by A. Z. Green
“Since when? How come you never told us?” Lisa, getting offended.
Ellie grumbled a warning at her.
Jaz sighed, preparing herself for a careful speech that said enough to keep them pacified but told them nothing, and to try and do it all without lying to them. Well, without lying to them TOO much.
I'm a horrible person.
She breathed in and out loudly, pausing a moment before speaking. “You remember a year ago when I was off sick for like three weeks? I told you I'd caught a bug and you had to stay away 'cos I didn't want you to catch it?”
“Yeah?”
“Yes?”
“Well, that's not really true. I can't really talk about the real reason 'cos it's difficult for me, but I went through something... mentally. Something that totally freaked me out and I needed time to recover from it.”
“What was it?” Ellie inquired gently.
“I can't really explain. I mean, like not now, maybe when I'm ready. All I can say was that I was really badly affected by it. It was sort of a nightmare I had that was so real I thought it was real. That make sense?”
“I think so,” Ellie said, trying to help Jaz get through it.
“Anyway, I've been trying to get over it for a year. The doc didn't know what was up and I was seeing my Aunt Ruth.”
“The psychiatrist bitch Aunt Ruth?” Lisa grumbled.
“The very one.”
“Wow, you must have been desperate.”
“Lisa!” Ellie cried in horror.
Jaz burst out laughing despite herself and that made Lisa giggle. Then Ellie sniggered a little too.
“So my Aunt Erica suggested I should come here. It's a private place. Sort of exclusive and hush hush. Even celebrities come here,” Jaz added in a pretend excited voice.
They both gasped.“Really, like who?” Lisa questioned in a hushed voice.
Jaz shrugged as she said, “I don't know. Politicians, actors, singers. They don't say who, because it would drive clients away.”
“How long are you planning on staying there?” Ellie asked, her voice thick with concern and sadness.
Jaz had feared this one question. “I'm not sure. As long as it takes I guess.”
“An estimate?” Lisa pushed.
“It won't be just a few weeks.” That was true at least. She didn't want to lie or make a promise she couldn't keep. But she didn't want to hurt them or worry them either. “I can still keep in touch every now and again, but the signal here is bad, even on their land line. And they have this stupid thing about calling relatives and those outside, because it might have a negative effect on the healing process.”
“Did you memorize that or something?” Lisa joked.
Jaz laughed awkwardly. “Just heard it enough times.”
“Well at least we know you're alive and breathing,” Lisa responded.
“Yeah, well, they kinda go hand in hand,” Jaz replied ironically.
Ellie giggled and Lisa flicked her in the shoulder. Ellie crowed 'Ow!' and Lisa guffawed. Jaz could tell all this just by the sounds she heard.
“Please get well soon. I hope they'll let you call again real soon.”
“Me too Elle.”
“Try not to bang anyone while you're in there! No matter how desperate you get!” Lisa joked.
“I'll try,” Jaz muttered dryly.
“At least until you are able to tell us about it!” Lisa giggled mischievously and Jaz rolled her eyes. “Speaking of, what happened with the creepy but hot driver? He try anything?”
This caught Jaz off guard. The strange thing was, she had always had a reason to be suspicious of him. He did kidnap and drug her. Well, her aunt played a huge part in it. And yet, even after everything, she'd gotten him all wrong. She smiled and said, “He turned out to be safe. No axe murderer or rapist.”
“That's good to hear. So maybe when you make a break from that place you can get him to reward you for your efforts on the drive back,” Lisa teased.
Jaz blushed and let out a short embarrassed giggle. “You're so... lovely, Lis,” she replied sarcastically.
“Love you too babes.”
They all said their goodbyes and Jaz hung up.
The tension that had been building up in her already overworked muscles was released out in a long, heavy breath. She didn't touch the phone again for more than ten minutes before she was ready to dial her parents number.
What was once her home number.
*
Sunday June 5th, 5:31 p.m.
Driver had been listening intently to the conversation on his line, especially when he was mentioned.
He'd heard the shyness in Jaz's voice. Her friend Lisa's teasing had left her all ruffled. He liked Lisa, simply because she brought out sides of Jaz that he hadn't, or rarely got the chance to meet.
And Jaz had stuck to her word. Edda had told her what he had expected of her and she hadn't disappointed. She'd been very convincing. He knew how difficult it must have been for her to lie to her best friends.
He was surprised that she hadn't called her parents first. Then halfway through her conversation to Lisa and Elle, he'd understood her reasons. She was preparing herself for them, because it would be a much harder conversation to have. She knew they weren't her real parents. And she'd have to face that.
At least, in some pathetic kind of way, he could get through it with her by listening to the conversation. He hoped she could feel the reassurance and encouragement he was mentally propelling through the phone. Though probably not.
*
“Mum?”
“Oh Jasmine! Darling, are you okay? John! It's Jaz!”
Jaz squinted as her mother's shrill voice shrieked across the room and in her ear hole. “I'm fine Mum.” she held back the tears and steadied her voice.
“Jaz?” Her dad had picked up the phone in their bedroom.
“Dad.” She held back the tears and steadied her voice. She'd always been a daddy's girl at heart.
“Oh thank God, you're okay.”
“I'm-”
“Where are you?” he demanded.
She hesitated. “You know where I am.” There was a confused, tense pause. “At the spa?”
“Oh Jaz, come on-”
“I'm doing well. I'm feeling much better, but I need to stay here for a while longer.”
“Jaz, when are you coming home?” Her mother was practically pleading.
“I don't know. Not for a while. But they're taking care of me. I'm okay.”
“What have they done to y-?”
“My aunt is here. She's great. So is my grandmother.” Another pause. “I know about Thorpe and Eliza.” There was a sharp intake of breath from both parents on the line, followed by a long, strained silence. “And I just want you to know that it changes nothing. I love you both, very much.”
“I-I,” her mum stuttered.
“We love you too, Jazzybaby,” was her dad's reply.
She hadn't been called that since she was ten, when she'd demanded they stopped. Now when she heard it, instead of mortification, she felt grief, as if she'd lost them for real. In many ways, she had. “Love you too,” she said in a thin voice. She cleared her throat and fought back the burning tears threatening to pierce through her tough outer shell. “And I'll see you, hopefully sooner rather than later. Bye.” She hung up before they could keep her on the line any longer. She dropped the phone on the floor and stared out the open window.
To her surprise, though she felt so miserable she could burst, no tears came. Instead, she was left to her misery with no source of release except to think it out.
It was a long night.
*
Monday June 6th , 7:03 a.m. - Day of Fraya's Council Meeting
Jaz was surprised to find the next morning, how much stronger she felt. She had not only recovered -no pains, aches, or stiffness- she felt solid, like she'd done a killer workout. Well she had, but a workout that didn't involve breaking and realigning bones. She hadn't
realized that was what had actually happened to her until Edda mentioned it that morning.
She'd walked into the kitchen, her stomach growling loudly at the smell of eggs and toast and steak.
“G'morning!” Edda called cheerily.
“Morning.”
Edda turned to observe Jaz admiringly. Jaz looked well. Her face was bright, in fact, glowing. Her skin was hydrated, the shadows under her eyes had disappeared and now her greeny-blue eyes were bright and clear. She'd even made an effort to look nice, putting on some light denim jeggings and a cream t-shirt that clung to her figure and made her skin look bright and creamy. She'd tied her hair up -which she rarely did- in a messy bun, loose strands dangled down in front of her ears, framing her oval face.
“You look good,” she complimented her.
“Thanks. I feel good, actually.”
Edda grinned serving up a big plate with three eggs, a big steak and mushrooms, beans, tomatoes and a separate plate stacked high with homemade wholemeal toast. “Didn't believe me huh?”
Jaz munched on a slice of toast, dipping it into the beans.“No. Not with how I felt last night. What exactly... happened?”
Edda was pleased she was ready to ask about it, and hopefully, to hear the answers. “Your body was training itself. The first time is the hardest but not necessarily the worst.”
“Training how?”
“Eat up, I'll tell you.” Jaz stuffed her mouth full of steak and munched away whilst Edda spoke. “During the Phase or Change, your body goes through a huge amount of strain and displacement. This was like a trial run. You'll have a fair few before you're body thinks your ready to fully Change. Your bones need to break and dislocate to become used to the process.”
“How come I healed if my bones broke?”
“Well, our bodies are meant for this strain. We heal very quickly, though don't be fooled in believing we heal just as quickly with any other injury, or that we're invincible, 'cos we're not, and we don't, but compared to a human, yeah we heal pretty quick.
“Our bones break during the Change but they go into healing super drive, -which would account for the exhaustion- and then they break and move again to turn back into human form and re-heal. Mainly though, there is more dislocating and alterations than actual breaks. The worst break is in the back legs. The kneecaps are bent back to form hind legs. That is very painful. So is the reshaping of the spine and neck.”
Jaz winced. “How are they... reshaped?”
“The spine becomes much straighter, the neck also has to be- altered, so that the skull can sit horizontally rather than vertically, so it becomes like the body of a four-legged animal, such as a dog, wolf or big cat.”
“Do we have, like, tails?”
“Yes, but there is no bone in the tail. And it's not like anything you'll have seen before. Maybe something resembling a Bull-whip with lots of strands. Underneath our skin -which you are still developing and will maybe feel tingle sometimes as they grow- are long, thin fibres a bit like the tines of a feather. They push out through the skin forming a coat of 'fur'. But it isn't like normal fur. The hair is much finer, and looks odd. At least it will to you.”
“I doubt that will be the oddest thing I'll find about a Were.”
Edda smiled wryly. “I'll bet.”
“What colour is the hair?”
Edda took a sip of tea. “It depends. Most of the time the colours match your hair colour, or your status, so it can change too, for example, if you become a Pack Leader.”
“It changes? Like a chameleon?”
“It can, but not like a chameleon. We don't have a camouflage unfortunately. We get what we're given. Apart from becoming a Pack Leader, the only time the colour may deepen or go darker is when we're angry, which is like a human face, it goes red when you're angry. Or when we're hot. And of course when we get wet.”
Jaz took a few mouthfuls of food giving her time to absorb the information before she asked another question. “What did you mean about the status of a Were and their colour?”
“Usually, the Pack Master also known as the Pack Leader, is a dark colour, mainly black, which is normally down to their bloodline and genes. So a Pack Leader isn't always necessarily black or dark-haired.
“Those that are born with light hair, may only become a few shades darker as soon as they're given Pack Leader status. I remember someone who used to be a blonde-haired Were and then turned a sandy colour when he became Pack Leader. It certainly came as a surprise to a few superstitious people who argued that he should have at least turned dark brown.
“It caused a bit of a fuss. But he proved them wrong. Anyway, there are other ways to tell,” she said wafting her hand as if wiping that bothersome memory away. Jaz wondered what she meant but Edda was already speaking again. “And it's not always the bloodline that discerns who is and isn't in line for Pack Leader. It can be anyone- within reason. Anyway I'll tell you more about that another time, unless Nik decides to fill you in.”
Jaz thought about that for a moment and then decided that she actually wouldn't mind him talking about it with her. In fact she'd really like that. But they weren't exactly buddies at the moment, so perhaps it would be a long time before they had that conversation. If ever. “So, Driv-Nik... is what colour?”
Edda smiled playfully. “I'll guess you'll have to see for yourself.”
Jaz blanched. Edda grinned. Jaz eyed her uncomfortably and then chewed on another piece of steak.“So I would be brown?”
“Auburn, you mean?” Jaz rolled her eyes but didn't bother arguing. Her hair was brown, and yes maybe had a little bit of red in it, but it was still brown. Edda was just being picky. “Or perhaps... well...” Edda trailed off.
“What?” Jaz perked up. Edda gave her a sideways look. “What?” Jaz questioned uneasily.
“Well, the Pack Leader's mate is usually white or cream coloured.” Jaz stared at her blankly. “It warns any other male to keep their paws off,” Edda added with a wry smile.
“Figuratively speaking, of course,” Jaz joked.
Edda smiled crookedly. “So... you could eventually be... well, white-haired.”
Jaz's eyebrows raised a foot, and her eyes widened in astonishment. Edda stared at her carefully, gauging her reaction, when Jaz suddenly knocked her head back and laughed loudly.
Edda was so shocked by her reaction she didn't know if it was real or not.
“You think I'm Nik's mate?” She asked in a high, giggly, disbelieving voice, pressing her hands on her chest.
Edda frowned. “A possible candidate, yes.” That just made Jaz laugh even harder. She nearly fell off her barstool. “Why is that so hard to believe?” Edda questioned a little defensively.
Jaz looked at her seriously, cutting off her laugh like flicking off a light. All humour evaporated from her face. “Well for one thing Lora was his mate. And another thing, he doesn't like me, and I don't like him. I mean aren't you supposed to feel all lovey dovey or something? I know I sure as hell don't.”
Edda arched a skeptical brow. “You sure about that?”
“Yes, I am. And anyway I thought you only ever had one mate -your 'soulmate' or whatever- and then that was it?”
“Most of the time, right. But that doesn't mean you can never love anyone else or never have more than one mate especially when we're talking about Pack Leaders. So you could be a candidate-”
“Stop saying that, it sounds like I'm in a sex gameshow-”
“And just to be clear,” Edda barked over her.“With someone who isn't a mate, you just don't feel that same connection as you would if they were. For some people, that's just not enough. They want their bonded mate or no one at all. And then there's others who run away from the closeness the bond provides. The intensity terrifies them.” She gave Jaz a meaningful look that Jaz pretended to ignore.
Jaz then shot back, “Yes, but like I said, Lora was his mate. They loved each other. They were happy. How could I then possibly be the Pack Leader's mate and ther
efore possibly be white-haired, especially after everything I've just told you? I don't feel anything like that for him. I'm not going to drool all over him either just because he's a Pack Leader, even if he has the potential to have more mates than a Sultan's harem.
“If you suspect he has any feelings for me or I for him, which is what you're digging at -and you're wrong- then why couldn't it just be a normal attraction? Why the bond obsession? Why are you so adamant that I might be a potential bonded thingamajig anyway?” Jaz demanded folding her arms.
“Because Lora wasn't his mate.”
Jaz gawked at her.“W-wait. What?” She unfolded her arms and they flopped by her side like two dead fish. Edda took another sip of her milky tea and placed it carefully down on the worktop. Jaz watched the motion, her eyes glued to the mug, with the same expression fixed on her face. “That's not true,” Jaz argued, her voice hollow and uncertain.
“I'm sorry, but it is.”
“How could you possibly know that?”
Edda looked her squarely in the face. “Because he told me.” Jaz's brow furrowed trying to make sense of her words. “He doesn't confide in many people about anything personal, but he wanted me to take very good care of you and he said to me, 'she's special, and even if she hates me for the rest of her life, she will always be mine to protect, and that's enough.' I don't need to be psychic to see the meaning behind that. He meant you're his potential mate.”
Jaz's mouth fell open. She had stopped eating minutes ago and now she knew she couldn't eat another mouthful. “H-he said that, I-I mean, he- the same Nik Driver- said that?”
Edda smiled gently, knowingly. “Yes.”
Jaz stared into space. “Just because she wasn't his mate, doesn't mean I am,” she remarked quietly.
“It does when he can tell the difference. He didn't feel the bond, until he met you. His words proved that much.”
Jaz bit her lip, unable to absorb this new revelation properly, she could only joke about it. “You sure he wasn't high on some mushrooms or summit when he said that?” she snorted awkwardly.
