"What are we doing here?"
"Tristan, Pavia—will you guys wait for me outside?" Kira asked, unbuckling her seatbelt to shift her attention to Luke. They were eye level, well almost, and both sitting in the front seats.
"You're not going to like this, but I have something to do before we go home and figure out the whole vampire meeting thing." His expression darkened, and a knowing look glazed over his eyes.
"You mean the whole keeping you alive and defeating Aldrich and changing the course of conduit history in the process thing?"
"When you put it like that, I see why this might annoy you, but it's just something I have to do."
Luke lifted his hand, rubbing the spot between his eyes. "Kira, I'm being patient and I'm giving you time, but I'm not just going to sit around while you try everything you can think of to bring your ex-boyfriend back—I'm just not."
Kira reached out, dropping her hand on his leg, trying to make him understand. "I'm not going to lie, I'm confused—about Tristan, about you, about myself—pretty much about everything. But I have to see if there is a way to bring his memories back, and it's not for me or about me. Can't you see how confused he is?"
"I do, I mean, I had to help the guy put on a pair of jeans," Luke laughed quietly, "the old Tristan would have probably slugged me for that. But, I'm being selfish this time, because I've been understanding for a long time. I thought that kiss meant you chose me, meant you wanted to be with me—"
"It did," Kira said, and at the time, it really did, but she had to resolve things with Tristan…a small part of her was still holding on, still refusing to let go, especially when he was so in need of a friend.
"Well, you have an interesting way of showing it."
He pulled the car into reverse and reached across the seats to open her door. But then thought better of it. He paused, looking at her, vulnerable.
"Does he, I mean, can you…?" Luke trailed off, but Kira knew exactly what he was asking.
"No," she said quietly, "no, I don’t feel his thoughts. I'm not sure why, but we’re not connected that way."
The ghost of a smile crossed Luke's face, and then faded as questions flowed back into his mind. He quelled them.
"I'll grab some food. Let's meet back here in an hour," Luke said, his voice heavy. Kira stole one more look, keeping her mind locked tight so she didn’t have to feel the pain coiling on his face, before stepping out of the car.
Without looking back, Luke made a u-turn and drove away. Kira kept watching the car until it disappeared down the end of the road—a big part of her heart went with it. He was right. Why was she holding onto the past when her future was right there, had been there all along keeping her happy and grounded and sane? What was she waiting for?
"Kira?" Tristan asked. "What are we doing?"
Kira spun on her heel. "Right. Sorry," she shook her head, clearing the fog Luke had created, "I'm taking you home, well, sort of."
"And what am I doing here?" Pavia asked. She had stepped closer to Tristan while Kira had been watching Luke, close enough to touch him.
"I need to borrow your expertise," Kira said, "but for now, follow me."
Only a few months before, a few months that seemed like a millennia, Kira had wondered the same thing—where was Tristan taking her? What was the secret place he was trying to show her? But now it was her turn to lead them off the road, through the low shrubs that lined the ground until they reached a marshy riverbank.
Kira kept walking, letting the two of them trail behind. Her memory was pulling her forward, was urging her up the river and against the current, until in the distance Kira spotted it: a low hanging tree branch that extended past the marshes, all the way until its branches licked the river.
Behind her, Tristan gasped.
Kira stopped moving.
Tristan sped past her, running toward the first place that seemed familiar to him since his reawakening.
Kira hardly noticed, a different more confident Tristan sprouted in her eyes—one that led her by the hand and kept looking back to see if she was alright, one that helped her hop on the tree branch, one that looked at her with an almost hungry passion in his deep blue eyes.
This was their spot to Kira, the place where he first told her all about his life as a vampire, the place where he first opened up, the place where their relationship really began.
But not anymore.
The new Tristan hadn't even looked back to see if Kira was still alive. He was speeding around the opening, running his fingers along the tree bark, marking this spot as his alone.
"Well, he's perked up, hasn't he?"
"Yeah," Kira said sadly. She didn’t know why, but part of her had thought that bringing Tristan back here would make him remember. They had been here countless times together, from lazy Saturday afternoons in the spring to the midnight picnic he had prepared for their six-month anniversary.
Part of her had obviously been wrong.
"So what's the deal?" Pavia asked, nudging Kira with her shoulder.
"I want you to look into his mind, to see if there is a way you can make him remember." Kira didn’t look at Pavia. Her eyes were still on Tristan as he climbed onto the overhanging limb and scooted out beyond the marsh to dip his feet in the water. He looked younger, like a little boy somehow.
Pavia eyed Kira, making a chill run down her spine.
"Is this for him or for you?" The vampire asked.
"I don't know," Kira said honestly, feeling better for finally letting the truth out.
"Fair enough," Pavia shrugged, pushing her sensitive side back undercover. "It'll be easier if I bite him."
Kira hesitated before nodding her approval. She would do anything for an answer.
The two of them kept walking together, letting a silence settle over the clearing. Tristan had finally noticed them, had finally remembered he wasn't alone.
"How did you find this place?" He asked Kira, wonder etched into his words. "I used to play here as a boy. It was my secret oasis."
"You brought me here," Kira said softly, trying to hide the pain in her voice. He was gone.
"Really?" He asked, "I never even allowed my mother to follow me here."
"I know."
He settled his gaze on her, but Kira looked out at the river. She could feel his eyes as they traveled down and back up her body—she was a puzzle he was trying to figure out, a mystery he couldn't solve.
After a minute, he stood up on the branch and walked toward the trunk, jumping back down to solid ground. He took a step toward Kira, his eyes questioning, careful.
Pavia, who had been leaning against the bark, looked at Kira.
Kira nodded.
Pavia stepped forward and grabbed Tristan's hand, swinging him back toward her. In a flash, Pavia's teeth were diving for his neck, slamming into his veins before Tristan even had the chance to struggle. His body stopped moving when Pavia began to drink. His eyes glazed over and a silly smile spread across his lips.
Kira kept her eyes averted, hardly believing she was standing there doing nothing. Her fire itched her palms, scalding her muscles for their inactivity. A sucking, slurping noise sounded in her ears and Kira covered them, letting her flames seep into her skull, trying to drown out the sound with the cackle of her fire.
Tristan was being eaten and she wasn't doing anything.
Her knees gave out and Kira fell to the ground, still clutching her head.
A rock hit her shoulder and Kira spun, flinging her hands out.
Pavia jumped back with a yelp. "Watch it!"
"Sorry," Kira said, winking out her fire.
Tristan was a ball in the dirt. His eyes were closed as if in slumber and Kira knelt beside him, cradling his head in her lap. She healed the two puncture wounds in his neck, sealing them closed.
"What'd you do?" She asked, her voice sad rather than accusatory.
"He won't remember being bitten. He'll think he fell from the tree."
"But what d
id you see?" Kira asked, looking at Pavia. Tristan stirred underneath her, shifting the head resting on her thighs.
Kira ran a hand down his cheek while his eyes flicked open, struggling to refocus.
"Are you okay?" Kira asked.
He nodded and sat up, clutching his head.
"Did I fall?"
"Don't worry, we won't tell anyone," Pavia said with a grin. He looked to Kira to confirm.
"Yeah, but don't worry about it," Kira said and stood up, brushing the dirt off of her legs, "happens to the best of us." She offered her hand, yanking him to his feet.
He rose, his body a few inches from her own. Kira looked up, holding her breath at his proximity. Tristan lifted his hand, reaching in her hair. He shifted, running his fingers through her curls. Kira held back a sigh, but couldn’t step away.
He pulled a leaf out of her hair and let it fall to the ground.
"Whoops," Kira said, finally moving away from the warmth of his body to feel for more leaves, but Tristan had found the only one.
He grabbed her hand to keep her from moving any farther away.
"I feel as though I know you, as though this has happened before," he whispered, "like maybe I have lived it once before in a dream."
Or a nightmare, Kira thought and snapped her hand out of his, moving a few feet away. He was haunting her, like a phantom of what had been. But Kira needed to wake up. This wasn't Tristan, not yet, and she needed to keep her distance. "What else do you want to see before we head back?"
"Is my house…?" He trailed off when Kira shook her head. No, his house was long gone. Tristan nodded. "Then I will just check one more spot, alone if you do not mind." Kira nodded and he walked away from them, vanishing around the curves of a few large oaks.
"What'd you see?" Kira asked without turning around.
"His memories are all there," Pavia said slowly, walking into Kira's line of vision.
"So why doesn’t he remember?"
"His humanity is like a wall, blocking them," Pavia said, stepping forward until she was close enough that Kira couldn't ignore her, "Do you remember what I said? Those other vampires are after you because this is exactly what they're afraid of. The human Tristan can't bear to remember what the vampire Tristan did, it would break him."
"So you can't bring them back? Not even one?"
"Not even one little memory of you?" Pavia asked, looking down at Kira with a knowing smile. "I could show him one of your memories, but his are an all or nothing deal right now. Bring one back and all of the others will follow. And I don't know what he told you, but there are some pretty dark things hidden in that very cute head of his."
"Don’t," Kira said, fighting the urge to smack Pavia across the cheek. The vampire was here to help, she tried to remind herself, here because they had a friendship of sorts.
"I'm just trying to make you understand," Pavia said, stepping back.
"I know," Kira turned to Pavia, ready with an apology.
Pavia held her hand up and shrugged, "As far as I'm concerned, we're good as long as those flames in your hands don't come shooting in my direction. I came back to help you, hard as it may be to believe."
"Because I saved you from Aldrich?"
"Because you gave me some hope," Pavia said, trailing off.
Kira looked at her, really took the time to take in the vampire standing in front of her. Aside from Tristan, Pavia was the only vampire she had met who seemed to want something more, who was tired of the shadow of immortality.
"Let's not hug this out, okay?" Pavia grinned, teasing.
"Deal," Kira smiled, "but can I ask you one more thing?"
Pavia nodded.
"What would you want, if you were Tristan?"
"I," Pavia started, but at that exact moment, Tristan reappeared, holding a mud-crusted box in his arms.
"I can't believe I found this!" He exclaimed, excitement coloring his words. Kira turned toward him, lighting her features with a mock enthusiasm.
"What is it?" She asked, looking away from Pavia, whose mouth was still hanging open, offering the answer Kira either dreaded or wanted to hear. There would be time to found out which later.
"A box I buried before the war." He knelt down in the grass and gently lifted the lid. "These were my prized possessions."
Lifting a small canvas bag, Tristan flipped it over in his hands and a handful of glass marbles dropped out. He rolled them around his palm, laughter dancing across his features.
"Marbles?" Kira asked.
"Glass marbles," Tristan corrected, "the best gift my father ever gave me."
"What else?" Kira asked, kneeling next to him. Why had Tristan never shown her these things before?
He took a cloth out and slowly unwrapped it like a present. A giant golden amulet gleamed in the sun, and Tristan picked it up by its gold-link chain. As it spun with the wind, Kira realized it was a pocket watch, still preserved incredibly well despite the passage of time.
Tristan put the device against his ear, slacking when he failed to hear it tick.
"Don't worry," Kira said and placed a hand on his shoulder, "I'm sure we can get it fixed somewhere."
He shook his head. "It stopped working the day my brother died, the day I joined the army. I did not really expect to hear anything."
"Your brother died before you joined?" Kira asked. "I thought you joined together…"
"No," Tristan said softly, "I did not start fighting until his death gave me cause to go to war. I enlisted with him out of duty, but eventually joined the war for him, despite all of our differences."
He set the watch back down and pulled out a third pouch. Kira sat back, stunned. Who was this man in front of her?
"My mother," Tristan said, revealing his final trinket, which was an elegant cameo of a woman's profile cut into rose quartz. "I'm surprised this is still here, I thought I would have come back for it."
"That's beautiful," Pavia said, leaning over Tristan's shoulder, running a finger over the pendant. "Before I turned, I used to dream of having jewelry like that."
"It was her wedding present from my father," Tristan folded the cloth back over the jewel, covering it up again. "It was meant to be passed down to my bride, and to our children after that."
Kira tried to fight the sting of those words. Was she being an idiot? Tristan loved her, more than she knew a person could love someone else, but why had he kept these things from her? Why had his human life remained so far apart from the stories he told her?
"What's in the last pouch?" She asked, indicating the last unwrapped box.
"My paints," he said sadly, "but I doubt they've passed the test of time. I will open them later."
He closed the lid, shutting his personal side off. Standing, Tristan brushed the dirt from his clothes and swallowed deeply.
"I've seen everything I needed to see."
"Let's find Luke then," Kira said while stretching her body back upright, "he's probably back by now."
"Let's go," Pavia chirped and started walking. Tristan followed and Kira brought up the rear.
As they reached the river, Kira took one look back. She would never be here again, and that was a promise. It had been a mistake to come, Kira realized. Whereas before, this had been their place, their oasis, Kira now felt like an intruder. It was Tristan's spot and it had been for years—Kira was just a blip on the radar, drifting farther away, getting quieter and quieter.
She knew what she had to do.
Tristan could never remember.
The first time they had met—five seconds before English class began, a moment Kira would remember forever—she had seen it then. The weight of time in his eyes, the heaviness over his heart. The more she grew to love him, the more she had seen why.
Life with Aldrich, watching everyone he had ever met die, feeding off of humans to survive—it had been a burden on his soul. And she wouldn't be the one to bring that shadow back around him.
A few days ago, Kira had been ready to say goo
dbye to the vampire, but now she was ready to say goodbye to the man that had been inside of Tristan all along.
But there was one thing left to do.
One more burden to overcome before Kira could let him go.
Aldrich.
When the three of them finally reached the clearing, Luke was there waiting, as he always had been. He looked up over the rim of the sandwich he was biting into, and his eyes instantly traveled to the berth of space between Kira and Tristan. His shoulder slackened, the worry eased from his body.
But that wasn't what Kira wanted either. She didn’t want Luke to feel like the leftovers. For once, Kira wished he could step inside of her head, to feel the way her pulse was quickening at the sight of him, to feel the peace that settled in her body just by thinking about him.
He wasn't second place.
He was the grand prize—the one hiding in plain sight this entire time.
So Kira opened the door and gripped the hand resting in his lap, holding on securely and letting warmth funnel through their bond.
"How'd it go?" He asked and rubbed his thumb along the sensitive skin of her palm.
"I know what to do," Kira said, looking into his eyes.
"And the rest of us are starving," Pavia sighed from the backseat. "Got any blood in that shopping bag?"
"Sorry," he grinned, "I'm a human-only lunch service. Tristan, turkey or ham? Take your pick." He tossed the bag of sandwiches into Tristan's lap.
Perplexed, Tristan pulled a ball of paper from the bag and began to unwrap it.
"Don't worry. It tastes really great," Kira smiled at him.
"Especially if you put some of those hot peppers on it," Luke suggested, eyeing the peppers spilling from his own concoction. "If there are any left…"
"There better be some left!" Kira grabbed the bag, "I'm the one who introduced you to those things."
"And then the student became the master," Luke teased and took a huge bite from his sandwich, barely able to close his mouth without letting breadcrumbs slip out.
"Ah," Kira gave a satisfied sigh as she pulled a hidden plastic cup full of peppers from the bag. She opened the bread roll and dropped some on top of the ham and cheese before taking her own huge bite.
Scorch (Midnight Fire Series) Page 7
