In truth, I wanted to throw all of this planning to the wind. Plans took up precious minutes, hours that I didn’t have. But if I didn’t plan, I was afraid I would lose the momentum I had and find myself spiraling into a depression like the day before, or worse, be caught like my brother and tossed in the dungeons before I had a chance to explain.
I needed reason and caution—two sentiments that were hard to embrace when my emotions were spiraling all around me, begging for action. Decision. Change.
I needed to be strong. With so much weight on my shoulders, I couldn’t afford a mistake, especially not now when I had just become a member of the Crown.
Now a princess of Jerar, I had access to things that even a mage at the top of my class didn’t have. First-rank Combat employed by the King’s Regiment, second only to Darren, didn’t grant me a part in the Crown meetings, but becoming a princess did. Only members of the Crown, the Crown’s Army commander, and the Three Colored Robes, the reigning Council of Magic, had access to those.
The important thing was, up until now, I had never been present in those dealings, and since Darren was in charge of the Combat mages’ movements in the battle to come, I;d been missing out on a great deal. Those meetings were where they planned a war, down to the strategy of every city’s regiment.
Now that I was part of the Crown, I had a chance to influence those plans in person. I would also have knowledge the rebels could never obtain any other way. Asking Darren a constant string of questions, even as his wife and comrade, would draw too much attention, but listening in on Crown talks would not.
I need to convince them to have a meeting, I realized, before Darren and I depart for Ferren’s Keep next week. It could be my only chance to pass along information to the rebels, and I needed to get all that I could now.
As much as it bothered me, searching the palace would have to wait. I stood, scattering papers as I put on an evening cloak. The castle’s temperature had dropped rapidly from the day before, and I was wearing yet another dress out of tradition for the week’s custom. Winter was rapidly approaching, and in a couple of weeks, we would have our first snow.
The palace air already felt like frost.
If Ella were here, she would be cursing up a storm. She hated the cold.
My jaw clenched. I missed my best friend.
And right now, she was alongside my twin in the rebel base, surrounded by people Darren was in charge of discovering.
Argh! I slammed the door of my chamber behind me. I couldn’t think about Ella or Alex or Ian or any of them.
I needed to focus on now. The one thing I could control, and that was the Council meeting.
* * *
“Absolutely not.”
“Mira,” Darren’s warning growl silenced the head mage of the King’s Regiment in an instant, though it did nothing to keep her frothing glower from me.
I wasn’t a cruel person, and more so than ever, I had to keep my hostility a secret, but Mira and I had never seen eye to eye. She was the one person I was allowed to openly hate.
We had a history, one of which the Crown was well aware of.
I shoved my shoulder past, throwing a bit of magic into my thrust, so that her back slammed against the wall with a loud thwack. The crunch of her chainmail against stone was satisfying.
That was for Derrick, you murderous hag.
I pretended to be oblivious to her snarl as I entered the Crown Chamber. Blayne, Commander Audric, and the other two Colored Robes were already present.
I heard Mira’s angry draw of breath and shut the door in her face.
It made me secretly pleased to note that she was right, I was a traitor, but not even Blayne believed her, all because she had been too vocal of her distrust early on.
To be fair, she had hated me from the start, ever since I disobeyed her orders during a mission to Caltoth during Darren’s and my apprenticeship. That hate had only multiplied since she had taken up residency in court and persecuted my brother.
I couldn’t wait until the day I exposed Blayne and his loyal right-hand for the villains they were.
Darren’s voice was low in my ear. “Was that really necessary?”
I feigned indifference with a shrug. Inside, I squelched unrepentant rage. It felt like I was sawing away at some part of my soul, bit by bit, small flares of pain sparking along my chest.
I took my seat at the left of the long rectangular table. Karina and Yves, the Colored Robes for Restoration and Alchemy, were already seated across. I sat with the king and the leader of the Crown’s Army, Eve’s father. Commander Audric controlled the largest regiment in Jerar; it housed over ten thousand men, though a couple hundred were always on continuous patrol while the rest awaited orders at a base just miles outside of the capital. Unlike the city regiments, the Crown’s Army answered to Jerar as a whole.
“So,” Blayne took the opportunity to speak, leaning back against his chair, looking every bit his father’s son, “why such a pressing meeting during a week of festivities. Surely, Darren, your wife can’t be so terrible in bed that you ache for war instead?”
My whole face burned, not just at the implication—which was terrible in its own right, but made worse because I had actually pushed Darren aside—but that the rest of room and his brother had been witness as well.
“You will leave my wife out of this.”
Blayne’s surprised gaze shifted from his brother to me, and a crude smile crossed his face as he caught my expression. His shrewd observation missed nothing. “Interesting.”
“Enough.” Darren’s curt command gave away none of the emotion beneath. “We have more pressing matters at hand.”
The young king gave a flick of his wrist. “So I hear, and yet you still haven’t revealed why the meeting was called.”
“It was for me. I made him call it.” I made myself break the uncomfortable pause. Best to put my anger to use. “I can’t stomach the thought of a week gone by playing the princess in love.”
Again, I caught the hushed intake of breath. The others thought it a slight to Darren, but it wasn’t. “Not when the rebels are loose, not while we are on the brink of war with a Caltothian king that could strike any day. Blayne, I’m blind to the state of this country, and as a part of the Crown, I deserve—no, I need—to know where we lie. I can’t sleep knowing that we put Jerar at risk just to give the crown prince and I a week of festivities. Your gift is too much.”
I caught the nod from the villain and knew I had won his approval. Nothing I had said had been a lie, even the fervor in which I used to tell it. Blayne had no reason to suspect anything amiss.
The Pythian ambassador had been the one who told me I was a terrible liar. I hadn’t grown up spinning lies like the rest of the highborn court. And so, I had found a way to spin my truth, never mind that the king’s interpretation was different than my own.
“I applaud your earnest appeal, Ryiah.” Blayne folded his arms. “But I must say it’s unwarranted. Commander Audric and the Council have seen to our strategy firsthand. There is nothing left unaccounted for.” His face hardened. “I believe this meeting was called for in error. Darren, perhaps reveal the reason behind your request before calling us to meet at such a late hour in the future.”
“Please.” My tone grew strained. “I can’t just remain in the dark. There must be some way I can help—”
“Ryiah,” Blayne’s reply was curt, “you are neither a commander of my army nor the Black Mage. You are allowed to listen in on our future meetings as a courtesy to your new position in the Crown, but that is all.”
My face fell. No, I needed information to bring to the rebels. This was ending before it had even had a chance to begin.
I tried to appeal to the one thing out of Blayne’s control, the loose end in his plot. “But the rebels are still out there—”
“Rest easy, lass,” the gruff commander spoke up at my left, turning in his chair. “No one blames you for your brother’s actions. My Eve was fi
rst to sing your praise, before.” His face contorted painfully.
There was an abrupt silence, and then Darren’s hand shot out to grasp the older man across the table. I had almost forgotten that the man had trained Darren during his youth, and his daughter alongside.
There was a look exchanged between the two, something deep, and I quickly averted my gaze.
But not before I noted the flare of envy in the king’s eyes. It was gone as fast as it appeared.
Darren cleared his throat a second later. “Blayne, Ryiah is right. We should discuss the rebels.”
“And we can, after the week is over.” The king’s words were sharp. “This time isn’t just for you, it’s for our subjects. They need something to inspire hope before we go to war.”
Once again, Blayne played the gracious sovereign. I caught Karina and Yves nodding along, never the wiser.
“Then send your brother to start the investigation now.” The commander had taken up his prince’s cause. “Darren grew up a warrior, Your Highness. Sitting and waiting is never something we do well.”
“I already sent out five units to our north.” Blayne sounded irritable. “That’s over sixty of your men patrolling the countryside, Audric. We are hardly sitting and waiting.”
Darren’s response was to laugh. “They aren’t me, brother. You can hardly expect the same level of competence.”
I saw my opening. “And how can you trust their reports?” A king whose legacy was steeped with lies would have trouble trusting anyone, especially with rebels abroad. “What is their strategy for scouting the villages? What sorts of tests must they run?”
Tell me your plans, I added silently, so I can stop them.
“I don’t trust the others’ reports,” Darren added. “Someone has not been doing their job, brother. I find it highly suspicious that we haven’t received one bit of information in all these years. Wherever the rebels are hiding, they have the townsfolk protecting them. Until I question the keep’s men myself, you cannot rule out the northern base. Their soldiers come from all over the north. One of them has to know something. You should send Ryiah and me now, never mind the celebrations.”
What? No! My nails dug into the table’s edge. This wasn’t where this conversation needed to go. I needed more information, not to leave sooner.
“You can keep the celebrations going, if you’d like,” Darren continued. “And Audric can continue sending his scouts, but you can’t afford to waste this opportunity.”
Karina cleared her throat. “I agree.”
“As do I.” Yves was nodding right along. “The Council is in favor of the Black Mage’s proposal. We cannot afford to wait.”
Commander Audric was in favor as well.
“If it is in everyone’s interest,” Blayne scowled, “then we will go ahead with this new plan. Ryiah, it appears you got your wish.”
I gave a weak smile, cursing my luck. The meeting had the worst outcome I could have planned.
“I’ll have Mira see to it that your guard is ready by sunup.” Blayne was first to withdraw from his chair, the others rising as well. The king gripped Darren’s shoulder in passing. “Don’t be a hero, brother. I want you to return in one piece.”
Darren gripped his brother in similar fashion, neither comfortable with an embrace. His expression was dark. “You know I will never leave you to rule this kingdom alone.”
Blayne’s voice lowered as we entered the hall. “I don’t care if you risk the others, but don’t risk yourself. This isn’t that blasted apprenticeship—”
“Gods, you sound like our father.” Darren ground his teeth. “I know what I’m doing, brother.”
The king growled in frustration and lowered his gaze to me. “You will keep him safe, Ryiah. The two of you are the only ones I trust.”
Besides the ones keeping your nefarious secrets, I thought, like Mira.
“I don’t care what he tells you. Do not leave his side.” Blayne snatched my arm. “Those rebels would jump at the chance to destroy this kingdom, and they would sooner slit a prince’s throat than listen to reason. I need someone on guard when my brother is not—”
“Blayne.” Darren tried to interrupt. “I can—”
“Promise me!” Blayne’s nails dug into my wrist. For a moment, I saw that boy he used to be, the boy that cared for his brother and no one else.
It was the only thing that saved him from a blade across his throat, that dark, twisted love between brothers that I couldn’t break.
At least we could agree about Darren. I had no intention of leaving the prince alone with the rebels, even less now that I had so little to offer.
What had Darren said to me that first year at the Academy? “You are possibly the one good thing about this place.” Gods, how the tables had turned. The dark prince had turned into a thing of innocence, and I was the corrupting shade. But I would protect him, and I told the king as much, fervently, my eyes glowing in the flickering hall.
“What a touching moment.” Darren raised a brow. “Out of concern for me, the most powerful mage in the whole kingdom.”
“Don’t think anything of it.” The king gave his brother a look. “I just don’t want to go through the trouble of replacing you.”
“I wouldn’t want to replace me, either.”
Blayne just shook his head and walked away.
Something tugged at my chest; I could still see the grin on the corner of Darren’s mouth. It was the same one touching the king’s.
“It doesn’t have to make sense. They fight and they yell, but in the end, they are brothers.” It was clear as day how much Blayne would break Darren’s heart in the end; we both would.
As soon as the king had disappeared from the premises with Mira alongside, the crown prince pulled me into a darkened alcove and tilted my chin. “You can try to protect me all you’d like,” he teased, “but I will protect you until the day I die.”
I knew I was doing the right thing, but just then, I felt like the villain. I sucked in a sharp breath to keep the hysteria at bay, and then I walked away.
I told myself I was the hero. Even if he would never understand.
3
We set forth at dawn.
Mira assigned us ten of the King’s Regiment for each member of the Crown, twenty in all. Five Combat mages each, two healers, two alchemists, and a total of six knights—our personal guard, Henry and Paige included.
Our trek was fast and efficient. Winter had yet to reach the midplains of Jerar, but it was cold enough that travel was less common for most. It helped that our procession was dressed as a standard patrol for the Crown’s Army. No one expected anything different, and so those that did traverse the King’s Road didn’t come to see a crown prince and princess in its ranks.
Most of the first three days were spent passing rust-colored foliage and barren fields. The fall harvest had come and gone, and many of the country’s youth were attempting their first year of study in one of the kingdom’s war schools, the rest sticking close to home, taking on the extra chores for a family trade.
We stuck to camping, not wanting to draw extra attention in any of the local inns. For the most part, the days were long, but I would have gladly suffered a constant sun to avoid the night and the jesting of our more brazen comrades. After all, Darren and I were husband and wife. The jokes that passed were innocent, but the silence that remained long after when Darren and I retired to our tent was not.
Silence and the momentary flicker of pain. Darren tried hard not to show it, and I tried hard to pretend I was blind. Even when he held me, as he had since that first night of the wedding, I felt a growing divide. Not grief, which would surely thaw, but guilt. It built with each moment that passed.
My nights were spent endlessly tossing and turning. If this is us now… But I couldn’t bear to think of the future. I just prayed to the gods it was worth it.
By the fifth day west, we had reached Demsh’aa, nestled at the base of the Iron Mountain Range.
I watched an older woman explain something to a young girl at the front. She had the beautiful blonde hair and keen blue eyes of my brothers. Brother. Her lips were pressed and hard.
A man at her right with curly locks and a crooked nose helped another young apprentice with a potion for one of their waiting clients. The shop was packed full with waiting customers. The flimsy boarding had been reinforced and painted over, and new brocade curtains covered the windows. It was easily the most profitable building in the whole square. The coin Alex and I had been sending home during the apprenticeship had been put to good use.
As I watched my parents, it felt as if a palm were pressing down on my chest. Their demeanor had changed since that last visit. They had dark shadows under their eyes, and they were slow to smile.
You did this. I made myself take a little step forward and another, until I was at the front. I waited for them to notice.
My mother was first. For just a moment, there was light in her eyes, and then it died. She reached out for her husband, and then my father turned and spotted me as well. They left the shop to the girls and walked me back to their house across the way. It, too, had undergone many changes.
For a moment, there was a stilted, uncomfortable air as the three of us entered the building in silence, and then my mother made a small choking noise, pulling me into her embrace. Her arms went around my shoulders and her face pressed against my hair. My father’s feet shuffled across the room, and then the pressure tightened until I was listening to their hitched intakes of breath, a wordless moment fraught with emotion as the familiar scent of woodsy pine and cloves enveloped me whole.
Last Stand: The Black Mage Book 4 Page 3
