by Lucy Gordon
Somewhere behind her she heard Drago draw in a sharp breath, but she couldn’t let herself be distracted now.
‘Was James your friend who died?’ Tina asked softly.
‘Yes. I backed out at the last minute, so he and your mother went up together, and then-Well, they died together. He was the man in the chair with her. That’s why I was there at the memorial, the day we met. I couldn’t tell you before. I couldn’t bear to speak of it.’
She held her breath, wondering if she’d done enough to ease the little girl’s heart. She had her answer a moment later when Tina pulled herself free of Elena and threw herself into Alysa’s arms.
‘Did you love him terribly?’ she whispered.
‘Yes,’ Alysa said quietly. ‘I loved him terribly.’
‘And do you love Poppa now?’
Alysa turned her head to where she could see Drago, watching her in the doorway, his eyes full of fear and hope.
‘Yes,’ Alysa said. ‘I love Poppa now.’
‘Does Poppa love you?’
‘Yes,’ Drago said. ‘He does.’
Tina struggled free and ran across the room to be seized up in his arms. Alysa watched them a moment before looking back at Elena, who’d folded her arms across her body, shaking.
‘So you’ve got what you wanted,’ she moaned. ‘But I’ve lost everything.’ Her wail filled the room.
‘Alysa, let’s get out of here,’ Drago urged.
‘Not yet. I still have something to do.’
She moved along the bed to where Elena was huddled, and put her arms around her.
‘You haven’t lost everything,’ she said. ‘Tina is still your granddaughter. She still loves you and she always will.’
‘But he won’t let me see her, not after this.’
‘Drago won’t part you from Tina,’ Alysa assured her. ‘He knows she needs you too, because you knew Carlotta longer than anyone.’
Elena turned suspicious eyes on Drago. ‘Does she speak for you?’ she demanded.
‘She does,’ he said gravely. ‘Whatever she agrees to, I will honour.’
‘You say that while she’s here, but-’
‘I’m going to be here for a long time,’ Alysa said. ‘You have nothing to fear.’
Elena looked at Drago. ‘Don’t hate me,’ she pleaded.
‘I’ll never hate you,’ he told her. ‘You are still Tina’s grandmother.’ He glanced at Alysa. ‘It is just as she says. It always will be.’
‘But you’ll forget Carlotta.’
‘No, he won’t,’ Alysa said quickly. ‘Carlotta will always be his real love.’
‘You say that?’
‘I’m just second best. That won’t change.’
She was watching Elena, so didn’t see Drago staring at her just before he carried Tina out of the room. Alysa, her heart torn with pity, gave Elena a final hug then went out to speak to Leona.
‘I think she really needs to see a doctor,’ she suggested.
‘I know,’ Leona said. ‘Don’t worry, she can stay with me a while, and I’ll make sure she gets help.’
She looked at Alysa and Drago standing together, and gave a little nod of sad acceptance.
In the car the three of them sat together in the back seat. Tina was in her father’s lap, clinging to him, eyes closed. Alysa glanced over, taking in the sight of them, contented in each other’s arms, then she turned away to stare unseeingly out of the window. She needed a little time to take in what she’d done.
She had told Elena that she was coming to Italy for good, speaking on impulse with no time to consider all the implications. But they were huge. In one moment she’d tossed aside the partnership she’d striven so hard to win, and possibly her whole career. Who knew what use her qualifications would be in this country?
And she, a woman who’d always prided herself on thinking every problem through, had done it without a moment’s thought. Was she mad?
Turning slightly, she looked again at Tina and Drago, both with their eyes closed, Tina with her head against her father’s chest, Drago with his head resting on his child’s hair. And she knew the answer to her question.
Yes, she was mad.
Wonderfully, gloriously mad. Mad in the way only the most fortunate on earth were mad. Heroically, blissfully mad, with the madness that lay at the heart of creation.
If her qualifications were useless here, then she would learn Italian properly and start all over from the beginning. She would do anything rather than say goodbye to Drago. No effort was beyond her, no task too great, as long as she was with him.
When had it all been decided? Long ago? Or tonight, when Drago had looked at her, imploring, putting his whole life at her mercy?
And did it matter when the decision had been made, as long as it was the right one?
As they entered Florence Tina awoke and began to look out at the streets, where the Christmas lights were still on.
‘We’ve got lots of decorations up in the villa,’ she confided to Alysa. ‘And a crib. You’ll like it.’
She closed her eyes again, but her hand was clutching Alysa’s as though she feared to let her go.
As they reached the villa Tina opened her eyes again, looking quickly at Alysa, checking to make sure she was there.
They put her to bed together and kissed her goodnight. She was already asleep as they crept out of the room.
‘What will Brian do when you don’t come back?’ Drago asked quietly.
‘Aren’t I going back?’
‘You’d never have said those things to Tina if you hadn’t meant them.’
‘That’s true.’
He led her into his own room and took her into his arms. Despite everything that had gone before, she knew that this was the first kiss of their love, the first time everything had been clear between them.
Except for one thing, her mind nudged her. But he must never know about the letter. She would keep that secret all her days, and if that meant being second best she would live with that rather than let him be hurt.
But she was strong. She would make him so happy that he would forget Carlotta. If she had still wanted revenge, that would have been the perfect way. But revenge was far from her heart now.
‘Thank you for making Tina happy,’ he said softly.
‘Did I do the right thing?’
‘You did the only thing possible to stop her heart breaking. She may have to know the truth one day, but by then she’ll be strong enough to bear it.’
‘I hope so,’ she murmured.
‘I think I knew something like this would happen, that’s why I wanted you and nobody else. You see, I’d already discovered how good you were at protecting people from truths they couldn’t bear.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘Did you think I didn’t know that you did the same for me?’
She stared at him.
‘The letter,’ he said. ‘The one in which Carlotta admitted she’d been unfaithful often before, a letter that mysteriously vanished.’
‘But you-how did you-?’
‘I looked in while you were reading it. I saw your face, and I saw how quickly you shoved it away to avoid showing it to me. When you’d gone to bed, I found it and I read it. Next morning it had vanished. I guessed that you’d taken it to protect me.’
‘You’ve known since February?’
‘I think in my heart I always knew about Carlotta before that, but I wouldn’t admit it. I was hiding from the truth, and when I had to face it, it was almost as though something inside me grew quiet. I’d tormented myself with wondering. Now I didn’t have to wonder any more, and there was a kind of peace in that.’
‘I thought it would break your heart,’ she said.
‘And you tried to protect me, which was more than I deserved. All this time I’ve wondered if you’d change your mind and would tell me everything, but you never did. Last time you were here I tried to provoke you into an admission, but you held firm. I hadn’t kno
wn such generosity existed. It gave me hope of winning your love.’
‘How could I have let you see that letter, after what you said about clinging to your memories? It would have hurt you unbearably.’
‘But you never understood my love for you, or you wouldn’t have spoken of being second best. You could never be second best, don’t you realise that?’
‘Maybe I do now,’ she whispered.
A great load had gone from her heart, leaving her free to love him totally without the slightest fear or reservation. Joy possessed her whole being.
‘Could you really have gone through our life thinking of yourself as second best?’ Drago asked.
Her smile was a mysterious enticement.
‘If I had to,’ she said. ‘But there are ways to make you completely mine. I have my plans. You’ll find out in time.’
‘What better time than now?’ he said, drawing her to the bed.
They made love drowsily, not frantic with urgency, but with the leisurely pleasure of people who knew they had all their lives. They were both tired after the long, dramatic night, but they needed this union to reaffirm that they belonged to each other heart, body and soul.
Dawn was beginning to creep around the blinds when he said, ‘I need you as much as I love you. You’re stronger than I am.’
‘I’m stronger in some ways,’ she murmured. ‘You’re stronger in others. It works out just fine.’
‘Only if you stay with me.’
‘Always-always.’
Later he said, ‘When did you decide to stay?’
‘When I knew that if I went back I’d have abandoned you to whatever life did to you. I couldn’t do that. Would you have let me go?’
‘Not for long. If this hadn’t happened, I was going to call you anyway, about James. I’ve been doing some investigating for you. We can have him sent to England, but it would be a lot simpler to have him reburied here in a larger plot in the same cemetery. In fact…’
He seemed to become awkward and a suspicion rose in her.
‘What have you done, Drago?’
‘Well, you know me-the way I arrange things first and consult people afterwards, like a bulldozer. I made a few preliminary arrangements, just to get things started, and will continue only if they meet with your approval,’ he finished hastily.
‘What kind of preliminary arrangements?’
‘I’ve found a good plot. He’ll have a proper stone with all his details, and you can put James’s photograph on it. You see, I thought-’ He stopped, tongue-tied.
‘Go on,’ Alysa said with a little smile.
‘I thought, if he was there, you’d want to visit him so you’d keep coming back. The plot isn’t far from Carlotta, so even if you didn’t tell me you’d arrived I could visit her at the same time and we’d bump into each other.’
‘But how would you know what the right time was? Oh, of course. Silly question. You’ve got them all in your pocket, and there’d be a call to you as soon as I arrived. Someone would find out my hotel, and persuade me to return next day-’
‘I had to find a way to lure you here if you didn’t return willingly, and then-Well, it might have taken some time, but in the end you’d have realised that I was right and you belonged with me.’
‘You don’t even see obstacles, do you?’ she demanded. ‘Can I work in this country? Do my qualifications count?’
‘Actually, I’ve been investigating that too. It’s a bit complicated, but it can be done, and I know someone who’ll help.’
‘You’re such a schemer,’ she said tenderly.
‘Nonsense, I just like my own way-about everything-all the time. What’s wrong with that?’
She leaned close so that her hair fell on his face. ‘Did you just make a joke?’
‘I don’t know. Did I?’
‘It had better have been a joke.’
‘Don’t pretend to be alarmed. You do what you like with me, and you know it.’
She laughed and kissed him.
‘I guess Tina was right about you.’
‘She told you I was a softy, didn’t she? I got it out of her in the end. It cost me a few cream buns-and a new doll, and some shoes, and books about her favourite cartoon character, and I forget the rest, but she drove a hard bargain.’
‘Her father’s daughter,’ Alysa mused.
They laughed and embraced, but after a moment she said, ‘I’ll have to go back to England and work out my notice. I can’t just let them down.’
‘I know you won’t do that.’
‘I’ll be here for Christmas, and every weekend until my notice is over.’
‘Just promise to return here finally, and become my wife. I’m a patient man, beloved. I’ve waited for you this long. I can wait a little longer, if I know that you’ll be mine in the end. As you were always meant to be.’
Two days before Christmas Eve the weather turned nasty. Planes were delayed, and those waiting for loved ones lingered anxiously at airports.
‘She should be here by now, Poppa,’ Tina said anxiously, staring out of the window into the black sky.
‘The board says the plane will be late, cara. We just have to be patient.’
‘But she will come, won’t she?’
And just for a moment the little girl was back in time, waiting for her mother’s return, waiting, waiting…
Drago heard the echo and quickly dropped down beside her.
‘Of course she’s coming, darling. It’s only the weather.’
‘But there could be an accident?’
‘No, look up there.’ He pointed up to the sky where lights had just appeared in the distance. ‘There’s a plane coming in now.’
Let it be Alysa’s, he prayed silently. Beside him he could feel that Tina was tense as both of them kept their eyes on the incoming lights.
Down they came, lower and lower, until the plane touched the ground, screaming away down the runway, out of sight until it could turn and taxi back.
Let it be hers-let it be hers.
‘Poppa, look!’
Tina was pointing up at the board where against the London flight the red ‘delayed’ had changed to the green of ‘landed’.
‘She’s here, she’s here!’ Tina was dancing with excitement.
Drago grinned broadly, wishing he could join her.
They hurried to the barrier to greet her, and at the first glimpse Tina rushed away, hauling her father after her.
‘You’re home, you’re home!’ she squealed.
‘Yes,’ she said softly, her eyes on Drago. ‘I’m home.’
Drago’s driver had almost gone to sleep waiting, but he roused and greeted her with a wave as they exited the airport hand in hand.
They all sat in the back of the car. Alysa took Tina onto her lap, wrapping her in her arms while the little girl babbled happily on their way to the villa.
‘Look, it’s snowing really hard.’
‘So I see,’ Alysa said, gazing out of the window to where the white flakes filled the air. ‘I’m glad that waited until I landed.’
‘Was it a bumpy flight?’ Drago asked.
‘A bit, and I’m not a good flyer. But I just kept thinking about what was waiting for me here-both of you, and the future we’ll all have.’ She met Drago’s eyes again. ‘The journey can be easy if you know what journey’s end will be.’
She knew, because Drago had told her in a phone call two days ago, that this journey’s end would include a meeting with the head of a local accountancy firm who had ‘matters to discuss’ with her. She was looking forward to that. Brian had been more reasonable than she’d dared to hope, and her release might be in as soon as six weeks. For this the ambitious Frank could take some credit, having avidly scooped up her clients in a way that had reminded Alysa of herself as she had once been.
The other person who would be waiting for her in the villa was Elena.
‘I promised her that she wouldn’t be shut out,’ Drago had explained on th
e phone.
‘And this is the perfect time to prove it,’ she’d agreed.
‘The thing is, she doesn’t seem able to accept reassurance from me. It has to be you.’
‘How is Tina with her? Does she seem frightened after what happened?’
‘Strangely enough, no. I explained to her that Nonna wasn’t well because she was so unhappy about Carlotta, and Tina understood at once. Now, as well as mothering me, she mothers Elena. Give her half a chance, she’ll start mothering you.’
Now, as they drove up to the villa, Alysa could see Elena’s pale, anxious face looking through a window, and she knew what she had to do-not only for Elena, but for Tina, who was watching closely.
So she burst into the house with a happy smile on her face, her arms thrown wide in greeting, and had her reward in Elena’s look of passionate relief as they hugged each other. There was no more to be said.
‘Now it’s time you were in bed,’ Drago told Tina.
‘Please, Poppa, let me show Alysa the crib first?’
‘I’d like to see it,’ she said.
It was there, dominating the hall. Unlike the one she’d had two years ago, it was an expensive creation, but there at its heart was the same beauty and simplicity. Mary sat by the crib, her face radiant and tender as she watched over her child, while Joseph stood just behind, never taking his eyes from the two creatures that were his to love and protect.
‘He’s just been born,’ Tina explained. ‘And Mary is so happy that she has him.’ She added confidingly, ‘Mamma told me that.’
‘And he’s happy too,’ Alysa said softly. ‘Because he has his mother, and they make a family, even though-’ she spoke carefully ‘-he has another family as well. Because you can love more than one person, even more than one mother.’
‘Yes,’ Tina said firmly.
‘Now it’s time for you to go to bed,’ Drago said. ‘We’ve got a big day tomorrow, with lots of shopping to do.’
‘Why don’t you ask Nonna to take you up?’ Alysa said, indicating Elena.
They watched the old woman and the child climbing the stairs together, contented again in each other’s company.
‘I was afraid Tina might not be able to accept me,’ Alysa said in wonder. ‘But she did, from the first moment.’