15
When I awoke, I was in the Realm of the Dead and the gods had taken me far away from my mortal toils. There was bliss that came from ethereal freedom and no physical corpse to remind me of hunger and thirst and pain.
And then I felt something cool pressed against my skin.
I wasn’t supposed to feel.
But the sensation was so familiar that I had to open my eyes. I wanted to understand how I could still feel something akin to before.
I found myself peering into blue eyes as familiar as my own. I had been staring at them since the day I was born.
Alex fell back in his chair, swearing. “Thank the gods!”
He wiped a pale wrist against his clammy forehead, breathing deeply in and out of his nose. He did this for another minute or two while I swallowed, unable to think. Finally, he managed a shout: “She’s awake! Ella!”
There was the sound of boots squeaking outside and then a door creaked open to reveal my best friend, her expression equally wild.
“Ryiah!”
I blinked up at both of them, but my throat was coarser than sand. I could only manage to cough, hacking as I tried to push myself up off the straw.
My brother leaned forward to help as my friend charged forward with a flask she pressed to my lips. “Drink,” Ella ordered. “It tastes like death, but it will help with your throat.”
I took a sputtering sip, and then another. She wasn’t wrong. The liquor tasted like rot, but after there was a slow-setting chill.
“H-how…?” I gasped. So much for the after realm. All my pain was coming back. The effort to speak produced something gravelly and rough. “H-how did y-you two… f-find m-me?”
The two people I’d been searching for. Not only were they safe and well, but they’d found me. And I was almost certain they’d saved me from the brink of certain death.
My twin ran a hand along his neck. His skin was almost translucent. I wondered how many hours he had been at work, casting out the fever and the infection in my leg. The skin was starting to tingle and itch—my least favorite part of the healing. “We had no idea you were alive, Ryiah,” he said.
I took another burning sip of the flask, and then Alex handed me a water skin. I only managed a few swallows; the pit in my stomach had contracted from too many days of nothing. I was starting to feel sick.
“When our spy in the capital discovered you were caught, she sent an envoy.” Ella cleared her throat. “But when the news reached the keep, it was already two weeks too late.”
“We thought you were dead, Ry.” Alex’s voice was steeped in emotion. “Nyx sent the rest of her men packing to Caltoth, but Ella and I… we couldn’t, not without seeing for ourselves.”
“I’m so sorry.” I reached my hand out shakily, and he grabbed it, squeezing hard.
“You shouldn’t be.” Alex’s grip tightened. “I shouldn’t have let you return to the capital alone.” His eyes flared. “What they must have done to you in that prison—”
“Nyx ran?” I broke off my twin’s apology, unwilling to admit what had transpired in that cell. He didn’t need that knowledge, and it would only remind him of Derrick. I could spare at least one of us that pain. “Everyone is in Caltoth?”
“All of the keep and several northern villages.” Alex’s gaze slipped to the floor. “Nyx knew that without you, we had no hopes of swaying Pythus. She sent the regiment to rally the villagers and transport what livestock and supplies they could. She knew the king would find out eventually, but by then it wouldn’t matter.”
His hand was still clutching my own as he swallowed. “Ella and I were halfway to Demsh’aa when we saw the posters. We didn’t know until then that you had escaped.”
Ella handed me a lukewarm bowl of broth that had bits of oily meat floating on the surface. “Try as best as you can to get some of this down,” she said.
I nodded silently, taking a scoop as Ella continued where Alex had left off.
“There were rumors that the rebel girl had been spotted in Demsh’aa running north. We knew right away you were heading for the keep. We combed the forest for days but our real break was when that village got attacked and Mira’s corpse was found in the square. It wasn’t you that…?”
I shook my head. “Only Mira. The others… were h-her.”
“The next day we ran into the others.”
“Others?”
“The news had reached Nyx.” Ella touched my shoulder. “As soon as she found out you were alive, she sent out a search party to help.”
Alex looked me directly in the eyes. He already knew what I was thinking. “She wouldn’t do it for anyone, Ry, but you are far too valuable to the cause. As a mage and…” His eyes flashed. “Your relation to the new king. The moment she heard, she was willing to dispatch ten of the best we had even though the Crown’s Army was marching on Caltoth. We met up with them and Lief was the one to suggest this place. There were no sightings of you on the main road, and he thought you might have remembered it from before. Ella and I would never have known to look.”
I forced down a big lump of stew, trying not to grimace at the taste. I felt both their eyes on me, and I didn’t want the questions that came next. All I wanted to do was rest, even if I still smelled worse than any person ever should.
“How did you escape, Ry?”
“Alex.” Ella nudged her husband’s ribs. “She probably doesn’t—”
“It’s okay.” I swallowed. “I’m sure you both are wondering. I-I want to tell you.”
There was a moment where nobody spoke.
“The night before my execution, Darren sent Paige to help me escape.”
“But the war, he—”
“He didn’t believe a word I said. But how could he?” The air around me was getting too hot; I could feel it stifling my chest. “Would you have believed Ella if it had been the two of you instead?”
“I—”
“You wouldn’t.” I looked my twin in the eye. “He had a horse packed with supplies and papers for a ship to the east. He couldn’t stand the idea of an execution. It was the only reason I escaped.”
Silence.
“Where’s Paige?” My brother ground his teeth. “Did she choose the Crown?”
My lips turned to ice. “She never made it out. We were halfway to the gates when Blayne caught up to us in the kennels.”
The memories rolled off me like a wave. I’d fought so long to keep the emotion bottled up, but my hate returned; the room grew hazy with every word. “I spared his life for Darren.” I gave a sharp intake of breath as my fingers balled into fists. “But he had magic—”
“What?” Ella’s shock mirrored my brother’s.
“Not like us, but he had enough. I just barely survived.” Breathe. “And then he put a knife to Paige’s back as she was helping me leave.” The rage made my nails cut through flesh, and the tips grew wet with my own blood. “And I was so sure he would live. He was still breathing when Darren—”
“Darren saw you?”
My laugh was bitter as black spots danced before my eyes. It was the part that would drive me to madness. “He saw our horse. When he entered the kennels, he found me clutching a rapier with both of them on the ground, Blayne bleeding to death and Paige already gone.” My voice took on an edge. “If Mira hadn’t arrived, I could have explained…” My voice faltered and I bit down on my cheek. “But she was calling for the rest of the regiment and I knew.” I still remembered the way Darren’s expression had turned as he clutched his dying brother in his arms, betrayed by his wife. “Blayne would have executed me the moment he recovered. I’d have no chance to explain.”
Whatever was in that flask was drugging me to sleep; Ella’s arms wrapped around my shoulders to help lower me to the cot.
Then I shared the part that would haunt me for what little life I had left. “If I had known Blayne would die, I would have stayed.” My voice was slurring as I shut my eyes. “I would have found a way to convince Darren
of the truth.” This is all my fault.
“You don’t know that.” Alex’s voice was reassuring and soft. “Ryiah, Darren thought you killed his brother. You don’t know what he would have done.”
Ella’s voice was so quiet, a flutter of wings against my ear. “At least with us, you can help stop the war.”
Her answer was so simple. Perhaps, if I were someone else, I could have even started to believe it.
* * *
I awoke that evening a couple hours after the others’ return. Alex and Ella explained that for the past three days the others had scouted the nearby roads while Alex and Ella remained behind, tending to me. Then, they introduced me to the best Combat mages of the rebels’ force.
All of the faces held some degree of familiarity, but there were three my attention locked on almost immediately.
Lief.
Ray.
And Ian.
No one asked me about my escape. I suspected Alex or Ella had filled them in while I was at rest. But that didn’t stop their stares. The unspoken questions festered just under the surface.
Lief’s eyes were rimmed in red. All he did was clench and unclench his fists.
I wasn’t the only one who had lost someone. Paige’s absence hit him the worst. Whatever they’d had, it was gone. He had probably thought she was alive, fighting along the Crown’s Army… An enemy, but still alive.
Now he knew better.
The former lead mage didn’t say a word; he just stared at something along the wall as the others talked.
My guilt was deafening.
I forced myself to concentrate on my second bowlful of broth. I felt better than before, but it was nothing next to the thoughts dancing around inside.
“Ryiah is well on the way to recovery. Another four or five days and it will be like the fever never struck.”
“But we don’t have five days, Alex.” An older woman with a scar across the side of her face folded her arms against her ribs. She was the oldest on our squad, thirty-five years old perhaps. Her stamina was better than most. “You can continue her treatments on the road.”
My brother bristled. “Ry barely made it out of their dungeons alive and then two weeks on the run, she needs—”
“We can’t waste any more time now that she’s awake.” Our leader, a burly mage named Quinn, took over, casting an apologetic glance my way. “We have to leave now.”
Another young mage spoke up. “The Crown’s Army arrived at the border two days back. Gods only know how many we’ve already lost.”
“How many to the rest of us?”
“Almost four to one. We would have had more, but—”
“Half of Caltoth’s force was disbanded to hold off the Pythian warships attacking their shores in the north. The border doesn’t stand a chance. Horrace’s regiment doesn’t train like Jerar. Our worst soldiers outperform their knights, and their mages’ stamina isn’t even close.”
“Believe me”—Quinn’s voice was laced with regret as he spoke over the others—“if there were any other choice…”
“But every day you remain, hundreds die.” It was a matter of fact.
He nodded. I could see why Nyx had appointed the giant our leader. He was calm and direct, seeming to weigh every decision in his head before he spoke.
“I’ve made it this far. I can manage the rest.”
My twin made a disgruntled sound to my left, but aloud he said nothing.
The room’s occupants started to disband. “We leave in two hours. Alex, since you are in charge of her recovery, Ryiah will share your mount.”
“Is that it?”
All eyes, including mine, shot to the curly haired mage at the back of the room. Ian’s arms were folded across his chest as he glowered at our leader. “So,” he spoke slowly, “are you going to tell her exactly why she doesn’t need to be fully recovered, or am I?”
“I already told Ryiah. Alex can heal her on the road.”
“That’s not the only reason, and you know it.”
“Ian?” My pulse hammered in my throat.
“You know what our mission is?” His green eyes locked on my own. “To stop him.”
I nodded. This wasn’t any surprise. It was the only reason Nyx would have risked her best men to hunt me down during the middle of a war. “You want me to negotiate, to reason with Darren.” Because I was the only one he would listen to.
“No one thinks he will listen.” Ian took a step closer, advancing. “No one cares, Ryiah.”
“What are you—”
“You’re bait, to lure the king away from his guards.” The mage’s irises flashed. “The posters called for you to be brought in alive. Darren feels something, whether he wants to kill you himself—”
My lips parted, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak.
“—or lock you in a dungeon, it makes no difference. He wants you. He disbanded part of his regiment to hunt you and offered up a reward large enough to make any friend take part in the bounty. He slipped up, Ryiah. Darren made a mistake.”
Ian took another step forward until he was right in front of me. No one made a move to stop him. He took a long, shuddering breath, and my gaze slipped to Quinn and the others behind him. Not even Ray would look me in the eye. Only Alex and Ella were watching me, seeming equally curious to what our friend would say next.
“We aren’t here to negotiate with the king, Ryiah. We are here to kill him.”
My heart stopped. “But Nyx promised—”
“She gave us the orders herself, Ryiah.”
“No.” A cold sweat broke out along my skin. The tremors were back. “That’s not what she said. That’s not what she—”
“The last time you spoke to the commander, Darren’s brother was king.”
“But that doesn’t matter.”
“It changes everything.” Quinn dared to meet my gaze. “Ryiah, whatever she promised you, surely you can see the situation has changed. Before Darren was under his brother’s orders, but now…”
“Now their deaths rest on him.” Ian’s voice was bitter. “I am sorry, Ryiah, but I thought you deserved to know the truth.”
Ella put a hand on my wrist. Her skin was just as clammy as my own. “If he agreed to surrender, couldn’t we just toss him in a cell? I’m not saying we forgive his actions, but surely—”
Quinn shook his head. “Darren is far too powerful. As long as his bloodline remains, Jerar will never be safe.”
“But”—my hands were shaking—“if he surrendered and gave up all ties to the kingdom?”
“It’s not enough. His blood is a threat to all future reign. So long as he is alive, there would always be dissenters calling for the old legacy, not to mention the riots for a man who has killed thousands—”
“But it’s not his fault!”
The entire room went silent. Everybody stopped moving except for Alex who had come to stand beside Ella and wrap an arm around my trembling frame.
“Ryiah—”
“No! You are going to listen to me.” I forced myself to stand on wobbling limbs, shoving aside my brother and friend to face our leader. “Darren believes the lies his brother gave him. He is not Blayne. Blayne knew the truth and planned to wage this war out of greed.”
“The circumstances—”
“Darren might be king,” I spat, “but it’s his brother’s war. Not his. Those. Lives. Are. Not. His. Do you intend to punish every single soldier in the Crown’s Army? Because ten thousand men are following a lie?”
“It’s not the same.”
“It’s exactly the same!” I swore at Quinn. “Don’t you get it? Any one of us could be them! The only difference is Nyx found us and gave us the truth. Nyx cannot hold Darren accountable!”
“Ryiah.” Quinn’s tone was gentle, calming even. “A leader is held to a different standard than his men. And your brother already told us you tried to reason with Darren. The king refused to listen. He was given a chance, but he refused to take it.”
My eyes shot to Alex, betrayed; my twin looked sick to his stomach.
“Quinn,” Alex pleaded, “that wasn’t what I—”
“I’m sorry.” And our leader truly looked it. “I really am. But—”
“I don’t care!” My scream broke whatever apology Quinn was attempting. Everyone’s eyes were on me, the pressure making me see red.
“I have sacrificed everything for this cause.” Ella attempted to place a hand on my shoulder, but I threw it off. My fingers balled into fists. “Everything. More than you. More than Nyx. More than the rest of you put together. I lost my brother. I betrayed my husband. I gave up the crown. I was willing to die in the gods’ forsaken dungeons just to keep all of you alive! And the one thing, the one thing I asked was for Darren to be spared!”
“You don’t have to come with us.” A pair of green and gold-flecked irises met my own. Ian turned toward his leader. “We came here for Ryiah, but we can do it without her.”
“Ian—”
“Give her a gods’ blasted choice, Quinn.”
The man went silent.
My friend looked me dead in the eyes. “You’ve given up more than any of us, Ry. Nyx gave us orders, and I agree with her reasoning, but you deserve the chance to walk away. I know what he was to you.”
* * *
So that was my choice. Lure Darren to his death or walk away and sentence the others to their death.
It was never supposed to come to this. My fist found the wall, and there was a resounding crack as the wood splintered and broke. I pulled my hand away, dripping blood.
I didn’t feel a thing. Not physically.
The others were gone. They had given me two hours to make my decision—the time it would take for them to repack their supplies. Alex and Ella had remained inside.
“We didn’t know, Ry.” Ella’s voice shook. “I swear, when they told us Nyx’s orders, they didn’t tell us that.”
I said nothing. I had seen the look on their faces during Ian’s announcement. Alex might not have been Darren’s biggest fan, but even he had been surprised.
“What do I do?” My voice was hoarse.
“Whatever you choose—” Alex swallowed. “—we will stand by your decision, Ry. Ian is right. You’ve given up so much, you don’t have to do this too.”
Last Stand: The Black Mage Book 4 Page 23
