull her into my arms, but she steps away.
“Please leave,” she says. “I need time to think.”
“Are you kidding? I’m not the best boyfriend, Hayden. I’ve fucked up my share of relationships. But I know communication is important. Don’t push me away.” I graze my finger over the one she has on the door. “Let’s talk so that we can work this out.”
“I want to,” she says in a light voice, her eyes studying my finger rubbing a circle over hers. “But this thing between us happened so fast. And the things I suspect about Blue are huge.” Her gaze penetrates mine. “They’re important, not just to me, but to our friends and anyone else who’s been wronged by Blackwell and the casino. I won’t ignore things the way management did when Gen filed the complaints against Drake Peterson. Maybe this is my redemption for allowing bullies to run me out of town all those years ago, but it’s also dangerous to pretend nothing is wrong. I can’t let anyone get hurt if I’m able to put a stop to it, don’t you understand?” She swallows and takes in a shaky breath. “So are you going to tell me what’s going on with Blue and this Bliss thing?”
I glance up and let out a growl. “I can’t.”
This time, her eyes gloss over and she nods. “Then I can’t do us. Not right now. Not if you support Blackwell and what I suspect is happening at the casino.”
“Wait, Hayden. You don’t understand. And I can’t give you the answers you need, but if you give me time I will.”
“When?”
“I don’t know.”
“That sounds like evasion,” she says. “You haven’t exactly been forthcoming with information. Everything I’ve discovered, I’ve found out on my own.”
“Which I wish you would stop doing.”
I am evading her questions—for her own good. I don’t want her involved, and I’ll risk anything to keep her out of it. Even what’s between us, which is the first real thing I’ve had since my mom died. But Hayden is worth more even than that. I won’t see her hurt.
“Goodbye, Adam.” She closes the door and I stand there, my hands shaking, chest sawing in and out with the adrenaline coursing through me.
I slam my fist against the doorframe and stride to my car.
Chapter Thirty
Hayden
I cried myself to sleep two nights ago and continued to cry half the day yesterday, holed away in my house. I am torn in half—in love with Adam, and so furious with him I want to rail all over his ass. But I refuse to talk to him again until I figure out what’s right. Adam could easily seduce me into forgetting about Bliss. The happiness I feel when I’m with him is incredibly powerful. I let my convictions slip these last two weeks. I can’t let that happen again, now that I know he truly is keeping something from me.
Mira steps into the break room, where I’m standing by the coffeemaker, overcompensating for my lack of sleep with caffeine.
“Hey.” She scans my face and looks down at my hands. “You’re shaking.”
“Too much coffee. I’ll be fine.” Those damn tears that have been close to the surface reappear.
“Shit,” she whispers, and pulls me out of the break room and into her office two doors down. She closes the door behind us. “What happened? I just saw you on Saturday and everything was great.”
I let out a deep sigh. “I broke up with Adam.”
Her eyes widen. “Why would you do that?”
My head notches back in surprise. “I thought you didn’t like him?”
She sits in her chair. “Of course I like Adam. I’ve always liked him. I just thought he was a bit of a shit to his past girlfriends. But he’s not like that with you. The boy is in love. Like, deep love, Hayden.”
I shake my head. “No, you don’t understand. He’s not in love with me; he’s keeping things from me—lying through omission.” I flap
my hand at the door. “He’s involved. With them. The Bliss suites. Blackwell and the Blue Stars. He knows all about what they’re doing, and he won’t tell me anything.”
“Shit.” Her palms flatten on her desk. “What exactly did he say?”
“That he can’t talk about it. He wanted me to give him time.”
She blinks repeatedly. “Really? How much time?”
I stare at her. “What does it matter? He’s involved.”
She drums her fingers and stares off. “Maybe, or maybe he has a good reason for wanting you to give him time. I can detect a bad guy a mile away, and Adam isn’t one of them.”
I wince and screw my eyes closed. Mira grew up around vice and corruption. It’s a testament to her strength that she didn’t take the same path and die of a drug overdose like her mother. “I can’t ignore what he’s doing. If he’s involved with them, it’s not good.”
She walks around her desk and sits on the armrest of the spindly metal guest chair I’m in, nearly tipping us over in the process. She rubs my shoulders. “Do you trust him?”
I shake my head—my level of confusion has reached epic proportions. “My heart trusts him. But my head… What reason is there to lie to your girlfriend?”
Mira stands and paces off to the side. “I don’t know. I’d kill Tyler if he lied to me about something important.”
“Exactly. Lying is a deal breaker, and Adam admitted he’s bad at relationships.” I rest my head on her desk. “I’ll be okay. I just need time to get over what we had.”
“Sure,” comes her wry response. “You look like someone who’s going to get over it real soon.”
I roll my eyes at her sarcasm, but she can’t see it because my head is still on the table. I take a deep breath and wipe the tears and mascara gunk from under my eyes. “I’d better get back to work.”
Mira hands me a tissue. “Just consider it—giving him a chance. We’ve been trying for months to figure out whether or not there’s still something going on. Adam knows as much as anyone about the attacks. He knows Blue has had trouble. And he’s been a good friend to Jaeger. I can’t see him supporting something like this.”
New Blue (Blue Series Book 5) Page 22
